A Message From Jesus

[Ghost in the Machine]

Hello My Children,

I am sad to inform you that the Rapture has been cancelled due to astronomical energy prices. I will inform you if and/or when we decide to revive this project.

Let it also be noted that you, as a Human Race, are not ready to ascend yet. You have a long way to go towards Love and Acceptance of ALL your fellow Human Beings... you need more Peace, Love & Understanding.

Oh, yeah... Please stop doing things in My Name which are dishonorable and disgraceful to Me.

Thanks

PEACE & LOVE

Jesus

[The Straight Story]

1. Actually, the rapture already went down - he didn't find anyone worth taking

:rofl:

[Ghost in the Machine]

5. Nooo, the Rapture *didn't* happen... there's still fuzzy baby kitties on earth

All the kitties would be gone in the case of Rapture.. and puppies.... and innocent babies...

The *rest* of us douchebags? Naw, we'd be left behind...

[hyphenate]

7. Agreed!

All the innocents will go before the rest of us. And I don't find that distressing at all!

[But....]

2. Two words....

Bumper sticker!:bounce:

[mcctatas]

3. These asshats didn't get the memo...

01 False Christs
A gentleman in Florida has made news by claiming to
be Christ.
02 Occult:
There has been two major news events involving witchcraft
and murder.
04 Unemployment:
The latest figures show a deteriorating job market.
05 Inflation:
(the top 5 indicators of the coming apocalypse are whackadoodles in FL, witches, unemployment and inflation???) :rofl:

[Ghost in the Machine]

4. Morning kick

... on my way out the door..

:kick:

[annabanana]

6. Another message from Jesus: