NOT a joke: "Fla. Teacher Accused Of Wizardry - Man Made Toothpick Vanish In Class"

[Bozita]

I have this incredible urge to bang my head into a wall.

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

Fla. Teacher Accused Of Wizardry
Man Made Toothpick Vanish In Class
POSTED: 10:15 pm EDT May 5, 2008
UPDATED: 12:09 am EDT May 6, 2008

LAND 'O LAKES, Fla. -- A substitute teacher in Pasco County has lost his job after being accused of wizardry.

Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears.

Piculas recently did the 30-second trick in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes.

Piculas said he then got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he'd been accused of wizardry.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said.

more...

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. These people have never heard of magic illusions? n/t

[leftofcool]

2. Sounds like someone doesn't know the difference between

magic and magick

[Solly Mack]

3. Fucking Muggles

[The Backlash Cometh]

46. Even in the Wizarding world you get to face your accusers in court.

[Solly Mack]

49. and you just know they were fans of "Bewitched" while growing up

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

192. I was a fan of "Watch Mr. Wizard" when I was a kid

I would have loved to have seen a real wizard at work in my classroom.

(Actually, it was a science show for children back in the 1950s, for the young crowd, but it apparently would have had to change its name in these dark-age times where the insane seem to have prevailed).

[Winterblues]

55. But not in Bush* Amerika

Where citizens are picked up off the streets of American cities and whisked away to another country and denied all "rights" guaranteed them under the US Constitution and the Extreme Court says it is all right because some one called them an "enemy combatant". They can be held for years with no charges being filed and the American public says ho hum....:shrug: get over the idea that you have "rights".

[Wizard777]

92. Yes! Under certain circumstances you're even entitled to a duel.

:dunce: :nuke: :wow:

[The Backlash Cometh]

96. Yes, the old, "my stick is bigger than your stick."

Well, the only difference is, that in the wizarding world, you get to keep the other player's stick when you win the duel.

[tavalon]

158. LOL

:rofl: :spray: :rofl:

[whistle]

4. That is the Bible Belt for you

[spinbaby]

45. That's south of the Bible Belt

Kind of in the crotch area.

[The Backlash Cometh]

47. Florida is obscene, in a very blatant way.

[whistle]

89. Florida republicans are blatantly obscene

[The Backlash Cometh]

91. It's the old 80/20 rule.

80% Republicans, and 20% old guard Dems.

[lazyriver]

57. I'd say south of the belt and around the bend from the crotch

area. These people are assholes, plain and simple.

[Bake]

73. Sounds like a case of jock rot ...

Bake

[orleans]

78. if jesus were alive today these morans would burn him at the stake! n/t

[intheflow]

86. Well yeah,

turning water into wine is definitely satanic forces at work. x(

[Tesha]

125. Wel, ya know, you turn water into wine at a wedding and that could lead to (gasp!) dancing! (NT)

[awoke_in_2003]

122. "these morans would burn him at the stake!"

only if they floated :)

[HowHasItComeToThis]

193. IS THE MORONS???????????????????

PLEASE ADVISE

[orleans]

206. .

[tavalon]

159. Actually, that's just a little south of where I grew up

Southern Baptists are strong there. I know. I was raised one. I got better.

[LaurenG]

5. I think some Americans in red states have officially jumped the shark!

:eyes:

[pingzing58]

6. Everybody has to have a lawyer these days. What idiots.

[gatorboy]

7. What are you gonna do? It's Florida!

[timtom]

95. What an idiotic thing to say.

See? That's like me saying you're probably a drug smuggler just because of the Mena thing with Barry Seals some years back.

[gatorboy]

119. That was years ago. Florida is bat shit crazy on a daily basis.

;)

[timtom]

120. Aha!! So! You admit it!

You ARE from Arkansas! I knew it.

And my spider sense tells me you are...an...AQUARIUS..Wait...no...uh...

[gatorboy]

121. Sagittarius...But I DO marry my cousins on occasion.

[J R]

156. Hey Jerk, enough Arkansas bashing

Grow up...

[verges]

181. I thought it was Aquarius bashing. n/t

[gatorboy]

184. Who's Arkansas bashing? Have you SEEN my cousins? Mama Mia!

Lighten up, Francis. :rofl:

[tavalon]

161. Excellent

I love a great retort. And you are spot on about the batshit crazies that are all over Central Florida.

[tavalon]

160. Okay, I come from there so I'll spell out what it's like there

These are simple and easily led people and they are led by simple and stupid Southern Baptists. Get it?

When gatorboy said what he said, it was shorthand for what I just said.

[Obamanaut]

115. Remember 1992 when we voted to limit terms for elected officials

and reelected nearly every state incumbent on the ballot, and then that was overturned, and then turned back over? And remember 2000? And yet, some folks are still surprised. Shucks, its 2008 and we're in the spotlight again.

And I was born here, but you're the first one I've told. Sssshhhhh.

[Quantess]

118. Florida makes the stupid-news disproportionately more than any other state, it seems.

What's up with that?

[Frank Cannon]

154. Fark.com even has a special Florida tag for their weird news items

Because of all the crazy shit that happens there.

[tavalon]

I think it's sunstroke

More victims of global warming?:shrug:

[tavalon]

162. Stupid is as stupid does?

[whopis01]

183. Because all the weirdos from other states end up retiring here. n/t

[SexiJesi23]

189. I don't know, but they really, really do?

[mindfulNJ]

8. wtf?

Are they going to burn him at the stake now???

[The Backlash Cometh]

50. Worse. He'll lose his job to someone's crony in-law.

[TalkingDog]

112. Muddy Water's Solution: Shot me baby, wif a toof-pick!!! n/t

[awoke_in_2003]

123. Well, he did turn his supervisor into

a newt (he is better now)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g

[tavalon]

164. Only if he doesn't float

[Squatch]

9. This has got to be a joke. Please tell me this is a joke.

[guardian]

10. Must be true

apparently somehow the brain of the supervisor of teachers disappeared.

[tavalon]

165. Um, no, it never actually existed

Can't lose what you've never had.

[wtmusic]

11. So did they dunk the bastard? nt

[jmowreader]

22. No, but they found out if he weighed as much as a duck

If he would have, they'd have burned him at the stake but since he was heavier, they just fired him.

Explain that to the kid who's still a newt, though.

[On the Road]

113. Hahahahaha

:rofl:

Now THAT kid had a right to get his teacher fired.

[msongs]

12. as if the resurrection scam is not trickery sheesh nt

[Fridays Child]

40. See my post at #39.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3250478&mesg_id=3250654

[BattyDem]

13. This is a joke .... right?

This can't actually happen in the 21st century in the USA ... right? I mean ... come on! Wizardry? The man is accused of wizardry?!?!? :rofl:

Note to David Copperfield: Stay out of Florida. They'll burn you at the stake! :scared:

[tavalon]

167. Relax. It didn't happen in the USA,

it happened in Florida. ;)

[Ian David]

14. To be fair, he also stole a student's nose and made it wiggle between his fingers.

[Solly Mack]

17. ROFLMAO

[nashville_brook]

72. ah--hahhhahhhaaaaa!

[hootinholler]

104. Then he pulled a quarter out of the student's ear!

That had to hurt!

:rofl:

-Hoot

[Tesha]

127. And fourteen boys in the class reported that their penises had been magically removed by sorcery. NT

[driver8]

15. Florida has got to be the most fucked up state in the country.

Or at least has the most "in-breeding."

How do people get so fucking stupid?

[Elidor]

21. I don't think it's inbreeding

I think the summer sun broils their brains.

Wizardry? My god. THE STUPID! IT BURNS!!!

[MountainLaurel]

62. Perhaps a combination thereof

I think Florida tends to get a lot of folks from other areas looking for jobs in construction and tourism.

[tavalon]

169. Okay, that's it!

I'm sending this thread to JeffR. If this whole thread doesn't warrant a DUzy, I don't know what does!!

[Greyhound]

37. It's neck and neck between FL & TX, with KS coming on strong.

With the rest of Jesusland making up the rest of the field.

(Formerly) unfuckingbelievable.

[proud2BlibKansan]

75. Hey leave Kansas off of that list

We are definitely cleaning up our act here. We have a great Dem governor and we are silencing the talibornagains. So give us some credit here. okay?

[Greyhound]

149. Absolutely no problem at all.

I live in Oregon for Dog's sake, talk about schizophrenic. One of the Senators here is so far up shrub's ass, we only know what kind of shoes he wears, and don't scratch the "liberals" too hard, either, 'cause you'll find a lot more Raygun Democrats than many would think from the press we get.

[Mabus]

99. You best be talking college sports

otherwise you have just demonstrated that you have no clue about what's going on in Kansas these days. Yes, Kansas is trying to go neck and neck with Florida, for back-to-back NCAA basketball championships. And yes, Kansas is trying to go neck and neck with Texas in their football prowess. But, beyond that, we're not neck and neck with Florida or Texas at all. So, as a proud Kansan, who is tired of her home state being used as an example of lunacy, I have no idea what you are talking about. Because if you knew Kansas, like I know Kansas, you'd realize just how wrong you are in painting my state with an inflammatory remark.

The Kansas governor just vetoed a coal plant because of CO2 emissions. She's - that's right, we have a female governor - is the first governor to veto a coal plant based on concerns of its impact on the climate crisis. Did I mention that our governor, Kathleen Sebelius, is a Democrat? Did I mention that our governor is serving her second term? She won both of her races with more than 60% of the popular vote. Moreover, she's also been talked about as a VP candidate. And did you know that in 2006 we proud citizens of Kansas ousted an incumbent "Christian" Republican - Jim Ryun, an Olympic runner - from his seat in Congress? We replaced him with a Democrat, who is also a woman. Our newest congressional member is Nancy Boyda. Now she's a good Christian. She believes in gay rights, science and doesn't take PAC money.

But we have our share of great men too. William Allen White, an editor from Emporia, was known as the Sage of Emporia and was FDR's voice of middle America to help rouse support for the Allies in World War I. And one of the reasons that you are able to post here on DU is because of a Kansan, Lou Montulli. But, we all know that this can't be true because Kansans are so backward they can't communicate or relate to the rest of America and we all know that Kansans don't believe in science, right? :eyes: One of my neighbors was William S. Burroughs. I'd see him at the local grocery store in the middle of the night buying cat food with people like Kurt Cobain or David Byrnes in tow. But, this can't be true either because we all know that Kansas is so backassword that no one ever wants to go there unless they have to because everyone knows that we Kansans are all busy picking our teeth with wheat and marrying our siblings.

Maybe you don't have the pride in the state you live in that I have for my state. My ancestors moved from Massachusetts and Maine to shed blood in their fight keep Kansas a state free from slavery. My great-uncle's playmate was Langston Hughes. See, the first home that my ancestors built was in an integrated neighborhood. My grandfather and his siblings went to school with black kids at the turn of last century. Kansas has one of the two remaining federal colleges for American Indians. It was built in 1884 and has gone from a manual training school to a four-year accredited university. I'm proud of Kansas and its citizens.

Finally, fwiw, I just moved from Kansas to the DC metro area. One of the first phone calls I got when I moved here was from the Shower Nuts. A fundamentalist church that is fearful that transgenders will take showers "in the wrong showers" at public pools this summer. The "horrors". They were so upset and afraid that they were out with petitions at local stores. There are wacky people everywhere. To my knowledge there has never been a problem with transgenders showering at public pools in the past and I'm not sure why they thought it should be an issue now. But there are wacky, stupid, superstitious, backward people everywhere. Not just Florida or Texas but everywhere. There are some in every country. And there are no states that want more wacky people moving there. I'd be willing to bet that there are more people who wish the numbnuts they know would move elsewhere than there are people want morons to move into their neighborhoods.

Please quit stereotyping us and other states like the corporate media does. It gets old, it creates apathy and just makes our job on the ground getting people to vote even harder than it already is.

[Greyhound]

148. LOL!

The fact that you can get so worked up over the reputation that area has built, and still somwhat deserves, indicates that there hasn't been much change, but don't worry, FL & TX are miles ahead of everybody else in embarrassingly backward, crazy shit.

I've never understood why some people invest so much emotion in the geography of an accident of birth. Do you believe that evolution and creationism are equally valid theories? If not, then relax in the knowledge that you know better. Home is somewhere for everybody, even in KS.

[Greyhound]

151. n/t Ignore this marker. n/t

[tavalon]

171. I never lived in Kansas

but I had the dishonor of living in both the other states for way too much of my life (paying off karma points, maybe). Those are two of the stupidest states evah!

[Lorien]

98. Most of the people who live here are from other states

it's a giant melting pot of stupid, which is why so many here call it "Flori-duh".

[tavalon]

172. Not in Central Florida

There the problem is generational inbreeding, much the same as in appalachia.

[Lorien]

185. I live in Central Florida. WTF are you talking about?

Nearly everyone is a transplant here. I've met TWO native Floridians since moving here 19 years ago. My neighbors are from Michigan, Boston, London, Rochester NY, Virginia and New Hampshire. You want inbreeding? Head North to rural North Florida and South Georgia.

And I've been through the rural logging towns in YOUR state. Same deal.

[tavalon]

191. I'm well aware of that dichotomy in my state

I also spent pretty much all of my life in Florida and in Texas, so I'm familiar, very familiar with the backwoods backwards that happens in both. If you live in Orlando, your information is correct, but if you live in Summerfield or Belleview, I doubt you're correct.

[timtom]

196. Listen. I like your progressive thinking.

Help me. I live in Florida. Please tell me the many states that are not fucked up. (I've lived in Texas, Hawaii, Connecticut, North Carolina, Georgia, and Colorado, so I know it's not any of those, from personal experience.)

[timtom]

199. I know, right?

Kinda like

Police Officer Accused Of Relationship With Girl, 13

Charges include forcible rape, unlawful intercourse with a minor and oral copulation.
The King's County district attorney said two of the girls are 14 to 16 years old.
The most serious charges against Ferguson are from a relationship they say he had with a 13-year-old girl.

http://www.turnto23.com/news/16164190/detail.html

Oh, wait. That's California. Never mind.

[driver8]

209. Ha Ha -- Believe me, CA has its share of morans, too!

It just seems that the really bizarre stuff happens in Florida.

I have an aunt who lives there and I always give her a hard time about her state.

[dorkulon]

16. Wow. Unfathomably stupid.

:banghead:

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ian David]

29. They might not be Christians. They might be Scientologists or something. n/t

[EOTE]

65. If they were Scientologist, they would have accused him of being

an agent of the dark lord Xenu. Or, perhaps even worse than that, the anti-Hubbard. Or still worse, a...psychiatrist! :yoiks:

[bdamomma]

52. maybe their own island would be better.

[TrogL]

68. Like this?

[14thColony]

82. Uhhhh...they tried to leave already.

A little dust-up in 1861-1865 you might have heard of.

[Tesha]

130. Let's do it again; this time we'll gladly let them secede! (NT)

[elizfeelinggreat]

19. good grief

That's phenomenally sad.

[Ian David]

20. Charles S. Rushe Middle School (I'd hate to join their Dungeons and Dragons Club)

18654 Mentmore Boulevard, Land O’ Lakes, Florida 34638. Phone [phone]
Home of the Ravens


Ron Michalak, Dave Estabrook and Rachel Zick have all failed their saving-throw versus stupid.


Ron Michalak [e-mail]
Assistant Principal for Administration

Dave Estabrook [e-mail]
Principal

Rachel Zick [e-mail]
Assistant Principal for Instruction

More:
http://ravenspace.pasco.k12.fl.us/admin

[KamaAina]

143. The Ravens? Isn't that kind of, y'know, occult?

Home of the Ravens

Hopefully we'll hear from these :dunce: s "nevermore"!

[Quantess]

144. ravenspace.com sounds witchy, no doubt about it.

Weird.

[Hugabear]

23. To be fair, there may be a lot more to the story that we don't know

I saw this on our local news last night as well. A school spokesman said that this alone wasn't the reason, but that there had been other complaints about this teacher as well.

Still, does seem all rather silly.

[Ian David]

24. Unless he did the, "My hands are behind my back but my finger is still poking you" trick... n/t

[Nickster]

33. LMAO. Ewwww.

[ck4829]

25. Florida - Our doorway back to the 12th Century.

[RainDog]

26. why in the fuck would a teacher's supervisor give this issue any merit?

the talibornagains make me want to puke. if there really was a god, she would have raptured them by now just to do the rest of us a favor.

[awoke_in_2003]

126. I am an atheist

but there is one part of me that wishes a rapture would occur. The average IQ of the country would double.

[tavalon]

173. You think She wants them!

I don't think so!

[FloridaJudy]

27. Why am I not surprised?

I've lived in this state for over thirty years, and The Stupid just keeps coming back, like a horror movie monster.

This must be one of our famous "Satan-free" communities.

I must add: Gainesville is that dot of blue in the red sea of North Florida. Help! I'm surrounded!

[marshall]

28. It's the Harry Potter anti-fanatics

I'm sure they've banned Rowling's books from their shelves.

[Ian David]

31. They failed their saving-throw versus stupid. n/t

[Ian David]

30. Here's a longer article

Teacher Loses Job Over Magic Trick

Web Editor: John Blunda, Associate Producer
Created: 5/5/2008 8:49:13 AM
Updated: 5/5/2008 1:26:20 PM

<snip>


"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' . Wizardry?" he asked.

Tampa Bay's 10 talked to the assistant superintendent with the Pasco County School District who said it wasn't just the wizardry and that Picular had other performance issues, including "not following lesson plans" and allowing students to play on unapproved computers."

Piculas said he knew nothing about the accusations.

"That... I think was embellished after the fact to try to cover what initially what they were saying to me," he said.


Jim Piculas was fired after making a toothpick dissapear.

More:
http://www.wcsh6.com/news/watercooler/article.aspx?storyid=86318

Imagine... a SUBSTITUTE teacher not following the lesson plan! Allowing the kids to PLAY quietly to keep them busy.... oh, the horror!

[suffragette]

87. Hmm, he does bears a resemblance to Mr. Weasley

in Harry Potter. Maybe they reacted subconsciously to that as well.







What's next - stoning? burning?

[Tyler Durden]

Fantastic comment from "greensboring.com"

"You can just feel the intelligence of the state of Florida being wizzed straight down their collective legs..."

Gawd I almost fell out of my chair.

[Orrex]

32. They'll be sorry when he summons our vile lord and master Beelzebub to settle the score

Then the thaumaturgical shit will really hit the fan.

[DAGDA56]

34. Florida is no different than any other state...just...stay off the back roads...

...really...I mean it...

[The Backlash Cometh]

53. Back roads, bedroom communities, and, oh yeah, the urban areas.

Oh, and watch out for overzealous traffic cops in the tourist areas around the beaches.

But other than that, we're cool.

[tavalon]

174. LOL

Yep, I know it. Unfortunately, I went to high school in Central Florida almost thirty years ago and they were mindnumbingly stupid then, I can't imagine how much worse it has gotten.

[Smith_3]

35. We're racing towards the middle ages at warp speed....

:eyes:

[riverdeep]

36. Well, you know what they have to do now.

Burn him!!

Seriously though, something seems off in this story. I know it's Florida, but still. The article doesn't provide any quotes from the supervisor's POV, only says the teacher said he accused him. I'd like a little more here. If this is what it seems, then God help us. Or maybe not God, since that seems to be what led them into the mess, maybe the spirit of Issac Asimov.

[Mabus]

79. Burning is so 17th Century

I'm old school. Where are the rocks?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erthun0Pauc
(From "Life of Brian", the "Have we any women here today?" scene.)

[timtom]

195. Great picture.

Sorta reminds me of the original Wicker Man...Oh, wait. They were pagans. Oh, well...

[no_hypocrisy]

38. "We have found a witch! May we burn her?!"

Who knew "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" would become a documentary?

[Fumesucker]

41. Anybody who lives among and pays attention to fundies.. n/t

[Fridays Child]

39. His photo is right next to a story titled, "Special Report: Do You Believe In Heaven?"

Words fail.

[Indenturedebtor]

44. Hah

I wonder sometimes if it's not the flouride or something... can one book really be the cause of so much stupid? :eyes:

[spanone]

42. burn him at the stake....what a fucking silly stupid world it is

[truebrit71]

43. "Wizardry"..is that even on the law books? What a stupid fucked up backwards-ass state Fl is...

...Never mind the 'Democratic Primary That Never Was'...NO-ONE in that state should be allowed to vote again until they can prove they're not a bunch of raving fucking lunatics...

[BreweryYardRat]

128. Hey! Don't discriminate against all of us just because our idiots make the news regularly!

Geez, hyperbole much?

[Lorien]

129. Maybe in the 12th century-but in your country

apparently some are still playing catch up here.

And no, I'm not a "raving fucking lunatic". I'm a lifelong Democrat, a secular humanist, and someone who worked on the front lines during every election since 2000. Don't paint all of us with the same broad brush.Gore won here in 2000 but had it stolen from him: NEVER forget that!

[tavalon]

175. True

and when I was an 18 year old going to the polls my first time, it was assumed that as a Southern Baptist I would, "just pull the Democratic lever". Of course that was before the Republicans appropriated the Dixiecrats (yes, it was about 30 years ago).

[bdamomma]

48. hey I wonder if his trick works on humans........need I say more.

[Mabus]

51. Looks like he made his job disappear too

That's just eff'ed up.

*poof* Where did the toothpick go?

*poof* Where did my job go?

I certainly hope they also discourage students from treat or treating at Halloween.

[timtom]

197. I have, from time to time, dabbled in the arcane craft

of 4 aces mysteriously appearing in the center of the deck, and other hellish feats.

Did this guy happen to reveal the method to his disappearing toothpick?

[Mabus]

202. Not to my knowledge

Otherwise the magicians would have thrown the book at him for revealing secrets.

[Prophet 451]

54. *headdesk*

Teacher does conjuring trick for children, teacher gets fired.

What a world!

[Peace Patriot]

56. Oh, good, they caught him before he started making school administrators disappear,

and their over-the-top salaries and their George-Bush-designed standardized tests! Score one for the destroyers of education and creators of robots for the corporate slave labor market! And, really, if you can make a toothpick disappear, what the frack use will you be at invading Cuba? Magicians don't make good cannon fodder!

[The Straight Story]

58. Good - he needs to keep his religion and silly tricks out of school

We have NO tolerance left for anyone - he may have made mention of something religious while doing the trick.

It could influence kids to believe in magic instead of science.

Give me some time, I can find lots of reasons why what he did was wrong, I just need to recall some other arguments I have heard around here in the past ;)

[Winterblues]

59. Let's say he was practicing wizardry, is there a Law against it?

What did he do wrong. Is there written policy against practicing "wizardry" or any Laws against it? How can he be punished? :shrug:

[Canuckistanian]

74. Jeez, he didn't expect the Inquisition n/t

[Jed Dilligan]

102. No one etc.

[tavalon]

176. No one ever does!

[Sundoggy]

60. Calling James Randi

Randi, where are you? We need you.

Oh, right. He's busy with dowsers and such.

[Ian David]

100. If he was using Wizardry, he was doing it the hard way. n/t

[ForeignSpectator]

61. That's a joke, right? After all, wizardry is the ONLY possible explanation...

...like gays for Katrina or 9/11.

:banghead:

[Liberal In Texas]

63. Sometimes it's hard to remember we're living in the 21st century, not the 14th. n/t

[tavalon]

177. You live in Texas

The same Texas I finally got away from two years ago. You are misguided if you think Texas is living in the 21st Century. Not even close.

[TexasObserver]

64. Thank God he didn't play "I got your nose" with the kids!!

Yes, I do! I've got your nose!

More nonsense from the people who brought us "creation science."

[ensho]

66. people in that part of Fl. live in a different reality - I'm not kidding

and a mean thread runs through all of it.

[peace frog]

69. AMEN to that, sister

The teacher must not be from around these parts, or he'd know better than to stir up the natives with devil-worshipping wizardry.
And yes, not a joke.

[tavalon]

178. Correct!

You, OTOH, live in a most fabulous part of Florida! I love Key West!

[Kermitt Gribble]

194. You're absolutely right!

I travel to Pasco and Polk counties for work sometimes and feel freaked out every time!

[populistdriven]

67. These people are voters!

:scared:

[didact]

70. I'll throw in the obligatory....BURN HIM!

[spanone]

71. Breaking: david blaine seen leaving country.

[Blue_Tires]

76. i bet they wouldn't have complained if he pulled quarters out of students' ears!

[krispos42]

77. Ah, nice to see years of Republican public-school-funding-cuts working so well

Question for the fundies there...


Why didn't God just SMITE him right there?

[Snarkturian Clone]

80. ROFLcopter!!!

http://pichaus.com/apocalypse-roflcopter-rofl-helichopters-bgv!l@.png

"Why did you get fired from your previous job?"

"I practiced wizardry!!! Ooga Booga!!"

[ismnotwasm]

81. Wonder what they would have done

If he made a vinegar and baking soda "volcano? Toss him in the lake to see if he floated?

[Marrah_G]

83. I predict a large amount of money coming in this man's future!

[tavalon]

179. Oh, I do hope he sues and wins

Call it a stupidity tax on the school board.

[Maine-ah]

84. trial by water!

burn 'em at the stake!!!!!

holy shit. I'm roflmao! :rofl:

[intheflow]

85. Expect the stake burnings to commence soon.

Forget about whether or not these people have ever heard of parlor magic tricks, have they ever heard of the Salem wiitch trials? This could only happen in George Bush's Amerika. :grr:

[MindPilot]

88. This is one of those times I feel like I'm stuck on this planet by mistake

What if the guy had done some serious illusions like the Time Warp, Cigarette-thru-the-Quarter, or Zombie Ball?

Missing a good opportunity to teach kids some critical thinking skills, administrators step back to the dark ages. :eyes:

[Bombero1956]

90. the biggest wizard of all is in Washington

he's made a half trillion dollars disappear along with 4,071 of our sons and daughters. Bet nobody in Florida is upset with that, stupid morans!!

[Wizard777]

93. I can can assure you that was not Wizardry. It was prestidigitation.

We'll not have any part of that. It's an art of the Druj based in deception.

[rucky]

124. We have expert testimony, ladies and gents!

Bona-Fide Wizard: right here on the DU!

:yourock:

[polticalpout]

94. Time to see if he floats...

if he does he is a witch, if he sinks then the family can feel better knowing that in his death he was a good christian.

[LongTomH]

97. Send this to your favorite bloggers.

I forwarded it to the Bad Astrononmy blog, The Scientific Activist, and Dispatches from the Culture Wars.

[baldguy]

101. They don't call it Flori-DUH for nothing.

[Jed Dilligan]

103. Can the computer teacher be fired for computer wizardry?

[notadmblnd]

105. Well I guess David copperfield won't be getting any shows in Land O lakes Fla.

[mnmoderatedem]

106. yeah, plus he turned me into a NEWT

...I got better....

[Dr Fate]

108. What burns better than witches?

MORE WITCHES!!!

[galledgoblin]

190. ...*scratches head*

...w-wood?

[RamboLiberal]

107. Jonathan Turley: Townspeople Hunt Down the Wizard of Land O’ Lakes

This week, the good town of Land O’ Lakes, Florida is free of the scourge of a wizard. While such hunt were once led by pitchfork carrying townsfolk, this important civic action was taken by concerned parents who discovered the magical tendencies of substitute teacher (and fulltime wizard) Jim Piculas in Pasco County School District.

Piculas inadvertently disclosed his dark secret in a class when he showed children how he could make a toothpick disappear and reappear at a middle school. It proved the toothpick that broke the wizard’s back. The District supervisor of substitute teachers (and hunter of wizards) Pat Sinclair, who oversees substitute teachers in the Pasco County School District, called Piculas to tell him that he was fired, explaining “You’ve been accused of wizardry.”

Piculas insisted “It’s not black magic. It’s a toothpick.” Of course, that is what all the dark wizards say. Lord Voldemort started as a substitute teacher with a napkin trick. If the good townsfolk had not acted, Death Eaters would have teaching Gym and science classes. The question is how the people at the Improper Use of Magic Office missed his wizard disguised as a muggle teacher. Piculas is expected now to pulled before the Pasco County School District Wizengamot and sent to Azkaban prison.

http://jonathanturley.org/2008/05/06/townspeople-hunt-down-the-wizard-of-land-o-lakes/

Love to see KO(who's a Harry Potter fan) and Turley discuss this case. Hope it gets to Jon Stewart as well or Colbert!

[Dr Fate]

109. Thank God he didnt mix baking soda with vinegar. n/t

n/t

[lonestarnot]

111. Or cokes and mentos!

[Bozita]

110. And today is *trumpet intro* ... "Teacher Appreciation Day" -- No shit!

You can't make this stuff up.

[Bozita]

147. "Teacher Appreciation Day" -- No shit! ... This is a totally self-serving kick

[Manifestor_of_Light]

114. He needs to find a prestidigious law firm.

Preferably one connected with the ACLU.

[Hekate]

132. I do believe you mean a "prestidigitatious" law firm. Maybe David Copperfield will testify. nt

[Manifestor_of_Light]

212. Something like that.

Maybe they use prestidigitation to sneak money out of their clients' wallets.
:D

[HuffleClaw]

116. "He turned me into a newt! ...

...I got better."

[Lone_Star_Dem]

117. I suspected my Uncle Roger was a wizard.

He used to do the toothpick "trick" and the disappearing quarter "trick" all the time. He also used to change one playing card into another. When Aunti Clair disappeared when I was 4 I was sure he'd had a hand in it. I never bought the excuse that she'd moved to another city and wouldn't be living with my Uncle Roger anymore. Nope. I didn't believe that for a second. I KNEW what had happened to Auntie Clair. He'd turned her into the little Chihuahua puppy he mysteriously showed up with after she was gone.

Or course I was 4 years-old and didn't understand what a divorce was yet, not an adult head supervisor of substitute teachers for a school district.

[SCBeeland]

131. Sometimes I feel like that toothpick has a higher I.Q. than the entire Southeastern U.S.

And the best part is the "Jim, we have a huge issue."

Crap like this makes it very hard to me to have joyful day.

[Hekate]

133. Ow, ow, ow. My head hurts. nt

[Dukkha]

134. so if someone fails a test in his class...

YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!!!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

135. One can only imagine what'd happen

If he pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

This is criminally insane behavior.

[Initech]

136. Illusion!!! A trick is what a whore does for money.

Or cocaine!

But seriously, are the people of Florida really that fucking stupid? :banghead:

[timtom]

198. Yes. We all are.

And, just like Chinese astrology, everyone born in the year of the horse is exactly alike and, thus, predictable.

I applaud the depth and originality of your understanding.

[Initech]

201. I'm not saying everyone in Florida is stupid.

If I had to ballpark, I'd say at least 60 - 70% are.

[vixengrl]

137. Sooo, the very special Penn & Teller assembly show

would be a "No," right?

[AnnieBW]

138. Harry Dresden Sure Gets Around!

Last I heard, he was in Chicago! :D

[LWolf]

139. Wizardry.

:wow:

If they fired every sub who didn't follow lesson plans, or who let the kids do things they are not allowed to do when their teacher was there, we'd lose more subs than we'd keep.

I had a sub today, while I spent the day at the D.O..

I wonder if my kids were turned into toads while I was gone? That seems to be a frequent occurrence, as well. They mysteriously turn back into princes and princesses when I return.

[Bozita]

140. THAT is wizardry!

Happy Teacher Appreciation Day, LWolf.

You've just gotten appreciated.

[LWolf]

142. Why, thank you!

:hi:

[Sam Ervin jret]

141. I just totally give up on Florida. I have had it. Can you kick a state out of the union?

[underscorer]

145. Sounds like middle-ages stuff

Unbelievable.

[BobTheSubgenius]

146. There is only one sensible response.

Trial by fire!

[tomg]

150. And if he doesn't confess

they can always waterboard him. This country is turning into a Medieval Theme Park.

[Senator]

152. This Can Only Mean ... The Comfy Chair

Nobody expected ... The Spanish (Class) Inquisition.

--

[Ian_rd]

153. He has a chance to prove he's innocent. We'll try to drown him!

If he survives that means he used wizardry and he shall therefore be burned. If he drowns that means he's not a wizard after all and it was all our bad. Praise Republican Jesus!

[LeftCoast]

155. Any school run by people that stupid should not be allowed to operate.

What more can I say?

[Ilsa]

205. Yep. People running the school should have their own

state exams for to rule out outrageous stupidity.

[tavalon]

157. Oh, great Goddess!

Those people are just too stupid to live. How have you made such stupid people and how, oh, how do they remember to breathe?:shrug:

[maxpower]

163. This has got to be a joke

The dark ages are back.

[GOPBasher]

166. Hey, what would you expect here in 1608?

Oh, wait, it's 2008? Ok, yeah, that's somce pretty motherfucking crazy shit.

[J R]

168. I just got off the phone with Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes

The woman who answered put me on hold for 10 minutes and then hung up on me. When I called back she answered again, got a bad attitude and hung up on me again. I was VERY polite, even cordial the entire time. I'm of the opinion that this is as bad as it sounds: Someone was effectively fired based on ignorance and religious intolerance. Call [phone].

[datasuspect]

170. He hath maide a foule, intemperate Beast of himfelf

whereupon this Rogue Wizard, thee very Tool of his Master, Satan, thence shoulde he be confined to the flames of Hell for all of eternity!

[tavalon]

180. I have sent this forward so that more may know

just how stupid people can be.

[FlaGranny]

182. On yesterday's news I heard that

there is a group pushing for Florida to be divided into 2 states, north and south. Not such a bad idea. I hope the dividing line is north of where I live. I think it should be 3 states - North Florida, South Florida, and Dade Florida.

[yardwork]

186. Um, what is going on in Florida, anyway?

[Locrian]

187. related news...

In related news, teacher recently hired at famous school. New teacher is an expert at tooth-pick disappearing wizardry.

[lovuian]

188. Whats next is he going to be burned at the stake next

Absolutely crazy ...

[rocktivity]

200. What is wizardry? And is it legal?

:crazy:
rocknation

[TexasObserver]

203. What next? "Man pulls coin from behind grandchild's ear. Children's Protective Services to review."

when you're dealing with people who think the world is 6000 years old ....

[Fox Mulder]

204. Looks like Florida is still stuck in the Middle Ages.

[Hekate]

207. Carl Hiaasen must have the most amazing clip-file of true stories....

I used to think he made up all the craziness that goes on in his Florida novels...

Hekate

[old mark]

208. Good thing no one got hurt...

...he coulde have been charged with First Degree Wizardry, a felony in Florida.
Maybe he will get smart and move elsewhere.

Remember, these people helped elect President Bush!

mark

Does Wizardry have to do with wisdom? No wonder it's illegal.

[Outraged As Usual]

210. There is a reason people believe...

There are three people right now who use abilities beyond the natural ( or known natural ) to affect reality: Criss Angel, David Blaine, and Cyril Takayama. Criss Angel has the most ability of the three right now, and he can levitate and teleport without using props and without camera editing or witness tampering. Laughing now? Go to You tube and watch the golf course levitation or the Luxor Hotel levitation by Angel to see the real deal.

Criss Angel can levitate at height and does so in full daylight and many witnesses, with not ONE bit of evidence whatsoever that proves any props were used. I have been involved in a lengthy debate online about this for some time and the opposition has produced ZERO proof that certain events were done using props or tricks. YES, there are illusions..and then there are real events that most people ASSUME must be done with props even though no one ever replicates them or shows WITH props how it could be done. I challenge you to dig a little deeper into this and see the truth: People in this day and age know that there are some things that cannot be explained away conventionally and a few of those people are afraid of what it means, and react stupidly, as in this case.

If you believe that all events must somehow be rigged even though no proof of such exists you need to take a closer look. If all it takes is money and props, why has no one ever topped Criss Angel in all these years? not one human being has ever even come close to the most sincere form of flattery, imitation, because Criss does NOT use props in certain high levitations and teleportations. Study the subject before assuming anything and see that humans can and do ' violate ' the natural ' laws'!!

[Hekate]

211. Ahh, but is this real toothpick wizardry? Hmmm?

Got you on that one! It's not the real-deal firing offense unless it involves toothpicks!

Hekate

[malletgirl02]

213. "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition"

What's next auto de fes?

[Goodnevil]

214. I think it's time to saddle up and invade

Florida. They've caused enough trouble. Time to regulate.

[Bluebear]

215. TAINTED!!! GARGOYLES!!!11 DARK-SIDED!!!! NOT CHRISTIAN!!!!!!111

[Manifestor_of_Light]

217. That's "Gaaar-Gyles", you sinner!!!

AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!! <runs off screaming>

[New Dawn]

216. LOL, stupid hicks.

Damn.