WTO Proposes Slavery for Africa

[Orwellian_Ghost]

Philadelphia - At a Wharton Business School conference on business in Africa, World Trade Organization representative Hanniford Schmidt announced the creation of a WTO initiative for "full private stewardry of labor" for the parts of Africa that have been hardest hit by the 500 years of Africa's free trade with the West.

The initiative will require Western companies doing business in some parts of Africa to own their workers outright. Schmidt recounted how private stewardship has been successfully applied to transport, power, water, traditional knowledge, and even the human genome. The WTO's "full private stewardry" program will extend these successes to (re)privatize humans themselves.

"Full, untrammelled stewardry is the best available solution to African poverty, and the inevitable result of free-market theory," Schmidt told more than 150 attendees. Schmidt acknowledged that the stewardry program was similar in many ways to slavery, but explained that just as "compassionate conservatism" has polished the rough edges on labor relations in industrialized countries, full stewardry, or "compassionate slavery," could be a similar boon to developing ones.

The audience included Prof. Charles Soludo (Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria), Dr. Laurie Ann Agama (Director for African Affairs at the Office of the US Trade Representative), and other notables. Agama prefaced her remarks by thanking Scmidt for his macroscopic perspective, saying that the USTR view adds details to the WTO's general approach. Nigerian Central Bank Governor Soludo also acknowledged the WTO proposal, though he did not seem to appreciate it as much as did Agama.

A system in which corporations own workers is the only free-market solution to African poverty, Schmidt said. "Today, in African factories, the only concern a company has for the worker is for his or her productive hours, and within his or her productive years," he said. "As soon as AIDS or pregnancy hits—out the door. Get sick, get fired. If you extend the employer's obligation to a 24/7, lifelong concern, you have an entirely different situation: get sick, get care. With each life valuable from start to finish, the AIDS scourge will be quickly contained via accords with drug manufacturers as a profitable investment in human stewardees. And educating a child for later might make more sense than working it to the bone right now."

To prove that human stewardry can work, Schmidt cited a proposal by a free-market think tank to save whales by selling them. "Those who don't like whaling can purchase rights to specific whales or groups of whales in order to stop those particular whales from getting whaled as much," he explained. Similarly, the market in Third-World humans will "empower" caring First Worlders to help them, Schmidt said.

One conference attendee asked what incentive employers had to remain as stewards once their employees are too old to work or reproduce. Schmidt responded that a large new biotech market would answer that worry. He then reminded the audience that this was the only possible solution under free-market theory.

There were no other questions from the audience that took issue with Schmidt's proposal.

During his talk, Schmidt outlined the three phases of Africa's 500-year history of free trade with the West: slavery, colonialism, and post-colonial markets. Each time, he noted, the trade has brought tremendous wealth to the West but catastrophe to Africa, with poverty steadily deepening and ever more millions of dead. "So far there's a pattern: Good for business, bad for people. Good for business, bad for people. Good for business, bad for people. That's why we're so happy to announce this fourth phase for business between Africa and the West: good for business—GOOD for people."

The conference took place on Saturday, November 11. The panel on which Schmidt spoke was entitled "Trade in Africa: Enhancing Relationships to Improve Net Worth." Some of the other panels in the conference were entitled "Re-Branding Africa" and "Growing Africa's Appetite." Throughout the comments by Schmidt and his three co-panelists, which lasted 75 minutes, Schmidt's stewardee, Thomas Bongani-Nkemdilim, remained standing at respectful attention off to the side.

"This is what free trade's all about," said Schmidt. "It's about the freedom to buy and sell anything—even people."

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[dkofos]

1. Can I make a WTO wonk my slave.

[rcrush]

2. I love the Yes Men.

[ret5hd]

3. The yesmen are so cool. Telling it like it is without you knowing it.

[Turbineguy]

4. I would have waited until tomorrow with this

People might think it's an April Fools joke.

[ixion]

5. "untrammelled stewardry" is neoliberalism, neocon style

you betcha!

And that means slavery, indeed.

[dixiegrrrrl]

6. April 1st, isn't it? Good one.

will K&R just because.........

[lapfog_1]

7. I can't wait for April 1st to be over... I get so tired of even bothering to read the pranks.

This one, of course, was easily determined from the headline.

But like the Car and Driver Prank (Obama orders GM, Chrysler out of NASCAR), the gullible take it in without any critical
thought... and then it spins around the inter-tubes for ages.

It's sort of like hoping the story about Ted Stevens is a hoax (the guy IS guilty)... but it appears to not be a hoax.

[Orwellian_Ghost]

9. It's really not a prank

in the sense of fun and games. This is in fact really much closer to Swiftian truth.

[ZombieNixon]

8. It's sad that this isn't so far fetched these days

that it doesn't appear immediately as an obvious April Fool. :(

[G_j]

10. great documentary!

:rofl:

[Beartracks]

11. Central Bank of Nigeria?

Hey, the guy from the Central Bank of Nigeria just sent me an email!

:silly:

[Igel]

12. It's a WTO press release from Nov. 13, 2006.

It can be found at http://www.gatt.org/ .

In a sidebar is the text:

Important Note:
Many visitors from all over the political spectrum have read this release and believed it to mean that the WTO is officially in favor of slavery.
In actual fact, we at the WTO would never, ever wish to suggest that the modern version of the West's free trade with Africa is tantamount to its older form, slavery, or even worse than its other older form, colonialism. That would fly in the face of everything that we stand for.
The catastrophic failure of free-trade policies in Africa may be one partial source of this confusion. The actual, literal slavery that flourishes under the auspices of free trade (in Brazil, Jordan, and elsewhere) may be another.


This just strikes me as strange. One of those things that my tendency to good will tells me must be a joke, but everything else tells me isn't a joke. So I try to find ways of manipulating language to make it all seem reasonable, and I still fall short. While in some respects the policy described is better that what there currently is--and, to be honest, is very much what some people come close to describing here (where you're essentially looked out for in terms of a job, health care, housing, education) and which wasn't *too* dissimilar to some aspects of US industry policy back in the early part of the 20th century (with company stores, schools, clinics, and scrip) ... still it rankles. I'm usually good at chucking connotations, but still ...