Christian Newswire: New "After the Rapture" Email Service Launched

[Bluebear]

Contact: Mark Heard, You've Been Left Behind, 774-212-3066, [e-mail]

MEDIA ADVISORY, May 26 /Christian Newswire/ -- A new "after the Rapture" email service has been launched. Unlike other post-Rapture mailing services, the You've Been Left Behind website allows the customer to edit all documents and addresses at any time. This online site is run and programmed by Christians. It employs a "dead man's switch" to automatically send the Emails after the Rapture of the Church has taken place. Multiple safeguards have been put into place to prevent premature sending of stored documents.

Customers of You've Been Left Behind Get an account with 250MB of storages space. And can upload any document to send to as many as 62 email addresses. 150MB are stored 256 bit encrypted. Those documents can be individually sent to up to 12 specific email addresses. 100MB of unencrypted storage can be collectively sent to another 50 email addresses. A blog is also available to customers with prewritten documents for the customer who does not have the time or prophecy knowledge to write their own general letters.

The cost of the service is currently an annual fee of $40. The operators of the website pledge to reduce the fee as subscriptions increase. Also, no less than 10% is donated to Christian charities.

http://www.earnedmedia.org/yblb0526.htm

[XemaSab]

1. $40 is a small price to be paid

for posthumous schadenfreude. :P

[Bluebear]

2. But remember, $4 a year will go to "charity"!

[Liberal Veteran]

10. I wonder how much I could get for "post rapture pet care"?

Cause you just know some of those lolcats with Christian "staff" are really pagans.

[Kutjara]

6. Never mind that anyone with half a braincell...

...could set the same thing up on a regular Gmail account for free, and send as many "Ha ha, sucker, I went to Heaven and you didn't!" messages as they like.

[XemaSab]

11. Anyone with half a braincell

wouldn't be a believer in the rapture in the first place. :P

[Kutjara]

14. Excellent point.

I'm stunned any of them can use a computer well enough to open email. That would imply that at least some of them are evolving opposable thumbs. Or they would be, if evolution wasn't a lie.

[Kutjara]

3. I'm constantly amazed at the kinds of people...

...who are allowed to walk around unsupervised.

I think we need to stop building prisons in this country and start building more mental institutions.

[monmouth]

5. Unfortunately these people vote too...n/t

[Kutjara]

7. The only consolation...

...is that they're probably too stupid to figure out how to cast their vote in the right box, so their votes are more or less randomly distributed across the ballot.

At least, that's what I tell myself.

[dixiegrrrrl]

22. Actually, one of them told me there is no point to her voting

because the "end of the world" is coming before the election.
She says a lot of folks she knows believe this.
She said this a lot
repeatedly
for three aisles
at the Winn-dixie...

(gee, I wish they would screen their customers better)

[Kutjara]

29. I hope you agreed with her vehemently.

Neither she nor any of her fellow crazies should ever vote again, for anything more important than the next American Idol.

[Liberal Veteran]

4. 40 dollars a year for a post-rapture gloat service?

Damn...why the hell don't I think of creative ways to bilk the gullible?

[enough]

8. Wondering why do this? Here's the answer from the site

http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/index-3.html

QUOTE:

We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You will also be able to give them some help in living out their remaining time. In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys' (you won't be needing them any more, and the gift will drive home the message of love). There won't be any bodies, so probate court will take 7 years to clear your assets to your next of Kin. 7 years of course is all the time that will be left. So, basically the Government of the AntiChrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way. You can also send information based on scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made.

"WHY" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!

[Kutjara]

12. So they're saying the Rapture has "coach class"?

"There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time." It seems to be saying that, after the real Rapture, there'll be a Rapturette for those who suddenly "see the light." I don't remember reading about that in any other loony literature. Must be some new revelation I missed out on (unsurprising, since I send emails from God straight to my "Junk" folder).

I particularly love, "Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians..." Hmmm. "Taken aback" aren't precisely the words I would have used. Perhaps "overjoyed" or even "laughing fit to burst."

Even better, the Rapture-readies will include all their financial information in the emails, which will sit on the hosting company's servers forever. I really must improve my hacking skills: that is just too tempting a target (assuming, of course, the company itself hasn't emptied these idiots' bank accounts before I can get in).

[ladym55]

27. All this stuff isn't in the bible

Some clown named Darby thunk it up in the 19th century ... and it's gotten very popular among the less bright among us.

And so many very calculated "Christians" make lots o' money off the gullible based on this stuff. This little service is NOTHING compared the fortune Tim LeHaye has made with his "Left Behind" series. (which the same gullible read and think they are getting biblical reality ... they don't understand the "good book" so much on their own)

And I love your comment "I particularly love, 'Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians...' Hmmm. 'Taken aback' aren't precisely the words I would have used. Perhaps 'overjoyed' or even 'laughing fit to burst'."

That pretty much sums it up. Or maybe we'll be rejoicing at being allowed to teach science again in our schools ... :rofl:

[Kutjara]

31. I'm seriously considering...

...putting my evil atheism aside for awhile and converting to some flavor of kooky Christianity. Then I can spend a few years fleecing these sheep until I'm a zillionaire, before converting back and spending it all on Satanic rituals and other fun stuff.

I'd better do it quick, though, before folks like the ones running this scam have plucked all the fat chickens to the bone.

[realisticphish]

9. the great thing is

you can either be moderately honest, and actually keep the files around, or just pitch them right into the "delete" file.

Man, i need in on this shit

[Kutjara]

15. Or you can extract...

...all the financial information from the emails first, and then delete them. :)

This is one brilliant scam.

[realisticphish]

18. and hell

while you're at it, collect all the emails and sell them to spammers

[AndyTiedye]

13. Yep, and the Internet is So Robust That Even the Rapture Won't Take It Down

[SalmonChantedEvening]

16. "Youve Got Tribulation!"

:silly:

[Kutjara]

17. ...

:rofl:

[realisticphish]

19. lol nt

[Bluebear]

20. ----

:spray:

[lurky]

21. I wonder how the "dead man's switch" works?

It would be pretty funny if some hacker managed to set off their service: Thousands of fundos getting post-rapture messages, and thinking "Oh, no! I've been left behind!" :evilgrin:

[Liberal Veteran]

23. See, there's this bunker and they have to type 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 every 108 minutes.

[JoePhilly]

24. This is BRILLIANT ... wish I thought of it ... I'll be here anyway ...

:evilgrin:

[Neshanic]

25. "Iz gone tu heevnz to see Ceiling Cat! Pleez changz timerz on spriklerz."

[ColbertWatcher]

26. Christian eBay service announced! (SATIRE)

http://www.wikiality.com/Breaking_News#Christian_Post-Rapture_eBay_Service_Introduced">Christian Post-Rapture eBay Service Introduced

eBay-Rapture is like any regular eBay account, except it's for Christians only and all the proceeds from all the sales go directly to the afterlife making it possible to finally be able to take everything with you!

DISCLAIMER: This is a joke.

[ThoughtCriminal]

28. I can't pray hard enough

for that dead man switch to malfunction.

[Ilsa]

30. And another Christian Con cranks up. A sucker and his money are soon parted. nt

[gateley]

32. I love this part:

In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys' (you won't be needing them any more, and the gift will drive home the message of love).

ENCRYPTED! :rofl:

[Divine Discontent]

36. oh that's RICH>>>>> no really... LOL eom

[MilesColtrane]

33. I think most of them will be going to AOHell.

[Neshanic]

34. Then just before the Rapture a Vista update and all Hell breaks loose.

[Divine Discontent]

35. interesting service to say the least - what is disturbing to me is there's an ANNUAL fee...

LOL... oh, what will they THINK of next? And seriously, how crass of a service would this be ----



"I told you so...."


What purpose does that really serve, now c'mon! :sarcasm:


I pray no Christian would give these swindlers their money, but I know there are people easily separated from it by these types.

Thanks for the laugh Bluebear...

[Neshanic]

37. They..uh...have Direct Deposit in heaven. Yea...that's it.