***DUzy Awards for week ending May 23, 2008***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri May-23-08 04:48 PM
Original message

Welcome to the light-hitting, smooth-fielding DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to KitchenWitch, unhappycamper, Bluebear, Kukesa, gateley, JoeIsOneOfUs, hootinholler, grantcart, 48percenter, devilgrrl, Rhiannon12866, mythyc, stellanoir, Mind_your_head, blondeatlast, babylonsister, ThinkBlue1966, chimpsrsmarter, Bleachers7, The Straight Story, WilliamPitt, rosesaylavee, Breeze54, oktoberain, gateley, eridani, cbayer and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

Poll question by Amerigo Vespucci:

GREATEST Flintstones character OTHER than Fred, Barney, Wilma or Betty

:bluebox: Pebbles

:bluebox: Bam Bam

:bluebox: Ann Margrock

:bluebox: Dash Riprock

:bluebox: The Great Gazoo

:bluebox: Dino

:bluebox: Mr. Slate

:bluebox: The Frankenstones

:bluebox: ALL of the above

:bluebox: Other

response #2 by KamaAina:

Other: John McCain
:evilgrin:

At press time, "Dino" was winning with 39% of the votes. The correct answer, of course, is Leftfoot Charlie.

The Lounge, May 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7741649

OP by malaise:

      Breaking on GEM$NBC : Small earthquake in Alabama
Maybe Don Siegelman has those criminal repukes shaking in their collective boots. :D

response #13 by alfredo:

      Near Elvis' birthplace. Maybe he is ready to return to judge us.

response #16 by merh:

      That could be it
maybe he's all shook up :silly:

response #18 by alfredo:

      All I ask is "Don't Be Cruel."

response #19 by merh:

      You and your
Suspicious mind ...

response #56 by Buns_of_Fire:

      Nah. It was just a hunka hunka movin' earth...
(I am SO going to spend a couple of millennia in purgatory for saying that.)

response #12 by IanDB1:

      I've heard Republicans can sense an earthquake before humans do. n/t

GD, May 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3297422

OP by Rosemary2205:

      What in sam hell is WRONG with people?
They just really need to scrap the car names and come up with the "Battering Ram", "Bulldozer", "Aggressor", "Intimidator". Bejesus people, ping ponging through 6 lanes of 70mph traffic at 90MPH and running up on people until you are a foot from the bumper is just idiotic. Get home 40 seconds later already.

:rant:

response #1 by alfredo:

      That was you? Sorry

response #7 by anotheryellowdog:

      My advice? Hit the brakes!
They'll die never knowing what they ran into. I've done it, and it got me killed (and yes, the satisfaction was worth it!). I'm writing this now from the Far Side.

response #13 by warren pease:

      Well, I kind of like my...
... brand new 2008 GlutcoWerks SuperSecs V-16 AutoErotix All-Terrain Aggressivo 4-MPG Combo SUV/Armored Troop Carrier with optional pivoting mini-cannon.

In fact, you'll have to pry the steering wheel out of my cold dead hands if you think I'm going to stop terrorizing my fellow motorists at every opportunity.

wp

And for the irony challenged:

:sarcasm:

response #15 by Donnachaidh:

      ahh -- a typical day on the i-75 in Atlanta!
I used to think Los Angeles drivers were rude and aggressive, but Atlanta drivers have them beat. If they are not ping-ponging across lanes, they are riding people's bumpers trying to force them to go faster - even if the car in front is already doing 20 miles over the speed limit.

And NOW we have the law that allows people to carry concealed weapons! Hot DAMN -- I cannot wait to hear Sonny's explanation of what went wrong after the first bumper-riding hothead decides he'll get them slowpokes moving faster by firing his gun across the ass-end of the car in front. :sarcasm:

GD, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3299797

OP by NightWatcher:

      John McCain is soooo old (how old is he?). He's so old......
... many people remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, he remembers where he was when Jesus was crucified.

response #3 by Poiuyt:

      He's so old
that his high school portrait is painted on a cave wall in France.

response #4 by Earth Bound Misfit:

      He's so old...
his SS# is 2.

response #5 by Earth Bound Misfit:

      He's so old...
when he first started using it, they called it NEW SPICE.

response #11 by IanDB1:

      He's so old, that he disproves "Young Earth Creationism." n/t

response #12 by Hubert Flottz:

      His Mommy once let him stay up all night and watch...
"The Big Bang" live...

response #14 by L. Coyote:

      Ding, Ding, we have a winner.
Damn, and I was gonna give it a try with this religious right pun:

"He remembers when immaculate conception was just a theory!"

response #13 by IanDB1:

      McCain is so old, that a pair of his socks became separated by continental drift. n/t

response #25 by IanDB1:

      McCain is so old, that the first job listed on his resume is "hunter / gatherer." n/t

response #27 by IanDB1:

      McCain is so old, that he sacrifices a virgin every time there's an eclipse. n/t

response #28 by ColbertWatcher:

      McCain is so old, he had an uncle who crawled out of the sea...
...the family doesn't talk about him.

response #32 by GreatCaesarsGhost:

      he's so old, his first navy duty was on noah's ark..

response #35 by SalmonChantedEvening:

      He's so old
He used to teach at Gondwanaland Tech.

Ayyyyyyyyyy

response #58 by struggle4progress:

      He's so old that ... he fondly remembers the Hundred Years War

response #75 by Earth Bound Misfit:

      Mc Lame is so old, he remembers Larry King's first wife n/t

And see below for two Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3302153

On a thread by KitchenWitch:

      Vanity plate I saw today - "LES GOVT"
:banghead:

It was on a HUGH!!!11 Lexus.

response #3 by LeftyMom:

      In one of life's little ironies, that person paid the state way extra for the vanity plate.
:rofl:

response #5 by harmonicon:

      exactly what I was thinking
If they really don't like government, why get plates at all? "I think the federal government should only exist to provide a military, and to keep women from being equal to men, but that's it! oh, yeah... and license plates. And roads. Ok, Military, keeping women down, license plates, and roads, but that's it....." it could go on forever.

response #6 by Gormy Cuss:

      Someone didn't get the memo.
"Les govt" sure looks French to me.

response #7 by Ellen Forradalom:

      Is Les Govt like lèse majesté? nt

response #8 by KitchenWitch:

      It is not French... It is FREEDOM
:eyes:

:hi:

response #11 by MrScorpio:

      He feels he's entitled to bitch about the govt. by paying an inflated cost for his plates
"Here, government. Here's more of my precious money. Oh and by the way, I hate you."

And they call these people "the adults"?

Yeah, right

response #15 by Orrex:

      Like buying all of that French wine and dumping it in the sewer
"This'll really show 'em that we won't pay to drink their surrender-juice. We'll just pay to dump it."

A brilliant boycott!

response #13 by Frank Cannon:

      I would have waved the guy down and complimented his "lesbian govt" plate
Then when he said that it actually meant "less government", I would have acted shocked and told him that pretty much everyone will think he's promoting "lesbian government".

response #16 by LaraMN:

      'Les Go Vote!
Well, it COULD be!

response #18 by nomad1776:

      Then Lester Goventry returned to his car and wondered about the woman
pointing at his license plate.

The Lounge, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7743071

On a thread by Bluebear:

Pope says charism of consecrated virgins can help ALL PEOPLE.
"While the rest of the world may think chastity is something 'unintelligible and useless,' the order of consecrated virgins is a charism that can be fruitful and beneficial to all people, Pope Benedict XVI said...

Consecrated by her local bishop, a consecrated virgin makes a promise of perpetual virginity, prayer and service to the church while living independently in society..."

response #7 by Vickers:

They ain't helpin' *me* none.
:P

GD, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3300217

On a thread by hyphenate:

      The Rapture is coming!

response #1 by squawk7700:

      If religion is the opiate of the masses, this rapture stuff is their crystal meth.

response #25 by Jamastiene:

      If you don't believe in the Rapture, yer goin' ta Hell.
I know. I had it drilled into my head in that Christian School I went to all the way from kindergarten until 6th grade. Halfway through 6th grade, my momma Raptured me from that school, because I started acting as bad as I possibly could. Anything to get expelled or beaten some more or suspended. Anything.

Of course, with that school, it didn't take much to get punished at all. A picture of Deborah Harry earned me a beating. No, not THAT. It was merely sitting in my locker and the principal/preacher saw it.

Next thing I knew, I was getting beaten.

I can't fucking wait until those fuckers get carried off. I'll be drinking the biggest box of wine I can find and partying my ass off. And this time, I am old enough to KNOW WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO with a picture of Deborah Harry. :evilgrin:

response #12 by spanone:

      tonight? the banks aren't open

GD, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3303323

OP by Writer:

      Hello. I've been gone for the day. Have we all reached a consensus yet?
I mean, I can't dwell in a world where there's so much disagreement. It makes me weepy.

response #1 by Starbucks Anarchist:

      We decided on pepperoni.
Too bad someone lost an eye over it.

response #13 by Solon:

      No agreement yet, and I'm still an asshole to both candidate's supporters...
I give them just what they deserve. :evilgrin:

GDP, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6013487

On a thread by grantcart:

**Sunday Delegate Update Thread ** Magic Number starts at 115 and 14.5 for Pelosi
In another unusual move Clinton loses another pledged delegate...

response #2 by kenny blankenship:

"In another unusual move Clinton loses another pledged delegate"
She's just getting down to her fighting weight.

GDP, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6014809

OP by 48percenter:

He never got to taste his pizza! LOL, another one bites the dust...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=6018377&mesg_id=6018377

Damn, MODS!! You are too quick, I was waiting outside the door.

GDP, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6018578

OP by SoFlaJet:

      To All The Detainees I Just Released From My Ignore List
I say hello and I hope the "accommodations" at my own personal Gitmo weren't too bad, and may I say that you all looked kicking in those orange jumpsuits. Oh yea one more thing PEACE to all my fellow democrats

response #1 by Gidney N Cloyd:

      I was expecting a new suit, a bus ticket and $20. nt

response #2 by SoFlaJet:

      you weren't in there Gid
we have had budgetary problems and the voters would only release funding for 10 at a time...but hey...keep it up MFer and you are so in there

response #3 by BlueJazz:

      I didn't mind it very much.. BUT.....
..The weekly "Sliding down the Razor Blade" on my butt got rather old.... :)

response #5 by billyoc:

      Free at last!!
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

GDP, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6017721

Poll question by MrScorpio:

Rick Astley is Never Gonna...
(Choose one)

:bluebox: Give you up

:bluebox: Let you Down

:bluebox: Run You Around and Desert You

:bluebox: Make you Cry

:bluebox: Say Goodbye

:bluebox: Tell a Lie and Hurt You

:bluebox: All the above

:bluebox: Replace Robb as Official Dingbat

:bluebox: Steal all your money and run off with your best friend

:bluebox: Other

At press time, "Steal all your money and run off with your best friend" was winning with 56% of the votes.

The Lounge, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7745632

OP by DerekJ:

      Who wants to start a business with me? Starbucks in Oregon. With all those latte drinking liberals
we'll make a killing.

Right beside it I'll open a Birkenstock shop, and a Volvo dealer. I'm going to be a millionaire.

:woohoo:

response #1 by IanDB1:

      What about a drive-thru gay marriage abortion medical marijuana shop? n/t

response #9 by Oregonian:

      Hemp. Hemp-flavored lattes. There's your hook, right there.
:thumbsup:

response #13 by K Gardner:

      I'm starting an Arugula Farm and Orange Juice Stand, next to a basketball court.

GDP, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6021490

On a thread by KC2:

What is the most challenging thing you've ever done?

response #95 by NewJeffCT:

I've posted in GD: P several times and survived
with my sanity relatively intact.

The Lounge, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7746648

On a thread by Steve_DeShazer:

      Freepers react: Portland = Nuremburg
"This is one reason I shake in my boots....AMERICANS have been bamboozled by a TERRORIST LOVING MUSLIM!! There is no way McNUT can win against this evil man. WE ARE COOKED! The Obamessiah will be OUR next president. GOD HELP US! Never seeing anything like this only in text books during Hitler's reign!

Kind of like one of Hitler’s early rallies stirring up the masses. Both are (or were) so charismatic don’t ya know and both are just as destructive."

response #1 by mathewsleep:

      wow,..
mathewsleep = speechless

response #17 by Duder:

      I liked the second quote...
"WE ARE COOKED!"

Bet they taste like chicken. :)

response #24 by ekwhite:

      I wouldn't eat any of it
It could give you Mad Freeper disease.

response #52 by zidzi:

      How many Blacks did they see in
the Portland crowd? :silly:

response #54 by anigbrowl:

      They're everywhere. There was even one on the stage!

response #63 by sniffa:

      As I've said time and again, Obama is just like Hitler
Just like Hitler.

:eyes:

GDP, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6022766

On a thread by Husb2Sparkly:

      Do you choose not to do business with companies with religious overtones simply because of *that*?
We needed a particular service that one might need only every few years ... if ever. We asked a knowledgeable person for a list of trusted companies. We called.

The first one answered the phone with some typical business greeting followed, without missing a beat, by some very overt reference to service to the lord Jesus.

We chose to go no further with them.

We're pretty consistent in this. If we see even a hint of some religiosity, we simply go elsewhere. No drama. Just no business. On the other hand, there are businesses we know to be owned by devoutly religious people but who choose not to use that fact in any way whatever for their business, and we're happy to work with them.

How does this strike others of you? Are we being somehow unfair or overly sensitive? Unfairly discriminatory?

response #11 by Liberal Veteran:

      I'm still trying to wrap my brain around "Christian Lawn Care" advertised in my area.
And they have the "fishy" thing going on in the signage.

What the fuck? Do they spread holy water on my grass and exorcise weeds?

response #44 by FloridaJudy:

      There's an establishment near here
That advertises "Christian Auto Repair". That always makes me scratch my head and ponder. Does that mean they won't work on Buddhist or Hindu cars (well, I guess that rules out Hyundais and Tatas)? Do they hold prayer circles for your busted manifold? Lay hands on your burnt-out alternator? Put holy water in your radiator? Baptize your rebuilt - or should that be "born again" - engine?

In case of the Rapture, does your car ascend and dump your heathen butt in the middle of the road to be run over by some Believer's unmanned Lexus?

response #28 by The Straight Story:

      If they can do the job, I could care less about anything else
They can say in their phone message 'Praise the FSM' and I would not care.

response #30 by TWriterD:

      CookOut has scripture on its soda cups...
but damn - $4.62 for a cajun chicken sammich, fries, hushpuppies, and beverage? I'll deal. ;-)

response #93 by Xithras:

      In N Out Burger has scripture on its soda cups too.
I'll have a double double animal style, hold the christ.

response #110 by Indenturedebtor:

      Personally I think talking about your religion is like talking about masturbation
Sure you can talk about it, but don't get offended when I tell you to shut up and not speak like that in front of the children.

Matter of fact next time someone starts preaching jesus love at me in a supermarket I'm going to tell them about how and to what I masturbate. And when they look at me all freaked out I'm going to say "Oh I'm sorry I thought we were sharing things that people should keep to themselves..." I can't wait :bounce:

Do you not think that a company that places a want ad that says "Christian Company" isn't telling you as a homosexual and a pagan to stay away?

response #127 by Hubert Flottz:

      "Last Supper catering service, how may we serve thee?"
"JC's Fishing Guide Service, we guarantee you'll catch enough to feed a freakin' multitude every trip!"

GD, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3307673

OP by Wetzelbill:

      So here is why I am the greatest DUer who has ever lived....
I'm humble.

So why are you the greatest DUer ever?

response #2 by DarkTirade:

      I don't know if I'd go with greatest...
just the prettiest.

response #4 by KitchenWitch:

      I am the ... I got nothin'
:hi:

response #14 by primate1:

      Because I...uhh...I...
I got nothin'.

Edit: See? My reply wasn't even original, KitchenWitch beat me to it.

response #25 by LeftyMom:

      My tits got 47 recs once.
:shrug:

The Lounge, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7747010

On a thread by depakid:

Times Are Tough, Except in the Repo Business
"When a boat owner defaults on his loan, the bank hires Jeff Henderson to seize its property. The former Army detective tracks the boat down in a backyard or a marina or a garage and hauls it to his storage facility and later auctions it off. After nearly 20 years in the repossession business, Mr. Henderson has never been busier...

Boating was traditionally the pastime of the well-off, but the long housing boom and its gusher of easy credit changed that. People refinanced their homes and used the cash for down payments on a cruiser, miniyacht or sailboat. From 2000 to 2006, retail sales for the recreational boating industry rose by more than 40 percent, to $39.5 billion, while the average loan amount more than tripled to $141,000.

Last year, as real estate faltered, the gears went into reverse. The number of boats sold fell 8 percent. Many boats are fuel hogs, and rising gasoline and diesel prices meant a weekend jaunt could cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Owners found they could not sell a boat for what they owed and could not refinance either..."

response #1 by DS1:

He probably doesn't pick up as many sailboats
:)

GD, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3310533

Poll question by Gilligan:

      My 8 Year Old Son Keeps Rick Rolling Us... What should his punishment be?
My daaaaling 8 year old son, Ian, has rolled his last Rick. He finally got me so good that I threatened him with -----? Well now... I didn't know what to threaten him with... That's why I need the help of all you professional child raisers out there. Allow me to describe his final Rick Roll...

He happily came down the stairs and handed me a DVD - He said it was a movie he had created on his iMac - He said he had worked really hard on it. He was so cute and excited as he prompted me to watch it. He had written neatly on the DVD "My Homework On Video" WOW! I was impressed "You put your homework on video?" He smiled and said, "I set it to music too!" Well I was proud of the little guy and put that DVD into the player and fired up the 46" Sony Bravia - surround sound and all... Okay, you guessed it - that horror show, cheese whiz popped up on the big screen directly ripped from YouTube and was blaring at me. I had been RICK ROLLED on my own TV by my own son.

This was bad enough but he has RICK ROLLED me several times and the ear worm song from hell has been trapped in my head for days at a time...

WHAT SHOULD HIS PUNISHMENT BE!

:bluebox: Roll him in honey and stake him out in the sun for the ant dinner party

:bluebox: Shave his head and make him dress like Howie Mandel

:bluebox: CSPAN in place of American Idol

:bluebox: Broccoli

:bluebox: Barbara Streisand Show Tunes for a week

:bluebox: More Cowbell

:bluebox: Jesus Camp!

:bluebox: Teletubbies Marathon

:bluebox: Comb his hair using Mom-spit

:bluebox: Other - Your suggestions are welcome

response #5 by EmperorHasNoClothes:

      Mom spit, but with a twist:
Comb his hair with mom spit, while all of his friends are standing right there. Then plant a big, wet kiss right on his forehead and tell him how cute he is.

(Then, to make up for it, offer to pay for his therapy bills in 20 years ;))

response #8 by alfredo:

      Make him wear plaid bermuda shorts, black calf length socks and sandals.

response #10 by Gilligan:

      You mean
dress like my Dad?

response #14 by jgraz:

      Here's a great video that shows parents how to deal with children who do this
Seriously, this is one of the best parenting videos I've ever seen. Don't miss it.

http://qurl.com/nyb2z

response #47 by sakabatou:

      Make him listen to Bush's laugh at night
Wait, that might be too much.

At press time, "Barbara Streisand Show Tunes for a week" was winning with 29% of the votes.

The Lounge (moved from GD), May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7748463

On a thread by helderheid:

      Two Top Columnists Question Obama's DNA and "Full-blooded" Americanism
"Liberal bloggers and commenters at The Washington Post op-ed section are rightly criticizing a column this week by syndicated scribe Kathleen Parker that questions Barack Obama's 'deep-seated' Americanism.

But she is only following the footsteps of Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal who raised similar issues three weeks ago -- and was praised by NBC's Brian Williams for a 'Pulitzer' worthy effort.

Noonan wrote then:

'Hillary Clinton is not Barack Obama's problem. America is Mr. Obama's problem...Has he ever gotten misty-eyed over... the Wright Brothers and what kind of country allowed them to go off on their own and change everything? How about D-Day, or George Washington, or Henry Ford, or the losers and brigands who flocked to Sutter's Mill, who pushed their way west because there was gold in them thar hills?'"

response #17 by demokatgurrl:

      These folks are "top columnists"?
I'd hate to see the bottom of the barrel.

response #23 by paxmusa:

      So let's elect someone like george bush who probably thinks "Sutter's Mill" is a micro-brew.
I would love for bush to be interviewed about the details of American History. I bet he was throwing spitballs and snoozing while his teachers talked about the Civil War, Women's Suffrage, etc...

response #24 by Notorious Bohemian:

      I have a GREAT idea for "Lapel-Pin-Gate". Please read.
First, I must admit I thought it was a joke, as if one's choice of jewelry can possible determine one's patriotism. But, when I realized they were serious I came up with this idea, which I feel puts this "issue" in it's proper perspective:

Choice #1: A very large, gaudy, rhinestone encrusted pin that says: "My Lapel Pin is more Patriotic than yours." Red, white and blue. It has a hole in the top for one of those paper flags.

Choice #2: A stylized chain-link gate with "Obama '08" and a hole in the top for one of those paper flags

Choice #3: A sticker that says: "I'm too poor for a Lapel Pin, but I wanted to prove I'm more patriotic than you".

Now, all three choices come with a clearly legible "Made in China" announcement - whether they are, or not.

I'm still working on another one, made of "wood", but I need a message for it.

GDP, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6028366

On a thread by uppityperson:

      I am an open minded person, but sometimes just wonder "why?"
"Elaine Davidson is the "Most Pierced Woman" according to the Guinness World Records.

When examined by a Guinness World Record official in May 2000, Davidson had 462 piercings, with 192 in her face alone. By August 2001 when she was re-examined she was found to have 720 piercings. Performing at the Edinburgh Festival in 2005, the Guardian reported that she now had 3,920 body piercings. She has more piercings in her genitalia than in any other part of the body - 500 in all, externally and internally. The total weight of her jewelry is estimated to be about 3 kilograms. As of May 2008, Davidson's piercings total 5,920..."

With pix, if you have a strong constitution.

response #13 by sellitman:

      I heard she has a magnetic personality.
Or was that she is magnetic?

response #16 by HypnoToad:

      Lord have mercy, wait until she needs to get an MRI done...
:scared:

response #19 by jimshoes:

      Oh ick, blech, yuck, bleah, ptooie
gag. I'm not one to judge though.

response #33 by madmom:

      Looks like she fell face first into someone's tackle box.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3310545

On a thread by jmowreader:

      When McCain becomes too big a liability, who will they replace him with?

response #2 by opihimoimoi:

      Vitter? Craig? Nope, over qualied....Rummy? Newt? Keyes? Bauer?
Hey, dey got pleny peeps to choose from...

response #3 by Ikonoklast:

      A bale of hay.
The hay bale has more charm, is stronger on the economy, has a real foreign policy that doesn't include killing everything, and never lost an election.

Oh, and is still with his FIRST wife.

response #9 by Old Crusoe:

      I think it will be Pete Rose.

They'll finally realize that McCain's temper is so volatile that they can't risk having him take the whole team down with him in November, and likely hire those people from zoos with tranquilizer guns to hunt him down at a fish fry in Amarillo.

Pete Rose is the man for the job, IMO.

For a veep nom, Pete could choose Harriet Miers.

Rose / Miers 08. Rolls right off the tongue, don't it?

response #15 by Truth2Tell:

      They will keep him and pray
that the media does what it has always done and ignores the fact that the Republican candidate is a complete farce.

It's gonna be one serious "Weekend at Bernie's" campaign, but they pulled it off with Bush so go figure.

GD, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3311355

OP by dmsRoar:

      *************Top Ten Mistakes Barack Obama Might Make************
Lots of talk from Clinton supporters about things that could happen to the political novice and utterly un-vetted Barack Obama, miscues which would derail his run and justify Clinton's continuing campaign without money, without enough pledged delegates, without enough super-delegates, and with waning support.

Here then, are The Top Ten Mistakes Barack Obama Might Make:

10. Flip-flops to support bans on hope and change.
9. Finds out his campaign strategist is lobbying for Colombians and only pretends to fire him.
8. Rookie political gaffe: endorses Hillary.
7. Reveals he drinks coffee black and hates lattes.
6. Tries to give away half of Czechoslovakia to Hitler.
5. Bowls an 11.
4. Speaks before a crowd of only 45,000.
3. Two words: Redneck Makeover.
2. Tugs on John McCain's jowls "just to see if they're real."
1. Starts giggling and calling his supporters "the unpopular vote."

If I forgot any, please add 'em on.

response #2 by FLDem5:

      walks into Suncoast Groves
and turns down offer of OJ, requesting a cuppa Joe instead.

response #5 by DearAbby:

      Calls Clinton at 3:am just to see her response.....n/t

response #7 by DAGDA56:

      Newly unearthed documents reveal that, instead of going to Harvard...
...he spent those years in the Air National Guard!

GDP, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6041496

OP by Windy:

      I rode an elevator with Mittens and spouse at Logan Airport... ask me anything..
And yes, he does look like a Ken doll, however aged a bit, in real life.

response #3 by truedelphi:

      When you pull the little plastic ring attached to the thin plastic string riveted to his neck,
Does he change expression?

I have imagined for a long time that's how he works.

response #7 by PsN2Wind:

      Did he make you
ride on the roof?

GD, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3315630

On a thread by babylonsister:

      GOP frustrated with Boehner, longs for Tom DeLay.>>
"Today, the Politico reports that House Republicans are frustrated with Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) and questioning his leadership abilities:

This source also said Boehner 'lacks some of the killer instinct' of former Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas). 'DeLay had a lot of problems, but he got the job done. Boehner needs a little more DeLay in him. He’s got to knock some heads,' said this source..."

response #3 by islandmkl:

      "DeLay had a lot of problems, but he got the job done...."
and Hitler was very adept at real estate acquisitions..

response #6 by aint_no_life_nowhere:

      GOP wants a head knocking boner?

GD, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3315573

On a thread by Brundle_Fly:

Prediction...

GºBama rolls out Gore tomorrow night.

response #2 by Perry Logan:

On ice?
Just kidding.

GDP, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6045701

On a thread by Omaha Steve:

Clinton support puts union arm in debt ($1 million loan)
"The independent political arm of the nation's largest government workers union has taken out a $1 million loan to replenish its coffers after spending millions of dollars backing Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and criticizing her rival, Sen. Barack Obama, according to campaign records.

Despite the union's endorsement of Mrs. Clinton, state chapters of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) in Illinois and Oregon have broken with the national leadership in recent months and thrown their support behind Mr. Obama.

Filings with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) show that the union's political group, AFSCME People, took out a $1 million loan on Feb. 25 from Amalgamated Bank in New York while spending more than $2 million to sway the Democratic contest. The expenditures included more than $200,000 in negative mailers against Mr. Obama in New Hampshire, Iowa and Ohio..."

response #15 by WilliamPitt:

Gee, this Titanic is a nifty ship! Hey, are you guys polishing that brass? Cool, lemme help!
First, I should rearrange these deck chairs. It's nice the band is still playing.

*blub*

Darwin. :shrug:

LBN, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3317890

On a thread by luckyleftyme2:

ITS TIME TO BOYCOTT
I have received several e-mails the last few days requesting me to boycott exxon/mobil
fossil fuel products. the reason being they continue to reap enormous profits with no cap on prices on the horizon.
we did this in maine with cb radios in the past. it worked !
THIS IS WHY THIS BOYCOTT WILL WORK: ITS NOT ONE DAY A WEEK; ITS FOR A DOLLAR A GALLON DROP IN PRICES. THE CHEAPEST GAS IN MY AREA IS $3.649 AND UNTIL IT IS DOWN TO $2.649 I WILL BOYCOTT EXXON/MOBIL

PRODUCTS.(MY VEHICLE RUNS FINE ON INDEPENDENT FUEL)
What we as consumers have to remember is our pocket book sets the bottom line. not big oil!
so for our tongue tied leader who couldn't respond to that snake oil sheik of saudi arabia
let us all respond for him:WHERE'S YOUR USA CUSTOMERS NOW!
PLEASE JOIN ME AND THOUSANDS OF OTHERS IN BOYCOTTING EXXON /MOBIL OIL COMPANY.

response #20 by EstimatedProphet:

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING AT EVERYONE?
IS SOMEONE JACKHAMMERING IN YOUR APARTMENT OR SOMETHING?

Really. Calm down.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3312968

OP by unblock:

      it's not over! kucinich can STILL WIN IT ALL!!!!!
so-called "pledged delegates" are chosen for their loyalty, but actually are free to vote for whomever they choose. even though kucinich has "withdrawn" and "stopped campaigning", naturally he'd run in the general election should the delegates chose, in their infinite wisdom, to nominate him.

so don't talk to me about the "math" or who's more "electable" or who has the support of the white-working class or black journalists!

KUCINICH CAN STILL WIN IT ALL!!!!!!!!111!!!!!1

I'M SERIES!!!11!

response #1 by Occam Bandage:

      Nothing counts until the convention! DK WILL NOT BE SILENCED! RISE, DENNIS, RISE!

response #3 by helderheid:

      KUCINICH/GORE IS 44!!!!111!!!ELEVENS!!!

response #12 by pschoeb:

      Sorry, It's gonna be a Gravelanche!!!!

response #14 by unblock:

      you're only saying that because rush told you to!!!11
:rofl:

response #17 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      To Hell with Kucinich
By that logic, My Campaign Is Still Alive!!

Vote Jeff in Milwaukee '08 -- With Any Amount of Luck, You'll Live to Regret It!

GDP, May 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6059928

On a thread by MassDemm:

      Ahem, excuse me.....
Super delegates don't vote until the convention.

response #6 by Warren Stupidity:

      The Nile is the only major river that runs south to north.
Isn't that fascinating?

response #22 by Johnny__Motown:

      Denial is the only major .... oh... nevermind.....

response #37 by swampg8r:

      wrong
the saint johns river runs south to north
it is considered a major river because of the volume of water it dumps into the sea each day

response #38 by Warren Stupidity:

      I knew there would a disputatious wise acre out there
fine. the 'saint johns river' is now one of the major rivers of the world. sheesh. way to wreck a bad joke. thanks.

response #55 by swampg8r:

      ahem
The St. Johns River (officially Saint Johns River, but commonly spelled St. John's River) is the longest river in the U.S. state of Florida, stretching 310 miles (500 km) from Indian River County to the Atlantic Ocean in Duval County. The St. Johns River is the second longest river in the United States that flows in a generally northwards direction. It was designated as one of the American Heritage Rivers in 1997 and pegged by an environmental organization as the 6th Most Endangered River in America in 2008. <1>.

The elevation change from headwaters to mouth is only about 30 feet, making the St. Johns one of the world's "laziest" rivers<1>. Its extremely low velocity, combined with the generally level elevation, causes the St. Johns to spread out to a great width for much of its course. During periods of low flow, the river can be influenced by tides as far south as Lake Monroe - 161 miles inland<1>. For a distance of over twenty miles before arriving at downtown Jacksonville, the river's average width exceeds two miles, and in some places, exceeds three miles in width. The slow flow of the St. Johns makes it difficult

for pollutants to be flushed from the waters, which has become a serious problem for the river ecosystem<1>. Still, the river is home to numerous species of plants and animals. It is not uncommon to see dolphins in the river east of Jacksonville and manatees in the springtime when the water warms up. Alligators, bald eagles, ospreys, stingrays, and many species of fish—both salt and fresh water—are found living in the river and on its banks. The entire basin is managed by the St. Johns Water Management District.

pretty major

response #63 by iconicgnom:

      sounds major lazy to me.

response #64 by Warren Stupidity:

      Everything in gd:p is a fight
Length 6,650 km (4,132 mi)
Basin 3,400,000 km² (1,312,747 sq mi)
Discharge
- average 2,830 m³/s (99,941 cu ft/s)

That is a major river. One of the planet's great rivers.

Length: 310 mi (500 km)
Basin 8840 square miles
Discharge: 664 cu ft/s

That is not a major river. It is the largest river in Florida. Half of it is tidal.

The longest rivers in the United States:
Missouri: 2,540 miles
Mississippi: 2,340 miles
Yukon: 1,980 miles
Rio Grande: 1,900 miles
St. Lawrence: 1,900 miles
Arkansas: 1,460 miles
Colorado: 1,450 miles
Atchafalaya: 1,420 miles
Ohio: 1,310 miles
Red: 1,290 miles
Brazos: 1,280 miles
Columbia: 1,240 miles
Snake: 1,040 miles

response #70 by swampg8r:

      how dare you throw my river under the bus (boat?)?
it's people like you who single handedly decide what constitutes a great river that are holding america's rivers back
bah
bah i say

if you make one more crack about the saint johns river i'm going to vote for the
cane creek in etowah tennessee and you and your "great" river can do without my vote OR my support

GDP, May 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6069998

OP by Jackpine Radical:

McCain is so old...
He used to have a brother named McAbel, but he got mad and killed him.

response #17 by tomreedtoon:

Visions of the McCain inauguration...
Here come the horses, carrying the Cavalry. And at the very end is McCain, riding in one of those newfangled horseless carriages.

McCain puts his hand on his own personal family Bible, and it disintegrates into a pile of dust.

In his speech, McCain gets confused and starts reciting a list of previous Presidents, ending at the latest one he can remember, Hoover.

Then, before the inaugural ball where a group of freed Negroes will be playing this strange new music called "jazz," everyone settles down for a meal of Cream of Wheat and Jell-o.

GD, May 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3320376

On a thread by Bluebear:

      Baptist church minister faces additional charges in sex sting
"Former Prestonwood Baptist Church minister Joe Barron, 52, could be facing additional charges in Brazos County, where he was arrested in an Internet sex sting.

KBTX-TV reports that police will turn the case over to Brazos County prosecutors on Tuesday.

Police say Barron drove more than three hours last Thursday from Plano to Bryan to meet what he thought was a 13-year-old girl he had met over the Internet...

Inside his car alongside a hymnal, officers found a box of condoms and a Web camera, which police say they think was intended as a present for the teenage girl Barron expected to meet....

In one chat session, police said, Barron told the 'teen' it would be 'fun and an honor' to teach her about sex. He later said, 'How else are you going to learn?'"

response #1 by CatWoman:

      gives new meaning to
"a three hour tour"

:rofl:

:hi:

response #2 by Bluebear:

      ..alongside a hymnal, officers found a box of condoms.. A BOX?? What an optimist. nt

GD, May 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3320780

OP by PeterU:

      Welcome to the General Discussions: Primaries automated switchboard.
Welcome to the General Discussions: Primaries automated switchboard. Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Angry Illogical Ranting.

((BEEP))

You have selected Angry Illogical Ranting. Welcome to General Discussion: Primaries. Please make the following selection:

Press 1 for broad-based generalizations.
Press 2 for the strawman fallacy.
Press 3 for subtly inciting hatred against your fellow Democrat.
Press 4 for arguing implausible scenarios just to rile up fear.
Press 5 for gross hypocrisy.
Press 6 for sanctimonious self-righteousness.
Press 7 for pretending to care about things you really don't care about just to suit your own agenda.
Press 8 for mock indignation.
Press 9 for veiled threats.
Press 10 for telling others to recommend your post because getting it on the Greatest Page is the best thing that will ever happen to you in your life and you can now die happy.
Press 11 for crazed mob mentality and herd behavior.
Press 12 for rationalizing your own behavior by claiming that the other side acts much worse than yours.
Press 13 for being an grand embarrassment to your own candidate and being against everything for which he or she actually stands.
Press 14 for circular logic, red herrings and non-sequitors.
Press 15 for TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND CURSING A LOT!!!!!!!
Press 16 for exaggerating the outcome of current events and otherwise blindly panicking for no reason.
Press 17 for prematurely jumping to conclusions based solely on rumor, innuendo or unsubstantiated evidence.
Press 18 for quoting out of context.
Press 19 for counterproductive behavior that is only going to serve to further divide us down the road.
Press 20 for not actually giving a damn about what your candidate is actually saying because you have worked yourself up into an emotionally frenzied state.

If you wish to repeat these options, you are obviously a troll and clearly want the Democrats to lose. We are in the process of alerting the moderators, and your thread will be locked. Prepare to be tombstoned. IBTL!!! IBTL!!!

If you are looking for calmness, rationality, common sense, unity, coalition building and/or logic, no options exist for such choices. Please hang up and feel disillusioned by your fellow Democrats. We fuck you for your patience. Have a shitty day.

response #3 by rug:

      This place is more 911 than 411.

response #6 by Mooney:

      It's actually more 311.
Here in NYC that's the hotline that was set up to report quality-of-life offenses, like foul odors and loud noise.

response #9 by SoCalDem:

      para el español, prensa veintiuno
:rofl:

response #27 by JimGinPA:

      Press 00 for Having The Only Opinion That Matters
B-)

response #30 by SeattleGirl:

      Press # repeatedly if you are convinced that your arguments for
your candidate have a chance in hell of bringing the other candidate's supporters over to your side. :P

GDP (crossposted in The Lounge), May 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6083322

On a thread by WilliamPitt:

ROLL CALL: Clinton / Obama / Undecided / Either - please post where you stand

Trying a little experiment here. Please take part according to the following guidelines:

1. Reply to this post with one word only: Clinton / Obama / Undecided / Either (if you'd be happy with either one)...

unnumbered response by BushDespiser12:

One word only:

GDP, May 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6074786

OP by ruggerson:

      A day in the life of GD-P
H supporter: Congratulations. Looks like Barack has it nailed down. Hopefully this will all be over soon and we can turn our sights to the Republicans.

O supporter: Your candidate lost! Can't you get it through your thick head?

H suppoter: Uh, yeah, didn't I just say that?

O supporter: Now, you're being just like Hillary Klintoon. Twisting everything around. You can't even tell the truth!

H supporter: The truth for me is that it was a hard fought campaign and we're at the end of it and I will support Obama as our nominee.

O supporter: You're living in a fucking Hillaroid different dimension. And don't tell me you support him, I know what you've been writing all along. We're on to your games.

H supporter: Are you not processing this? I previously was advocating for my candidate, just like you. But, the nomination is over. Hillary lost. Barack won.

O supporter: What, do you think we're stupid? This is another Clintonian trick. No one is falling for this mind fuck. You really think we're that stupid?

H supporter: I don't think you're stupid necessarily, but I'm beginning to think there is something very wrong with you.

O supporter: Wrong with me? I'm not the one who's been championing a two bit corporate lying whore!

H supporter: I've supported the person I thought best for the job. Now that she's lost, I"m supporting the guy left standing: Obama. I vote for and support the Democratic nominee.

O supporter: There you go lying again, Hillfuck. Are these your orders from Hillaryis44? Because it's pretty transparent what you're doing.

H supporter: Uh, what I'm doing is trying to move on to the general election.

O supporter: Bullshit. You're trying to change the subject. She's destroying Obama's chances right now. Has she conceded yet?

H supporter: I'm just a voter. It's not like I'm in the upper echelon of her campaign. I can't tell her to concede.

O supporter: Exactly. You don't want to her concede. You want to destroy Obama.

H supporter: Hold on there, that's not what I want nor did I say anything remotely like that. Actually, just the opposite.

O supporter: We're not falling for your slick, Billary bullshit.

H supporter: Are you having the same conversation I'm having?

O supporter: Hillbot, I'm looking forward to the day you and your candidate are history.

H supporter: Well, again, all I can tell you is congratulations. Looks to me like Barack has it nailed down. Hopefully this will all be over soon and we can turn our sights to the Republicans.

O supporter: You ARE a Republican. You and that pant suited harpy bitch!

H supporter: I really don't know what else to tell you. I'm voting for Obama. Hillary has lost.

O supporter: Yeah, right. Listen to yourself. Why are Hillaroids so fucking nasty and divisive?

H supporter: You have a nice day, now.

O supporter: Has she conceded yet, Hillfuck?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

DISCLAIMER: I realize there is venom from both sides. This is just one encounter amongst many in the twilight zone. But, one which is alarmingly frequent.

response #12 by FlyingSquirrel:

      I could only read the first part of your post...
so to me it looked like "HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO"

;)

response #13 by ruggerson:

      It's an anagram for Don Imus
you broke the code :)

response #26 by Occam Bandage:

      A day in the life of GD:P (abbreviated).
H: Hello now.
O: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCKWHORE FUCK BITCH FUCK. I AM AN ANGRY STRAWMAN! ROAR!
H: I am very reasonable.
O: FUCKING MOTHERLICKING DICKASS FUCKNUT NUN-TITS! SUCK MY FARTBALLS!.
H: That's hardly appropriate. Goodbye.
O: FUCK.

response #27 by prodn2000:

      LOL....Is the HO, HO, HO subliminal?
Oh, and by the way...

ALERTED!!!!

:P

response #30 by Occam Bandage:

      No, it's H, OH, OH, O. That is to say, "Hillary, who appeals to OH, will win OH, while Obama can't."
While I appear to be an Obama supporter, I'm actually encoding pro-Hillary messages in everything I write.

GDP, May 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6082345

OP by Bucky:

The Top Ten John Hagee Controversial Historical Theories
The Top Ten John Hagee Controversial Historical Theories

Folks, this whole "God used Hitler's Holocaust to Push Jews toward Founding Israel" ruckus is only the tip of the iceberg. The good Reverand Hagee has, it turns out, a number of contoversial view points that could have embarrassed John McCain's campaign.

10. God used small pox to push American Indians into the gaming industry as a means of propping up the economy in Midwestern states.

9. God doesn't like you eating Cheetohs. This view was a particular threat to party unity as many McCain advisors are known to have ties to the influential corn chips lobby (FATPAC).

8. God uses dogs to chase cats up trees.

7. Every time you masturbate, an angel gets his wings.

6. Hillary Clinton is a terminator cyborg sent from the future to kill hope itself. Wait, sorry, that one's from my "Top Ten Dumbfuck GDP Theories" list.

5. God used Mary Crosby to shoot J.R.

4. God uses No Child Left Behind standardized tests to pick which angels become archangels and which angels have to go back and repeat the Cherub grade. Jesus, of course, blows the curve on the final every year.

3. God uses dingos to punish Australian babies.

2. As a corollary to the belief that the Roman Catholic Church is the "Great Whore," it is also believed that the E! Entertainment Network is the "Great Pimp."

And the number one John Hagee Controversial Historical Theory...

1. God uses blowhard televangelists to encourage people to turn off the TV, go outside, live a little, and vote Democratic.

Don'tcha see? It's all part of the plan!

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6086900

OP by Gman:

      K&R this thread if you want Lee Mercer to drop out!
Why is Lee Mercer dividing the party?

Lee Mercer has yet to concede and his failure to do so only serves to further divide the party. Most of the talk has been about Hillary but many fail to see how Lee Mercer's continued futile attempt to disenfranchise those that voted for Obama only serves to divide the party.

And what of the rumors of Mercer on the ticket with Obama? That would only divide the party and hand the presidency to McCain.

What about the votes for Mercer in FLORIDA and MICHIGAN?? Count all the votes! (all three)

Skinner! Now is the time to declare Mercer out of the race and to stop these divisive threads about what a great president he will be or what a great VP he will be. Please close GD: P and consider Mercer persona non grata here at DU.

http://www.mercerforpresident2008.com/home.html

response #2 by Bucky:

      Take your Mercer hatred elsewhere. I'm all up in your house with disease, hater!

response #5 by madinmaryland:

      Woo Hoo!! I'm the third (all three) to rec!!!
:woohoo:

response #11 by shugah:

      Lee Mercer is the ONLY candidate that can prove
that every person in the United States and world is hooked up on an Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three).

he needs to stay in the race and we need to call and email the SDs to pressure them to pledge for Lee Mercer Jr.

he already owns Government #1, what better qualification could we ask for in our nominee? :shrug:

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6086853

OP by Gman:

      Lee Mercer should NOT be Obama's VP. Please rec if you agree!
Mercer has ran a divisive, combative campaign that is based entirely in politics and not on reality.

His inclusion on the ticket would:

* ignite conservatives like nothing else
* continue the discussion of "why isn't obama qualified to be president" and would make Obama and Mercer look like flip floppers
* represent the exact opposite of everything that obama stands for...being strong-armed due to political pressure to have his biggest enemy on the ticket

I'm sure there's a million other reasons that Mercer should not be on the ticket. He has run a racially charged, despicable campaign and I am still flabbergasted that he is still in the race. It's very rare to witness a candidate who is willing to embarrass themselves in this way. In my mind, Mercer has irrevocably damaged his reputation during this race, and he must not be our VP.

response #5 by cbayer:

      Disagree.
He could bring in the alien vote.

Go Lee!

response #6 by Benhurst:

      I think you waited too late to post this. The decision has already
been made, I've been told by a top campaign operative who does not want to be named, and it's going to be an Obama/Mercer ticket, for sure.

response #7 by racaulk:

      Gman, you're all up in this forum with disease.
(K&R)

response #10 by frylock:

      so you don't believe that his certificates, certified statements and certifications..
in Business and Commerce Intelligence National would be of benefit to an Obama administration? Please explain.

response #11 by FLDem5:

      why the hate?
Mercer has already said, it's top of the ticket or nothing.

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6090339

Poll question by prodn2000:

      Would You Prefer an Hour of GDP or Sex?

:bluebox: GDP

:bluebox: Sex

:bluebox: Both

:bluebox: Other

response #1 by mmonk:

      Is this a trick question?

response #2 by BlooInBloo:

      mmmm GDP sex.... even better than angry sex!
:rofl:

response #4 by babylonsister:

      An hour of sex no longer computes. Sounds good though. nt

response #6 by supernova:

      GDP Sex, Is that like
sex without lube?

:hurts:

response #10 by prodn2000:

      Minus Lube
Add Sand

response #7 by mcctatas:

      Can I have 15 minutes of one and 45 of the other?

response #8 by Forkboy:

      Sex with people in GD-P. Can't have much more unity than that.

response #58 by scarletwoman:

      I'm, like, ALL for unity! You got some free time tonight?
:D

response #62 by prodn2000:

      GDPLOVE.COM
:scared:

response #66 by scarletwoman:

      Bring. It. On.
:rofl:

response #14 by Bensthename:

      I am doing both right now..
:woohoo:

response #16 by ContinentalOp:

      OMG, only 59% for sex?
I think I see the problem here now.

response #18 by gateley:

      Sex. I've had more than my fair share of DU lately.
Can't say the same about sex. :(

response #26 by Straight Shooter:

      Sex with whom?
I have standards, ya know. :)

response #28 by gkhouston:

      Whoa, crosspost that to LBN!
I didn't know anyone in GDP had standards. ;-)

response #38 by myrna minx:

      I didn't know
we GD :P ers had conjugal visits? :rofl:

response #39 by prodn2000:

      It was in the packet that was distributed when you signed up.
You are just now finding out about the "benefits?"

:puffpiece:

response #108 by myrna minx:

      I mixed up that packet up with the
Gay Agenda packet I received from Liberal Agenda HQ. Damn. I missed out on numerous GD :P furloughs and conjugal visits! :rofl:

response #44 by Bryan:

      That all depends on who the sex partner is
If it's Donald "The Leather Teddy Bear" Rumsfeld or Karl "The Sausage" Rove, I'll take GDP every time, thanks...

response #45 by prodn2000:

      But what about Condoleezza (The BOSS) Rice or Karen (The Accommodator) Hughes
:puke:

response #49 by Solon:

      You just gave me an image in my head I'll not soon to forget...
Not to mention this type of dialog:

"Honey, can you move it to the left a little...oh..oh! What the fuck?!?! I can't believe that poster just said that about Obama, can you hold on a second baby, I need to flame this asshole!"

Needless to say, I didn't vote for the "both" option. ;)

response #120 by Oregonian:

      Or you'll yell out in the middle of, um, passion: "Did you even READ the article:?"
Or "Welcome to my Ignored list!"

response #75 by Beregond2:

      After ten minutes
of sex, I start thinking about politics anyway.

response #82 by bridgit:

      Sex please, I hate being diddled for all the wrong reasons...

Oh, and bridgit? :spank:

response #89 by Youphemism:

      Can't we have our whipped cream and eat it too?
Let's all get together at the convention and have sex. Last one there has to blog it all.

response #97 by izzybeans:

      I'm only here when I'm not having sex.
:)

response #100 by cloudythescribbler:

      Hell, I prefer an hour at the dentist to an hour on GDP ...
but I have a good dentist, FWIW

response #112 by TahitiNut:

      I can't remember.
What's the difference? :dunce:

response #114 by prodn2000:

      Fluids
Different fluids.

response #116 by turtlensue:

      I'm really curious about the
people who choose GDP only..... :crazy:

response #117 by prodn2000:

      I am more than curious, I am concerned.

At press time, "Sex" was winning with 73% of the votes.

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6082832

OP by Bucky:

      Rachael Ray endorses McCain for President
At the Olive Garden.

Yummy!

response #1 by BlooInBloo:

      Where's Bourdain when you need him?

response #2 by chimpsrsmarter:

      Escorting Sandra Lee to the Betty Ford Clinic.

response #8 by panhead1961:

      What about Chef Boyardee?
What is orange sauce made from?

response #10 by Bucky:

      Chef Boyardee is a white voter. He's going for Clinton.
Damn, if only he'd gone to college to learn how to drink soy lattes...

response #12 by NewHampshireDem:

      Don't forget 'hard working!'
:hi:

response #15 by End Of The Road:

      Who is PAULA ABDUL going to endorse??
I've been waiting all these months to hear her pick, so that I'd know who to vote for.

response #18 by chimpsrsmarter:

      When she has a show on Food Network than she can endorse, until then
she's dead to me.

:+

response #29 by burythehatchet:

      Mondale...she's a bit confused.

response #16 by RichardRay:

      Just let me make one thing perfectly clear!!!!

I am NOT related to that woman!!

response #32 by Gilligan:

Denial
is difficult.

Just accept it.

Other yummo responses...

The Lounge, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7761760

On a locked thread:

Obama collapsing in Oregon, a 20 point lead turns into a miniscule lead.

response #207 by rasputin1952

Locking
This has become a flamefest, a trainwreck and so hot the Polar Icecaps are melting.

Saving the planet once again, I am locking this.

GDP, May 19, 2008

On a thread by NightWatcher:

      John McCain is soooo old (how old is he?). He's so old......

response #29 by hasssan1

response #70 by Swamp Rat

GD, May 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3302153

On a thread by malaise:

      DUers have you seen this?

responses #2 & #5 by seemslikeadream

response #4 by malaise

GD, May 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3307124

On a thread by uppityperson:

      I am an open minded person, but sometimes just wonder "why?"

response #6 by HypnoToad

GD, May 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3310545

On a thread by luckyleftyme2:

      ITS TIME TO BOYCOTT

response #84 by DS1

GD, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3312968

OP by The Straight Story:

      Which one(s) are you? ROFL pic - Everyone on DU is probably going to hell based on this

response #3 by Kittycat

response #83 by Oregonian

response #10 by lob1

response #14 by Liberal Gramma

response #21 by Warpy

response #22 by cboy4

response #25 by panader0

response #26 by deadmessengers

response #30 by scarletwoman

response #46 by Frank Cannon

response #36 by Lastlaughin08

response #93 by krispos42

response #50 by robinlynne

response #52 by Firespirit

response #55 by SoDesuKa

response #56 by Neo

response #58 by Wiley50

response #59 by The Straight Story

response #61 by Occam Bandage

response #63 by dicksteele

response #65 by ColbertWatcher

response #78 by Withywindle

response #124 by The Straight Story

response #125 by ret5hd

response #81 by bigpenguin

response #95 by kenny blankenship

response #96 by krispos42

response #99 by WilliamPitt

response #101 by Sancho

response #104 by formercia

response #115 by LibertyLover

response #117 by Pirate looks at 50

response #119 by iiibbb

response #127 by cynatnite

response #134 by proud2Blib

GD, May 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3317189

On a thread by PeterU:

      Welcome to the General Discussions: Primaries automated switchboard....

response #11 by krispos42

The Lounge, May 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7757872

OP by underpants:

      Don't forget to tip the attendant and then CAPTION

response #2 by havocmom

response #3 by PATRICK

response #4 by Buzz Clik

response #7 by T Monk

response #14 by sinkingfeeling

GD, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3331479