Update to my dad is in the hospital from the other day.

[ejpoeta]

This is an update to my post from a couple of days ago here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=5326866&mesg_id=5326866

Well, yesterday I got a call that my sister wanted everyone to the hospital because she had something to tell us. I knew it must be serious because she was trying to get ahold of my sister, debbie, who is very busy and she wouldn't be getting her down there too unless it was bad. I got to the hospital with my younger sister (there are four sisters and a brother among us siblings) and two of my sisters who were already there were crying. so i went in to see my dad for a little bit and then went back into the waiting room to wait.... and worry.

when debbie got there we all held our breath and waited... and my sister told us that the mri and other scans they did gave them a bad picture... my dad has cancer. and it is all over the place. it started in his esophagus and the prostrate cancer that was found a couple of months ago was only the latest invasion. and my dad has about three months to live. they were going to do a biopsy of the esophagus, and it would take about a week to confirm.... but they are 99% sure that this is what it is. and from my dad's girlfriend's sister, who knows all too well about cancer.... she says they are probably right.

i can't help but wonder how they didn't catch this sooner. though my sister tells me that every symptom that he has had over the past two years has seemed to fit with the illness he was having at hte time. he had ulcers in his esophagus which masked the cancer two years ago. all the times he has been in the hospital over the past couple of years and no one bothered to do any scans or tests or anything. i feel like they just pushed him off. and that may not be fair, but i can't help but wonder how no one ever thought to check anything!!!

i can hope they are wrong. and i can hope that their 3 months is wrong. but then i see my dad laying there in a hospital bed hallucinating. my sister told us of his recollecting things from when he was a child, and i fear that maybe they are right... it is selfish of me to want him to stay. and i suppose in the end i will pray the same as i did when my mom was sick all those years ago.... please make him better or take him home to you. i prayed that for my mom, but had wanted her to be better. and it took years before i could forgive him for taking her. but i just don't want my dad to suffer... any more than i wanted my mom to suffer.

thanks for listening.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. I am so very sorry *hugs*

[MadMaddie]

2. ejpoeta I am so sorry to hear about your father!

:grouphug:

[MannyGoldstein]

3. My Heart Is With You n/t

[villager]

4. condolences on the news, ejpoeta

hang in there as best you can, ejpoeta... check back here at DU whenever you need to, and don't forget your "offline" support as well... take care..

[Mike 03]

5. My heart goes out to you like you can't imagine

There are few things more shocking or horrible than learning that a parent has cancer. It knocks the wind out of you like nothing else.

It's true that some of the gastrointestinal cancers are the most difficult to find until they are progressed to a bad situation.

I hear your pain and confusion and chaos. I have it too now.

You are not alone, ever.

There are some great resources if you ever need them, but for now, I just want you to know I understand how much you hurt and you are not alone.

[Warpy]

6. I wish we had tricorders that would show up every single

disease process that is going on in our bodies as soon as they appear, but we don't. We just look for whatever is causing the trouble at the time and go from there to the most likely reasons.

Cost cutting in health care has meant that doctors can't go looking for other things while he's there unless he's symptomatic from them.

I'm sorry about your dad. That second parent is the hardest to lose.

Given his circumstances, if someone mentions hospice, please take them up on it. Hospice will control his discomfort and give you the maximum time to enjoy him for however long he has left, whether he's in the here and now or wandering around in the past. His stories about the past are stories you'll treasure forever.

[babylonsister]

7. Hi.

I'm so very sorry-I know exactly how you feel.

Here's a hug for you, and talk to him as much as you can. And don't let the drs. do too many tests. If he's that sick, he doesn't need them. This told to you with bitter memories of what we should have insisted on.

:hug:

[emilyg]

8. I am very sorry.

[MiniMe]

9. A friend of mine's father had esophogeal cancer

They did surgery and cut it out. It was a really rough surgery, his stomach ended up being in his chest cavity. He survived about 10 years after the surgery, and it wasn't the cancer that he eventually died from at the ripe old age of about 87. My best to you and your family. It is a rough diagnosis.

[No.23]

10. My sincerest condolances...

for your father's difficult road ahead. But I'm glad that he has a loving family who care for him. Many do not.

Since it appears that your family was informed that he is terminally ill, can I suggest that you contact your local Hospice?

They are most remarkable for times like these.

And they can help both you and his family to handle this most difficult time.

My hopes and prayers are with you.

[Hekate]

11. I'm so very sorry. Thanks for giving us the update; come back when you can...

:hug: Peace for all of you; gentle passage for him if it's his time.

Hekate

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

12. Very sorry, my thoughts and prayers to you, your father and your family.