Bearing Witness to a Family's Heartbreak: today's LA Times

[CaliforniaPeggy]

A gravely injured son, distant parents and a devastated lover. It's a volatile mix that takes an unexpected turn.

By Gordon D. Rubenfeld

March 16, 2009

Joel told me a lot during the four days he was visiting Alex in the ICU.

Alex was the love of his life. Alex hadn't seen his parents, now traveling in from the Midwest, in 11 years. Joel (all names have been changed) had been sober since he and Alex moved in together. But that, like everything else, ended on July 4, the day of Alex's accident.

~snip~

During the worst days of the HIV epidemic, I had to "out" a lot of young men to their parents in ICU waiting rooms. It was a common story: Boy leaves home, goes to the big city, falls in lust, falls in love, makes a new life, gets a cough, gets sick and then dies on a ventilator in the ICU.

I'd really hoped those days were over, I thought, as I walked up the four flights to meet Alex's parents. Under the best of circumstances, this was going to be a devastating meeting.

This is a heart-rending, but hopeful, story. The rest is at the link:
http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-practice16-2009mar16,0,2519229.story

[Solly Mack]

1. Thank you

K&R

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Solly Mack...

I am honored by your comment and your recommendation...

Thank you.

[Solly Mack]

3. ((((CaliforniaPeggy))))

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. People...............

Just when you think you know what they're going to do, they up and surprise you by being something else entirely.

Those people lost a son and gained a son. Strange how that works.

In the late eighties, I did volunteer work with Shanti in San Francisco. I represented HIV-positive guys who had found all their possessions in the street after their roommates found out about their diagnosis. I wrote wills for men who wanted everything to be right after they died. I walked up and down hospital hallways with parents from other places, frightened and angry and sad parents, so many of whom finally turned away and never went into their dying sons' hospital rooms.

And yet, there were parents who were so loving and kind and open, they pushed past their fears and confusion, and were able to open their hearts to whomever it was their dying son had loved. When that happened, it almost made the death bearable.

Thank you for a reminder of the good ...............................

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. It is surprising...

And that's mainly why I posted this...

I was so touched by the ending that I felt everyone here should see it.

Ah, you had a tough job. Thank you for having done it.

[Lionel Mandrake]

6. K & R

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Thank you...(nt)

[FloridaJudy]

8. Damn it, Peggy!

You made me cry.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. My dear FloridaJudy...

It made me cry too, sweetie...

I was completely caught off guard!

But they were good tears...

:hug: