Definition of a Natural-Born Citizen

[Believing Is Art]

As I understand it, the Donofrio argument before the SCOTUS today is that despite being born on American soil, Obama is actually a UK citizen since his father was Kenyan and subject to UK jurisdiction.

Even if we concede that the Fourteenth Amendment makes it clear that Obama is a citizen, it does not say that he is "natural-born" citizen. The Constitution is actually quite vague on what defines a "natura-born" citizen. I would like to submit the following for consideration.

A natural-born citizen is a person who meets the following criteria:
1. Was born on US soil
2. Was born to US citizens
3. Was conceived in the missionary position on US soil
4. Subject's parents possessed a valid marriage certificate at the time of conception
5. Has not resided outside the US for a duration exceeding one month, excepting in the service of the military

If any of the above criteria are not met, a person may attain natural-born citizenship status if he/she meets the following:
1. Believes that marriage is between a man and a woman
2. Has attained an arsenal of at least 50 firearms, 10% of which must be automatic or semi-automatic
3. Does not support Roe v. Wade
4. Is a deacon at his/her church

I think this should clear up any future question of a candidate's eligibility.

[polichick]

1. LOL - don't forget what can be done if you wear the flag and carry the Bible.

[lapfog_1]

10. or vice versa - n/t

[mrreowwr_kittty]

2. You forgot white. Has to be white.

And I mean Anglo-white, not any of the funky "ethnic" stuff.

[Wapsie B]

3. They are really getting desperate.

Anything to stave off the inevitable decline into obscurity for the gop.

[MineralMan]

4. Also, must not be born

by caesarian section. That ain't natural.

[tjwash]

5. That is awesome...consider it stolen.

[happyslug]

6. This was debated and resolved in the 1920s

When three time Democratic Candidate William Jennings Bryan's daughter was elected to the US Congress in the early 1920s, the question of Natural born US Citizen was brought up. She had married an English Officer during WWI, which under US Law at that time striped her of her citizenship (English Common law said a wife was automatically the citizen of her husband's country and lost the citizenship of her native country). She had applied for naturalization about two years before she was elected. When she was elected and took office the Seven year citizenship requirement of the Constitution for Congressmen came up. Congress had a problem, how do you deny Citizenship to the Daughter of a former Secretary of State AND a three time candidate for President and who except for a 3-4 years has always lived in the US and when overseas had been working for US interests? Even the Republican controlled Congress of the 1920s choked on that and let her take her seat and re-wrote the rule of Citizenship to the ones we use today (and threw in Citizenship for the Indians since then President College's VP was a Cherokee).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthright_citizenship_in_the_United_States_of_America

The actual stature in question:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode08/usc_sec_08_00001401----000-.html

Natural Born Citizenship was well discussed in the following Case (Which involved an American of Chinese descent who had been born in California in 1870):
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?navby=CASE&court=US&vol=169&page=649

[valerief]

7. I think the ultimate natural-born citizen isn't born. It's still a fetus. nt

[Swamp Rat]

8. non-cesarean?

:D

[Gman]

9. Who cares. It's a wingnut driven frivolous lawsuit

that has no merit.

[Oregone]

11. Woody Harrelson was great in that movie

[rug]

12. I thought you had to fuck on an American flag. with your eyes closed to be a natural born citizen.

[Believing Is Art]

19. Hmm

Only if the flag is in the bedroom. Love between a married man and woman is a beautiful thing, but only indoors with the blinds closed.

[damntexdem]

13. You left one out -- must be born with a flag-pin birthmark.

But you HAVE explained why McCain was considered OK.

;-)

[Number23]

14. And has to love Velveeta. On white bread

Hold the mayo...

[SmileyRose]

15. ewwwwwwwwwww

[WindRiverMan]

16. People actually EAT that crap?

I thought it was just for decoration in those little packages of club crackers with the red knife thingie.

[Believing Is Art]

18. You'd be surprised what people will eat when desparate

And oddly enough, we hosted a couple Spanish exchange students and they LOVED the little cheese-cracker-red plastic knife packages.

[2 Much Tribulation]

17. There are 2 constitutional classes, and 2 only: Born and naturalized citizesn

Because Obama's not naturalized (citizen by adoptive choice) he's in the other class, even if born in Kenya. Even naturalized citizens were eligible for president if alive at the time of the Constitution. (a sort of grandfather clause for Founders, including Alexander Hamiltion who never made president but was born in the West Indies)

Case closed. They can't create a third class not part of the constitutional scheme.