in which we bury the dead

[ulysses]

A former colleague of mine from my old school died on Friday of cancer. I didn't even know she was ill - that'll teach me to fall out of touch with people.

Imelda Balli was a superior teacher and an excellent human being. She was also the only Hispanic Muslim I've ever known, which made me wonder what the service would be like. I found out.

It was on a covered basketball court at West End Park, to begin with - if you know Atlanta, think Lowery (Ashby) and Abernathy, in the West End. There was a good-sized crowd assembled by the time the family arrived with her body and wheeled it into the park, covered and on a stretcher.

I know next to nothing about Islam, but watched as the men leading the service determined which direction was was dead east and then began lining up the body and then the mourners in three rows facing in that direction. As this began, I thought I'd slide back to the back of the crowd. Wrong. A nice but firm lady caught my arm and said, "Excuse me, but you have to be in the front". Oh. Yeah. Men in the front. Thanks.

The service consisted of only one act of prayer, the directions for which took longer than the prayer itself. Call and response (Reggie, my old para, and me lip-synching the response), long period of silent prayer for the deceased, call and response again. Five appeals in all to Allah, if I recall correctly, then at one command, done.

I've mentioned before that I'm not particularly devout in any tradition - raised Methodist, started changing my mind in college - but I'm not interested in running down anyone's beliefs (unless they overrun anyone else's rights). For my part, I'm thankful for the work Imelda did with profoundly affected special needs kids in the years that I knew her. Dogma and ritual aside, the life you live counts. And hers counted for a lot.

[tangent90]

1. Funereal ceremonies do nothing for the dead, they just comfort those living who want them to.

I often think it's interesting that in a couple hundred years, not more than one out of a million people living today will be remembered by whoever's left of the human population. It's almost comforting, in a somewhat perverse way. :D

[ulysses]

2. well sure.

And I do find that comforting as well, in a sense. I also find the idea of being buried with my legs crossed as if napping comforting...

[tangent90]

3. LOL

You made my day! :rofl:

[friendly_iconoclast]

4. But they are also a sign of respect, and a way of marking their passing

A way of saying, "This one is gone, and they will not pass this way again."

It's genetic, I think- Neanderthals buried their dead with flowers.

The ceremonial aspect of funerals has roots that go very, very deep.

[tangent90]

5. Those roots are vestiges of wishful thinking, nothing genetic about it.

Most religions promise eternal existence which brings in lots of contributions.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. I know Hispanic Sufis,

but our services for the dead are different from traditional Islamic services--they involve singing and dancing and chanting--for it is the Wedding Day, when the soul of the departed joins again with the Beloved.

But in all Islam, how you live your life is what counts, more than anything. Salaam.

[ulysses]

7. I thought about you during the service today.

I appreciate that explanation. Peace to you as well.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. How very kind!

(Bowing with hand over heart.)

[Fire1]

9. I'm sure she will be missed,