The John McCain Energy Plan--finally revealed!

[jmowreader]

After hearing John McCain describe Barack Obama's energy plan as "pass out free tire gauges" (or sell them to your supporters for $25, like McCain's campaign is doing), one may wonder exactly what McCain's energy plan entails.

Thanks to the miracle of the Internets, we can now tell you.

Senator McCain has purchased from the shell of the Enron Corporation one slightly used 250-megawatt prime power generating unit. He has also decided to name Mitt Romney as his running mate in the 2008 presidential election.

The day after the Republican National Convention, Senator McCain is poised to purchase a case of polyurethane construction adhesive. The senator's campaign staff will then affix both halves of the GOP ticket to the driveshaft on the generator. After a camera is pointed in their direction, both men will immediately start in on their campaign rhetoric. The power resulting from all the spinning and flip-flopping should be sufficient to power New England.

Senators Obama and Biden have no similar plan.

Studies undertaken at major American universities have proven the soundness of the McCain-Romney Energy Plan. Said Dr. Theodore Geisel, head of the Alternative Energy Lab at Caltech, there is absolutely no reason this won't work. "It's plain to see the only truly renewable source of energy is Republican bullshit. I applaud Senator McCain for being the first to harness this inexhaustable source of power. That doesn't mean I'm voting for the sorry bastard, though."

[Berry Cool]

1. I thought McCain's energy plan if he picked Romney as VP

would be to siphon all the oil off his hair, because it would be enough to meet our energy needs through 2050.

"Drill HERE, drill NOW..."

[DCKit]

4. Shoot, I heard it was his radioactive smile. n/t

[Catshrink]

2. I think Obama should pass out tire gauges reading

"I'm part of the solution." or

"I believe in hope"

with the Obama/Biden logo. The message is that we all must participate in solving the nation's energy problems by conserving, making changes in our lives, and ferchrisssakes, voting for our own best interests -- not the guy we want to have a friggin beer with!

[Turbineguy]

3. As an engineer myself

I can assure you that this will work. That's because republican bullshit is very powerful as well as heavy. Bullshitium 240 has a short half-life but a strong smell. It can only be moderated using Truthium, but market speculation will cause a shortage of the moderator.

This amazing source of energy will only run as long as the campaign lasts. Because if The McMitten source is elected it will fail very shortly there after. Johnny and Mittens will momentarily shut up to take in the disaster left for them by Bush to repair. That momentary silence is all that will be needed. That's because somebody will have disconnected the reverse power relay (Enron saved money by not doing proper maintenance) and the power grid will feed back causing both men to be spun into a low altitude orbit taking their Bs240 with them.

Much to the benefit of the nation.

Safe Harbor Disclaimer: I barely passed Electrical Engineering.