Hey...did you hear the one about the traveling salesman?

[Hubert Flottz]

He ran out of gas!

You're right...this stuff about $4.09.9 a gallon for regular unleaded, ain't a damned bit more funny than that $5.00 a gallon milk is!

[BlooInBloo]

1. I heard she had a hard time finding the cheapest route.

[Hubert Flottz]

2. Bush may get the "Last Laugh", because nobody else but

George, thinks anything is funny anymore.

Are you better off today than you were 8 years ago?

[BlooInBloo]

3. :) Just a lil math joke....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traveling_salesman_problem#NP-hardness

[Hubert Flottz]

4. Dumbya might advise the traveling salesperson of today...

"I don't think you can get there from here anymore!"

"Pies is round, Cornbreads is square!"

"Make The Pump Higher!"

"This Here River Don't Go To Aimtry!"

[Beausoleil]

5. Salesman: "Does this road go anywhere?"

Farmer: "Been here all my life and it ain't gone nowheres yet."



Salesman: "You ain't far from a fool!"

Farmer: "Nope, just this here fence between us".

[Hubert Flottz]

6. LOL...

Farmer..."Well George W, you'll have to sleep with the pig tonight."

Pig..."I'll Be G#$ D@m*#d!"

[Beausoleil]

8. George W., the post turtle

A 70-year-old Texas Rancher got his hand caught in a gate while working cattle. He wrapped the hand in his bandana and drove his pickup to the doctor. While suturing the laceration, the doctor asked the old man about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'Post Turtle.'"

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked what a Post Turtle was.

The old man looked at him and drawled, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a Post Turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain:

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down."

[Hubert Flottz]

11. W will be the only one stupid enough to still be laughing...

by January 20th.

I'll bet Jr. still can't name a single mistake he's EVER made.

A walking, talking, unfunny, sick, joke-R-George.

A Good Mood is all but extinct in America these days. People are pissed off to the max, everywhere you go and strike up a conversation.

[Beausoleil]

12. That post turtle joke has been around a long time.

We still haven't gotten the poor, dumb bastard down.

[TexasObserver]

7. That's why he had to spend the night at the farmer's house.

And the farmer said "ok, but you'll have to sleep with my daughter."

[Hubert Flottz]

9. Poppy Bush, "Well Mr salesman, I'm afraid you'll have to sleep

my son!"

Salesman, "Damn, am I in the wrong joke here, or whut?"

[TexasObserver]

10. That's one of my favorite versions of that joke genre.

My favorite, however, is the pig farmer who invites the salesman to join him in porking one of his many sows.

[Hubert Flottz]

13. Salesman broke down in front of the White House...

Knock Knock Knock..."Say, Mr. pResident, could I borrow a monkey wrench?"

George comes back to the door in about 5 minutes carrying a large red douche bag, "Here you go Dude!"

Salesman, "Hey, I said a Monkey Wrench George W!"

George W, "Well this is what she wrenches her monkey with!"