82 year old Margaret & Helen: Thankgiving Letter to the Family 2008 (LOL)

[Are_grits_groceries]

Message:
We have a great deal to be thankful for this year. A president-elect smart enough not to stand in front of a turkey slaughter for a news conference ranks right up there on my list. And speaking of which, the first time I watched that interview with Sarah Palin, I paid more attention to the turkey being slaughtered than I did to the idiot talking turkey. So I got to see it on the news shows this weekend and my God but that woman is stupid. My favorite part was when she started talking about the effects of dropping oil prices on the Alaskan economy. Seems she likes a diversified state economy about as much as she likes a diversified political party. With all do respect to my dear friends in Alaska, you axed the wrong turkey this year.
<snip>
Dear Family,
Now every year we go through this song and dance about who is going to be where for the holidays. Clearly this year many of you are afraid that Harold’s precious Longhorns are going to beat the crap out of your precious little Aggies. And because of that a few of you have made alternative plans for Thanksgiving. Well, I have this to say about that. I am almost 83. How much you love me is indeed determined by how often you visit during the year. And how much I love you determines the amount of presents under the tree at Christmas next month.

Evidently horseshoes and washers aren’t exciting enough so Tyler and Jennifer have decided to take the kids to Disney World with their neighbors. I hope Disney is the gift that keeps on giving because there will definitely be a small pile under the tree for you two. Not to worry about Brian and Sylvia. They’ll be taken care of because they really didn’t have a choice in the matter. But if I hear one word about how good the turkey dinner is at the Magic Kingdom, all that could change. Tags on gifts are like channels on the television. They change when I don’t like what I see.
<snip>
http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/thankg... /

[elfin]

1. Great letter!

Thanks for sharing

[MadHound]

2. Wow, grouchy old coot,

And this whole conditional love thing, :wtf:

Frankly if I received a letter like that, I'd tell Granny where to shove off.

[TahitiNut]

3. (lol!) #4

#4 If I told any of you not to feel like you needed to bring anything, what I really meant to say is don’t bring anything. Last year Aunt Cloe’s jello mess just ruined my entire presentation. And more than a few of you felt you needed to try it to make her feel better. What you didn’t realize is that more than a few of you used my dogs to correct your mistake. Poor babies were sick for days.

:rofl: