Many Boston teens surveyed say Rihanna is at fault for assault

[Mosby]

Here's a conversation starter: Nearly half of the 200 Boston teenagers interviewed for an informal poll said pop star Rihanna was responsible for the beating she allegedly took at the hands of her boyfriend, fellow music star Chris Brown, in February.

Of those questioned, ages 12 to 19, 71 percent said that arguing was a normal part of a relationship; 44 percent said fighting was a routine occurrence.

The results of the survey, conducted by the Boston Public Health Commission across the city and equally among boys and girls, are startling for local health workers who see a generation of youths who seem to have grown accustomed, even insensitive, to domestic violence.

"I think you'd have to be pretty jaded if you weren't startled by it," said Casey Corcoran, director of the health commission's new Start Strong program.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/03/13/many_boston_teens_surveyed_say_rihanna_is_at_fault_for_assault/

[Triana]

1. SO. The 'blame the victim' propaganda campaign is working. n/t

[Renew Deal]

12. Where is there proof of "blame the victim" propoganda in this case?

I'd like to see that.

[Ilsa]

31. Self-deleted.

[Triana]

32. What the hell PLANET DO you live on?

Pry your eyes open.

[Renew Deal]

36. Right

So there is none.

[Triana]

47. Not going to waste time on you jackass

Guys like you are what ignore is for.

[Renew Deal]

53. Ignore for the ignorant

Can't make your point, so you hide. Big loss. :eyes:

[Political Heretic]

60. I think this person thinks your meaning there's no proof she was a victim

Hence all the vitriol....

[Jamastiene]

75. Way ahead of ya there.

I don't even care who Ignored is either. :toast:

[Political Heretic]

40. Which way do you mean: proof of people blaming Rihanna in the media or proof that she was in fact

...a victim of a violent assault?

[Renew Deal]

54. Proof of people blaming Rihanna...

:shrug:

I've seen criticism of her for staying with him, but I haven't seen anyone even remotely credible saying she deserved it.

[Political Heretic]

59. I haven't in the media, but I have here at DU

The thread which was quoting the Newsweek Article about 10 Myths about Domestic Violence is a great example. There was multiple exchanges about how she should have been prosecuted for DV because she "started" it with a slap, and they escalated into full blown implying she "got what she deserved"

It was horrific.

Search for "Newsweek" in general discussion for the last week and I'm sure you'll find it.

[bluestateguy]

2. She's not at fault, but why has she not left him?

It's not like she's economically dependent upon him. She's a wealthy woman who can provide very well for herself. I am puzzled as to why she has not left Brown.

[NashVegas]

17. Because People With Financial Investments In Their (But Mostly His) Career

Are trying desperately to prop up their investments.

[Political Heretic]

43. Because challenges in leaving an abusive partner extend well beyond mere financial ability to leave

Unfortunately, much of the public is grossly under-informed when it comes to the biopsychosocial impact of intimate partner violence (IPV). Thus we have have lot of honest questions (like why don't they just leave?) that are fair but uninformed. Tragically most of the organizations that can provide better public education about IPV are federal, which means people have to go looking for the information, the information doesn't come to them.

What we need is better local IPV community organizations to engage in ongoing public education and awareness raising campaigns.

In short, financially well off women who are victims of intimate partner abuse have only one of several obstacles to leaving removed from them - money may not be a problem, but there are many emotional and practical barriers. In short, leaving an abusive partner is simply never easy.

Now that said, some people struggle with sympathy for a well-off victim when people like me aren't honest in characterizing the person. So I will acknowledge that its very possible that Rihanna, as a celebrity, is actually more concerned about her image or career than even her emotional or physical health, and that this is part of her decision to stay. I hear she and Chris were in the studio writing a new Duet together, and that is pretty disturbing as far as I'm concerned.

Still, in my view this just underscores the many kinds of psychosocial obstacles to leaving and abuser that exist - including some of the self-destructive ones. Does that mean we should be less sympathetic toward a victim of IPV? No, I don't think so.

[Threedifferentones]

55. She has no practical barriers to leaving

She could have a fucking helicopter come pick her up at a moments notice. She could prevent him from ever seeing her again with a word to her bodyguard. Money does overcome any "practical" barrier, she can "practically" do about anything she wants with her money and fame. I guess she might worry that leaving him would piss off some big-wigs in her music biz, but I just don't see leaving CB as a career threatening move. In fact, it would probably win her fans.

She obviously has emotional difficulties in leaving, otherwise she would have left. Perhaps those consist of misguided feelings for him, or maybe she does not want to disappoint their "friends" such as Diddy.

My guess is that she had a rough childhood, and has grown to accept, or even want, an abusive partner. I doubt Mr. Brown was the first to do this to her, and wish she would think better of herself and get away from such assholes. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home.

[Political Heretic]

61. Nothing personal meant here, but your post sort of reinforces all I was saying before.

We need much better public education about what happens in cases of IPV. The whole "she could take a helicopter and get out" thing is a pretty strong example of that fact.

Incidentally, the "she probably wants it" line of arguing is one of those things that can sometimes seem like common sense to people without much expertise in IPV, but has been largely unsupported by any evidence base to date.

[Threedifferentones]

71. Yeah

She must be held back by the huge list of material obstacles you listed...

Oh wait.

I admit this is a rough analogy, but I'm in a bit of a hurry: Someone doing heroine everyday may not "want" to be an addict, but you can bet they will look for more tomorrow. You can similarly point out that just because Rihanna feels a strange psychological dependency on abuse does not mean she "wants" to be exploited by her boyfriend.

Nonetheless, she is making the choice with every option wide open to her. She may not really "want" what she is going to get, but we all see it coming and she keeps going anyway.

I think the description "Rihanna on some level wants the abuse she is returning to" holds up pretty well for the situation.

I know pointing this out makes me guilty of "blaming the victim," but just because victims never deserve most of the blame does not mean they never deserve any of the blame. You are responsible, at least to some extent, for what you can control, and Rihanna obviously has the "social capital" to live her life as she pleases. If you have the power to do anything you want, and you work to become as close as possible to an abusive person, what does that say?

I'm sure there is a more accurate and eloquent way to say it than "she wants the abuse," since that does seem to place a majority of the blame on her, and it would be fairer of us to blame the people who nurtured this sick dependency in her as a child. Still, it is not an inaccurate statement in this case.

[dustbunnie]

68. If you don't think there are dozens of people involved in this whole thing -

then you have a very naive point of view. These two are products of an industry and are worth millions to lots of people.

You can't say with any certainty whether they "really" are together again, or if this is just media image handling. It's just as possible that she hates his guts at this point but is behaving as her/his people have decreed to avoid massive profit losses for both camps.

And finally, that duet is going to be a HUGE hit due to all the continuing hype. NashVegas is absolutely correct in his/her assessment.

[Political Heretic]

72. And you're addressing this to me.... why?

Think this only amplifies my point about it being complicated.

[dustbunnie]

82. I was addressing your post where you discuss her supposed mindset -

as well as "emotional and practical" barriers. No one really knows what her mindset is, or the circumstances that lie behind what's thrown out at the public by image consultants and industry insiders.

I don't see how that makes anything complicated at all. If anything, the explanation for her actions may be incredibly simple and motivated by money.

[Political Heretic]

87. And... I pretty much said exactly that.

See, after the part where I - correctly - point out that "much of the public is grossly under-informed when it comes to the biopsychosocial impact of intimate partner violence (IPV)"...

And then after the point where I - also correctly - point out that "In short, financially well off women who are victims of intimate partner abuse have only one of several obstacles to leaving removed from them - money may not be a problem, but there are many emotional and practical barriers." -- note the use of "may" in that statement, and also the reference to women beyond Rihanna's specific case.....

I THEN GO ON TO SAY:

I will acknowledge that its very possible that Rihanna, as a celebrity, is actually more concerned about her image or career than even her emotional or physical health, and that this is part of her decision to stay.

Amazing!

[Ken Burch]

80. It takes the average victim of domestic violence 6 to 8 attempts to finally leave her abuser

(and I meant "her abuser", because the "what about battered men?" creeps need to be reminded that violence against men by women is rare to near-nonexistent, so gender-neutral language is not needed on this point).

The abuser has almost always created a huge psychology of dependence within the mind of his victim, convincing her that she is nothing, that she can't make it without him.

This is just as much the case if the victim is wealthy and famous as it is if she's working the graveyard shift at Denny's.

(For historical background, look at the Frank Sinatra-Ava Gardner relationship).

[Uzybone]

3. Pretty sad

Rihanna should have bolted when this first happened. I'm pretty sure this assault was not the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time.

[WI_DEM]

4. Well my guess then is that some of these kids see or have experienced this kind of abuse

and think its normal.

[Mosby]

7. Do you think that exposure to TV and video game violence

may play a role in this apparent acceptance of violence in relationships?

[Lost in CT]

10. Well since violence in relationships has dropped over the last thirty years

I would guess no.

[Uzybone]

11. Not the video games again

Are they to blame for all the violence in the world?

[Mosby]

15. Not all but some

VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES CAN INCREASE AGGRESSION

WASHINGTON - Playing violent video games like Doom, Wolfenstein 3D or Mortal Kombat can increase a person's aggressive thoughts, feelings and behavior both in laboratory settings and in actual life, according to two studies appearing in the April issue of the American Psychological Association's (APA) Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Furthermore, violent video games may be more harmful than violent television and movies because they are interactive, very engrossing and require the player to identify with the aggressor, say the researchers.

"One study reveals that young men who are habitually aggressive may be especially vulnerable to the aggression-enhancing effects of repeated exposure to violent games," said psychologists Craig A. Anderson, Ph.D., and Karen E. Dill, Ph.D. "The other study reveals that even a brief exposure to violent video games can temporarily increase aggressive behavior in all types of participants."

snip

"Violent video games provide a forum for learning and practicing aggressive solutions to conflict situations," said Dr. Anderson. "In the short run, playing a violent video game appears to affect aggression by priming aggressive thoughts. Longer-term effects are likely to be longer lasting as well, as the player learns and practices new aggression-related scripts that can become more and more accessible for use when real-life conflict situations arise."

http://www.apa.org/releases/videogames.html

[Lost in CT]

63. That study was proven time and again to be a bunch or horseshit...

And honestly Craig and Karen should be banned from practicing medicine after that travesty....

They are no better than the Eugenics scientists of the early twentieth century.

[Mosby]

65. Do you have a link for that assertion?

FYI they are both PhD level psychologists, not MDs.

[Lost in CT]

69. Well admittedly the defenders of video games include diploma mills like Harvard

as well as tabloids such as The British Medical Journal and The Journal of Adolescent Health.

But just to state the obvious.... youth violence in America has been on a downward trend the more popular video games have become.

And studies have shown that not playing videogames and other anti-social behavior can increase the likelihood of violence. (Much like being sexually repressed increases the likelihood of being a rapist)

Here are some of dozens of links.


http://www.mentalhealthandmedia.org/current_projects/index.html


http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/121556773/PDFSTART

http://www.theesa.com/facts/

http://www.computing.co.uk/vnunet/news/2184836/link-video-games-violent-teens

In December 2001, Surgeon General of the United States David Satcher, M.D., Ph.D., led a study on violence in youth and determined that while the impact of video games on violent behavior has yet to be determined, "findings suggest that media violence has a relatively small impact on violence." The report stated:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23204875/

Several major studies by groups such as The Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health, The Journal of Adolescent Health, and The British Medical Journal have shown no conclusive link between video game usage and violent activity.

[Arkansas Granny]

21. Of course they aren't to blame for all the violence. I do think, however,

that when violence is used as entertainment that children (and adults too, for that matter) become desensitized to it and the violence is not as abhorrent to them as it should be. I monitored what my kids watched for violent content when they were young.

[Lost in CT]

62. Didn't you get the memo there was no wars or violence before 1982... nt

[WI_DEM]

20. that too

[L0oniX]

23. ..more that they see it with their own parents.

Hey at least when these spouse beaters get reported they can't legally buy a gun after that.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

33. Somehow my beating hookers in GTA has not translated into beating my wife

Amazing.

[Mosby]

50. You probably don't have an aggressive personality

From the article:

"One study reveals that young men who are habitually aggressive may be especially vulnerable to the aggression-enhancing effects of repeated exposure to violent games,"

[Political Heretic]

52. We need a study to tell us this?

The problem again is not "games" but their responsible use by adults and the responsible guidance of parents with their own families.

[Lost in CT]

64. And guess what

young men who are habitually aggressive are still so even if they don't play games (See virginia Tech shooter)

As I state above that study is disproven horseshit and the so called doctors who wrote it should be thrown out of whatever profession let them in.

[Mosby]

66. There has been 40+ years of research in this area

Myths and Facts
Myth 1. Violent video game research has yielded very mixed results.
Facts: Some studies have yielded nonsignificant video game effects, just as some smoking studies failed to find a significant link to lung cancer. But when one combines all relevant empirical studies using meta-analytic techniques, five separate effects emerge with considerable consistency. Violent video games are significantly associated with: increased aggressive behavior, thoughts, and affect; increased physiological arousal; and decreased prosocial (helping) behavior. Average effect sizes for experimental studies (which help establish causality) and correlational studies (which allow examination of serious violent behavior) appear comparable (Anderson & Bushman, 2001).

Myth 2. The studies that find significant effects are the weakest methodologically.
Facts: Methodologically stronger studies have yielded the largest effects (Anderson, in press). Thus, earlier effect size estimates —based on all video game studies— probably underestimate the actual effect sizes.

Myth 3. Laboratory experiments are irrelevant (trivial measures, demand characteristics, lack external validity).
Facts: Arguments against laboratory experiments in behavioral sciences have been successfully debunked many times by numerous researchers over the years. Specific examinations of such issues in the aggression domain have consistently found evidence of high external validity. For example, variables known to influence real world aggression and violence have the same effects on laboratory measures of aggression (Anderson & Bushman, 1997).

Myth 4. Field experiments are irrelevant (aggression measures based either on direct imitation of video game behaviors (e.g., karate kicks) or are normal play behaviors.
Facts: Some field experiments have used behaviors such as biting, pinching, hitting, pushing, and pulling hair, behaviors that were not modeled in the game. The fact that these aggressive behaviors occur in natural environments does not make them "normal" play behavior, but it does increase the face validity (and some would argue the external validity) of the measures.

Myth 5. Correlational studies are irrelevant.
Facts: The overly simplistic mantra, "Correlation is not causation," is useful when teaching introductory students the risks in too-readily drawing causal conclusions from a simple empirical correlation between two measured variables. However, correlational studies are routinely used in modern science to test theories that are inherently causal. Whole scientific fields are based on correlational data (e.g., astronomy). Well conducted correlational studies provide opportunities for theory falsification. They allow examination of serious acts of aggression that would be unethical to study in experimental contexts. They allow for statistical controls of plausible alternative explanations.

Myth 6. There are no studies linking violent video game play to serious aggression.
Facts: High levels of violent video game exposure have been linked to delinquency, fighting at school and during free play periods, and violent criminal behavior (e.g., self-reported assault, robbery).

Myth 7. Violent video games affect only a small fraction of players.
Facts: Though there are good theoretical reasons to expect some populations to be more susceptible to violent video game effects than others, the research literature has not yet substantiated this. That is, there is not consistent evidence for the claim that younger children are more negatively affected than adolescents or young adults or that males are more affected than females. There is some evidence that highly aggressive individuals are more affected than nonaggressive individuals, but this finding does not consistently occur. Even nonaggressive individuals are consistently affected by brief exposures. Further research will likely find some significant moderators of violent video game effects, because the much larger research literature on television violence has found such effects and the underlying processes are the same. However, even that larger literature has not identified a sizeable population that is totally immune to negative effects of media violence.

Myth 8. Unrealistic video game violence is completely safe for adolescents and older youths.
Facts: Cartoonish and fantasy violence is often perceived (incorrectly) by parents and public policy makers as safe even for children. However, experimental studies with college students have consistently found increased aggression after exposure to clearly unrealistic and fantasy violent video games. Indeed, at least one recent study found significant increases in aggression by college students after playing E-rated (suitable for everyone) violent video games.

Myth 9. The effects of violent video games are trivially small.
Facts: Meta-analyses reveal that violent video game effect sizes are larger than the effect of second hand tobacco smoke on lung cancer, the effect of lead exposure to I.Q. scores in children, and calcium intake on bone mass. Furthermore, the fact that so many youths are exposed to such high levels of video game violence further increases the societal costs of this risk factor (Rosenthal, 1986).

Myth 10. Arousal, not violent content, accounts for video game induced increases in aggression.
Facts: Arousal cannot explain the results of most correlational studies because the measured aggression did not occur immediately after the violent video games were played. Furthermore, several experimental studies have controlled potential arousal effects, and still yielded more aggression by those who played the violent game.

Myth 11. If violent video games cause increases in aggression, violent crime rates in the U.S. would be increasing instead of decreasing.
Facts: Three assumptions must all be true for this myth to be valid: (a) exposure to violent media (including video games) is increasing; (b) youth violent crime rates are decreasing; (c) video game violence is the only (or the primary) factor contributing to societal violence. The first assumption is probably true. The second is not true, as reported by the 2001 Report of the Surgeon General on Youth Violence (Figure 2-7, p. 25). The third is clearly untrue. Media violence is only one of many factors that contribute to societal violence and is certainly not the most important one. Media violence researchers have repeatedly noted this.

Theory
One frequently overlooked factor in this debate is the role of scientific theory. Pure empirical facts often have relatively little meaning and are seldom convincing. When those same facts fit a broader theory, especially one that has been tested in other contexts, those facts become more understandable and convincing. Recent years have seen considerable progress in basic theoretical models of human aggression (for recent integrations see Anderson & Bushman, 2002b; Anderson & Huesmann, in press; Anderson & Carnagey, in press).

Most such models take a social cognitive view of human aggression, integrating social learning theory, advances in cognitive psychology, script theory, developmental theories, and biological influences. Using such general models, media violence scholars now have a clear picture of how media violence increases aggression in short and long term contexts. Immediately after exposure to media violence, there is an increase in aggressive behavior tendencies because of several factors. 1. Aggressive thoughts increase, which in turn increase the likelihood that a mild or ambiguous provocation will be interpreted in a hostile fashion. 2. Aggressive affect increases. 3. General arousal (e.g., heart rate) increases, which tends to increase the dominant behavioral tendency. 4. Direct imitation of recently observed aggressive behaviors sometimes occurs.

Repeated media violence exposure increases aggression across the lifespan because of several related factors. 1. It creates more positive attitudes, beliefs, and expectations regarding use of aggressive solutions. 2. It creates aggressive behavioral scripts and makes them more cognitively accessible. 3. It decreases the accessibility of nonviolent scripts. 4. It decreases the normal negative emotional reactions to conflict, aggression, and violence.

Unanswered Questions
Several major gaps remain in the violent video game literature. One especially large gap is the lack of longitudinal studies testing the link between habitual violent video game exposure and later aggression, while controlling for earlier levels of aggression and other risk factors. Indeed, of the four major types of empirical studies mentioned earlier, this is the only type missing. There are such studies focusing on television violence but none on video games.

Another gap concerns potential differences in effect sizes of television versus video game violence. There are theoretical reasons to believe that violent video game effects may prove larger, primarily because of the active and repetitive learning aspects of video games. However, this is a very difficult question to investigate, especially with experimental designs. How does one select violent video game and television stimuli that are matched on other dimensions? On what dimensions should they be equivalent? Number of bodies? Amount of blood and gore? Realism of the images? There are a couple of unpublished correlational studies that have compared the effects of television and video game violence on aggression, using comparable measures of violence exposure. Both yielded results suggesting a larger effect of video game violence. But the issue is not settled.

Finally, more research is needed to: (a) refine emerging general models of human aggression; (b) delineate the processes underlying short and long term media violence effects; (c) broaden these models to encompass aggression at the level of subcultures and nations. Several different research groups around the world are working on these various issues.

http://www.apa.org/science/psa/sb-anderson.html

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

70. LOL

You don't know me very well.

[Political Heretic]

51. No.*

* Violent games or TV itself is not a cause. You can prove this simply by the number of people, like me, who grew up playing Doom, Wolfenstien, and other bloody shooters and loved Terminator, Lethal Weapon and god knows what other violent movies as a kid who grew up completely non-violent. In fact, I'm a damn social worker now! :D

In my development there was a healthy break between fiction and reality, between fantasy entertainment and social interaction. So the problem in the end isn't "games" or "Teevee" - its developmental environments in which the proper guidance and nurturing is absent. This is the key.

[Jamastiene]

78. Violence has been here since long before video games.

and violence has been at the very least tolerated as somewhat normal since long before video games even existed too. It's not about video games. It's about how people think.

[DailyGrind51]

94. High schools and middle-schools seldom go through a day without, at least, one act of violence.

Kids don't know the meaning of "peaceful resolution" of disputes. Not a day goes by when some kid doesn't get dragged into the principal or dean's office because he or she slugged, kicked, or pushed some other kid.

[barbtries]

5. i want to know

the answers by gender. because if girls believe it as much as boys, that is shocking. either way it's wrong. arguing is normal in relationships, i'll buy that. not fighting, not abuse, whether it be physical mental or verbal.

eta i read the article, and it does not break down the responses by sex. it also describes a program which based on these poll results, is necessary. a sad commentary on where we are in our society.

[Mosby]

6. That would have been useful info

Even without a breakdown by gender, the results are very shocking.

[Warpy]

8. Don't forget that teenagers think rape is OK if the guy paid for dinner

or if the girl was wearing a short skirt. Teenagers think a lot of really crazy shit. They're teenagers.

They don't wise up until their mid 20s or even close to 30.

This is nothing new. I can remember kids thinking this way in the 60s

[Jamastiene]

77. It's not just teenagers that think like that.

Far too many adults think the same way too. It's sickening.

[marshall]

9. OJ's mother had the same mentality about the death of Nicole Brown

The reports I read said the Mother Simpson was quoted as saying "I knew the bitch would drive him to it" upon hearing that her former daughter in law had been murdered. In other words Mother Simpson assumed that her son had done the deed but inexplicably blamed the victim.

[noiretextatique]

44. a lot of people blamed nicole

including my crazy ass cousin. it's sickening.

[dustbunnie]

13. Teenagers are often idiots. That's why parents have nervous breakdowns raising them.

The world of bully or be bullied is a fact of daily life for many kids. Lots of them think that's "okay" too.

Add to that the idiotic crushes they have on pop stars, and the like. Plus, most of them have been inundated with rumors and gossip that Rihanna gave him herpes and that they were both "fighting." Real informed opinions most of them have, I'm sure. :eyes:

I don't find their stupid responses shocking, but rather expected.

[Renew Deal]

14. How was the question asked?

Because "fighting" doesn't have to mean physical. It can be interchangeable with "arguing." The responders might not have understood it as violence.

[lukasahero]

34. I don't have a link but there were several questions - they understood

At least one of the responses was 'maybe he hit her too hard'. They knew they were talking about physical violence.

This is being covered pretty substantially by NPR here in MA.

[NashVegas]

16. Unsupervised Children Rip Each Other To Shreds

And we have more of them than at any time in history. So why be surprised? After all, "she started it."

[Ron Green]

18. There's some strange ideas in Hip-Hop Nation.

[ellacott]

22. It's not confined to Hip Hop

This is a universal problem.

[firedupdem]

30. Thank you.... n/t

[petronius]

29. Ice Cube had something to say about that:

Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It

It's way to simple to say that this set of ideas is confined to any community - violence and misogyny is a national issue...

[LostinVA]

19. How did it break down by gender?

I couldn't find that info, but I bet it would be illuminating.

[lumberjack_jeff]

24. I asked the same question about the UK poll

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/documents/violence-against-women-poll?view=Binary

The survey found that 20% of women and 15% of men thought it was okay for men to slap or hit their partner for "nagging or constantly moaning at him"

"Enlightening" implies that it doesn't simply confirm a stereotype. I'd say this qualifies.

The problem is both bigger and not as binary as we think.

[maxsolomon]

25. emotionally, teens are barely removed from their toddler years

the childhood obsession with "who started it", and "fairness" is still present, because they are mired in self.

if "she started it", then she's at fault (at least partially) no matter what his reaction is - or over-reaction. otherwise, it wouldn't be "fair".

children are largely stupid & selfish. that's why they don't get to vote. or drive.

and, to be "fair" to chris brown, rhianna shouldn't have "started it" - violence between lovers is not acceptable PERIOD. it doesn't matter if "a girl can't hurt a boy", no one deserves to be hit. all the violence in my relationships has been one-way - her hitting me.

[dustbunnie]

26. Lol, you've taken me back a few years. Smack on.

:D

[CTyankee]

42. That's why kids are given classes in anger control and domestic violence.

If they are not, they should be. It needs to be emphasized again and again. If it happened in your home then the offender should not blame the victim and neither should anyone else. It is essential that kids get this kind of training. Their very lives could one day depend on it...

[tigereye]

27. that's very troubling - all the teens I see for work get a big lecture about

how intimate partner violence isn't a normal part of a relationship...

[Deja Q]

28. DId mommy and daddy tell them that? Their peers? The media? Or did they think all by themselves?

You can guess which one is the token answer: Thinking by themselves. If you can call it 'thought'.

[AlCzervik]

35. It's not just those kids, local radio here trashed Rihanna right after the story came out

the on air personalities and the callers.

[ddeclue]

37. I SOOO don't care about this entertainment tonight crap...

it's just lurid E-news and belongs in the lounge if at DU at all.

[lukasahero]

41. This isn't about the incident but rather about how young people view DV

And it damn well belongs in GD.

[ddeclue]

45. NO it's just a fig leaf way to talk about celebrity crap on DU...

if you want to talk about DV leave the celebrities out of it.

[lukasahero]

48. whatever. eom

[ceile]

57. Riiiight.

:eyes:

[Jamastiene]

79. Learn to use Hide Thread then.

And quit dissing The Lounge.

[Deja Q]

91. Normally I'd agree, but the OP introduced a new take -- reactions from their peers.

For once, this is the sort of article that DOES belong in GD.

Our youth think what's going on is acceptable.

It is NOT acceptable.

[Political Heretic]

38. You can thank DU for passing the meme along.

Seriously, some of the threads on Rihanna have been just disgusting.

[CTyankee]

46. Tell me about it. I started one of those threads (about why there wasn't more outrage on DU about

Rihanna) and some people were just furious. Besides, it was all being covered in the Lounge so why was I trying to stir up stuff in GD. I was called a "net nanny" by one DUer.

It was quite revealing actually. Spoke volumes about some of our fellow DUers, I must say...

[redqueen]

67. Yep.

It's very sad to see.

[anonymous171]

39. Fighting can mean different things. This poll is flawed. nt

[dana_b]

49. that's what I thought

arguing and fighting can be normal - violence is not acceptable. "Normal" and "fighting" are subjective terms anyway. Maybe to these kids fighting includes violence.

Anyway - it's a bogus poll.

[crimsonblue]

56. was this poll scientific?

If not, it has absolutely no validity.

[FLAprogressive]

58. WOW. That's sad......

[steelmania75]

73. Brown beat her up, so it was his fault

[Jamastiene]

74. I'm not surprised at all.

It has nothing to do with age though. That's our society's attitude toward women coming from all age groups AND genders. Yes, some women have that same mentality too. It's sickening.

[seabeyond]

84. hit the nail on the head.... n/t

[Nikki Stone1]

88. It starts with Disney movies where the heroine says, "It's all my fault!" when it had

nothing to do with her or anything she did. Males want to blame women for their own lack of control.

[and-justice-for-all]

76. That's fucked up...nt

[Retired AF Dem]

81. Why does

Boston breed the most idiots and racists? I have known more cross burners from Boston than from Alabama. Weird.

[JerseygirlCT]

83. That's terribly sad. nt

[DailyGrind51]

85. Rihanna's only "fault" was sticking with that glorified thug!

[Kat45]

86. Here's a little more breakdown of the survey results:

Corcoran’s program, housed in the Commission’s Division of Violence Prevention, surveyed 200 Boston
youth ages 12 to 19, between Feb. 13 and 20, using the Chris Brown-Rihanna case to gauge their
attitudes toward teen dating violence; 100 percent of those surveyed had heard about the incident.
Among the findings:

* 71% said arguing was a normal part of a relationship
* 44% said fighting was a normal part of a relationship
* 51% said Chris Brown was responsible for the incident
* 46% said Rihanna was responsible for the incident
* 52% said both individuals were to blame for the incident, despite knowing at the time that
Rihanna had been beaten badly enough to require hospital treatment
* 35% said the media were treating Rihanna unfairly
* 52% said the media were treating Chris Brown unfairly



In addition, a significant number of males and females in the survey said Rihanna was destroying Chris
Brown’s career, and females were no less likely than males to come to Rihanna’s defense.

http://www.bphc.org/news/press_release_content.asp?id=473

[DailyGrind51]

93. Middle-school kids see nothing wrong with violence.

Spend one day in any middle-school and watch how today's kids handle "disputes".

[RadicalTexan]

89. I mentor a 13 year old girl, and she blamed Rihanna

I was very interested to hear her reaction, since I know she listens to both their music and has been calling Chris Brown her "boyfriend" for a while now. I was shocked to hear her say it was Rihanna's fault for giving Chris gonorrhea, and that she got what she deserved.

:wtf:

[Renew Deal]

90. I just did a quick search

There seem to be some Rihanna-Herpes rumors.

[Deja Q]

92. OMG.

Rihanna had the big-G and she gave it to him?

Yuck!

And both can afford the penicillin...

If it's true she had gonorrhea and gave it to him, does that justify being slapped like a punching bag? No. Obviously irresponsible as getting and spreading STDs is, amongst other things, tacky... and proof condoms are not a panacea...

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

95. The problem is you are dealing with kids who believe celebs....

.....are extensions of their own friendships. They think they "know" these people because they can see and hear them 24/7 if they want.

And just like kids don't always have a great "take" on what their friends should be doing with themselves, the same applies here.