Nation's Poorest 1% Now Controls Two-Thirds Of U.S. Soda Can Wealth

[hack89]

Funny but sad at the same time.

WASHINGTON—A report on growing disparities in the concentration of U.S. aluminum-can wealth, released Tuesday by the Department of Commerce, revealed that 66 percent of the nation's recyclable assets are now held by the poorest 1 percent of the population.

According to the sobering report, the disproportionate distribution of soda-can wealth is greater than ever before, and has become one of the worst instances of economic inequality in the nation's history. Data showed that over-salvaging of cans by a small and elite group of can-hoarders has created a steadily growing and possibly unbridgeable gap between the rich and the mega-poor.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_poorest_1_now_controls_two

[w4rma]

1. Satire. (nt)

[hack89]

2. You think?

of course, nowadays, the Onion is uncomfortably close to the truth.

[Blue Belle]

6. Yes... but you have to label it as satire...

or some people here will take it as the truth... and, sadly, it isn't far from being the truth.

[Burma Jones]

7. Getting harder to tell the difference every day......

[undeterred]

3. Diversify

"Members of this exclusive group come from exceedingly poor backgrounds and have access to outrageously low levels of education, which makes them much better prepared to reap the benefits of digging around in garbage," Pierce added.

The report details several key factors involved in the lopsided distribution of container wealth, including aggressive foraging, which leads to higher returns on deposits and a tendency to reinvest can profits in additional redeemables, such as beer. In addition, the report found that those involved in the returnable-gathering industry often minimize financial risk by diversifying between aluminum cans and glass-bottle holdings.

[Lasher]

4. Let's give them twice as many cans.

Then some of the cans will trickle up to the disadvantaged rich people.

[jedr]

5. Brilliant;

The trickle up poverty theory.