How To Enjoy a Better Dining Experience

[NeedleCast]

Inspired by this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5411403

and a follow on thread from a different OP which has been locked and wont be linked to, I present a guide for better dining.

As a person who spent about five years waiting tables in or managing a large, independent restaurant, I'd like to suggest a few things that will help you enjoy dining at a restaurant with a minimum of rodent feces added to your meals.

1. You will be waited on by a server. Please understand that this does not mean they are a servant. Treat them like humans. Servers are your link between the kitchen and the food that's about to go into your body. Think about that for a minute before being arrogant, condescending or acting like you are entitled to a crown. These are the people who stand between whether you enjoy a nice steak and vegetable or enjoy a nice steak and vegetable that has passed through the ass crack of an angry cook. Be nice, and they will almost certainly be nice as well.

2. Understand that sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes its the fault of the server. Usually it's not. An order gets lost, food isn't prepared correctly...mistakes happen. You're the customer, you have a right to be satisfied. You do not have the right to be abusive and, as in almost all things, you will get better results by showing kindness and understanding that you will by ranting and raving.

3. If something goes wrong, ask to speak to the manager or general manager. They are, in the case of almost all fine dining establishments, the best and often ONLY way things will be made right.

4. Don't go to a sit-down restaurant when you are "in a hurry." You are setting yourself up for failure.

5. Understand that your table does not operate in a vacuum. Is it Friday night in a busy restaurant? Then yes, it may take half an hour for your entree to arrive. Order a 16oz steak well done? I'm not sure why you want a succulent steak turned into a hockey puck but it's your mouth, put what you like in it, just understand that despite the fact you're paying for this meal, the laws of physics still apply and meat takes awhile to achieve well doneness. You want a well done sirloin done in five minutes? Go to Sizzler.

6. Understand that servers make money by turning tables. It is 100% okay for you to linger over after dinner drinks, but please, please take that into consideration in your tip. If you stay an extra hour and order nothing, please compensate your server with a moderate increase in tip.

7. Understand that while servers may not be big time like you, they have long memories for shitty customers and will, generally, go out of their way to ensure you receive only the minimum. If they are good servers, their managers will generally back them up on that. Please reference point #1 for more information.

8. Most fine dinging restaurants are happy to accommodate any dietary or nutritional requests you make, within reason. The surest, easiest way to do this is by asking nicely and be understanding. Can we blacken that mahi-mahi for you? Yes we can! Can we tone down that spicy entree for you? Yes we can! Can we make you a pork loin when we don't have pork loin in the fridge or freezer? I'm sorry, we can't prepare food we don't have. Again, laws of physics apply.

9. Plan to tip 15% at a minimum. 18% has become more the standard. 20% is nice. 25% is very nice, thank you. I understand that the way we pay our servers is not great. They make, in general two to three dollars an hour in wages. That's the way the system works. I agree that it is not necessarily the best system, but it's the system that is in use. Please don't take it out on your server because you don't agree with the system. If you refuse to tip on the grounds that you don't think you should have to pay the wages of the staff, then don't go to places where tipping is the norm, because that means you are tacitly supporting a system you claim to disagree with.

10. If something is wrong with your food, drinks, experience, et. al. I will say again that the person you're going to want to see is the manager. A good manager will take care of you if the staff or the restaurant is in the wrong. If they don't, you should cease to frequent the establishment.


For the sake of brevity, I'll stop there. Just keep in mind that we all want you to have a good dining experience. You want to have a good experience and we want you to have a good experience. Happy customers are the best tippers (usually). We want you to be happy! We want you to have a great time in the hopes that will mean you give us more money. That's how the system works. A little kindness, a little praise when things go right and a little tolerance when things go wrong will go a long way toward achieving your goal of a nice dining experience.

[Mari333]

1. great post!

I worked as a waitress back in the 70s, and I didnt last long. I am evidently not skilled at being understanding and affirmative. the first bozo that grabbed my ass had a glass of cold water dumped on him (and yes, back then, men did that blatantly)
I agree with everything you said on your post
there is nothing more horrible then people who are demanding, grouchy, stingy, and think you are their slave. I saw that a lot when I was a cashier. I call it "faux nobility".
I salute you for being able to put up with them.

[asdjrocky]

2. What a great post.

I worked in the nightclub and bar industry for a good part of my life, but I've never been on the food side. My mom worked as a waitress at the local bowling ally for many years and I've known and had friends in the food industry. BE NICE TO YOUR SERVER.

I actually ended a two year relationship once and a big part of it in the end was about how she treated servers.

My Dad always told me to be nice to certain people, those who cook or serve food I'm eating, the fellow or woman that is pouring me a drink, and the person who cuts my hair. I've been kind and fair to these people all my life, and I've gotten great service because of that.

Thanks for the post. K&R.

[panader0]

3. I'm poor and always tip around 20%

I rarely eat out these days unless Jeannie is treating me. Yet the waiters at our favorite restaurant always remember us and have two Bud Lights on the table immediately, and remember our "usual".

[NeedleCast]

5. The sign of excellent staff and a good establishment

Places that remember their regulars are generally the places that have been in business for 10 or 20 or 50 years. Just like staff will remember bad customers, they will also usually remember good customers. Even after 13 years of being out of the business, I still remember some of my good customers. Some of them were only average tippers, but that's fine too...staff will remember customers who were kind to them, and who don't make their jobs harder.

[OnyxCollie]

19. Same here.

When we walk into our favorite Mexican restaurant(s), there's two frozen margaritas and a bowls of mild and hot salsa on the table.

[knitter4democracy]

83. Same here. They're working hard and deserve real wages.

Since I personally can't change that law, I always tip 20%, sometimes rounding up from that if I have my kids with me and they've been loud.

I also clean up the table. It's a mom habit.

[KansDem]

4. One observation concerning tips (from a former bartender)...

If you have a coupon, i.e., "Two-for-one dinners" or "Free dessert/drink with meal" or "X% off," tip according to the actual cost of the meal, not the discounted cost. It's still the same amount of food and drink (the same amount of responsibility) for the server to tend to regardless of how much is taken off the final bill.

Believe it or not, I've known folks who will tip according to the discounted cost.

[NeedleCast]

6. Yes! An excellent addition

I frequent a sports bar near my office once or twice a week because they have good food and a good, personable bar staff. One of their incentives is "free" lunch cards...eat (x) amount of lunches and the (4th or 5th) is free. Just a little business card they hand out and give you "punches" on each time you eat there. The bartenders there told me that a handful of customers abuse it by not tipping on their "free" lunch.

People, just because the meal may be free or discounted doesn't mean the server worked less to make your experience a good one. Tip on the full price of the check.

[DS1]

9. I do

I'm often comped at the place I go to, but still figure out the total and tip

[TahitiNut]

20. When I'm comp'ed, I tip large, splitting the savings with the server.

My nephew is a casual dining manager. When we go to his restaurant, he comps us. Rather than merely tip 20-25% of what the meal WOULD cost, I tip to the point of almost paying as much as JUST the meals would cost. I save and the server is happy ... and happy to see us the next time, too.

It can be a PITA for a server to wait on the friends or family of management ... or even worse than a PITA. Clearly, if they fuck up it'll be visible and potentially career-limiting. Thus, I figure they deserve to benefit as much as I ... or more ... from the largesse.

I bussed tables as one of the jobs I had to pay for college. It's HARD work. I'll never forget that.

[Stinky The Clown]

13. Actually, since the eats and drinks were free, it is a good time to DOUBLE the normal tip

If one is eating on a frequent diner award, show the staff you care. Your service will get better each time you return.

[cali]

7. excellent advice

thanks for posting.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

8. This PSA should be required reading for all

servers DO have long memories...I still remember certain assholes I had to wait on AGES ago...it is surprising how 'rude' sticks...

sP

[Stinky The Clown]

10. I've been in one facet or another of this industry for about 40 years ......

I agree with every word you wrote.

I am a notoriously high tipper. As a result, I enjoy great service any place I return. People remember. I also enjoy letting a hard working person who is sweating and trying not to show it how much I appreciate their humping it for me.

[Jokerman]

11. Excellent post! Just a couple of minor quibbles:

"10. If something is wrong with your food, drinks, experience, et. al. I will say again that the person you're going to want to see is the manager. A good manager will take care of you if the staff or the restaurant is in the wrong. If they don't, you should cease to frequent the establishment."

In any customer service situation I try to work problems out with my primary contact first. I only involve the manager if the server, cashier or other representative fails to address my concerns. I don't want to be too quick to go over their head but I will, if necessary.

My primary motivation for treating servers well isn't fear of them screwing with my order, it's because everyone deserves respect.

Thanks for bringing some sanity to the subject.

[NeedleCast]

17. I understand and perhaps should have been more clear

If it's something like an undercooked bit of food or minor thing like that, the server is the person to see first. I just point it out because in most fine dining places these days, if it's reached the point where you feel you need something comped or some sort of additional service then a manager or GM is usually the only person who can do that for you. Further, it lets the manager know there is a problem. Especially in larger restaurants (especially when the economy is in the crapper and staff is getting slashed hours), a manager might not know there is a problem unless you bring it to their attention.

Sometimes its not a case of the server not wanting to address your concern, it's that they can't (and if that's the case then it falls on them to inform you of that, no question).

[kestrel91316]

12. Do you have an explanation for why, almost every time I treat myself (alone)

to a nice lunch, I manage to get virtually ignored by the person who is supposed to bring the menu, and the person who is supposed to take my order, and the person who is supposed to check to make sure my order is satisfactory, and the person who is supposed to bring the check, and the person who is supposed to bring my change?

I am pleasant to servers. At least I start out that way, but if service (and I don't ask for much, seriously) is lacking or downright negligent, I find it hard to tip more than 10%. I am very patient, BTW, being the sort of person who brings a good book when I dine alone.

Except for when I went to NOLA, where they know how to treat patrons, my finer dining experiences in recent years have been sorely lacking and sometimes appallingly bad.

[tammywammy]

18. I usually don't get treated very poorly when dining by myself

But last Sunday, I went to this one place, I've been there before by myself (always had good service). I had a young, maybe 17 year old waitress. She lacked the attention to refill my drink or make sure my order was right (it wasn't).

Now, I ordered a medium rare steak, it was medium well. I ate it, because well, I didn't want to wait on another one to come out. I didn't get the vegetable I ordered either. I think the lack of vegetable she should have noticed, but I chalked it up to her being young and this is probably her first waitress job.

In the end, I still tipped her 20%, mostly b/c I know they don't make much. But when I go back I'll try to be sure I don't get her section.

[NeedleCast]

22. I don't have an explanation, not knowing you

However, the person who is supposed to bring your menu, take your order, check up on you, bring you the check and change should be one person (two, if the host/hostess brings menus).

If there is a problem with the service, your very best recourse is to request to speak to a manager.

If you bring a book and are reading it at the table, a good sever will, in general, not bother you. They should take your order promptly, get it out in a reasonable time period, check on you once every 10 minutes or so and bring your check and change...some places wont do this until you ask for it though. A good server should ask if you've finished your meal when it seems obvious you are and ask if they can get you anything else. If you say no, they should bring you the check.

Please understand though, reading at the table generally indicates that you don't wish interaction with the staff beyond the standard as we assume you'd like to not be interrupted while you read.

[On the Road]

30. Probably Because You're in LA

and you're being waited on by an aspiring actor rather than a professional waiter.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

84. I've never run into that problem

[Sequoia]

14. 25% tip. I don't think so.

[MercutioATC]

21. I'll tip 30%+ for exceptional service.

Mediocre gets 15%, good gets 20%, really good gets 25%.

...and I have tipped less than 15% for bed service.

[eppur_se_muova]

48. You tip LESS for bed service? Man, that's harsh!! nt

:evilgrin:

[MercutioATC]

53. iPhone keyboards can be tricky...

It was a funny typo :)

[Th1onein]

61. I tip 50 to 100% of the bill

I know it's crazy, but I used to be a waitress and I know how they feel. I love the idea that I made someone's day, when I leave the restaurant. It's the cheapest way I know of making someone happy. I also tip pizza delivery drivers $20-$40 a delivery.

[MercutioATC]

73. That's a nice, but pricey, gesture.

I usually tip servers at bars 35%-50% but that's at least partly so I never have to wait for a drink.

[Th1onein]

88. I always wished that someone would tip me like that.

Do unto others.....

I'm very fortunate that I can do this. I know that most people can't.

[semillama]

89. Damn, I wish I had you as a customer when I was delivering pizzas

Even the pro football players I delivered to didn't tip that well, and they could afford it.

Even worse was hearing "Oh, I thought the tip was included in the price!"

[NeedleCast]

24. And that's fine

As long as you're tipping 15% for decent service, that's fine. If you wish to tip more, it's appreciated. You may "not think so" but 20-25% is generally what I tip.

[Sequoia]

40. I haven't been to a sit-down restaurant with service in quite some time.

[TahitiNut]

25. There are times it's warranted.

For example ... I often dine out with my 89-year-old mother. She's usually not inclined to have an entree. She'd often rather sip on coffee (decaf), smoke a cigarette, and nosh on the fresh bread. For a server, she's a Pain In The Ass, wanting refills on the coffee and VERY often ordering something "off the menu," like a dish of ice cream. (She, of course, thinks she's spending next to NOTHING. It's the way she thinks.) The server is, if anything, busier dealing with my mother than any other (paying) customer. Thus, I ALWAYS tip as though my mother had an entree ... and that's often 25% or more. (My mother hates that. Tough.)

[Leftist Agitator]

26. Unless you say that because you think that 25% is too low...

Then I feel compelled to point out that you are a cheap bastard.

[cherokeeprogressive]

70. At places I frequent, I sometimes tip 50 - 75%. Always in cash.

Why would I do something so foolish? Next week the Ms. and I will go to Dodger Stadium to take in a game, and before the game starts, we will go to the Stadium Club. I used to take clients there all the time when I had season tickets, and if I wasn't there with a client, I was there with the Ms. The way to stand out in a crowd and have the wait staff cater to YOU when you're trying to make a sale? TIP. TIP WELL. The Stadium Club is a very pricey place. $10 - 15+ for mixed drinks. It is also standing-room-only at the bar before games.

When we walk in, the bartender closest to the door will do his best to clear a place for us in his section even when the patrons are standing four deep waiting for service. We'll have a couple of mixed drinks apiece, a couple shots of Patron, and order from the Entree menu (not normally available to bar patrons). During the course of our visit, the other bartenders will come visit and call us by our first names. As we get ready to go to our seats, the tab will be in the vicinity of $35 - 50 bucks, when it SHOULD have been well over a hundred. $50 goes on my card, and I leave $50 - 75 in cash.

So, in the end, I wind up paying what anyone else would have paid. BUT, the majority of the money I spend there goes to the service staff, and while I'm there, I'm treated like I own the place. It's worth it, especially if you're there with a client and need to be seen as someone important. Am I important? Am I anyone special at all? Not only NO, but HELL NO. My existence is insignificant and my whereabouts are unimportant. I am, however, a very good tipper. It gets me the kind of treatment that gets other people's attention.

[Luciferous]

81. I usually tip 20-25%

if the service was especially good, why not?

[Burma Jones]

15. 20% is our standard, sometimes more, rarely less.

I like 20% because it's easy to figure out after a couple of martinis......


We have family in the restaurant business and will get 25% off our check when we go to their place, when that happens, we tip about 30% on the pre-discounted total....still saves us a little and the server gets a very nice tip. If the server is a niece or nephew, they get about 50%. If the place is busy, we tip more.

[MineralMan]

16. Good tips in the OP, but the threatening attitude bothers me.

I'm a good tipper, and always have been. There is only one time when I am not, and that's when the service is rude, unattentive, or non-existent.

I've been a server, and I've also been married to one. Lots of horror stories out there about customers, and it's no question that there are some horrible, horrible ones.

My solution is to ask friends if they have visited a restaurant I'm planning to visit for the first time. If I can't find a friend who has been there, I generally skip it. I try to find out how the food and service is before showing up.

Reviews, particularly web reviews by customers, serve if I'm in a strange city.

So, I rarely have a bad experience. Just a few times in my adult life have I felt moved to be unrewarding to waitstaff.

[NeedleCast]

28. No threat implied for the vast majority of customers

but I'd be lying if I said that servers will not treat assholes exactly how they deserve to be treated. Addtionally, servers are not always good...I've met some bad ones. I've fired some bad ones.

Thing is though, that bad servers seldom make it long in the food service industry. Some might, but not many, because they create a bad atmosphere for the rest of the employees first and foremost, but also because their tips tend to suck, they can't sustain themselves on what they make. The food service industry is very self regulating, believe it or not.

[we can do it]

23. How True- Thanks To All Restaurant Folks, I Know How Hard You Work

[rufus dog]

27. I don't completely agree with #9

Literally, planning to time 15% is great. But if the service sucks then 15% is not deserved. I usually tip in the 20% range, great service 25 -30%, outstanding service 40%, I have on occasion gone over 100% but that was based upon outstanding service with special circumstances. Conversely I have also given 5% for piss poor service. Poor food will only take it down to 10% for me, but if the food sucks and the server is standing by the kitchen door talking, not checking on tables, then tough shit, He/she gets docked.

[NeedleCast]

29. Understand the Intention of half the post...

Service often sucks because of a situation that is out of the servers hands.

If the food is poor, the person responsible is the cook and you should notify the server and the server should have it fixed. If you don't follow this proceedure, the person to blame is now you, because the server doesn't know the food is bad unless you point it out. You shouldn't be penalizing the server for poor food quality. Punish the establishment by not returning. Punish the cook by speaking with a manager.

This is why I recommend, short of an obviously rude server (and it happens), that you speak with a manager instead of simply penalizing the server.

I can't count the number of times I had a server come up to me pissed off because he/she got stiffed and the customer said - after eating everything on their plate - that the food was not good.

[On the Road]

31. I Do Understand the Point of the Original Poster

and that (1) adding mandatory tips to a small party is not standard practice anywhere that I know, and (2) customary tipping percentages are higher in NYC than in small towns and other parts of the country. 20% is the normal tip in NY, and if you're not familiar with that, it can be a little jarring, especially if 18% is forced on you.

Having been a waiter, I heartily agree with most of what you wrote, except for the implication that the customer is a thoughtless rube. (They definitely do exist, I have to hand it to you there.)

I would also take issue with the implication that when things go wrong, the server is generally not to blame. Waiters are often inattentive and do not time the courses well.

Having said that, it is one of the most exhausting jobs there is and takes diplomacy, timing, persuasion, patience, and stamina. Waiters earn their money.

[lukasahero]

32. Bravo!

:applause: :thumbsup:

I have little tolerance for people who claim they don't tip on the grounds that it supports an unfair wage structure. Fine, if that's what you believe, don't take it out on the server, take it out on the system and eat at home. Otherwise, tip the person who's busting their ass to take care fo you.

[Terran]

33. 15% at lunch, 20% at dinner.

That's my standard. I think in my small town servers are accustomed to crappy tipping, they they generally love us (me and my partner).

Good post.

[lumberjack_jeff]

34. Why are tip rates escalating?

At one time 15% was considered ample. The tip receipts go up in direct proportion to the escalating cost of meals.

Mind you, it really matters little to me. I've gone out to dinner at a place with waitstaff six or seven times in the last five years.

I simply can't afford to (and won't) pay $20 for ingredients which cost $1.50, and particularly not if I'm remiss and risk my wellbeing by only paying twice that inherent value as a tip.

Asscrack contamination is not a risk in my kitchen, that observation alone validates my decision to avoid restaurants at all cost.

When I go to the grocery store, the "waitstaff" are nice to me, and don't threaten to urinate in my wheaties. And they do it for free.

[NashVegas]

36. Because The Internet Allows Restaurant Workers to Say So

15% has always been considered the standard. You go higher for good-->better service, and/or you feel generous.

[lumberjack_jeff]

38. Well the internet says that lumberjacks should be paid honoraria.

20% or I sic termites on your house.

[NashVegas]

44. Insane Bastard

Come on down here and try it.

[lumberjack_jeff]

49. Fine, but it'll take awhile to hook the team of trained termites up to my sleigh.

The good part is that unlike reindeer, they really do fly, but it takes a lot of 'em to hoist my portly self.

[NeedleCast]

37. Seems Reasonable

I'll just say that you're not paying $20 for ingredients which cost $1.50. You're paying for that plus the service of having someone else prepare said ingredients for you.

Further broken down, it goes something like this.

The cost of a large, supreme pizza is, on average, about 10 to 15% of what we charged for it. If a supreme pizza cost 12 dollars, its reasonable to assume the cost of the ingredients is about a dollar twenty. But the restaurant has to pay the wages of a person to put those ingredients together. We have to pay rental on a property where we put those ingredients into some sort of heating or preparation device that we've paid for. We have to pay for electricity to keep the lights on and gas to keep the ovens on so we can make it for you.

It's not just about paying for the cost of the food...that's sort of the entire point of dining out.

[lumberjack_jeff]

39. The other apparent point is to be a big enough tipper that the cook won't use your pancake for TP.

[MindPilot]

42. Yes. In the car biz we called that rule

"Don't piss off the guy who's about to fix your brakes."

[lumberjack_jeff]

51. Good to know. What kind of tips do brake guys get? n/t

[KitSileya]

60. Heck, you forgot the most important part.

I'm willing to pay pretty much for a meal out, even if the ingredients may be worth a fraction of the cost of the meal, simply because not only don't I have to make the meal, I don't have to clean the dishes afterwards! As someone without a dishwasher, that's always the highlight of any meal out - no saucepans, china, silverware to wash!

I always have to adjust when going back and forth between the US and Norway, as in Norway it is not usual to tip highly. People in the restaurant business are paid according to tariffs, and so they don't depend on the tips like in the US. Paying them 15-20% tip is therefore excessive - while in the US, after I start remembering to tip properly, get more than 20% simply because I earn a Norwegian salary, and that compares very favorably to any US jobs. I can afford it, so I pay more, and it's still cheaper than eating out in Norway because of the difference in prices.

[RB TexLa]

35. There is an even easier way: Cook and serve your own food.

[madmom]

41. I have a question about an incident that happened to me in a restaurant

that calls itself a "working man's" restaurant. Actually it's a pub, but my SO and I frequent there a lot, to the point the regular wait staff know us. There is one in particular that comes to refill my drink she'll takes the drink of the person behind me, if they have the same drink(usually iced tea) refills both at the same time. How do I tell her discretely(because the other customer can hear me) that I don't want the drink because I'm not sure she gave me the right one.I used to wait tables and I always thought this was a big no-no. She has done this several times. Also I don't get the idea of why should a tip be given if the service was bad? I don't care if they only make a couple bucks an hour if the service is bad I don't tip, if it's good I and my SO are quite generous.

[NeedleCast]

62. Answers For You

Regarding refills...wow, that's a great question and I don't think I ever had to address it. One thing you might do is (if they have paper napkins) stick a bit of napkin to the bottom of your cup. The condensation should get it to stick and if you don't have napkin on your cup when you get it back, just ask for a new cup. Alternativly, you might just ask for a new cup/glass when you get your refill...say you accidently spilled got some salt or pepper in your drink.

Regarding tipping...like I said, there ARE bad servers out there and leaving them a minimal or no tip is okay, as far as I'm concerned. Having worked as a manager, I'd like to get those people off my staff anyway...believe me if you have a consistantly poor server that that person is making life harder for everyone on the staff. What I wanted to point out was that because servers are the "face" of the restaurant, they often catch the blame for things that are not their fault, so take that into account when deciding whether you got bad service from the server, or maybe something else happened. Remember, it's a two way relationship. If your food took too long, ask the server a casual question about it "is the kitchen backed up?" "New cooks tonight?" A good server will get your drift and SHOULD be able to give you an explanation. Watch your server...do they have more than about 12-14 other customers? If so, they're probably "in the weeds" and that's often the fault of management or an inexperienced server.

Now, if you're just getting bad service, and like I said, it happens I would again refer you to the manager. IMO, I'd much rather the customer report bad service than for it to go on without me knowing that people are leaving the place I'm trying to run having had a bad experience.

[AwakeAtLast]

43. Just curious since you are/were a manager

My husband is allergic to mushrooms. We have found that restaurant employees will flat out lie to his face that an item does not have mushrooms. Servers and managers have done this. He was served a steak with mushrooms on top, he reminded (again) about his allergy, they came back later with what they said was a new steak. He spent the night singing love songs to the porcelain god.

What do you suggest we do to get restaurant employees to understand that he really has this allergy and they could really make him sick (or worse!) if they are not honest with us? We should have the opportunity to enjoy an evening in a restaurant.

I appreciate you giving us the benefit of your experiences. Thanks a bunch!

:hi:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

45. I've had the same problem with hot peppers.

I ordered bean and cheese nachos with NO PEPPERS.

They were sent out with jalapeno slices on them. I sent them back and reiterated NO PEPPERS.

They picked the slices off, and sent it back out. I picked one up, bit into it, and instantly tasted the pepper juice. Sent them back again, told them to make FRESH nachos with NO PEPPERS.

Eventually they got the idea.

Now I practically only eat out at Subway or Quiznos where I can get a fresh sandwich. I can't eat pizza, shellfish, or spicy stuff. I had some beef nachos at Chili's once, and I don't know what they used for seasoning, but I was up all night belching. They put lots of weird spices in food that I can't handle.

[NeedleCast]

63. You've discovered a bad restaurant!

I wouldn't mind you airing their name and location. It sounds like they just took his steak back to the kitchen, did a scrape and sent it right back out. That's awful. It's their fault they messed up the order, and they need to eat the cost and make a new steak.

For people with strong food allergies, I'd recommend a few things. First, find a place where you're comfortable with the service. Some people think that the price on the menu is going to represent the level of service you get. Not always true. So find a place where you're comfortable talking to the staff and become a regular there.

If you're at a fine dining establishment, ask to speak to the chef and explain the situation to him. If he's of any quality at all in supervising his/her kitchen, they'll make sure your order is prepared correctly. I've never worked as a chef of sou chef but I love to cook and I love to talk about food and most quality chefs do too.

Lastly, here's just a few easy tips

1. Avoid chain places. This isn't always the case, but chains tend to have high staff turn-over rate. Finding a place where the staff gets familiar with you is good.

2. Become familiar with your local dining scene. Lots of good reasons for this but in your case you want to find places that are not crowded. Restaurants can be strange. You might have a Ruby Tuesday that's packed on Monday night next to an Outback that's empty...maybe the Ruby is running a killer special on Monday. Maybe the Outback sucks. Who knows. Point being, you need to avoid crowded places. Find places that are slow or moderatly busy on the nights you want to eat out. The staff will have more time to give you individual attention. Servers wont be weeded, chefs will have time to come out of the kitchen, managers wont be going insane.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

46. BOB EVANS is not a restaurant, it's a reheating facility.

I was once in Mo. and ordered beef stroganoff on noodles. When it came out it was stringy and had lots of fat on it. I called the manager over and she said she couldn't do anything about it, because they just reheat the frozen food they get in prefab packages, as I understood it.

I will never eat at a BOB EVANS again. She was nice, but she couldn't do anything about the quality of the meat.

:grr: :banghead:

I guess I'm just too goddamn picky. :banghead: :grr:

[AwakeAtLast]

50. I don't think you're picky

I don't know why a restaurant can't actually "cook" food! Isn't that why they exist? :shrug:

Now I know why that last meal I ate at Bob Evans tasted like a salt lick. :puke:

[Berry Cool]

52. It's really a shame. Bob Evans used to have really good, home-cooked-style food.

Now it all tastes prefab. And they don't serve free hot biscuits and honey anymore (and when you do order biscuits, they're barely warm).

[Manifestor_of_Light]

54. That's the first and last time I will ever eat at a BOB EVANS.

I live in Texas and had never seen one of those before. We don't have them in Texas.

[Bunny]

47. I just put up a post in the Lounge. I'm curious to know if any of these "kitchen commandos" have

ever actually done this.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8676062&mesg_id=8676062

[justabob]

55. Thank you for that

You said it very well! This restaurant vet is grateful for this PSA. (Especially the well done steak :) How many times have I had a table that told me..... 'we're in a hurry' then they order well done everything AND separate checks!)

[Indepatriot]

56. I work in a Prime Rib Joint in L.A.

Most folks are just great, but at least a couple of times a week you get some who make you sad about the state of humanity.( I'm not even referring to the time I served Ann Coulter! ) Last week I gave excellent service to a group of five,three courses,wine service,coffee, desert. All throughout the meal everything was "great" according to them, then grandma said "I'll take the bill" and left me $15 on a $ 350 bill! Took my large table (25% of my section) all frickken night and left me 15 bucks! Just today I had to deal with management over a customer who complained that I'd "forgotten" his free birthday dessert. I hadn't forgotten it at all, merely offered coffee and desert to his party of 4, and before anyone could answer he bellowed " I get a free dessert for my birthday" Gee buddy sorry to offer proper service to your "guests". And I can't tell you how many times people have asked me to take the coupon off their half of the check, like sharing the 12bucks with their "friends" is gonna break em'. If I ever dined out w/friends who pulled that crap it'd be the last.....

[NeedleCast]

65. I hear you

People sometimes don't realize (and often don't care) that you basically worked for nothing the night you got 15$ on a 350 dollar check. If it was a place that required tip-out (and I'm assuming it did considering the price of the check) then after a few bucks to the bus staff and kitchen staff, you made nothing off that table. It boils my blood to hear stories like that because it just shows how inconsiderate or just outright rude people can be.

[doctor jazz]

68. That really was a crappy tip. What percentage do you typically get?

:-)

[MercutioATC]

75. Another important point: When possible, pay the tip in cash.

Servers don't have to wait for their tips and it's off-the-books money if you tip in cash.

[LibDemAlways]

77. Grandma taking the bill was most likely what led to the

puny tip. My elderly father is a notoriously poor tipper. He still tips as though the meal cost what it did 50 years ago, and there's no use arguing with him about it. As we get up from a restaurant table, I compensate by leaving more behind his back.

I think the man who demanded his free birthday dessert was very rude. However, I've been with people in the same situation who've become agitated thinking they've been forgotten about when the server offers coffee and dessert to the entire table without first "surprising" the birthday celebrant.

As for having to serve Ann Coulter, that must have taken every bit of professionalism you could muster. My deepest sympathies.

[baldguy]

57. Thank you

[Emit]

58. I always wondered if most folks tip according to the pre tax total or after tax

I use the after tax total, but I have read that others tip according to the pre tax total. What's your opinion on this?

[NeedleCast]

66. I tip off after tax total

I know some areas where tipping off the pre-tax total is easy becasue tax is either 10% or 5% and you can either double the tax or quadruple the tax to hit 20%. Often, that's going to work out to a decent tip. Just remember that the bigger the check is, the bigger the difference between pre and post tax total. Just about all guides I know recommend tipping off after tax total.

[tomreedtoon]

59. A few more suggestions...

Try to remember your waitperson's name and refer to him or her by that name. A human being is serving you, not a robot.

If something goes wrong, and the waitperson tries to address that problem, STILL tip the basic 20 percent. You are being helped, the waitperson is going above and beyond standard service, and deserves the full tip.

[ulysses]

64. 20% is my standard amount

and I include delivery drivers in that. Orders from our old Chinese delivery place used to get to the house before I put down the phone. :D

[NeedleCast]

67. I've worked in a pizza join too

when I was in my teens and you are absolutly right. As a delivery driver, my fellow drivers and I knew where the good tippers were and fought to get those drops. Those pies showed up hot and fresh as was possible.

We also knew who the no tippers were. They got their pies and I never messed with them, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to stop off at the 7-11 for a pack of smokes, a coke and ten minutes chit-chatting with my buddy who worked there on the way.

[Sequoia]

69. Restaurant Etiquette: Getting Our Manners Back in Shape

(Heh, heh....you must be on to something!)

A certain amount of decorum is appropriate when sitting down to any meal in a restaurant, but these days it seems like people have thrown good manners by the wayside. Over the last 20 years, there has been an increase in the percentage of personal income spent on eating away from home. This shift in spending has directly contributed to the rise in the number of restaurants. Jennifer Berg, professor of Food and Culture in NYU’s Department of Nutrition, Food Studies & Public Health, says that this proliferation of restaurants plays a part in the lax behavior that is being witnessed. In the customers’ minds, they are doing the restaurant a favor by choosing one place to eat over another, and restaurants should be beholden to them.

http://www.starchefs.com/features/editors_dish/etiquette/index.shtml

9. Tipping
As bad as some of us claim to be at math, we all become human calculators when it comes to figuring the standard 15-20% of a check. Tips are a customer’s way to provide feedback about the service in a restaurant, and should be used to reflect quality. If service is inattentive, forgetful, rude or careless, leave a smaller tip to indicate your displeasure. Only in extreme cases should a tip never be given. By the same token, if you feel your server would go to any length to make you happy, a 20-25% (or greater) tip is advisable.

[NeedleCast]

72. Yup, I know professionals who are normal people at the office

who suddenly forget their manners or act like complete ass-wookies as soon as they enter a bar or restaurant. I've never been able to explain it although it's something I will call people on (and generally try to avoid going out in public places with them). Like I said in the OP (or tried) your dining experience is a two way street and that seems to be something that many people forget. You don't have be be BFFE with your servers, but treating them like humans goes a long way to ensuring you have a good meal and experience.

[MedleyMisty]

71. We start at 20% on the tip

and go up from there. We're quite well-liked at our regular restaurants. :)

So whenever we go out with my family, we make sure that we have some change to add to their tip. They really are well-meaning people but I just don't think that they're aware of how much wait staff gets paid per hour and so they tend to leave small tips. But they think that they're leaving a good tip, if intentions count for anything.

Of course, I spent three years working drive-thru in a fast food place. So I know what it's like, and I very well know the urge to mess up someone's food when they're an asshole as well as the urge to do the best you can for the nice and caring elderly couples who come every day and are your friends and treat you like a human being.

A lot more assholes came through my drive-thru than decent humans, which is a large part of why I took to self-injury to cope and why my husband eventually told me to quit because it wasn't worth it while I sobbed uncontrollably while getting ready for work one day. But I remember the decent ones - the guy who came back through and gave me a rose, the little old lady who talked to me for a bit about relationships and said that mine must be true love, the formerly mentioned couples who came every day.

Of course, I also remember the assholes. Which is why I order quickly and concisely, am understanding of stress and mistakes and busy-ness, say thank you, and leave a big tip in non-fast food establishments.

[davsand]

74. I continue to be amazed at the people who never say Please or Thank You to servers.

Maybe this is just my own personal hang up, but I ALWAYS use Please and Thank You with anybody who is doing anything for me--like servers in a restaurant for example. It might sound like I'm some kind of buttwound "Miss Manners" devotee, but this just seems like basic stuff to me. I was always taught that you do that each and every time without fail.

We were in a Perkins recently (not exactly "fine dining" but at least they cook it and bring it to you--and that is HUGE to me if I have had a crappy day) and we ordered our food. We were sitting there and our wait was taking an order at the table there next to us. There were four guys in suits at that table and not ONE said "Please" or "Thank You" that I heard. My 11 year old understands this stuff, but those adults, apparently don't.

It might sound like a very small thing--but taking time to acknowledge the servers' efforts is something a lot of people never do. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to do, either.



Laura

[NeedleCast]

76. Very Good Point

That little bit of praise and appreciation goes a long way. There's no "miss manners" thing to it...just common courtesy which seems to elude some people. People would be shocked to know how much it means to most servers for someone to give them praise, even if you just write "Thanks, we had a great evening/experience" at the bottom of the check. I've seen little kindnesses like that send servers into the restroom in tears (of joy).

[davsand]

80. As a manager when was the last time a customer complimented the service?

That is another thing that I've always thought should be a regular practice. When I get good service I TELL the manager about it. It doesn't TAKE that long and you need to know this stuff. If I can take the time to bitch I can take the time to compliment as well. Sounds alien, maybe, but life sucks bad enough and if I can do anything to improve it even a little bit--I do.

FWIW, I have a grocery store I shop in faithfully, and I am on a first name basis with employees, the store manager, and the customer service manager. I know when the babies are due, when they or their kids are graduating or moving, and what the test results were on that last biopsy because I take a little longer to ASK how they are doing and get to know them.

I think they probably give excellent service there to most customers, but I know for a fact that when I need or ask about anything it is taken care of RIGHT NOW. I know that when I grocery shop it might take me a little longer, but I get called by name and I get told about upcoming specials or handed coupons for stuff they know I buy. To me, that means an awful lot.

I find it kinda sad that we are living in a world where taking the time to be "nice" has become strange, somehow. It amazes hell out of me that as adults any of us have to be reminded that it is needful to recognize and support other people and the effort they put forth.


Laura

[NeedleCast]

85. Last time I worked in the industry was

15 years ago, so take this with a grain of salt (although I still have many friends in the food service industry).

I'll tell you about the place I managed first. It was The Oasis on Town Lake in Austin, Texas (great place DU'ers...stop by if you get a chance). It's a HUGE place. WHen I was there (gosh...1995 through most of 97 I think), we seated about 400-500. The place is four levels of wooden decks on the side of a hill overlooking a big lake, facing the sun set. Thursday through Sunday dinner service ran an hour line, on average, without reservation. A typical night would be the GM, plus three or four managers. Place burned down a few years ago (lightning hit the propane tanks and you can imagine what happens to several acres of wooden deck when a fire gets going). They're rebuilt it better, stronger, faster, now and it looks great. Anyway.

On average, I'd get zero to four tables a night asking to speak to the manager for a complaint (and zero to two for praise). That's going to be, on average, 25 four-top tables (or the equivelant in two, four and six+ tops), flipped (hopefully) three to four times each on a weekend night. Understand I took that seriously. I knew the owners of the place and they were (and are) great people and I wanted to do good by them because they treated employees well. Generally, if the restaurant was at fault, the easiest thing for me to do (and to get the customer to come back) is give them something. Coupon for next time works best. Just have to judge by the group. First thing I do when I get a server telling me they have a problem is look at the POS system and see what they ordered. Did they drink a few rounds of beer? Easy fix is going to be for me to go tell them we're sorry (x) went wrong, why don't you guys come over to the bar and let me buy you a round on the house. By being attentive to the individual I can usually find a way to fix the issue. I tried to "train" my servers that way as well.

That being said, the world is full of assholes too and I'd rather them never come back. That's why in my OP I said that the very best way to fix a situation is to calmly point it out to a manager. If a customer is beligerant or abusive to my staff I'd always step in and deal with it. If someone is going to lose their mind because we forgot to take the onions off their cheese enchilada plate, okay. That's an easy fix I'm happy to make and I'm happy to give you a little extra to make up for the mistake but if you're going to be a douche about it, my desire to help you bottoms out fast. We made a mistake and I'll be happy to fix it but if you're going to be abusive I'd rather you just leave and not come back. Best for them, best for my staff.

Then you have the 10%'ers. They're the ones who are trying to get over. I called them 10%ers because it made up about 10% of the total complaints. I'm talking about the people who ate every crumb of food on their plate, then complaind that the food was bad. Sorry, I didn't fall off the turnip truck today, and I know this song. The multiple order change to intentionally confuse staff to the point of forcing errors onto them. The peroxide blonde who found a (peroxide blond) hair in her food...let me go check my kitchen to see how many of the cooks have mid-back length died blonde hair. Answer: None.

[Kalyke]

78. Good tips, but I have a little beef to pick (no pun intended) with you

when you say, "I'm not sure why you want a succulent steak turned into a hockey puck..."

Now, I'm not a well-doner - I'm a medium-weller, but I hate the snobbery from people who like their steaks to "moo" when they stick a fork in them toward those of us who think bloody meat is gross.

Plus, anything I don't cook myself, I want to make sure reaches a temp where I know bacteria can no longer live. I don't know every restaurant's cooking practices, so it's kind of prudent to get the blood out.

Just lettin' you know - not really fussin'. :hi:

[NeedleCast]

79. Hehe, I'm biased, I know

I'm a medium-rare. I get what you're saying though. As someone else pointed out in the thread (and I did to, to an extent), people need to understand that medium-well and well done steaks take a while to prepare, especially if it's a thick cut. I've had people tell me "make it well done and then leave it on the grill for another five minutes" then start getting rude after their entrees aren't ready in eight minutes. Putting the manager hat back on, I want people to enjoy their food no matter how it's ordered, but they need to have some understanding that it takes awhile to turn a New York strip into a brick.

[KatyMan]

82. I take small umbrage with #'s 1 and 9

We eat out once a week, usually at the same places. We tip well for good service, and aren't rude customers, even when service is poor, because we understand there are usually underlying causes beyond anyone's control, and that's ok.
But if a customer is rude, for the implied threat that the next time the server will spit on your food, or it will 'through the ass crack of an angry cook' is just wrong, and is not ever acceptable. Imagine if you took your computer to a shop to get fixed, and were having a bad day, and were rude to the tech. Does that make it ok for him to put a virus on your PC? Or for your mechanic to drain your oil? Whenever this sort of topic comes up it's always a 'nudge nudge wink wink' thing from servers and restaurant people, like the customer deserves it. If you're in a service industry (food, IT, retail, hell, nursing) and your customer is rude, deal with it like an adult.
For #9, tipping. As I said, I understand servers are low paid, and I tend to overtip, which is why my wife won't let me tip anymore (she does the math for us now :) ). But why the frak don't restaurants just pay their servers a decent wage? Why should I pay for my meal and pay the servers as well? A tip should be what it is: a benefit or bonus for good service and attentiveness.
And what if a person can't afford a big tip? Does that mean thier food gets spit on because a person is poor, and is going out for an occasional rare treat?

[NeedleCast]

86. Answers

Regarding #1

Yes, you're correct and I said that only to raise awareness. Giving a server a hard time is about the least effective way to correct a problem and, ultimately, these are the people that are going to handle your food...and your credit card! Another thing people often over-look. Do you really want to give your Visa to the server you spent the last hour pissing all over? Not a good idea. I'm not saying it should happen, but I know it does. Not everywhere and not frequently, but it's best to just not roll the dice, yeah?

Also understand that when you say "deal with it like an adult" that's fine, but that doesn't give anyone cause to be rude, condescending or belligerent to anyone in the service industry.

Regarding #9

If you can't afford to leave 15% at a minimum for standard/good service, you shouldn't dine out at a place that tipping is expected. As I've explained elsewhere in the thread, the system is not perfect and I'd much rather see servers paid a decent wage than have to survive on tips but if you're going to go to such an eating establishment, you are tacitly supporting the system and therefore you're expected to tip. No matter what argument you make against the system or the restaurant, you ARE punishing the server - and only the server and staff, not the establishment - if you leave no or low tips unless the service is bad and is obviously the fault of the server. You may want to get out for your occasional rare treat at a nice restaurant but you have no excuse for punishing the server because you can't afford a 15-18% tip. I can't afford a 64 inch flat screen plasma, so I don't have a 64 inch flat screen plasma.

[siligut]

87. I rarely tip less than 20%.

I appreciate anybody who brings me food! I also tip at the fast food drive-up windows and when I pick up take-out. Just a dollar or 2 then. Delivery people get 3-5 dollars, depending.

One time I was eating out with my husband and the male waiter was just overly flirtatious, overly; it almost felt condescending and made my husband uncomfortable. I tipped 15% that time, even though we were well known at this restaurant, I was just bothered. I will tell you, we were treated differently after that so we just don’t go there anymore.

[semillama]

90. One thing I'dd put in as an addendum

Watch Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. I've learned more about how a restaurant operates and how food gets from the kitchen to the customer than I actually did from my brief stint in a commercial chain restaurant! The show really demonstrates where problems occur, and it really seems like it's mainly a result of poor logistical planning (and bad cooks).

If you've seen the show, what do you think of it? Is my impression of what it has to teach people about restaurants anywhere near accurate?

[Raster]

91. Gordon Ramsey = overpaid culinary drama queen.

On edit: Gordon Ramsey = Overexposed, overpaid culinary drama queen.

[NeedleCast]

92. Kitchen Nightmares...

That's kinda...well, I dunno. First, I hate "celebrity chefs," at least the ones with these silly shows. Shows like Iron Chef, where the focus is on the food and not the ego of the chefs, I like. Thing is, Gordon Ramsey, IMO, is not a spectacular chef. He's good, no doubt, but he's a better business man. His restaurants do well because he knows how to run a restaurant, which is something about 75% of owners can't do and why restaruants - even those with good food - often fail. I've watched his other show, Hell's Kitchen a few times and usually walk away from it with nothing more than a desire to punch the fucker in the neck. As a person who's been through Army basic training, Ramsey rates about a 2 on my give-a-shit meter in terms of him being some scary, over-bearing guy. I've seen a lot worse. A LOT worse. All these amature chefs bowing and scraping to him...I don't get it and would never do it.

I think the show does do at least a decent job of showing some of the "under the tablecloth" of the industry. Bottom line is that a restaurant is a business. It MUST have a good owner, GM or (preferably) both. The GM needs to be a person with a commanding personality. If he/she isn't, they'll get run over by the rest of the staff and things usually go to shit pretty quick after that. A GM needs to have good managers under him/her. Managers are going to be the people who deal with serious complaints the most. They need to be able to multi-task because they play a lot of roles. Most importantly, they need to be able to run a floor staff. One bad server can kill a small/medium sized restaurant with a quickness.

Overall though, Kitchen Nightmares, like any reality show, is about the sensationalism. They pick the worst spots (obviously) and usually film there for a week or so, then edit it all down to one hour.

[Raster]

93. I am a foodie and amateur chef. I considered culinary school about 10 years back.

A good friend of mine is the GM of one of the best private clubs in the country. He told me that there are three qualities to a great chef: (1) able to cook well; (2) able to efficiently manage a kitchen; and (3) able to manage people.

[NeedleCast]

94. That's Pretty Much it

Although it's harder than it sounds.

[Raster]

95. Yep. My friend said most chefs can cook. Some can manage a kitchen and cook.

A very small few can cook well, manage a kitchen efficiently and manage people. That's why truly great chefs are in constant demand, and mediocre run-of-the-mill chefs are everywhere.

[DailyGrind51]

96. Eat at home and save money!

[depakid]

97. People rarely tip at all in Australia

but then again, restaurant employees make living wages- with the overal minimum wage set at $14.31 an hour.

Of course, without the tip incentive service is usually a bit slack- but the food's great and Aussies tend not to be in such a hurry....

[Springs1]

98. Restaurant Service

If you stay an extra hour and order nothing, please compensate your server with a moderate increase in tip.

Sorry, but tips are for "SERVICE" ONLY, NOT for just sitting. If you aren't doing anything at all for the customers, WHY should you get an increase? We aren't "RENTING" that table from you? If anything, if we were renting the table, we'd pay the owner, NOT YOU!

If the service is over, so is the the tipping! TIPS STAND FOR - TO INSURE PROPER OR PROMPT SERVICE!! Notice the word "SERVICE?"

That's being selfish to think customers should pay you more just because they want to sit for an hour longer. If we aren't ordering or asking for anything, guess what? We aren't in need of you during the hour, so WHY should we consider that hour in the tip? Let's say I have paid my bill at 8:00p.m.. Let's say we stay until 9p.m., well what have you done to *******EARN********* MORE MONEY? You haven't done ANYTHING, so tipping for that hour for NO SERVICE would be nuts. Do you like paying for something you aren't receiving? Do you like throwing money away? If there's no more service, the tip is over with as well. The tip has been given at 8p.m. If we stay until 9p.m., that has NOTHING to do with you earning more money. It shouldn't matter if a party stays 3 hours if they aren't asking for anything anymore. They aren't in need of your services anymore. The service is over with, so is the tipping.

2. Understand that sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes its the fault of the server. Usually it's not. An order gets lost, food isn't prepared correctly...mistakes happen. You're the customer, you have a right to be satisfied. You do not have the right to be abusive and, as in almost all things, you will get better results by showing kindness and understanding that you will by ranting and raving.

Actually, most of the time it IS the server's fault, quite honestly.

1. The server can input the order wrong into the computer.

2. The server can bring you the wrong food.

3. The server can forget to bring something from the kitchen to our table.

4. The server can bring out something wrong that is very obvious such as the customer states "NO bbq sauce on their ribs, just on the side", then brings out the ribs with bbq sauce on them and/or no side of bbq sauce. That's not the kitchen staff's fault my server didn't get the mistake fixed before they brought me the food wrong, is it?

5. If another server brings out the food, it's still part of our service if we receive a mistake with our food, even if our server put the order in right, the service still suffers regardless. So when I have had another server a couple of times forget a side dish that wasn't my server, I still took it out on the tip, because for one thing I don't know if my server is at fault and even if I did, it's part of my service that sucks, therefore it's something that should affect the tip. The other server may be at fault for forgetting my side dish, but the tip IS and SHOULD be affected, because it's part of the service.

6. Containers or bottles of condiments can always be brought out ahead of time, so you cannot blame ANYONE ELSE for YOU forgetting those since they need no COOKING involved and take less than 5 minutes to get to me.

When the food is not prepared correctly, SOME mistakes you can literally SEE without having to TOUCH the food to notice them. Things like no ranch on the plate when I ordered ranch is OBVIOUS and is 100% the server's fault REGARDLESS of WHO delivers the food to me, because ranch needs no cooking. There's no need to wait 15-35 or so minutes to bring me ranch. I would say don't just bring it, because some customers may not like that, but you can OFFER to bring it out ahead of time to ENSURE that part comes out correctly.

Once, I had a stupid waitress at Outback bring me dark brown overdone fries when I had specifically told her "Lightly cooked, yellow, not overdone fries" when I placed my order. I noticed within 2 seconds of the plate in front of me and even my husband agreed with me that the fries looked extremely overdone. I have had the fries lightly cooked A LOT there, so it's not like this restaurant can't do it. The uncaring waitress didn't apologize. She blamed the kitchen staff by saying "I put the order in right" or something like that. I couldn't believe how stupid she was to think it wasn't her fault. I know she didn't cook my fries, but if I would have been the server, I would have REFUSED to SERVE the fries like that. I would have told the kitchen staff to recook a set of fries. That's the server's job. My job is not to tell the server about DUH, OBVIOUS mistakes like that. Color differences should be OBVIOUS to the server's eyes. This isn't rocket science. I was nice about the mistake by just simply repeating my order by telling her I had ordered my fries lightly cooked, not overdone. It's ashame that servers don't want to apologize when they are wrong and want to blame the kitchen staff at times. It's also ashame that they are too lazy to COMPARE the written orders to each plate of food BEFORE DELIVERING IT TO THE TABLE. My server's job is to bring my order as right as the server can SEE. That's why I am tipping the server. NOT just to bring me anything, but to try their very best to make me happy by getting what I ordered the way I ordered it as far as not only trying to put in the order correctly to begin with, but also trying to bring it out as obviously correct as they possibly can.

You will show better results with APOLOGIZING and ADMITTING FAULT when you are wrong instead of being defensive. MOST customers aren't stupid. They know who is at fault and who isn't.

The things a server cannot control would be if they put in the order right would be things like:
1. Raw food if it's not obvious

2. A steak cooked incorrectly if there isn't an obvious color difference such as rare vs. well done. If another server brings out an obvious color difference mistake, my server couldn't control that if they put in the order correctly, BUT, it still does affect the service.

3. A wrong burrito filling

4. Something covered up by something else that cannot be easily seen such as a pickle under a bun.

There may be other things I cannot think of, but the point is, MOST food mistakes ARE the server's fault in general. If another server brings out the food wrong even if the main server put the order in 100% correctly, that still is part of the service. Yes, it's unfair, but it's unfair to the customer as well if you think we should tip based on as if nothing went wrong when it did. Good tips are for good service, so even if YOU didn't bring me the wrong food and put in the order right or you didn't forgot my side dish or whatever kind of obvious mistake I have, I will still have lousy service waiting for the correct food. WHY should I tip well based on the fact I am not happy with my service even if YOU aren't in control of the other server messing up? Tipping is based on SERVICE.

I know this post is you mention "FINE DINING", but these type of mistakes can happen at any restaurants, even fine dining ones.

1. You will be waited on by a server. Please understand that this does not mean they are a servant. Treat them like humans. Servers are your link between the kitchen and the food that's about to go into your body. Think about that for a minute before being arrogant, condescending or acting like you are entitled to a crown. These are the people who stand between whether you enjoy a nice steak and vegetable or enjoy a nice steak and vegetable that has passed through the ass crack of an angry cook. Be nice, and they will almost certainly be nice as well.

Treat us like humans too. We WANT that apology. We want you to ask your manager to comp something if something went wrong that was MAJOR such as a wrong entree.

There's to a point when I will be nice, but if the server keeps making so many mistakes, you can tell they aren't trying their best and are very lazy or just aren't cut out to be a server. Don't expect me to be nice to you if you be rude or don't even try to get my order obviously right.

10. If something is wrong with your food, drinks, experience, et. al. I will say again that the person you're going to want to see is the manager.

Sorry, but calling a manager over isn't our job. That's the SERVER'S JOB if it's something went wrong that was major. Do you think customers want to talk to a manager? They didn't go out to eat to be miserable, did they?

It's YOUR JOB to do all the talking to the manager and YOUR JOB to decide if it's approrpiate to get them to the customer's table or not. For instance, you forget my ranch, that's minor. I don't want to speak to a manager over that. If you bring me the completely wrong food, it's YOU that should try to make it right by telling your manager and asking to comp the item. If the manager won't comp something, I think you should pay for at least something, even if it's just a soft drink at the very least for messing up their outing. NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER! WHO wants to deal with negativity? We don't go out to eat to complain to a manager.

Don't make it out to be the manager's fault. Honestly, I think if something is bugging you a lot, you should tell your server at the end of the service(so they won't have the opportunity to spit in your food or drinks). Sometimes, I don't feel you should have to tell your server what went wrong if it's obvious. Things like making a customer wait 10 minutes to get their check they requested, which then you wonder why the customers stiffed you. Like DUH, customers that ask for their check generally want to leave as soon as possible. We have stiffed due to once 17 minute wait to get our check rung up. We were held hostage until we got to pay our bill in a way. I think stiffing is deserved when you wait that long for something 100% in the server's control such as a refill or the check.