A man threatened my 64 year old Mom over John McCain

[Maine-ah]

So, my mom was having a political discussion with a man she works with and she basically said that she would like to see more of McCain's military record, (she's a dem, he's a militant republican) and he said, "Don't you question his military record, I will ruin you, I will destroy you, I will see you buried".

I told her to talk to her manager. She also told me that he has been sexually harassing her for years. I did not know this.

Any help would be appreciated, I may not be able to reply, I have my BB running around and I'm stepping out for a bit. But this has me seriously upset, and pissed at the moment, and I'm ready to march down there and get in this mans face. :grr:

[Webster Green]

1. Bring an aluminum baseball bat..

They're much lighter than the wooden ones. :mad:

[NNN0LHI]

2. he has been sexually harassing her for years

Something doesn't seem right here.

Don

[Maine-ah]

7. thats what I said to my mom

and I'm just finding this all out thismorning. I have told her to go to her manager, and then to the next up in the food chain.

[Bucky]

30. Sadly, this is not untypical

It certainly is not right, but sexual harassment isn't just some jerk at work saying "do me or you're fired." It's part of a complex and subtle relationship between people, both of whom are dealing with their own issues. It's not surprising that a woman might endure incremental verbal assaults on her dignity or that a guy might take advantage of her hesitance to draw a line too brusquely at work. Or she might have been too nice and established the line too subtly. He might lay off for a while and she'll think, "Oh, he figured out he was making me uncomfortable" only to take up the verbal teasing at a later date, depending on his mood swings & need to assert his dominance.

This happens all the time: when I worked for the Texas Employment Commission I saw a hundred variations on this same theme.

[WildEyedLiberal]

3. I bet that chickenhawk piece of shit had no problem questioning Kerry's record

Tell your mom to report that pile of shit ASAP - that could be construed as a death threat. If she threatens to hold the company legally responsible for a hostile work environment, maybe they'll take action. Hopefully the POS will get fired.

[TheCowsCameHome]

4. Time for the boss to show Mr. Big Tough GOP guy the door

Screw him. Your mom doesn't get paid enough to put up with that crap.

[Darth_Kitten]

5. she has to step up and do something.........

She's 64, she's not weak and feeble.......it's disgusting, I know, but sometimes bullies need to be taken on.

[Maine-ah]

22. she's not weak or feeble

but this has brought her to an edge that she hasn't been to in a long time. She told me that if it wasn't for me, my daughter and my brother, she would have left this world some time ago.

For the harassment, it's not physical, it's words. Things like asking about her sex life. Keep in mind, my father died 13 years ago, so this type of conversation is not only disgusting to her, but it's also very painfull. She has told him to basically can it on that type of talk, but he still says stuff. She's affraid to talk to her manager.

gtg, BB crying.

[TexasObserver]

6. get it on tape, in a face to face meeting

Without having his threats or harassment on audio tape, she can never adequately prove this has happened. Get the evidence, then she'll have many options: police, media, civil case, admin claim, yada yada yada.

[Maine-ah]

8. there were witnesses, so no problem there.

I told her if she didn't get a response out of her management, I get free lawyers where I work.

[TBF]

11. Make sure she documents EVERYTHING. She should take it to her

human resources department after she's written it all out. They'll be forced to do an investigation. Collaborating witnesses would be very helpful, if any of her co-workers are willing to back her up.

[TexasObserver]

12. eye witness testimony can change, or disappear, or equivocate

Nothing works as evidence like an audio or videotape of a person committing sexual harassment or making illegal threats of harm. The tape as evidence far exceeds the value of witnesses, whose testimony can be impeached a variety of ways. A tape of the accused person is much better than having witnesses, who may or may not be believed by the trier of fact.

If you avail yourself of an attorney, the first thing they're going to want to know is the evidence of what happened. An audio tape of the perp making threats and/or sexually abusing is worth more than all the witnesses you might bring in. Ultimately, witnesses will flake on their testimony, or have their bona fides impugned by cross examination, or weasel out, or not show up, or sell out.

[mainegreen]

9. First, contact Pine Tree legal. They are a great first step for legal help in Maine.

Pine Tree legal: http://www.ptla.org/index.html

After talking to them, consider contacting the attorney general as well as filing a police report.

Seriously though: file that police report. Even if they can't do anything about it, it serves as a legal record of the occurrence. Valuable stuff.

[Gormy Cuss]

23. Seconded.

Both recommendations.

[livetohike]

10. Please have your Mom document in writing this event and

any other with dates and as factual as she can get it and make copies. Your Mom also needs to go see her Manager immediately and either tell the Manager that she will document this or bring the documentation with her.

If the Manager is a good manager, he/she will indicate what the next step will be. Workplace harassment is serious - no matter the size of the company.

[Sweet Pea]

13. What more does she want to see? n/t

[Mrs. Overall]

15. Your response is strange in light of the op's entire post.

[Lex]

18. Here's some education:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeffrey-klein/mccains-secret-questionab_b_107409.html

[Sweet Pea]

19. Well....

I hate to say it but some of that article is provable bullshit. Where Klein states the following is a good example of said bullshit:

Despite graduating in the bottom 1 percent of his Annapolis class, McCain was offered the most sought-after Navy assignment -- to become an aircraft carrier pilot. According to military historian John Karaagac, "'the Airdales,' the air wing of the Navy, acted and still do, as if unrivaled atop the naval pyramid.

Big deal. The Navy utilized (and still does) a selection process known as "Quality Spread". In that process, if you have a pool of available candidates (graded on a scale where you have a first in class and a last in class) for a limited number of plum positions, in this case an "aircraft carrier pilot", the typical incentive program is that the first guy in the pool of candidates gets what he wants. The rest end up getting what is known as the "needs of the Navy" (which may or may not be what the individual wants), but whatever the first guy gets, the last guy is sent to that community as well. That way, if a certain community routinely gets the BEST out of a class of candidates, they also get the worst.

I get tired of people writing about stuff they have no fucking idea about, and Klein proved just that with the postulation that because McCain "got jets" despite the fact he was in the bottom part of his class means something special.

The fact of the matter is that with the transition back in the late 30's of the Navy's "capital ship" from the battleship to the aircraft carrier, and cemented by WW2's heroic aviation exploits, naval aviation has been the community of choice for the majority of naval officer candidates for decades. It was when my dad entered into service in the late 50's, would have been when McCain got into the pipeline in the same time frame, it was when I got into the naval aviation business in the mid 80's, and remains so to this day. This is not news, and to talk about it as if it were indeed a humongous news flash is journalistic ignorance at its finest.

edited for spelling and last paragraph

[Lex]

21. Klein's article at least makes sense. nt

[mrfrapp]

33. Coincidence

And I suppose it's a complete coincidence that McCain's father and grandfather were both admirals.

[uppityperson]

36. WTF does that have to do with the OP?

what. the. fuck?

[DemoTex]

14. My stock answer to that kind of McCain apologist:

John McCain, who ranked 894 out of 899 in his graduating class at the U.S. Naval Academy, lost five Navy aircraft for which he had signed. Granted, a couple of those aircraft loses were beyond McCain's control. Three of McCain's aircraft loses involved bail-outs, the most well known of which was his shoot-down over Hanoi. That shoot-down might not have happened if McCain had not been hot-dogging, at a low altitude and relatively slow airspeed, after a low-value target in a very high-threat environment.

[caraher]

35. I'd like to see a source for this:

That shoot-down might not have happened if McCain had not been hot-dogging, at a low altitude and relatively slow airspeed, after a low-value target in a very high-threat environment.

What was the target, how was he attacking it, how slow is "slow," etc.

I'm all for criticizing McSame, but I don't want to get sucked into "swift-boating," which is reprehensible when we do it, too.

[pt22]

16. Buy a gun and shoot his dick off.

Seriously.

[Hekate]

32. It might be too tiny to see for a good aim, so she should just document everything in writing. nt

[ColbertWatcher]

17. Write everything down.

Corporations are too cowardly to take anyone's word on anything.

Write it down.

[I Have A Dream]

38. Absolutely. Have her write it down *right now*. Human Resources may ask when...

it was written, and it will have more power for her to be able to say that it was written down immediately after the incident. Don't delay. I have first-hand experience in reference to this.

[truebrit71]

20. Someone threatens my mother they spend the rest of their life drinking their meals thru a straw...

...dead fucking simple....

[deaniac21]

24. What if it was Fedor?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1iit53fkQM

[orleans]

25. she should file a restraining order. today.

for sexual harassment and the line: "i will see you buried"

period.

[Ghost in the Machine]

26. Give me a name and a town... I'll make a phone call

Who would you prefer to visit him.... bikers or skins??

[Mopar151]

27. Paitence...

Give Mom's manager a little time to work, if she has already talked to him. If not, that is definitely the first step!
I have been around a couple of these situations - if the manager is at all reasonable and sane, and her story holds up, Bigmouth will vanish like f'n magic - A loudmouth bully like this is a huge liability risk for the employer, not to mention a big drag on productivity.
You might quietly call the manager as well, and simply express your concern - and tell him you'd like to stay out of it, and that we all need to take care of Mom. He can connect the dots....

[Dukkha]

28. another tough talking chikenhawk coward

people like him would cower in fear over the slightest retaliation from the people they bully

[bunkerbuster1]

29. Excellent voice recorders can be had for very little money

Olympus makes several that'll capture just about anything uttered in a room. They're tiny, too.

Witnesses are good, but I'd suggest your mother have another conversation with this cretin and see if he's willing to spout any of this crap again. it's easy enough to record a conversation, just keep the recorder out of sight.

[renate]

31. that's a dandy idea

Normally I would find something like that creepy, but not when it comes to a human turd threatening someone's mom. (Or anyone, of course.)

Wouldn't it be great to be a fly on the wall when she replays it for her manager? :woohoo:

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

34. "Don't question his military record" - wow, very defensive

I wonder what's in those records? It would be hilarious if McCain were the one to be swiftboated in this election like Kerry was. I don't like the idea of anyone being swiftboated, but the Reshits drew first blood.

[uppityperson]

37. Good luck and peace to your mom. Tell her don't let the bastards get her down.

What a nasty piece of work that coworker sounds like. I hope she at least reported it to the manager and gets some help with it. Sexual harassment can be "just words" but it is still illegal. I wonder if the asshole is pulling such stunts with other people too.

Best wishes to her.