Getting directions in Louisiana

[HysteryDiagnosis]

Rule number one when giving directions:

Do not use the actual names of the roads you are describing, this is tantamount to treason. Knowing where the Cajun Minimart or the levee is helpful if not essential.

Second rule number one:

Do not give approximate distances... better to say where the big oak tree is, (or was if it has been removed) or where the trees end and you come out into the open.... or better yet, just follow the levee until it ends then keep going.

Third rule number one:

If there are a head of cattle somewhere use that as a marker, (nevermind the fact that cattle have feet and do move) if no cattle are available, sheep, chickens or a flock of crows will do.

Rule number two:

If a person asks you if so and so is near such and such just ignore that question and go on about how it's near the lake, tree, swamp, bridge, or place where they used to have Mardi Gras.

Rule number three:

Never use Mapquest. Even if someone simply asks you for a mapquest, give them the telephone number of the person they are to see so that they can invoke the first three number one rules and drive you absolutely batshit crazy.

Now, how did I get here? That's right, I turned where the road curves left then right and kept going until it ended then I went just a few more miles and here I am.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

1. At first i thought you meant Los Angeles

& couldnt figger out wth you were talking about. :* :)

[HysteryDiagnosis]

2. Gonna edit that... sorry... n/t

[A-Schwarzenegger]

8. Naw, I laughed.

:hi:

[HysteryDiagnosis]

9. Then my work is finished here..... now if I can just find where I

parked my car, oh yes, near that wrigleys wrapper over yonder.


ON EDIT TO ADD: I am not being haunted by triangles any longer.

[Pamela Troy]

3. It's also essential to refer to landmarks like "that big house lot where

the Robichauxs live " or "The minimart where Hebert's drugstore used to stand before Betsy hit back in '66."

[HysteryDiagnosis]

4. Damn it to hell.... frustrating for the uninitiated... gritting teeth and

typing at the same time... next is walking and chewing gum.

[jody]

5. I'm offended by you making fun of my relatives.

Emily Sue died and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator
told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How `bout if
I drag Her over to Oak Street and you pick Her up
there?"

:toast: :hi:

[HysteryDiagnosis]

6. Damn it to hell.... now that's remarkably hilarious!! Have another

beer on me... sheh...

[Fire1]

7. ROTFL!!!

:rofl:

[dixiegrrrrl]

10. Funny you should mention it...

The location of a NEW shop was printed in our lil town weekly.
Said location is "Next to where Red's Bar B Q was until ( Hurricane -2004 ) Ivan".

And another store is advertised as being " catti cornered from the Water Tower".
( there are 3 streets to choose from).

and by the way, we live in the " Old Rev. Stilwell" house...
he lived here 25 years and 3 owners ago.

[gratuitous]

11. Aw shewt, I can give yew direkshuns

All right, you wanna know how to get there, right? From here, right? (No dingleberry brain, from downtown Gotham City, I gotta pick up Batman first.)

After a series of incomprehensible directions with imprecise distances, you're almost there. As soon as you turn right where the Hendersons had that goat tied up for all those years, you go over the bridge that used to be painted green, head on for a while, and then . . . (cue words to send a chill down anyone's spine) You can't miss it!

Unless of course, you go over the bridge that is actually painted green, then you're going to wish you'd brought Batman along after all. Or a banjo.

[Are_grits_groceries]

12. Same in SC.

Every direction comes with a story.