John McCain is soooo old (how old is he?). He's so old......

[NightWatcher]

... many people remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, he remembers where he was when Jesus was crucified.

[gateley]

1. Even the mice are hunchback!

:shrug:

[lame54]

2. He's so old...

He was playing shuffleboard at the time

[Poiuyt]

3. He's so old

that his high school portrait is painted on a cave wall in France.

[Earth Bound Misfit]

4. He's so old...

his SS# is 2.

[Earth Bound Misfit]

5. He's so old...

when he first started using it, they called it NEW SPICE.

[DavidDvorkin]

20. Best one so far!

[Donkeykick]

6. He's so old that...

he can't remeber whether or not he said that he would negotiate with Hamas.

[malaise]

7. He's so old he wears cloth diapers and not

Undependables.

[Cirque du So-What]

8. McNasty is soooo old...

that he used to beat up Yoda and take his lunch money.

[WindRiverMan]

9. He's so old

he used to babysit God.

[Earth Bound Misfit]

10. He's so old...

he owes Fred Flintstone five bucks...
he knew the Burger King when he was a Prince...
he was using Nancy Regan for support.

[Ian David]

11. He's so old, that he disproves "Young Earth Creationism." n/t

[ColbertWatcher]

22. Zing! Thread over! n/t

[Hubert Flottz]

12. His Mommy once let him stay up all night and watch...

"The Big Bang" live...

[L. Coyote]

14. Ding, Ding, we have a winner.

Damn, and I was gonna give it a try with this religious right pun:

"He remembers when immaculate conception was just a theory!"

[Hubert Flottz]

17. "immaculate conception was just a theory!"

He so old, that he thought the immaculate conception had something to do with Raider Football!

Jon probably still thinks so too...'bout as bright as the Dense Prince Dumbya!

[Harry Monroe]

67. Uh, wouldn't that be under "He's so dumb"?

The "Immaculate Reception" happened on Dec. 23, 1972 on the final play in a playoff game between the Steelers and the Raiders. I was 10 years old then, and I'm not that old!!

One of the greatest and most improbable finishes in NFL history.

[NightWatcher]

16. Hey OOOOO

You Are Correct

[malaise]

18. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

DUzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

[Earth Bound Misfit]

31. We have a WINNER!! n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

34. "You are corect sir!! Huhhuh"

"Sim sala bim"

[Hubert Flottz]

79. Like Dumbya was probably always the quickest to say...

"oh wah ta goo siam"

Quickest maybe, but not ever the swiftest or strongest!

And I truly believe that Jon McSOS might even be a worse pResident than the dim one has proven to be, if given the chance...that's the part that ain't so funny.

More Stone Age Diplomacy, at best, I predict!

[Ian David]

13. McCain is so old, that a pair of his socks became separated by continental drift. n/t

[Ian David]

15. McCain is so old, that when Arno Penzias & Robert Wilson first played recordings of The Big Bang...

... McCain's first thought was, "Mamma?"

[Kokonoe]

19. He's so old

He was born before plastic was invented.(not kidding)

[Beregond2]

21. He first ran for office as a member of the Whig Party.

[Earth Bound Misfit]

30. He wasn't a Whig--he was a Tory n/t

[Ian David]

23. McCain is so old, that he sold flint knives at his last garage sale. n/t

[ColbertWatcher]

24. McLobby is so old...

...Barbara Bush calls him grandpa.

[malaise]

42. Another DUzy

:rofl:

[ColbertWatcher]

45. DISCLAIMER: I didn't make the pic, Destonio did. n/t

[Ian David]

25. McCain is so old, that the first job listed on his resume is "hunter / gatherer." n/t

[Ian David]

26. McCain is so old, that he won't drive through a tunnel unless he checks it for saber-tooth tigers.

[Ian David]

27. McCain is so old, that he sacrifices a virgin every time there's an eclipse. n/t

[ColbertWatcher]

28. McCain is so old, he had an uncle who crawled out of the sea...

...the family doesn't talk about him.

(EDIT FOR grammar)

[hasssan1]

29. this old

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

32. he's so old, his first navy duty was on noah's ark..

[ColbertWatcher]

40. Another winner! n/t

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## DON'T DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1
==================



This week is our second quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Whatever you do, do not click the link below!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

35. He's so old

He used to teach at Gondwanaland Tech.

Ayyyyyyyyyy

[malaise]

43. He's so old that he broke

Moses' tablets.

[VP505]

36. McSame is so old...

He planted the Redwoods at Big Sur Calif.

[krispos42]

37. He remembers the first time the Earth cooled!

"When I was your age, the Earth was still a molten blob of rock!"

:rofl:


"When I was your age, we didn't have a moon! All we had were Jurassic fireflies! And they were the size of cats, not the wussy ones we had to day! We had to catch them in a net and hang it from a tree when we wanted light at night!"



John McCain is so old his parents died at the Chicxulub crater when it was formed!


John McCain is so old he used to herd triceretopses!

[Berry Cool]

38. John McCain is so old

his first pet was a trilobite.

[Angleae]

39. He still has the receipt

from God for a bunch of dirt

[ColbertWatcher]

41. McLobby is so old...

...he wore an onion on his belt, which was the style at the time.



We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I took the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you'd say. Now where were we, oh yeah...the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[Stinky The Clown]

44. He is so old **and** was so poor, he sold the apple to the serpent in Eden.

He did that after failing to talk Adam out of giving up his rib.

[ColbertWatcher]

46. McLobby is so old, Judas contributed to his first campaign. n/t

[Divernan]

47. McCain is so old, he never buys green bananas.

I know an 80 year old who says this about himself.

[Unrepentant Fenian]

48. McCain is so old that Eve dumped him for Adam....

McCain is so old that Eve dumped him for Adam.... And that is why there is no mention of Adam and Steve in the bible!

[Unrepentant Fenian]

49. WHAT THE FUCK ????

WHAT THE FUCK ???? Is this "Do Not Donate to D.U." How about changing it to DOES NOT BELONG TO DU ANYMORE. Please drop my membership, this avatar switching to guilt people into donating is BULLSHIT!

[AwakeAtLast]

50. Um, it's a fund drive - we have them quarterly - and our Admins are using their sense of humor

of which you seem to have none. I would suggest you find Skinners thread on the subject, but I doubt you would find it amusing.

[Name removed]

52. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[asdjrocky]

55. Well bless your heart.

[Richard Steele]

64. Be a MAN and clear your own account, big talker.

nm

[AwakeAtLast]

76. Congratulations! Four years on DU and you're the first person to curse at me.

I would give you a medal, but I'm fresh out. x(

Are you gonna tell me to get off your lawn now?

[struggle4progress]

63. I'm pretty sure that's happening to everybody's avatar

[Hekate]

73. It happened to my avatar earlier today (or yesterday), & last time I looked my star was still there

My year isn't up until August

Hekate

[AwakeAtLast]

51. His first stump speech was in the Coliseum.

:D

[SeattleGirl]

53. McLame is so old.....

...he was in his 60's when God was a little boy.

[asdjrocky]

54. McLame is so old he didn't have school books...

He had school tablets.

[Initech]

56. McCain is so old, he remembers when Julius Caesar was killed by his own senate.

[L. Coyote]

57. Someone alert Letterman, so he can send DU a check for all this material!!

[struggle4progress]

58. He's so old that ... he fondly remembers the Hundred Years War

[ColbertWatcher]

60. Niiiiice! n/t

[alfredo]

59. He gave Moses a wedgie.

[ColbertWatcher]

61. McLobby is so old...

...he dated http://archaeology.about.com/od/lterms/g/lucy.htm">Lucy...

...his dad had a tail...

...he was a witness at the murder trial of Oetzi, the Iceman!

[stewie502]

62. he's so old...

his social security number is 1! lol :)

[sutz12]

65. McCain is so old...

his first car ran on "yaba-daba-doo!"

[daleo]

66. He watched the Big Bang

And said dismissively "I've seen bigger big bangs than that".

[TheCentepedeShoes]

68. McLame is so old

his first military duty was in the Trojan War.

[Zynx]

69. He spat when he heard Washington's warning of getting involved in foreign wars.

[Swamp Rat]

70. McLame is batshit insane

out to pasture.

[VotesForWomen]

71. you're really embarassing the democratic party and losing us support with the lame ageist stuff.

[Hekate]

72. Bitter 60 yo white women for ageist McCain jokes! LOL

Some of these are actually funny, and the one about the Hundred Years' War is quite to the point, given McCain's flip-flop over how long he thinks we'll be protecting the Empire's outposts in Iraq.

Humor is subversive and sometimes devastating. Laughing at McCain can be an effective tool in our fight to get voters to see him as not presidential material in 2008.

Sharpen the swords of satire!

Hekate

P.S. I am referring to myself in the subject line, in case you didn't get it.

[DFW]

74. McCain owns fossils of animals that used to be his house pets

oops--for that matter, I think I do too.............

[Earth Bound Misfit]

75. Mc Lame is so old, he remembers Larry King's first wife n/t

[Perry Logan]

77. Thanks to the Obamites, we'll be able to tell these jokes for the next eight years.

[meow2u3]

78. He was around when Methuselah was born

:rofl:

[annabanana]

80. Older than Cheerios (see the link)

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?p=77

[annabanana]

81. Older than The Grapes of Wrath.(see the link)

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?p=83

[annabanana]

82. Older than The Shopping Cart.. (see the link)

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?p=89

[annabanana]

83. Older than The Area Code.(see the link)

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?p=100

[annabanana]

84. Older than The Lincoln Tunnel..(see the link)

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?p=115

[El Pinko]

85. He's so old...

he farts dust.

He's so old, he thinks he has to sit REEEEAAAALLLLY still for photos.

[pepperbear]

86. please delete

no pic :(

[Wiley50]

87. McSame Is NOT So Old. He Can Still Eat Corn On The Cob

if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste

"Now That's Good Eatin" "


(Thanx to Shephanie Miller and the Mooks)