So I'm 17 years sober today...

[stillcool]

and very much alone with myself and all the ghosts of my past. The people I knew, the places I went, the things I experienced. The violence. The constant starting over, and reinventing. The choices I didn't see, the dance of shame, blame, and guilt. The camaraderie of the birds of my feather flocking together. I ask myself did I love anyone? Did I even know anyone? What we shared was the holes in our soul. We were all runaways. Are they still alive? The first love, a Vietnam war vet with a heroin addiction, in and out of jail. The second love, a bi-sexual man painfully conflicted about his own self indentity, and dying..in a very real way, to belong. The third a black man living in a black and white world, a foot planted in each and in neither.
And then came sobriety and the clash with reality. Families that never were. The rapes. The impossible conflict of being a little girl and a depository for sperm. Seeking always to be a sexual being and a woman with self-worth. The gay friends, having the added burden of desperately trying to find a way to deny their truth. Our stories were all so very different, but the emotions were the same. And oh how we laughed, as we discussed our wayward pasts. The bizarreness of our lives. And even different ideas about killing ourselves without making a mess. I celebrate this day and cherish them all. I did love and I did know each and every one of them.

[graywarrior]

1. Congratulations!

Day at a time.

[Dora]

2. Happy birthday to you.

With all my heart.

[Captain Hilts]

3. Then your Nom de 'Net is appropriate. Stay cool! nt

[ClayZ]

4. Congratulations!

K and R

Happy Birthday!

[jobycom]

5. Beautiful.

:thumbsup:

[Vidar]

6. Congrtulations!

[theoldman]

7. Seventeen years to stay sober is a long time.

My neighbor was sober for about 20 years until his wife died from MS. The years of watching her die eventually got to him when he had back surgery. The pain killers assisted with a six pack of beer each day got him a DUI. He is sober again because his boss threatened to fire him if he did not go to rehab.

[radiclib]

8. Thank you for posting

..and heartfelt congrats. It's 15 years for me last month, so I'm feelin' ya.:hi:

[stillcool]

12. Congrats to you too!

I always get weird around this time. I guess it's why I got sober this time of year in the first place.

[bigscott]

9. Congrats SC

14 years, 9 months and 15 days here, all one day at a time. Being one of those gay friends denying the truth - i embraced sobriety 5 years before finally admitting to my family and friends the "truth" about me. I have never been so at peace as the past ~~15 years.

Keep coming you're worth it!

peace

BigS

[kpete]

10. one day at a time

from another companion
on this strange but glorious path
- recovery
YOU are NOT alone
peace, kp

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

11. 11 years on March 27th.

And no desire to ever do THAT again. Yeesh. In retrospect: how boring. How average. How trite. How fucking TEDIOUS for me and all around me.

I have never aspired to tedium. ;-)

[Warpy]

13. Happy birthday!

and it is happy because the alternatives are madness, jail, or death. We're glad you're still with us.

A lot of us look back on our lives and see bombed out buildings and minefields full of craters, whether we lived sober or not. Learning how to live in the present is the hardest part of living, period.

What I do know is that all the insanity of the past made us who we are today, and I think we're damned fine.

[madrchsod]

14. congrats

yes, we have to cherish each day

[barbtries]

15. you still cool

stillcool

mazeltov on 17 years sober.

[Old Codger]

16. Congrats

Completely understand what you are saying.. Been there done that for sure... Keep up and keep on

[Not Me]

17. Wow

My hat is off to you. I hope that every day offers new hope and happiness for you.

[IndyOp]

18. you give me courage - thank you. (n/t)

[Bluerthanblue]

19. ...

..agonizingly beautiful.

so glad you are here...

:hug:

[Resuscitated Ethics]

20. best years to come

I'm seventeen this July-- been so long the exact date comes and goes. I don't miss the booze or the hangovers or the insanity of unmet promises.

I miss the spark of "what may be" located somewhere near that first sip but never found.

No booze no regret.

Happy birthday!

[Bluebear]

21. Happy birthday...

that was a powerful and poetic glimpse...

Our stories were all so very different, but the emotions were the same.

:hug:

[justinaforjustice]

22. One Day At A Time Works!

Seventeen years is a terrific milestone. You are an inspiration to everyone who believes they cannot stop drinking. You are proof that they can too -- one day at a time.

Many, many happy returns of this day!

[rosesaylavee]

23. Beautifully stated.

Congratulations!

[Barack_America]

24. That's awesome!

:yourock:

And I'm so sorry about everything you've gone through, but so proud of you for persevering.

:hug:

[SharonAnn]

25. Heartfelt congratulations from who hopes to have 24 years in September.

Oh, how many things we went through that we dulled with alcohol or drugs and so they continued to live in us.

How hard it was the break from alcohol and then realize that it had to a break with everything we had used to support us in our alcoholism. How hard it was to try to stand up and deal with things in reality, not what we wished them to be or thought they should be.

And how hard it was to learn tos tay away from people and situations that are mired in alcoholic behavior and activities.

And yet, how worth it all of that was and how much better and more real a person we are because of all this.

[tjwash]

26. Congrats...I just hit 20 on the 2nd

:woohoo:

[stillcool]

27. Wow...Doesn't it sound so weird?

I couldn't believe it when it was 6 months, and I really can't believe it's 17 years! Congratulations to you.. I didn't realize there were so many of us here.

[tjwash]

28. The first year dragged...it felt like I would never string together a whole year.

Now it seems like yesterday I was taking my 1 year cake. Time has just flown by so damn fast!

[roguevalley]

29. awesome post. you are one courageous person. congratulations on your triumph.

[BigBearJohn]

30. Here's to your next 17 years! (one day at a time)