Jonah Goldberg Offers Seminar On Rewriting History

[20score]

“Our motto is: Whatever you write - that’s what happened,” said Jonah Goldberg in his opening remarks to class full aspiring pundits and hacks. “We aim to make you completely oblivious to facts, history and common sense. Why, by Monday night you should be able to go on Fox News and say with a straight face that FDR caused the Great Depression, Martin Luther King was conservative and Hitler was a liberal.”

The $5,000.00 weekend seminar is being touted in News Max and on Hannity’s radio show as an indispensable stepping-stone in right wing punditry. Regent University historian Frank Lee Twisted, an unabashed Bush admirer, went even further and said “History is now dead and being resurrected by Mr. Goldberg.” When interviewed after the seminar, Professor Twisted stated that he will “never be bound by ordinary restraints again. Jonah showed me that not only is it possible to change excepted history, but it’s easy! Anyone you like – conservative; anyone you dislike – liberal. Jesus was ultra-conservative, same with Gandhi, King and Mother Teresa. Hitler, neo-nazis, the KKK and Timothy McVeigh – liberal. See? Easy!”

“Jonah’s a pro,” said Laura Ingraham. “He not only shows the newbies how to rewrite history to aid in shaping the present, but he also shows the seasoned vets like me how to properly use projection in our propaganda, er, I mean commentary. His latest column is a perfect example; Jonah is outraged that Obama said he did not want to let a disaster go to waste, meaning we can come out ahead if we learn a lesson from something bad. Kind of like finding a silver lining. But Jonah turned it on its head and implied that Obama wanted to profit and abuse the American public… just like Bush did. Neat, uh?”

[babylonsister]

1. Rec'd for title alone! nt

[20score]

4. Gracias, Babylonsister!

[AlCzervik]

2. someone's been huffing the Cheeto dust again.

[BrklynLiberal]

3. If this is true, I hope someone tapes it and posts it on uTube so everyone

can see the crap in action....

[Tangerine LaBamba]

5. Oh, come now

PROFESSOR TWISTED????

From Regent University?

Really?

I googled his name, and he doesn't even have any publications. Some "historian." But, after all, it is Regent University - Pat Robertson's little piece of Christian/academic heaven.

It sounds more like something from The Onion.

Professor Twisted in the lavatory with a power drill...............................

[20score]

6. Nope, Frank Lee Twisted is unpublished.

[paulsby]

8. it's a spoof with poor grammar/spelling

see: "excepted"

[Tangerine LaBamba]

9. That was my first thought,

although that spelling error went past me (it's late here, in my defense), but, you know, it sounds like something a moran like Goldberg might do, and the Ingraham quote was believable.

I meant to ask for a link, but forgot that.

Time to go to sleep, I guess.

Thanks for the catch.

:toast:

[20score]

10. Accepted.

[suede1]

11. Wow, you are unbelievably rude. I've been reading 20score's satire for months

and he's one of the best on this site. Was there really a need to insult?

You're an ass.

And good job 20score, again!

[paulsby]

13. i didn't realize

HE wrote it. i thought it was unattributed and we were supposed to guess where it came from.

my bad.

[20score]

14. Thanks.

[ProfessorGAC]

15. LOL! The Onion!

I started thinking the same thing as i was reading it. When i got to the "Twisted" quotes and then Laura Ingraham, i was certain i was reading an Onion parody piece.

GAC

[Urban Prairie]

7. Read the columnists' blogs on Townhall.

Most of them are political history revisionists, rabble rousers and spin doctors. One that appears to be on a level with Malkin and Coulter on the pure liberal hatred and viciousness scale is Doug Giles.

[wroberts189]

12. No link? This is just a joke? ...sorry its really hard to tell anymore with these idiots

They know no bounds of unreality.


You really need a sarcasm/joke notation these days.

[punkin87]

16. Very good! K&R

(And mistaking except for accept does not make poor grammar / spelling.)

[20score]

17. Thanks!

I don't like making mistakes, but... anyway, thanks.

[ihavenobias]

18. K & R # 8

Goldberg's level of insanity and obnoxiousness continues to reach new heights.

[20score]

19. Thanks!