*** DUzy Awards for week ending December 19, 2008 ***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Dec-19-08 08:52 PM
Original message

Welcome to the Porpoise Driven DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from the past two weeks on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to dixiegrrrrl, underpants, grantcart, WakeMeUp, ColbertWatcher, Rhiannon12866, eridani, KamaAina, awoke_in_2003, Gilligan, ayeshahaqqiqa, blondeatlast, Vickers, KitchenWitch, hisownpetard, krispos42, arcadian, wryter2000 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

OP by Erin Elizabeth:

      PRES. OBAMA WILL TAKE YOUR GUNS!
That's what the back of a pickup's window had that I saw today. Written in that white shoe polish. Looked recent, too. I loved the respect he showed with "PRES. OBAMA" and not President-Elect" or just Obama.

I tried desperately to take a cell phone picture, but he was turning onto the interstate and I nearly got into an accident trying to do it, so I failed at that. All I have is a blurry picture of him driving off.

I so wish I could have pulled up next to him and given him a huge grin and a thumbs up. You see, my husband and I, in a spirit of cooperation, are going ahead and sending our guns to Obama. In the mail. It's not totally selfless, we'll get 50,000 Fake Liberal Points for doing so and those are exchangable for in-demand items such as bongs, REALLY nice ghutra an iqals, food stamps, and special hobo blankets, quilted together with the worthless financial statements of everyday Americans. How AWESOME! Or SICK, as the teens might say nowdays.

What, might you ask, is President Obama planning on doing with your guns? Well, he's having them recalibrated so they only shoot The Gay instead of bullets. And then of course, his henchmen will go around shooting The Gay at everyone and if you are already gay, you'll become Double Gay, which is so gay you nearly loop right back around to straight.

I look forward to it, myself.

response #13 by HillWilliam:

      I'm already so gay, I can eat beans and cornbread
and fart glitter and Liz Taylor's "White Diamonds". I've got plenty of Teh Gay to go around. I'd make that loop-back thingie look like a pirouette. I'll warn Teh Henchmenz, it's catching. Mere proximity to my super-special secret Teh Gay powers can turn even the butchest Blackwater types into shirtless, dancing Village Freeples. YHBW.

Still can't have my guns, though the bongs and hobo blankets do sound tempting. :rofl:

response #20 by NoPasaran:

      First, he'll come for the guns. Next, the shoes!
:scared:

GDP, December 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7978258

On a thread by underpants:

      Chief: Gov. Palin's home church damaged by arson
"Gov. Sarah Palin's home church was badly damaged by arson, leading the governor to apologize if the fire was connected to 'undeserved negative attention' from her failed campaign as the Republican vice presidential nominee.

Damage to the Wasilla Bible Church was estimated at $1 million, authorities said Saturday. No one was injured in the fire, which was set Friday night while a handful of people, including two children, were inside, according to Central Mat-Su Fire Chief James Steele.

He said the blaze was being investigated as an arson but didn't know of any recent threats to the church. Authorities didn't know whether Palin's connection to the church was relevant to the fire, Steele said.

'It's hard to say at this point. Everything is just speculation," he said. "We have no information on intent or motive...'"

response #3 by Gato Moteado:

      was it MIHOP or LIHOP?
i'm leaning toward MIHOP.

:)

response #7 by Dr.Phool:

      The Wasilla Turkey Liberation Organization claimed responsibility.
In a statement, they said, "Pork, the other white meat".

response #8 by underpants:

      No no no
it is the Wasilla Liberation Turkey Organization

response #11 by Dr.Phool:

      In the meantime, a spokesperson for the Moose Liberation Front said
"Eat more chicken".

response #10 by ayeshahaqqiqa:

      The damage was $1 Million?
Ye cats and little fishes, how big was the church? Why not have a smaller church and use the money to feed the poor?

response #29 by proust78:

      Also, a backwards "B" was carved in the church
Witnesses say the arsonist was a big, angry black guy.

response #32 by jwirr:

      MSM took their eyes off her to blab about Blago and she had to do
something to get them back.

response #34 by FORREST GRUMP:

      Have been rubbing a jalapeno in my eye but I just can't seem to bring forth a tear!
Will try a habanero, and report back later...

response #55 by Nevernose:

      I say either insurance fraud or bad contractor
But that's just gut talking. Beef stew often does that to me.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

LBN, December 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644105

OP by ddeclue:

      OK... all DU agents... prepare to copy..
Operation 12X25 is on...

Begin now... Today we take out the Twelve Drummers Drumming...

Tomorrow will be the Eleven Pipers Piping..

Consult the code book and check in...

:rofl:

response #1 by NanceGreggs:

      My current security clearance ...
... under this operation does not allow access beyond maids a-milkin'.

Go on without me, boys - and tell 'em I died fighting the good fight.

response #13 by Oldtimeralso:

      What Security Clearance Do You Have Nance?
T S - top secret
F E O - for eyes only
B A R - burn after reading
or the ultimate one, the one I have B B R - burn before reading

response #23 by NanceGreggs:

      I think I'm actually in the ...
... SHABMDTHA category:

(She Has A BIG Mouth, Don't Tell Her Anything.)

response #2 by lob1:

      FYI...one of the French hens is actually Basque. Lets hope she can act.

response #6 by Cheap_Trick:

      Colonel Lingus of the Five Rings Brigade checking in.
That fucking partridge is mine. Fuck the pear tree he's in, too. It's toothpicks.

response #9 by nc4bo:

      The 4 calling birds said they're waiting for their cut of the TARP funds
We have a situation people: The birds are plucked.

Three pigeons on standby.

response #16 by SeattleGirl:

      The six geese a-laying
have laid rotten eggs.

Repeat.

They have laid rotten eggs.

Further instructions pending.

response #22 by eridani:

      A note from the partridge re demolished pear tree
No place to stay. I come over to ur place? Threesum?

GDP, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7980957

OP by philboy:

I've hit "refresh" so many times in the past 24 hours...
that you would think I'd smell a little fucking better than I do.

The Lounge, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8327725

On a thread by bigworld:

      Bush makes surprise farewell visit to Iraq
"US President George Bush has arrived in Iraq on a surprise, farewell visit to the country that has defined his presidency since the invasion in 2003.

The White House said Mr Bush had landed in Baghdad.

The visit comes a day after US Defence Secretary Robert Gates told US troops in Iraq that their mission there was in its 'endgame'..."

response #1 by Botany:

      I suggest a walking tour of Fallujah
You know get out and meet the folks because I am sure
they would love to see him.

response #3 by Liberal Veteran:

      Quick! Revoke his passport!

response #9 by Lastlaughin08:

      Somebody please tell me United Van Lines delivered all his stuff
when he arrived.

Oh pretty please................

response #20 by MilesColtrane:

      What did he serve up this time?
A papier-m�ch� ham?

And see below for two Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

LBN, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644299

On a thread by proud2Blib:

      Man throws shoes at Bush in Iraq
"A man threw his shoes at President George W. Bush and was dragged away by security officials during the president's farewell trip to Iraq.

The incident occurred as Bush was appearing Sunday with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

Bush ducked and wasn't hit by either shoe. Bush joked, saying that all he can report was that it was a size 10 shoe. then calmly took questions..."

response #13 by radfringe:

      Bush joked, saying that all he can report was that it was a size 10 shoe
Wow, same size as IQ score

response #20 by Impeachment_Monkey:

      Oh Shit!! I wear size 10 shoes too. Should I be worried?
I'm concerned that now I'll be on the terrorist watch list. Please talk me down.

response #22 by pitchforksandtorches:

      MSM will say the thrower was a heel
I say he had a lot of sole!
Too bad he missed the mother fucker!

response #48 by InkAddict:

      So many old stinky Nikes, so little access.....
Where does AF1 come down?

response #78 by Lautremont:

      I think this was disrespectful and wrong.
Those shoes were way too small for a man of Bush's accomplishments. Steel-toed boots would have been much more appropriate.

response #91 by proust78:

      Bush did tell Iraqis to "Bring it on"
Speaking about projectiles a lot more dangerous then shoes.

response #103 by TheGoldenRule:

      That guy deserves a gold medal!
:woohoo:

response #106 by Lastlaughin08:

      .....or the Cy Young award.

response #222 by NBachers:

      Or the Barry Zito award

response #121 by exman:

      shoes fly? don't bother me.
:woohoo: :applause:

response #131 by soupkitchen:

      Et Shu Brute

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

LBN, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644551

OP by Just A Yeller Dawg:

      Was there a second shoeter?
There's no way (unless he were a militarily trained shoethrower) that this guy could have gotten two throws in 0.9 seconds.

He had to bend down and reload between throws.

I have heard rumors that there were many shoes at the event. More to come.

(Does this mean that anytime Bush speaks in public everyone will have to leave their shoes at the door?)

response #1 by RUMMYisFROSTED:

      Yep. On the grassy sole.
:hide:

response #2 by Dennis Donovan:

      Bush ducked back, and to the left...
...back, and to the left. :D

response #10 by Bozita:

      Mannlicher Carcano makes notoriously slow and clumsy shoes.

response #13 by MindPilot:

      You go to a press conference with the shoes you have...

response #42 by Ikonoklast:

      But with Marine sniper training you can rattle off one round after another.
Even if you are a loafer.

response #7 by KansDem:

      No, you're just a conspiracist. Haven't you heard of the "magic shoe theory?"
Where's Arlen Specter when you need him?

response #18 by Just A Yeller Dawg:

      I could believe it if the shoeter was using a pump
but the shoe appeared to be a single action Florsheim.

response #20 by FarCenter:

      Pump action is pretty rare
Except for Republican senators in Minnesota bathrooms

response #58 by Artiechoke:

      The entire thread is a shoe-in for a DUzy.
Couldn't resist.

response #56 by LiberalHeart:

      Moderators need to give these theories the boot.

response #19 by liberalmuse:

      Will there be an investigation by the Worn Commission?
What do you want to bet that he got plenty of practice ducking shoes thanks to Laura?

response #31 by Rhiannon12866:

      If the shoe doesn't fit, they must acquit!
:rofl:

response #33 by IDemo:

      The official report is full of flip-flops

response #37 by Life Long Dem:

      Maybe Bush found those WMD's?

response #40 by calipendence:

      "Shoe bomber" Part 2!

response #43 by rucky:

      They weren't exactly shoe bombs, but they were definitely laced with something.

response #48 by bertman:

      It's common knowledge that the missile of choice for professionals is the Nike.
So this shoeter's choice of weaponry shows he's an amateur and most likely a fall guy. If Jack Ruby Slippers gets to him first we'll never know the truth behind this plot.

response #77 by eridani:

      I have it on very good authority
--that the shoes were actually chukka boots.

response #73 by alarimer:

      The Yankees spent 250 million on TWO pitchers.
They could have had this guy for a pair of cheap loafers.

And see below for two Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4651027

OP by ddeclue:

Iraqi reporter to get shoe endorsement contract from Nike...
:sarcasm:

It would be funny though!

:rofl:

response #1 by Uzybone:

Just DU it!

GDP, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7980022

OP by Philosoraptor:

These boots are made for chuckin', & that's just what they'll do...
Hey bush, You keep saying you've got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin'
and now someone else is gettin' all your best.

These boots are made for chuckin', and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna hurl right over you.

You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.

These boots are made for tossin', and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna fly right over you.

You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you�ll never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.

Are you ready bush? Start walkin'!

GD, December 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4655140

Poll question by ColbertWatcher:

      What's the most important aspect of the "Shoe Throwing Incident"?

:bluebox: that Dumbya's Secret Service agents were nowhere to be seen until after both shoes were thrown and other reporters surrounded him

:bluebox: that Dumbya sneaked into Iraq again

:bluebox: that this administration's complete and utter disregard for any and every culture in the Middle East would convince them that it would be a good idea to go into Iraq at this late date and they actually expected it to go on without a hitch

:bluebox: that the GOP-controlled media was able to discuss it all day, without mentioning the possibility that the guy who threw the shoe might have been kidnapped last year

:bluebox: that there's a new animated gif of it

:bluebox: All of the above

:bluebox: None of the above, I will post my own idea what the most important aspect was in reply

response #2 by yurbud:

      Someone treated Bush with the respect he deserves

response #15 by Nasprin:

      When I first heard that a reporter had thrown a pair of shoes at Bush
I thought that Helen Thomas had finally snapped.

I was actually disappointed when I learned the shoes did not hit Bush right in the kisser. But one should not wish harm on the President I guess, even the appointed ones.

At press time, "that there's a new animated gif of it" was winning with 35% of the votes.

GDP, December 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7981123

On a thread by Opposite Reaction:

45% Suspect Obama Team Involved in Blagojevich Scandal
"Forty five percent (45%) of U.S. voters say it is likely President-elect Obama or one of his top campaign aides was involved in the unfolding Blagojevich scandal in Illinois, including 23% who say it is Very Likely.

Just 11% say it is not at all likely, according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey taken Thursday and Friday nights..."

response #7 by woodsprite:

I see Rasmussen is licking those hallucinogenic toads again. n/t

GD, December 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4656237

OP by uppityperson:

Helen Thomas really pisses me off.
She treats the Press Secretary with SUCH disrespect, asking her hard questions, contradicting her. I just don't know why they allow her to do that since the Press Secretary person is representing the President and disrespecting them by asking things, by challenging, by pointing out when they have their heads up their asses. I mean, really! How CAN she disrespect the Office of the Presidency like that???????

:sarcasm: Thank you Helen for continuing all you do.

response #1 by Ishoutandscream2:

I wish Helen would throw a shoe at her

GD, December 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4664964

On a thread by MikeNearMcChord:

      Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied
"The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance.

Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the nearby ShopRite, but also with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article about the cake.

Heath Campbell, who is 35, said in an interview Tuesday that people should look forward, not back, and accept change.

'They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did,' he said..."

response #2 by Rex_Goodheart:

      "They need to accept a name. A name's a name."
Adolf's father is apparently a dishonest twit.

response #3 by DS1:

      And then there's my poor cousin "Douchebag Pol Van Pot Smith"

response #21 by Morning Dew:

      and his baby brother Judas Iscariot Smith

response #4 by panader0:

      I was going to name my second daughter Bolivia
but I dropped the B. That's what I tell her anyway.

response #10 by cboy4:

      Who would name their kid Campbell?
:puke:

response #95 by KamaAina:

      Only one question remains: Sitcom or reality show?
"All of them had hair of gold, like their Fuhrer, the youngest one in curls... that this group must somehow start a race war, that's the way they all became the Nazi Bunch!" :puke:

edit: "Moooooooom! Adolf Hitler put a booger in my cereal agaaaaain!!!"

GD, December 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4665041

OP by Finnfan:

      I'm 40 years old and I just found out the truth about Santa Claus.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=user_profiles&u_id=234097

:cry:

response #1 by KitchenWitch:

      Hold me!
:cry:

response #2 by Debi:

      It's so wrong!
:cry:

response #3 by NoPasaran:

      Geez, that atheist sign flamewar in GD really got out of hand

response #6 by baldguy:

      C'mon! Claus is the President & CEO of one of the largest - and worst - corporations on the planet.
He intentionally set up all of his factories overseas to avoid health, safety & environmental regs. He's got an endless supply of elves for his labor force. I hear he pays them in gingerbread - no health care and no retirement benes - with 80 hr work weeks and no time off. And you can just forget about unionizing them! He also abuses his reindeer too. How do you think he gets Rudolph's nose to glow? Santa feeds him radioactive phosphorous, I tell ya!

The Lounge, December 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8333111

OP by elehhhhna:

      "How Many Shoes Would a Lame Duck Duck if a Lame Duck Could Duck Shoes?"
Ten times.

Fast.

response #1 by parasim:

      He'd duck as many shoes as lame duck would if a lame duck could duck shoes.
on edit: i knew i couldn't do it first pass...

response #7 by qwlauren35:

      That was FUN!
I think I stopped at 5. I wasn't getting tongue tied, but my mouth got tired.

GD, December 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4671588

On a thread by WilliamPitt:

Aretha Franklin to sing at Obama inauguration

response #15 by leftofthedial:

Well that does it for me!
How can Obama turn his back on us Wayne Newton fans like that?

:grr:

GD, December 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4671781

Poll question by dixiegrrrrl:

When Rick Warren tumbles from grace, it will be because:

:bluebox: He is outed, with proof.

:bluebox: Really racy video appears involving yo-yo's.

:bluebox: All his flock but him is raptured.

:bluebox: Anti-freeper backlash because of Obama.

:bluebox: His church cannot pay the ARM re-set.

:bluebox: Obama's pick qualifies him to be too sane for California church members.

:bluebox: Other: Explain.

response #9 by Jackpine Radical:

And then he'll write a book called
The Penis-Driven Life.

At press time, "He is outed, with proof." was winning with 44% of the votes.

GD, December 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4671721

OP title by MrScorpio:

Three pretty reliable constants: Air is a gas, water is a liquid and Glenn Beck is an idiot

GD, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4680003

On a thread by mondo joe:

      At least some good news today: Paul Weyrich died.
"Conservative activist Paul Weyrich, who coined the phrase "moral majority" and helped turn social conservatives into a powerful force in the Republican Party, died Thursday. He was 66.

Weyrich's death was announced by the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think thank that he had helped to create..."

response #19 by Lex:

      Well, I guess at least he won't be speaking at the Inauguration.
*ducks*

response #31 by ColbertWatcher:

      You know you're a tool if a think tank announces your passing. n/t

GD, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4676082

OP by MrScorpio:

"Rick Warren"
Nope. No reaction

The Lounge must be immune

The Lounge, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8339474

OP by bluesbassman:

HOLY SHIT!! Dee Snyder to rename Twisted Sister. Finds it offensive...
Twisted Sister Renamed

Frontman to Donate Percentage of Revenue to Teenage Girls Home.
By R. U. Series
Published: July 4th, 2009

Twisted Sister frontman, Dee Snyder, announced at a press conference today that his band will be changing its name.

�Let�s face it, the term �Twisted Sister� is offensive to many people and continuing to use it as the name of rock act is totally inappropriate,� said Snyder. �This is long overdue.�

Snyder went on to say that, since the band had over the past 25 years made hundreds of dollars off of merchandise featuring images of twisted teenage girls, it only made sense to use some of that money to help improve the lives of these oft forgotton minors. He announced that the band would be giving a large percentage of its revenue to The Dee Snyder Home for Teenage Girls.

No final decision has been made yet on what the new name will be, although Snyder said that he was leaning towards a name and new makeup that would be �appropriate for Los Angeles and would also refer to a group of people so historically cluless and without talent, the very mention should make fans tremble with fear for everything they consider good in this world� "Carrot Tops." :)

The Lounge, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8339370

On a thread by Bucky:

      Rick Warren: "Certain body parts are meant to fit together"
"About three years ago, a reporter at Fortune asked Rick Warren � the successful pastor whom the President-elect has asked to pray at his inauguration � about homosexuality. "I'm no homophobic guy," Warren said. His proof? He had dined with gays; he has a church 'full of people who are caring for gays who are dying of AIDS'; he believes that 'in the hierarchy of evil... homosexuality is not the worst sin.' So gays get to eat � sometimes even with Rick Warren! Then they get to die of AIDS � possibly under the care of Rick Warren's congregants. And when they go to hell, they won't be quite as far down in Satan's pit as other evildoers.

But Warren did have a message of hope for gays: they can magically become heterosexuals. (He didn't explain how, but I suspect he thinks praying really hard would do it, as though most of us who grew up gay and evangelical hadn't tried that every night as teenagers.) Homosexuality, Pastor Warren explained in the virtually content-free language of the dogmatist, is 'not the natural way.' And then he went right for the ick factor, the way middle-school boys do: 'Certain body parts are meant to fit together...'"

response #2 by stopbush:

      Yep. That's why penises are shaped like an elongated diamond
to fit a vagina, rather than being rounded like the shape of the anus.

response #9 by scheming daemons:

      LOL... maybe this is why Warren grew a goatee... to make his mouth look like a vagina
So he could reconcile things with himself.

;-)

response #21 by Starbucks Anarchist:

      Yet his head fits his ass perfectly.

response #31 by rateyes:

      Certain body parts are meant to fit together??? Huh, I guess that's why
Dubya still picks his nose.

GDP, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8007463

On a thread by Cash_thatswhatiwant:

      Police: Suspicious wife who demands to smell husband's genitals beaten
"PORT ST. LUCIE � Police are seeking an arrest warrant for a man accused of hitting his wife after she asked to smell his penis to determine whether he was cheating with another woman, according to a police report released Wednesday.

The 37-year-old victim told investigators her husband of three years punched her face and kicked her arms and legs Monday night after she accused him of having an affair.

The victim said she told her 25-year-old husband as he used the restroom 'to display his penis to her so that she can smell it,' the report states..."

response #1 by Poll_Blind:

      When you have to inspect your mate's genitals to determine if they're lying the relationship is...
...far-gone enough you shouldn't have to smell any toodles or look for stains from your wife's who-ha in her panties- just get out of the relationship! There are toodles and who-ha's aplenty on this particular rock, and most of them belong to people honest enough they don't require a close inspection- for those reasons.

BTW, this is not the first time I've heard of toodle-sniffing. An acquaintance of mine unfortunately had such a problem with toodling other who-ha's that his girlfriend, who was my friend, regularly proposed toodle inspections.

response #3 by arcadian:

      Could you translate that into some form of vulgarity?
I'm not getting it. :rofl:

response #61 by pipi_k:

      Strangely enough...
all this talk of Whoo-has and Toodles is making me hungry

sounds like a really fun snack type thing...

:7

response #4 by Lastlaughin08:

      The Florida stories keep getting better and better..................
Wasilla East.

response #10 by Lastlaughin08:

      The state is shaped like a limp dick.
How appropriate is that?

response #16 by fla nocount:

      Only when viewed from up North.
Much more impressive when viewed from Cuba and points south. When I'm feeling inadequate I hold the map upside down.

response #9 by Sancho:

      A uniform standard for hanging chad?
Welcome to Florida!

response #27 by Lastlaughin08:

      There's something fishy about this story.

response #33 by Cash_thatswhatiwant:

      oh no....no...no....
LOL

response #46 by Vickers:

      I just asked my wife if she wanted to smell my penis.
She declined.

:(

response #52 by RoadRage:

      I just asked my husband if I could smell his junk...
He just tripped over himself running into the room with his pants around his ankles... I totally walked into that one. :evilgrin:

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4683667

On a thread by malaise:

      So Bristol Palin is about to become an unwed mother
"Bristol Palin, daughter of former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, is expecting her baby any time now. Bristol's official due date is tomorrow.

Bristol's apparently found out that she's having a little boy. Grandparents.com reports she's been getting baby presents from all over the world..."

response #2 by Vickers:

      "she's been getting baby presents from all over the world"
The Russians are actually able to lob them right into their backyard.

response #31 by SoCalDem:

      Baby name: Wrangler Levi Toughskin
:rofl:

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4685033

On a thread by hwmnbn:

      Levi Johnson's mom busted on drug charges
"A 42-year-old Wasilla woman was arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla 18-year-old who received international attention in September when Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, announced their teenage daughter was pregnant and he was the father. Bristol Palin, 18, is due on Saturday, according to a recent interview with the governor's father, Chuck Heath.

Troopers served the warrant at Johnston's home at the 'conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation,' said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state..."

response #2 by POAS:

      Baby due Saturday?
Did I miss the wedding announcement?

response #23 by Lastlaughin08:

      She'll hold delivery until 2012, more dramatic that way.

response #9 by Dr.Phool:

      We are proud to announce the birth of Eight Ball Palin.

response #24 by Somawas:

      Much nicer name than Dime Bag.

response #67 by stlsaxman:

      You mean Snick Palin, right?
or will it be Trunk, Bee, Strike or Bam-bam Palin?

response #95 by relayerbob:

      I vote for Speedball Johnson myself
it has that 21st century ring to it.

response #10 by muriel_volestrangler:

      What a soap opera
It's all building up for the Christmas special, isn't it?

response #36 by Prag:

      Dang, I must've missed the Wedding too!
I had a nice set of Pyrex Lab Beakers all wrapped up to send as a gift...

response #40 by Lastlaughin08:

      They'll combine it with the bail hearing to save renting a hall.

response #43 by Prag:

      I read in an advice column a nice corsage of lilies can be used to hide shackles quite effectively.
As the Bailiff will be armed they can save on shotgun fees, too.

It's a win-win! :thumbsup:

I love weddings! :bounce:

response #56 by Lastlaughin08:

      I always get misty at the sight of a corsage and camouflage
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

............I'm sorry.........."sniff"..............

response #18 by tomeboy:

      There's a meth-head to their madness.
:eyes:

response #21 by underpants:

      Christmas dinner....AAAWWWKWARD

response #48 by BR_Parkway:

      If the Groom's mother is wearing orange, what is the proper color for the Bride's
mother to select? What if Ms Johnston opts for the more traditional stripes instead?

Didn't they used to have newspaper columns devoted to this sort of thing? I mourn the loss of real journalism in my lifetime....

response #79 by Prag:

      Is a Wedding an Ear Flaps Up or Down occasion?
A total etiquette vacuum!

Where's the Decorum? :shrug:

Now, if Alaska were a desert area... I would suggest a nice Desert Theme which would make the Safety Orange just POP!

*sigh*

I'm forced to suggest Patty Lane's "Tuscany" Scheme.

Here... http://www.colorschemer.com/schemes/tags/desert

Where's the guidance!

response #84 by Captive America:

      Is Sarah going to let little Mopar stay with Gramma dopefiend?

response #134 by bobd0:

      Sure. Why not? Sarah won't mind if little Zamboni checks out the ice.
It's nearly a family tradition. Track had to join up to get his habit under control.

Just another day in the Palin household.

"She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man?" -- The Dude

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

LBN, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3651829

OP by EstimatedProphet:

      Generic anti-Bush sarcastic comment
Insults about Republicans. Statement to the effect that we should have all seen this coming. Proclamation that society needs overhaul, and people have to expand their attitudes.

response #1 by Liberal_Lurker:

      Obligatory K&R nt

response #5 by EstimatedProphet:

      Pseudo-sentimental recognition of K&R
Statement that more posters should have your insight.

response #9 by lame54:

      ALERTING - thread too controversial

response #13 by Marr:

      Trite, contrarian statement. n/t

response #14 by EstimatedProphet:

      Accusation of troll status

response #15 by Marr:

      Reference to sign up date. Indignant response.

response #57 by anigbrowl:

      Frenzied attack accusing other posters of misinterpretation
Many smilies to back up argument

:grr: :scared:

response #16 by Zuni:

      utterly meaningless political platitude
and expression of solidarity with original poster

response #17 by TygrBright:

      Chirpy "Can't We All Get Along?" Mush

response #39 by moggie:

      Comment about marshall (sic) law
Dark hints about internment camps.

response #20 by flvegan:

      Deleted message.

response #22 by EstimatedProphet:

      Head-scratching smilie

response #78 by kgfnally:

      Deleted subthread

response #26 by baby_mouse:

      Sighing agreement in the midst of the flames. Hi. Wave, etc, lonely here in the world of reason.

response #33 by Commie Pinko Dirtbag:

      Guessing of identity of the lots of "Ignored" posts in one of the subthreads.

response #36 by Generic Other:

      mention of place that shall not be mentioned
and snip from thread there ridiculing DU.

response #48 by Shiver:

      Baseless insult, followed by three strawmen.
Segue into ad hominem followed by several ipse-dixitisms. Insult insinuating group-think and freeper-like tendencies. End with ridiculous Argumentum ad populum and implied Reductio ad Hitlerium.

Close with disingenuous :hi: indicating the absolute opposite of what I have just said.

response #63 by Marr:

      Badly mispelled right-wing talking point. Inexplicable reference to Iwo Jima.

response #69 by boppers:

      Snippy One Liner
Completely tangential text.

:sarcasm:

response #71 by boppers:

      Angry complaint of feeling ignored
Increasingly angry and bombastic rhetoric

response #75 by boppers:

      SCREAMING DRUNK RANT
ATTENTION SEEKING ALL CAPS TROLLING TO GET SOME RESPONSE, ANY RESPONSE

response #76 by boppers:

      Apologetic whining
Self-immolating expressions of grief

response #83 by EstimatedProphet:

      Apologies for having logged off
Reminder that everyone must sleep.

response #91 by tom_paine:

      Obligatory complaint that this format, while funny the first 50 times, is now tired and old,
as egocentric and pretentiously bloviating as any it seeks to lampoon (AFTER the 50th time, mind you - it used to be VERY funny)

Confused question of the poorly entertained You mean after all this time you can't think up something NEW?

:rofl:

GD, December 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4656549

OP by jgraz:

      Please K&R this thread if you're sick of being asked to K&R threads
Seriously, if you want to be at the top of the GP, write something worth reading. If you want to play straight-up popularity contests, submit your post to Digg.

response #1 by leftstreet:

      Wreck this thread!
:o

response #9 by specimenfred1984:

      What if there was no such thing as a hypothetical question?
Splat

response #11 by Guy Whitey Corngood:

      Is this in response to my "K & R if you think I'm the coolest mutha fucka ever thread"?
:evilgrin:

response #16 by ColbertWatcher:

      DISRUPTIVE! Would kick and rec again! Bravo! n/t

The Lounge, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8338320

OP by Boojatta:

      How would you feel about a new forum: GDEO?
"E" stands for "Exit Only." In other words, it's not an entry point to threads. GDEO will show thread titles, but when you click on a thread title, nothing happens. You may ask "What purpose would it serve?"

Suppose that you want to begin a thread with a statement of purpose!

You don't want people to ignore the statement of purpose by simply scrolling down to see what comes next. You want to restrict the audience to people who are truly interested. So you begin your thread in GDEO. For example, you click on "Create thread" and type this title: "A policy that could help us avoid future economic crises." Then you type the body of your thread: a description and explanation of your policy idea. Nobody can read the body of your thread by visiting GDEO, so what's the point? That is the point! You don't want people to go directly to the policy idea. You want to have an opportunity to fully describe the purpose before anybody reads beyond your description of your purpose.

So you go to whatever forum you consider appropriate. For example, you might go to Economy or GD. You create a new thread that has exactly the same thread title that you used in GDEO. This time you voluntarily restrict yourself to an elaboration of your purpose. You don't say what the policy is. Within the thread, you include a link that is an entrance to the related thread that is in GDEO.

response #3 by MrCoffee:

      There's an idea
It's not a good idea, mind you, but it is an idea.

response #4 by MineralMan:

      Bear with me, please...I am confused....will there be cookies on GDEO?
The last time we talked, or at least the last time I posted to you, the question was whether a bear died if it ate a cookie made by someone's grandmother. I never did hear from you on that thread, so I'm still trying to puzzle that one out.

response #17 by myrna minx:

      Would the threads have to be opened at a Stargate?
:shrug:

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4684351

On a locked thread:

      The folks in GD-P are an insult to progressives and liberals

response #26 by huskerlaw:

      Locking.
What happens in GDP stays in GDP. Oh wait, that's Vegas...

Regardless, please leave GDP problems in GDP. Thanks.

huskerlaw
DU Moderator

The Lounge, December 17, 2008

On a thread by Drunken Irishman:

      Good to see WW XXV has started here at DU.

response #7 by krispos42:

      It's called "Job Security" for me...
:-)

The Lounge, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8336998

On a thread by Hubert Flottz:

      HOT DAMN...times are even hard here on DU...

response #1 by Swamp Rat

GD, December 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4644378

On a thread by underpants:

      Chief: Gov. Palin's home church damaged by arson

response #54 by Judi Lynn

LBN, December 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644105

On a thread by bigworld:

      Bush makes surprise farewell visit to Iraq

response #2 by SpiralHawk

response #5 by DemoTex

LBN, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644299

On a thread by proud2Blib:

      Man throws shoes at Bush in Iraq

response #243 by Neo

LBN, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3644551

OP by Hepburn:

      I regret that I have only one pair of pointy-toe asskickers to give for my country.

response #1 by sfexpat2000

response #3 by babylonsister

response #9 by malaise

response #12 by Hepburn

GD, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4650193

On a thread by Just A Yeller Dawg:

      Was there a second shoeter?

response #51 by Number23

response #66 by Sylvian Beehive

GD, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4651027

OP by Dangerously Amused:

      Throw Your Virtual Shoe at Bush!

GD, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4653616

OP by kentuck:

      Caption Maliki...

response #1 by BeatleBoot

response #2 by malaise

response #3 by halo experiment

response #4 by 4MoronicYears

response #8 by Lastlaughin08

response #9 by jimshoes

response #23 by chrisa

GD, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4652050

OP by Bucky:

      Does Obama's PE address studio look kinda Spartan here?

GDP, December 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7979253

On a thread by Longhorn:

      Could someone help me with my Christmas photo?

response #17 by DS1

The Lounge, December 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8332589

OP by DinoBoy:

      I saw the most RIDICULOUS sign coming home from work today

response #14 by jpak

response #15 by WinkyDink

The Lounge, December 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8339517

On a thread by DainBramaged:

      Chuck Todd's "No-Cut" Contract with NBC named today as chief White House correspondent

response #1 by Botany

GD, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4684621

On a thread by Turborama:

      Music Industry to Abandon Mass Suits

response #3 by rocknation

LBN, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3652369

On a thread by hwmnbn:

      Levi Johnson's mom busted on drug charges

response #82 by alfredo

LBN, December 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3651829