I find it sad really that some people find this odd:

[The Straight Story]

My daughter plays a game online called Wizard101, it is fun and aimed mainly at kids but I play it online with her as well - we can talk to each other and run around defeating monsters even when she is at her mom's place.

There are a lot of kids that play there and I help them out when I can, I have a full friend's list and find I spend less time on my own quests and helping kids with theirs (my daughter and X GF in CA play Worlds Of Warcraft online, this is similar to that).

Many of them love it and know I am Lindsey Nightblood's dad (her online name).

I have heard everything from 'I wish my dad played with me here too' to 'my parents abandoned me so I live with my grandma here, I wish they loved me more'. I do what I can to help as many as I can have a fun experience online.

Since I recently got a job I was able to get a subscription for me and my daughter, only 7 a month per person when a family joins up and it opens up all the other areas we could never get to. It is a blast.

An 11 year old in my friend list was pleading with me this week to get him subscribed for a month, and when I got paid Friday I went online and paid for it for him. I have never met him but his mom did email later (I had to log into her account there to pay for it) and thanked me as they just don't have the 10/mo to spare (it is 10 for a single member).

A few folks I know said it was weird that a man was paying for something for a young boy online and that I run around playing with kids each night. Having had 5 kids of my own to me it comes natural to do things to help out kids - no one ever thought it was odd when I coached T-Ball (the Mt. Dew team and Domino's Pizza teams my sons were on back in the day).

I love kids and hate to see them suffer, and I love to see them smile and be happy. My kids have been through a lot of hell over the years (from my son's losing their mom, to my daughter and issues she has had to face) and any chance I get I want to do something nice for them - call it the daddy in me. My daughter keeps telling me to find a girlfriend but I told her if I did that I probably wouldn't be home on the weekends which means less time with her. And she needs me more than I need someone.

I have thought on this a lot - is it because so many see men as online predators, or men as only wanting one thing in life? Is it so odd that a guy could care about and love children just because he loves kids??

We often talk about stereotypes and how people judge a whole group based on what some in that group does, and when I look around the news websites I see a lot of stories about the bad things people/groups do and rarely the good, so it is no wonder people have a fear factor.

Now all catholic priests are molesters (not to mention teachers, and some schools like churches have tried to cover it up), all gun owners are killers waiting to happen, christians are all bad people, men are molesters, women only get ahead in business through good looks and sex, the homeless are drunks and drug addicts or have a mental illness, cops just want to beat you up, liberals want to take your guns, and the list goes on and on and on.

There are almost (if not) 300 million people in this country. Most don't molest kids, most with guns don't use them on others, etc - but the ones who do things which we see as bad get all the press.

Just because someone belongs to group X and does Y does not mean that group X has a track record which we should use to pre-judge all members of that group.

I find it sad, truly sad, that we have become a society based on fear. We bitched about bush pushing fear of terror, yet so many people do the same thing day in and out on any variety of issues.

I love kids, I remember being one and how scary the world was at the time and I didn't go through half of what some other kids do. And if I can make kids happy by playing games with them and helping them out from time to time I don't see what the issue is - except I am a man and I am expected by some to have an ulterior motive.

To answer before it is asked: My daughter does run around with adults online and defeat monsters in the game, many of them are parents as well whose kids are playing there too (I work with one of them). I am not scared because I am involved with my daughter's activities and I DO get why parents have fears of strangers (that is a natural parent response) but I don't find weird that there are people like me out there who want to be friends with kids online and make their experience a fun one - that to me too is a natural response.

I have looked out for kids online since the days of dial up BBS's and I was but a young father.

There are dangers, but I just wish people would not be so quick to think that anyone that talks to kids/plays online with them is out to molest them. The majority don't.

I will go back one more time to the TBall thing - parents had no issues dropping their kids off for practice with a guy they didn't know and no one ever told me they found it odd that I spent time with those kids helping them learn to play that game. But online some people think the same sort of thing is weird (and I spend time helping these kids learn how to fight better and so on).

Sorry for the long rant, I just felt strange after a few people I knew got all weird when I told them how I spend my time online.

[BlooInBloo]

1. It's the world we live in. Every single "good online guy" example helps, though. Rock on.

[jwirr]

2. I do not find that strange. Instead I think that it is an ideal way for you

to spend time with your daughter. Helping the other children is an added bonus. Keep it up.

[leftofthedial]

3. play on!

that's what I say.

[EFerrari]

4. There must be many parents who play online with their kids

if only to help them stay safe. Aren't there any orgs for these parents? You'd think there would be because it's such a natural.

[Mind_your_head]

5. Oh, fer crippy's sakes!

Good thing you 'protect' her from online/imaginary criminals.

G-d forbid you do the HARD WORK of protecting her from the REAL LIFE CRIMINALS in her real life.

[Posteritatis]

15. Where's he say he doesn't? (nt)

[limit18]

6. Not odd to me

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

7. When people's worlds are only fear that is all they can see

They forget that there is beauty all around them. The neglect to recognize the decent people who are in the world quietly doing kind things.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. The transgressions of a few freaks

make life difficult for good, kind people. Like you.

Yeah, well, if some choose to live lives defined by fear and what you "shouldn't" do, there's nothing you can do to change their minds. They're locked into that viewpoint, and they're feeling mighty immortal with their beliefs. (Wait until they find out that they're not going to live forever, that all sorts of things beyond their control are going to happen to them and to their loved ones.)

They're also missing out on pure goodness. Pure fun. Like the kind you're having with your daughter, and, may I tell you that I love what you did for that little boy? It was perfect, and you can be sure he'll never forget it. One day, perhaps, he'll do something like that for a little boy he encounters somewhere.

That's all we want, isn't it? For people to do good things for each other with open hearts and without guile?

More than once, I've found myself in line at the market when someone in front of me was counting out change to make a purchase and didn't have enough money. That's a good time to make up the difference, or pass a fiver to the person, and say "No, it's OK, when you can, you do something nice for someone. You're very welcome."

That's how it's done, isn't it?

Keep on keeping on, pal. I think you're pretty wonderful.

[Mind_your_head]

10. Exactly!

:thumbsup:

[The Straight Story]

13. About the change thing

I do that myself, and when something is $4.95 I tell them to keep the change to help someone who might be short (I usually do business at the same place and people know me, they cut me slack when I am short a bit and I make it up by letting them keep the extra so they can do the same for others).

When I was in CA one store I went to in my hood had a lot of pan handlers and hookers who would hit me up when I left, if I had change I just gave it to them because I know what it is like to need some help. If I can make someone's day by giving them a buck, even they just used it on smokes or whatever, it made me happy to know that I did something for so little that helped them through that day.

I learned kindness from my parents, especially my mom who was always going with out so others could be helped. Money was not something she hoarded, it was something she used to help others. Not saying there is anything wrong with saving of course.

I think many many people are like this, and I see kindness on a regular basis, it just seems so rare to see because few cover it.

People on Du have helped me, and I have passed that on as I promised. Good deeds are all around us, but sadly it only gets coverage at Christmas :)

[Tangerine LaBamba]

18. We're out here,

doing small, good things on a daily basis. I think there are a lot more of us than we might suspect. I hope so.

I always give street people cash. If I have a buck or a five, whatever I can grab, I give it to them. One of the most offensive, most condescending and judgmental acts I've witnessed have been those people - sometimes friends of mine - who so gallantly "buy a meal" for someone instead of giving him the money. I am always just aghast at the meanness of that gesture.

Their rationalization is that the recipient of their largesse might use the cash to buy something of which they - the donor - would not approve.

He can buy his own damn food with the money I give him, and she can buy booze, or smokes, or maybe cat food for the cat he might have at home. Or he can put it in his arm or up his nose. I don't know anyone's demons, and it's not my place to try to corral them.

I'm just there to make it a bit easier for a little while.

Good for you, TSS. Good for the OP. Good for all of us.

[hfojvt]

9. try to imagine the suspicions you would face

if you didn't have kids.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

11. Hmmmmmm

Doesn't Michael Jackson have kids?

[rcrush]

12. Dont take all those kids on the 40 man raid with you.

You'll want to strangle every last one of them halfway through the raid!

[The Straight Story]

14. Precisely why they need a coach :)

They keep using on pip spells when they should pass a few rounds, and why aren't they using wand spells that require zero pips to do damage instead of passing when they can? ARRRGH! :)

[rcrush]

17. Fuckin Newbz

[masuki bance]

16. Sorry, if you paid for something for my kid

without permission, there would be a problem.

[havocmom]

19. my job involves kids a lot

some of them are so starved for affection that they rush in and almost knock me over with hugs. Sadly, I find myself holding back and a bit away. I am not a native to this berg and in this day & age, I do fear hugging kids could be an inflammatory thing with some of the paranoid (and very cold) adults here.

But some kids REALLY need attention, affection and a damned hug. :cry:

I do like to engage them in snappy chat and they love that I treat them like the intelligent, lovable people they are. I get a lot of respect from them, and they are very relaxed with me. It's something.

[Pisces]

20. The percentages are stacked against you. I would rather be safe than sorry. No strange adult

male friends for my children.

[NaturalHigh]

21. I think what you are doing is great.

Unfortunately, we live in a time when so many perverts have made us suspicious of almost everyone.

[The Straight Story]

23. I understand the parent side of this

As mentioned, it is the general side of it (ie friends, etc) that bothers me.

[masuki bance]

25. If you understand the parent side, then you should

understand the friend side. Why do you think that it's ok?

[deaniac21]

22. The freaks go where the children are. All men (especially

single ones) pay the price.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

24. I find it odd that you don't understand that there are predators out there and parents want to keep

their children safe. They have no idea who you are. I understand you are one of the "good guys" but if someone paid a subscription for one of my children without asking me for permission, I'd be quite upset.

It isn't just the times we're in although the internet has made another dimension out of it, but children do get abused. My best friend's life was all but destroyed when sexually abused at 15 by his "well meaning and caring" baseball coach. This happened over 50 years ago.......

[sallylou666]

26. Registered sex offenders are out there

The safety of children has to come before offending an adult. It's unfortunate that parents have to be so protective but it's necessary to keep the children safe.

There area a ton of predators out there. I looked up the registered sex offenders in my neighborhood and I was shocked. Go to www.familywatchdog.us/ to look up the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood. And those just the ones that got caught. There are more out there.

I'm a cub scout leader. I had a criminal background check and training about how I can be with a child. I always make sure that I'm never alone with a child. I need a second adult (not my husband). I didn't volunteer to get near children to sexually abuse them, but some pedophiles do that. Lots of boys have been abused by cub scout leaders. (and coaches, teachers, etc.)

You may be a great guy, but pedophiles don't look any different than you. Most pedophiles are straight white men with children. We don't know you. You shouldn't take it personally when people are protective of their children.

Sadly enough, pedophiles target the kids that you describe--the ones that are desperate for adult attention and whose parents aren't careful about which adults have access to their kids. Some guys "bus surf" to see which kids are key latch kids and vulnerable. These guys hang out at the local Target to see which kids are alone playing the video game demo. Many parents are in denial about this reality. It's frightening.

[blaze]

27. The only thing that makes me uncomfortable

is that you must have acquired the player's password in order to login to his account... as a parent, that would have raised a HUGE red flag for me... maybe even deleting the account and starting a new one. But perhaps you already had established a relationship with the mother?

I played Wizard101 in beta and really enjoyed it... but some of the REALLY long battles were too time consuming for me and I found myself getting totally stressed at being pulled into battles I did not want to fight!!!! :)

My heart still lives at VMK. :(