Dad hammers Wyo. teen's phone after mega-bill

[proud2BlibKansan]

CHEYENNE — In one month, a Cheyenne teenager sent 10,000 text messages and received about the same — all while her family's plan did not include texting.

<skip>

The girl's parents, Gregg and Jaylene Christoffersen, thought texting had been disabled, so one can imagine their surprise when they got the monthly phone bill and it asked for $4,756.25.

<skip>

Dena Christoffersen, 13, had apparently been sending most of these messages at school. That's more than 300 texts within an eight-hour period every
Gregg Christoffersen was shocked to see his daughter's texting bill. (9News)
day for the whole month.

Needless to say, it drew attention away from what she should have been doing: paying attention in class.

"She went from A's and B's one semester to F's in two months," Dena's dad said.

Hours after the enormous bill arrived, Gregg Christoffersen took a hammer to his daughter's phone.

more . . . http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_12097656

[SpiralHawk]

1. Kids these days...

Why can't they be like we were
Perfect in every way.
What's the matter with kids today...

[Javaman]

96. I say we detach their thumbs and give them back on their 18th birthday...

of course, opening doors, tying their shoes, etc would be a bit of a problem, but kids are smart, they'll figure it out...

:rofl:

[Democracyinkind]

2. I read about a german teenager who used the mobile inet function constantly, 20,000 Euro-bill ...

These stories are just insane.

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. Why does a 13 year old need a cell phone?

I think this story is a great example of why they DON'T need cell phones. LOL

[Democracyinkind]

6. I think the OP makes that clear - only 13 olds guarantee 5,000 dollar bills.

The whole business is a scam to empty the pockets of gullible teens. That's talking from a European perspective, I don't know how bad things are in the states regarding that currently.

I agree with you. They don't need it. I certainly didn't with 13.

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. Well we know she doesn't need to be texting at school

And if she needs to use a phone, I would imagine they have them there at that school.

[Common Sense Party]

141. And why does the school ALLOW kids to text during class?

At my daughter's junior high, cell phones have to stay in the locker.

My daughter doesn't have a cell phone, and probably won't until she's out of the house.

[orleans]

168. when my daughter was in jr. high they were not allowed to bring cell phones

to school. we had to smuggle hers in and she had to keep it turned off in her purse. but--due to our family circumstances it was important that we could communicate if needed after school. at least now kids are allowed to posess a phone.

a friend said she can't get the high schoolers to stop texting in her classes. i think if i was in her position i'd have everyone turn their phones in when they entered the room and hand them back at the end of class.

[Goblinmonger]

171. You do know how hard that is to stop, right?

Most of them can text blind in their pocket. If all I had to do for the 50 minutes I have kids in my class is stop each one from texting I wouldn't be successful but I actually have content to teach. Sure I stop them if it is obvious, but I can't watch each one of the 30 kids in my class for each second of each minute of class.

[Orsino]

79. The same reason commuters need SUVs:

"Safety."

All it takes is a single child who can't call 911 in a dangerous situation to generate a justifiable need. Yes, most teens with cell phones are wasting time and money--but there are reasons to have phones.

[Javaman]

97. The same reason, SUV's need tvs and dvd players...

we could go on and on all day. LOL

[proud2BlibKansan]

135. But she doesn't need it at school

I would guess they have phones at school and they are capable of dialing 911 too.

[Orsino]

138. Well, again...

...all it would take is for a single child to be found dead in a closet at school without a cell phone. There have been too many shootings for us to dismiss this possibility completely.

Invention is the mother of necessity. The cell phones that didn't exist in my school days are capable of saving lives in some very rare situations. I won't say that this argument trumps all others, but it will in some eyes.

[proud2BlibKansan]

150. Sorry I don't follow

Why would the child be in a closet?

[Orsino]

152. I was just thinking of anywhere...

...that an incommunicado child might flee during an attack. Not that no one else in the building could possibly dial 911, of course, but "if only he'd had a cell phone" is a sad epitaph indeed.

[proud2BlibKansan]

159. We have a safety plan in place at my school

I would imagine most schools do. And if we ever did have an emergency I would have heart failure if every single one of my kids was NOT where I could see them and be able to protect them. I can't imagine a scenario where a kid would be in a closet. Actually I keep my closet door locked anyway as I believe most teachers do.

[Orsino]

160. I wouldn't want you to fixate on a closet.

Schools have many out-of-the-way places, closets or otherwise, where panicked kids would hide. The only relevant point here is that emergency plans are never executed perfectly, and children aren't always where a single assigned staff member can instantly account for them all. In a school-shooting scenario, some could find themselves isolated. These are the rare situations in which a cell phone would be a valuable emergency device.

[proud2BlibKansan]

185. And I have to disagree

Kids don't just run willy nilly around school unsupervised. I always know where my kids are. Most of them are never out of my sight while I am on duty. And when I am not, they are with another teacher or in a group situation like at lunch where they are supervised.

Our safety plan mandates that every teacher has every kid under his/her direct supervision. We practice this. We have more safety drills than fire drills. And in my district, if a kid is not accounted for in an actual emergency, the responsible teacher will be disciplined and likely suspended. Yes, that is in the district's official safety plan. They made such a big deal out of it we had to sign a statement that we understood what our responsibilities are and that we knew the consequences of not following the plan.

So no I can't really imagine a scenario where a kid finds himself or herself isolated in an emergency.

[Orsino]

194. Those are fine ideals...

...and I don't doubt that they are usually in force. Kids simply aren't always under the direct supervision of teachers, however, especially between classes and right before and after school. Unfortunately, even the direct supervision of a teacher isn't proof against armed intruders. Teachers generally do their best, understanding their legal and moral responsibilities, but they aren't bodyguards.

I can't muster much enthusiasm for kids juggling cell phones in school--I know they would mostly be distractions--but I can't pretend that they would have no utility.

[proud2BlibKansan]

195. Once again

Yes they ARE under direct supervision of teachers every minute at my school. And that is how it works in most schools. I am sure there are a few rare exceptions. But at GOOD schools, kids are never left unsupervised. NEVER. At my school teachers meet them at the bus and there are teachers waiting at the door and in the building as they enter. They can choose to go to breakfast and there are teachers in the hallways and in the cafeteria as they eat. If they don't want breakfast, they go to the gym where they are supervised by teachers as they wait for class to start. At that time they are picked up by their teachers and walked to class. This is how it is all day long. To assume kids are left unsupervised is wrong. At good schools, this is one of the things that makes it a good school. Teachers are ON DUTY and supervise kids all day long.

Of course we can't protect them against armed intruders. But we can and do make sure they are never unsupervised. A scenario of a kid alone in a school while a mad gunman is roaming the hallways is just wrong.

[Orsino]

208. Supervised does not equal safe.

My point is that whatever supervision is in place, it may not suffice in all emergency situations. When the shooting starts, orderly evacuation may not be possible for everyone. "Come along, children" won't always work.

The security you've described is good, and possibly ideal given your resources in what sounds like an elementary school. It can't be perfect, though, and won't apply to all schools. I understand that you think cell phones in school are a bad idea, for obvious reasons with which I'm sure I would agree. I'm only pointing out that it is possible--if unlikely--for a given student to be alone in an emergency, especially in a high school where children aren't moved as a unit. The very assumption that such a thing can't happen is itself a security flaw, in my reckoning.

The unfortunate consequence is that the valid (and rare) emergency use of cell phones is lost when we ban them outright for the purpose of order. It is a trade-off that should be acknowledged by parents and administrators.

[liberalhistorian]

202. Really? My goodness, however did we all survive

adolescence and high school without cell phones? Imagine that miracle.

[PeaceNikki]

11. Thankfully not every 13 y/o is this freaking stupid.

My son had a cell much younger and was taught how/when to use it responsibly.

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. Took one from a kid in class just last week

She is 13. Claimed her mom would be mad and I had no right to take her cell phone. I said if it rings in my class, I will (and did) take it.

Checked last night. It is still in the office. I guess her mom was so mad she forgot to come to school to pick it up. LOL

[Sequoia]

95. Hey, dude that was me, I had to work late.

This sure sounds familar! My kid's school don't allow it in class and that's the right thing to do.

[WolverineDG]

54. My cousin's kids had cell phones

but no texting & they were pay-go phones, to be used only in emergencies. Oh those poor abused kiddies whose mommy was too cheap (read: poor) to give them real cell phones with texting.

dg

[lumberjack_jeff]

124. Because AT&T and Verizon depend on it. n/t

[NeedleCast]

134. Saftey

I think its not a bad idea.

[proud2BlibKansan]

137. At school?

She was texting from school.

[NeedleCast]

140. Anywhere Really

I mean, yeah, she shouldn't be texting in class but I know plenty of parents who give their teen and younger kids cell phones in case they have an emergency situation. I know that when I was in high school that lots of people involved with extra-circular activities had pagers or phones for getting in touch with parents when they needed a ride or whatever, and because it was often mixed class groups, there were lots of seniors and juniors with cars taking sophomores and freshman home, or to lunch...whaterver. Lots of parents though it was a good idea for their kids to have a fast way to reach them, or for them to reach their kids.

My folks gave me a cell when I was a junior in High School because in addition to football, baseball and band, I had a pizza delivery job and if something went wrong (like crashing my car - which I did pretty regularly as a teen - or practice running late, going out with friends, whatever), they wanted me to be able to get ahold of them.

[proud2BlibKansan]

151. You are talking about after school

I fail to see why any kid needs a cell phone in class.

[liberalhistorian]

201. That's a damn good question.

My son is almost eighteen and has never had a cell phone and it was made clear to him that he would not have a cell phone while he was still in high school (he'll graduate next year). There's absolutely no need for him to have one while he's still a minor and in high school and, if he wants one after that, he can get one in his name and pay for it all himself. Period. Just like he'll have to do if he wants a car.

And, at the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy curmudgeon at 44, I have to ask just what in the HELL is the big fucking deal about texting? What the FUCK is wrong with actually talking to people, which is what cell phones were originally for. I've seen people texting people sitting right next to them or only in the next room and it makes no fucking sense. I just don't get the obsession with it, I really don't. And, frankly, it's doing a real number on proper language and writing and grammar.

[Blue_Tires]

77. a lot of kids don't know the meaning of money

and always have the "if I go over, mom+dad will just pay it" -mentality...

and it's not just with cell phones, even though that is the most extreme modern example...Rember back in the 90s when a lot of ISPs charged you per hour spent online? Like the first 20 hours free for a month and X amount for each hour above that? There were plenty of stories of $1,000 internet bills back then...

[uncle ray]

116. nothing like teaching a teen that a dollars value is based on nothing.

when their friend has unlimited texting for ten bucks a month, and they(or their parents) are stuck paying half a buck every text, they are not too likely to understand the value of a dollar very well.

[Vinca]

4. Good for dad.

:applause:

[Common Sense Party]

142. Yes. Three cheers for parents who won't be walked over by their teens.

[michreject]

5. I saw her on TV

She was laughing and such like it was no big deal.

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. I saw that too

Made me wonder once again why a 13 year old needs a cell phone.

[KittyWampus]

27. makes me wonder why the father didn't make that kid work around the house to pay off that bill

cleaning, gardening, painting.

My father would.

And I wouldn't have been allowed to do anything, either.

But then, we had one rotary phone that hung on the wall when I grew up.

[Javaman]

102. My first thought as well...

Hell, if I did that, my dad would have gotten an injunction to make me his personal servant.

[TorchTheWitch]

161. That's what my folks would have done

Many a time I had to work off paying for something extravagant that I didn't need but just wanted. Of course, back then the only extravagent thing I wanted was only $60. Taught me the value of money.

I grew up just fine with one rotary phone in the house (no call waiting or any other bells and whistles).

[liberalhistorian]

204. I knew I was getting OLD when my son asked

what a rotary phone looked like and what it was like to have one!!!

[havocmom]

32. If they NEED one, they darn well need to learn the cost. Make them buy it themselves and pay bill

:shrug:

[jbnow]

33. Many parents would want kids to have cell phones, just for contact if

there is trouble or a change in plans and so on. Phone booths are hard to find and aren't a dime or quarter or two anymore. That's a big loss unless you have a cell. It's not often the child would "need" it but parents would want their child to always be able to make contact if they needed to. Responsibility goes with it

This kid was crazily irresponsible (which is probably why the parents thought they disabled the text) especially for a child that old
Hope they have to work off that bill though that would be a lot of work.

[proud2BlibKansan]

37. But she doesn't need it at school

They do have phones in schools.

[DevonRex]

84. My kids often went straight from school to soccer or lacrosse practice

with somebody else's mom doing the driving and then somebody else's mom driving them home. That's the point where you want your kid to have a phone. What if the second mom didn't show up to pick them up? What if my son got hurt on the practice field? What if they were in an accident on the way home?

Now, if that girl was just going to school and back with her own parent doing the driving, she obviously doesn't need a cell phone with her. And if she were my kid, she'd be grounded all summer, too.

We did disable texting on our kids' phones. We're all on a family plan and we still don't have texting, and they're in their 20s. They pay their share and both have decided that texting is a waste of money.

[Javaman]

103. then put it in her locker.

and use it at the end of school.

or and I know this is a radical idea...

schools still have pay phones.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

120. After Columbine, many school allowed the carrying but not the use of cell phones

[DevonRex]

136. Yep. A pay phone doesn't help when there's a gunman in the hall.

[Common Sense Party]

143. I'm not sure how a cell phone is going to protect a teenager from a gunman.

You mean to call police? The teachers all have cell phones. They'll be calling, I assure you. Better that 911 only gets clogged with 30 teachers calling, as opposed to 800 students.

[DevonRex]

167. nevermind

You don't need to know that.

[Common Sense Party]

183. So, how CAN a cell phone defend against a gunman? n/t

[ProgressiveProfessor]

198. Allows the user to remain concealed and still call 911

[Common Sense Party]

206. Which is no defense. A cell phone cannot stop a bullet.

As I said a couple posts up, 800 kids calling 911 at the same time isn't going to bring the cops there any faster. Every teacher has a cell phone, and they will already have called.

So the rationale of "My kid needs a cell phone in case a Columbine tragedy occurs" is specious.

[L0oniX]

46. Gee what did people do before they had cell phones ...how did they survive?

:crazy:

[PeaceNikki]

63. Or seatbelts? Or lead paint warnings? Or bicycle helmets?

[TwilightGardener]

67. Um...no. Not the same, but thanks for playing.

[PeaceNikki]

68. Heh. ok.

Your premise that the "new-fangled" inventions that can be used for safety/peace-of-mind are unnecessary is false.

[Javaman]

107. fail. My bike helmet saved my skull and the possibility of long term effects of brain damage.

cut off into a parked car by drunk driver. Helmet worked as designed, shattered on impact, displacing force over a larger area. My noggin was protected and I lived.

This was before cell phones were so common. A citizen used her home land line to call the EMT.

moral, helmets: 1, cell phones: 0.

[nichomachus]

A lot of people died and were crippled.

[Javaman]

108. some people just don't get it.

they feel they should be allowed to be flung from their cars in a wreck or have their brains splatted all over the pavement in the name of "freedom". What kind of freedom that is, I have still yet to have defined.

[dsc]

98. In fairness payphones are increasingly difficult to find

I am fixing to get a cell phone soon for that very reason. I still think we have gone bonkers with the cell phone culture but we are rapidly approaching a world without public phones.

[grace0418]

101. Well, I remember coming home from sixth grade camp and my parents forgot I was

coming home that day. The school was locked up so I couldn't get in to make a phone call. I sat in the parking lot with all my gear for hours because it was too heavy to carry and I was afraid it would get stolen. Finally a friend of my parents happen to drive by the school and see me there. A lot of really horrible things could happen to a 12 yo waiting by herself for hours.

[Javaman]

109. Been there done that.

and granted in this case a cell phone would be justified, but not in school, during class, while a teacher is teaching.

[grace0418]

119. Oh, I totally agree. People using cell phones inappropriately is a huge pet peeve

of mine. Kids and adults (and of course, kids learn the behavior from their parents).

Yesterday I was walking into a Lowe's and saw a woman who was having a store employee carry something out to her car for her. From the look on the guy's face, the item looked quite heavy. She was yapping on her cell phone the whole time, cleaning out the back of her station wagon with one hand, stopping every few seconds to make a point in her conversation. How rude to waste the man's time and energy when he's doing you a service. Not to mention how rude it is to treat a service professional like they aren't deserving of one ounce of your attention. I caught the guy's eye and said "how rude". He smiled and nodded, she missed the whole exchange of course.

[proud2BlibKansan]

187. What adults were there?

That's horrible! Surely there were adults with you? But they left you there ALONE waiting for your parents to show up?

Today that would get a teacher suspended.

[tabbycat31]

115. payphones existed

[Deja Q]

126. Is she in "special education"?

I say her allowance should be garnished.

Betcha it'll become a real big deal by then.

[Common Sense Party]

144. What kind of obnoxious wisecrack is that?

What do you mean, Is she in "special education"?

[seabeyond]

128. what i saw, she was embarrassed. and learned her lesson and well. i dont think

she was disrespectful or one of those "out of control" kids your post implied.

there was nothing wrong in her posturing

no quibble with the parents eitehr, or their action or what they had to say

[liberalhistorian]

203. Hopefully her parents will make her work it off at home to

pay them back so that she WILL realize that it really is a big deal. If her parents are smart, that's what they'd do. Otherwise, they're just spoiling and enabling her.

[KharmaTrain]

9. Texting...The 21st Century Distraction

My son, who is in college, brought this up to me a while ago. While he has a cellphone and will text notes back and forth...letting us know if he'll be late for a class or to send notes to his friends, he was complaining about how many spend time in class not taking notes or participating in class but texting their little fingers away. He thinks its rude to not just the teachers (many who've gotten frustrated from trying to curtail the practice during class) but to the students as well as it's made some people into what he calls "text zombies"...constantly looking for their next "twit" or message and totally disconnected from what's going on around them.

[a la izquierda]

12. Why isn't your son in my class???

I'm still a grad student, but when I teach, if a cell goes off during my class I about lose my mind. It is so distracting to professors trying to lecture, other students trying to learn...you get the point.
And then there's the facebooking in class. Ugh.

[Javaman]

112. My buddy is a prof at UofO. He makes a very simple statement at the

Beginning of each semester. "if you use your phone during class you are out, if you text, you are out, if it rings you are out." by out he means dropped from the class. He has met with some truly epically spoiled brats who tried to argue with him about this and every time, they lose and he wins. His is a post grad class, so anyone in there, needs his class to earn their degree.

[Silent3]

193. I agree with the basic sentiment, but not with the zero-tolerance, one-strike...

...thing about a phone simply ringing. Calling or texting is a deliberate action, but ringing just happens, and it's very easy to forget to turn off your phone's ringer just once. One ring one time and you're out is pretty damned unreasonable, and I don't think you have to be a "spoiled brat" to think that.

[proud2BlibKansan]

196. It's a post grad class

A one strike rule is not unusual or unexpected at the graduate level.

When I was in graduate school, we were expected to have 100% perfect attendance. If you missed even one class, you failed. One year I had parent teacher conferences on a night I had a class. I had to get a note from my principal and have my absence approved by the dean of the grad school. And that dean called my principal to make sure I hadn't forged that note.

Now if you were talking undergrad, maybe this one strike rule would be unreasonable. But not at the graduate level.

[Silent3]

199. Even post grad that seems unreasonable to me.

It's one thing to expect responsible behavior, it's another to impose essentially arbitrary levels of perfection that aren't really a good gauge of true responsibility. Forgetting to turn the ringer off on a cell phone one single time is too small a mistake to magnify to that level of importance. With some classes that could cost somebody a whole lot of tuition money and throw off someone's graduation schedule a whole semester or even a whole year. Normal human beings make mistakes of that small magnitude all of the time, and its more a matter of random chance than a measure of personal responsibility if you commit one of those commonplace errors at the wrong time.

I'm not sure if you simply stating, "well, that's the way it is" or if you're voicing admiration for this kind of low tolerance. I think that what we're talking about here crosses the line from the kind of demanding standards that can help create good results into the realm of tinpot dictator.

Just because people will likely have to cope with tinpot dictators later in life doesn't make emulating one a "good lesson" to teach.

[proud2BlibKansan]

207. Grad school is a whole different world

No I don't admire it. But it would fall under the category of things I have no control over.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. I am an adult

and I can't stand it when I go to meetings and they make the 'turn off your cellphones' statement. Like adults need to be reminded to be polite and pay attention?

I keep my phone on vibrate almost all the time. I rarely ask someone else to hold while I take another call. And if I am in the middle of a conversation with someone, I don't answer my phone. Seems like the polite thing to do.

[KharmaTrain]

25. My Cellphone Is Rarely Used...

Most times when I go out with my wife, I don't even bother bringing mine. I rarely use my monthly minutes...I think I've "rolled over" several years by now. If I have to use it while I'm on the road (which, unfortunately I had to during sub zero weather last December), I will pull over into a parking lot or out of traffic, and then keep it short. I find the thing a necessary evil...but then I'm not much of a phone chatter anymore. I appreciate and value my privacy. There are few things in this world that need me to disconnect from the world around me and get sucked into the cellphone culture.

Last week I got a survey call from one of the phone companies. The questioner asked me about all sorts of different phones and systems and I musta sounded like a brick...either not interested or had little knowledge about all these multi-million dollar services and ad campaigns. But I also know I'm in an ever-increasing minority.

[Telly Savalas]

28. You might want to look into the feasibility of a prepaid cell phone.

They cost a fortune on a per minute basis, but if you use them very infrequently it's cheaper than being on a plan. I'd estimate that my wife and I average about $20 a month for our two phones combined. Just be sure to read all the fine print on the fee schedules, because rates vary pretty wildly between providers.

[KharmaTrain]

29. I'm On A Family Plan...

The minutes I don't use, my wife or mother-in-law or kids will. I lived many years without having the need for a phone...and would be content not to have the thing at all. Seemed I was able to survive quite fine. It's a nice toy. I'm glad I am fortunate to afford it. I think all 3 of us pay about $50 a month. Peace of mind for my wife...and thus peace of mind for me.

[proud2BlibKansan]

45. My kid's phone only costs me $10 a month

We did the prepaid phones. They were lots more expensive than that.

[Telly Savalas]

181. Yeah, I think when my kid gets old enough for a phone

then it might be more economical to get a family plan.

The prepaids are only cheaper if they're rarely used.

[dysfunctional press]

157. i have a cingular prepaid 'go phone'...at 25cents/minute, i used about $85 last year.

my balance is currently $170, because i had to add $100 to roll the balance over for another year, or lose the money that was left on it from last year's buy...plus i added $25 when i bought a new phone, and they 'gifted' me $10 worth a couple of times. i've never sent a text...:shrug: i've never had a reason to.

[JerseygirlCT]

41. I swear whenever any phone rings.

I don't like gabbing on a phone. Like you, it always feels like an interruption. And like you, the cell is there for its utility, not for entertainment.

[madmom]

47. I am in the same position, I use a prepaid Tracfone. The phone cost me

$20, phone cards vary in cost, but I get 60 minute card every 3 months for $20. I currently have over 500 minutes on my phone. I can text, I can call anywhere. Texting takes 1/2 unit, out of area calls use 2 units.It is small enough that I can stick it in my jeans pocket without discomfort. It works great for me because I am also not one for having to be on the phone 24/7. Sounds like you might want to check out something similar. Could save you some money! :7

[JerseygirlCT]

40. You'd be amazed at how many adults are rude with their phones

I keep mine on at work - for one reason: I'm a mom, and if there's an emergency my kids or their schools need to reach me anywhere. Other than that, my phone doesn't get used.

But even in my small office there is one person who seems to think it enhances his status to interrupt our meetings with phone calls.

When we have board meetings, he inevitably wanders in late (so people think he was off doing more important things) then has his phone ring several times during the meeting. Such an ass!

[proud2BlibKansan]

42. Oh I see it all the time

Amy Goodman was here on Sunday. $75 ticket to get in. And several cell phones rang while she was speaking. Blew my mind.

[JerseygirlCT]

43. It's a shame that every theater performance I attend must now begin

with a request for people to turn off their phones. How incredibly rude! Not only to interrupt their own experience, but everyone else's, too!

[Blue Diadem]

62. When I was in the hospital last week, my room mate used her cell constantly.

She kept hospital staff waiting at the foot of her bed while she talked. My dh and I couldn't believe it. The darn ring tone of thing drove me nuts.

[JHB]

56. Unfortunately, there ARE a lot of adults that need to be so reminded...

...and another segment (larger, I hope) that will be polite and pay attention, but won't think ahead to silence the phone until it goes off at the wrong time.

[Blue_Tires]

71. believe it or not, even a lot of adults forget or don't care

In all my jobs, there has been at least one instance where the boss (or someone way higher than the boss) had his phone ring in a meeting...cell phone etiquette died years ago

[JerseygirlCT]

38. Not to mention that since I'm paying tuition, I'd be hugely PISSED

if my child were wasting that very expensive teaching time playing with a phone!

Mine texts his friends now too - mostly because his pay as you go plan has unlimited texting - cheaper to do that. But not in class - for all the reasons you outlined. He's there to do a job - learn - not to play with his phone.

[krabigirl]

209. Eh, its not a big deal. In my day, kids would talk instead.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

10. Two things that dad should do

First is make the kid get a job (even if it is new chores at home) to pay back every dime of that bill. Second is to deny her any form of cell phone at all until the bill is paid off, and THEN make her pay her share of the bill.

This is not unreasonable. It shows her the consequences of her actions and makes her responsible.

When I was 8, I lost a library book. Mom made me pay back every dime the book cost by doing extra chores around the house. I was extra careful with library books after that.

[havocmom]

39. absolutely! Parent's have to teach responsibility or kids are doomed

What we have is a bunch of very big, legally adult, infants who simply do not understand reality. They are naive and at risk because of it.

Husband watched a (college graduate) too naive, young woman with a text addiction, texting at work while HER BOSS was trying to speak with her! Shit, what an airhead! One would have hoped that somewhere along the many years to legal age, someone would have made this young lady accept enough responsibility that she would consider paying attention to her employer instead of her obvious text addiction, for a few minutes!

Parents need to pay attention and PARENT. Kids need to get parental attention along with lessons in life. Seems not much of that is happening.

LOL You and I had similar library book experiences. Our mothers were smart cookies. People will not change behavior unless they are made uncomfortable for bad behavior. Such an easy lesson to teach, done early and over smaller matters. Failure to teach that responsibility thing amounts to neglect of children, not kindness. Failure to teach that lesson means the kid will have much bigger problems to face and be completely confused by repercussions. Sets up for a lifetime of confusion, disappointment. People who grow up clueless that actions have repercussions too often are un-loveable and they get very hurt or angry because they simply do not grasp that they have to behave well with others and BE RESPONSIBLE.

[slackmaster]

73. Yes, you have it right

Make her feel the consequences.

[lumberjack_jeff]

130. It's all about the math.

How much is it worth to do the dishes? 50 cents?

At $10, it will take her a year and a half of dishwashing to repay her debt.

She bought a car on her dad's credit card. A good car. She spent the next year's grocery budget. She spent 20% of her college fund.

I blame Verizon. Their "no texting" cellphone plans are a huge profit center. They get to charge thousands for a service that the subscriber thought was disabled. It only costs them $0.50 in electrons and $20 in offshore call center cost.

[roguevalley]

154. I agree. this is beyond the pale. kids need to know the value of

money. that should be the biggest object lesson of this whole financial fiasco we are all in now.

[Lorien]

200. Agreed. But it sounds like cell phones need to be banned from the classroom

too. Let the kids keep them in their lockers to use before and after school or during lunch period, but at no other time.There's no reason for them to have that kind of a distraction during class!

[NashVegas]

13. That's What I Call A Good Parent

Actually, he might be an ass as a parent in every other way, but at least he did that one thing right.

[PeaceNikki]

18. No, he was an idiot for not teaching her responsibility BEFORE he handed her the phone.

[NashVegas]

24. Disagree. A Lot Of Times, Kids Don't Listen

And logic doesn't work. Sometimes you have to show them how upset you are. An inanimate object like a cell-phone the kid just used to give you $4k debt is a pretty good target, as long as it's not part of a pattern of abusive behavior.

[PeaceNikki]

26. So... if you have a kid who tends not to listen - you either monitor usage or

you don't give them a cell phone that exposes you to this kind of thing.

[NashVegas]

44. Well That's Your Solution

Dandy if you want to raise a control freak or a helicopter kid.

[havocmom]

57. It was the way I raised my daughter and she is EXTREMELY creative, competent and caring

Kids raised without clear boundaries (and yes, parents have to adjust those as the kid grows and BECOMES more and more RESPONSIBLE) kids without those bounds are NOT happy. They are insecure and confused. They KNOW something is missing and they are clueless, so they often put up a front that they are in charge. Sadly, they are not in charge and they don't know how to respond to the slightest disappointments or obstacles.

It is kids' job to learn, grow, and push the boundaries. It is parents' job to teach, guide, and maintain appropriate (and that means steady, but expanding as the kid grows RESPONSIBLE and competent) boundaries.

A child is a wild animal. Parents need to socialize that child so it will become a functioning, CREATIVE, capable member of the society.

Even a dog will nip a pup's ear when the pup doesn't live up to its social obligations.

Leaving children feral, and that is basically what is happening when parents don't parent, is not a kindness. There is a lot of ground between neglecting to teach and guide and being an abusive control freak raising little helicopter kids.
:eyes:

[NashVegas]

58. Really? Your Daughter Had a Cell Phone w/Text?

You are ahead of your time. What can I say?

I don't disagree much with what you're saying there, but the PeaceNikky wants to go from one extreme to the other. Either full supervision, or nothing. Kids have to be allowed to screw up every now and then, but you still have to come down on them when you've already laid down a law and they ignore it to the extent you've got a 4 fucking thousand dollar phone bill.

[havocmom]

60. She is also 36 years old and hold down a very good job, is active in politics

and a board member on a group dedicated to ethnic learning and social enrichment.

Oh, and she reads like crazy and is an artist.
She has thanked me, many times, for the way she was raised as she sees so many lost people out there who cannot function, are not happy, and are totally clueless how to deal with real life. But by, god, they did have parents who let them do anything without repercussions.

Next smart assed assumption?

[NashVegas]

70. Talk About Assumptions?

Hey, no need to develop any of your own personal curiosity to look for details, right?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/studentnews/04/08/transcript.thu/

You see, the family's teenage daughter, the one we mentioned at the beginning of today's show, discovered that you can send text messages even if your plan doesn't include them.

This isn't the parents' fault, this is Verizon's. But it's the kid in the story who found out she could still text, and never said a word to her folks.

I'll restate what I did before: he may not be a perfect father, but in this case, he did the right thing for him. It's not what I would have done, but he made his point.

Please take your superiority elsewhere. It smells.

[havocmom]

82. LOL

you assumed I should be the boss of my daughter.

At this point, that job is done and I can take time to be the friend of a decent adult.

Father of kid in OP should have had the reins well in hand a LONG time before he got a bill for over four grand. There should never have been a need to stomp the phone because the bill should never have been run up in the first place.

It is not superiority you smell, it is the truth that parenting gets done from day one and done with vigilance. If that smells bad to you, get a fish

[NashVegas]

86. LOL. Thanks For Making My Morning

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[petronius]

127. I suspect it mentions in the plan that texts will be $0.10 each or whatever,

but it will be buried in the description.

That's our ours is - we have Verizon - and I spent a long time looking for an obvious way to disable/block texts. Never figured it out. The phone companies make $$$ on texting, and they have no interest in helping nayone avoid the 'service'...

[PeaceNikki]

64. Again, monitor.

Why the fuck is that so outrageous?

[NashVegas]

72. How Do You Monitor A Teen's Cell Phone Texting

When you aren't aware she was doing it until you got the bill? Which a reasonable person would assume not paying for a service means not receiving a service.

[tammywammy]

74. With AT&T it's updated online every day

You can see how many minutes and texts you have spent.

[NashVegas]

75. Geezus.

There is no point in continuing this conversation. You have obvious problems disconnecting the apron strings, accounting for yourself with the simplest of math tasks, and taking personal responsibility.

[tammywammy]

80. I don't have kids

I had a cell phone when I was in high school, there wasn't text messaging back then. I rarely used even the minutes on it.

I was just letting you know that yes, indeed someone can check their minutes and texts messages used online.


edited to add: When text messaging and internet usage starting coming about years ago, whenever I reupped my plan it was always spelled out the cost of usage of those items, if not covered by your plan.

[anigbrowl]

177. I think he's just freaking out over technology

You don't have to be a 24/7 geek to be aware of things like checking your cell usage or bill online...or to know that there are such things as flat rate services, for that matter. Nobody runs up a >$4000 bill unless they are clueless. And if you're the one paying the bill, it's upt o you to know what sort of service you've signed up for.

However a lot of people cover their lack of a clue about technology by redirecting the discussion to the topic of 'technology is bad...I survived fine without it...yadda yadda'. To these people I say: GTFO the Internet then, because everything was going just fine before they showed up online pissing and moaning about how much they dislike technology.

[PeaceNikki]

178. Well said! Thank you!

:thumbsup:

[PeaceNikki]

78. Verizon, too. All carriers allow you to check usage through web and/or texts.

[PeaceNikki]

76. Not anymore, but until I was comfortable with the way he was using it, I sure as hell did.

Before I gave him the phone (when he was 12), we discussed the rights and responsibilities. I sure as SHIT deactivated services that were ripe for abuse (like downloading ringers/games, etc) and watched his usage BEFORE the bill came so that I wouldn't get hit with a bill like the stupid man in the OP.

Now he's 18 and I don't need to because he's responsible and I have never had a problem with him abusing.

[NashVegas]

81. That's Great

But, again, that was six years ago.

I got my first cell two years ago and, like the people in the OP, was shocked to find that my phone was able to do tasks (usually when I was lending it to someone) that weren't covered by my plan, to hyper-inflated charges.

Was your son able to connect to the internet six years ago, against your calling plan? Send texts? If so, that's a huge-ass piece of exploitation the Telcoms are taking advantage of (and don't think for a minute that's not part of their strategy).

[PeaceNikki]

83. Oh bullshit.

Yes, he could connect to internet and send texts - but guess what... when I handed him the phone, I taught him how to be responsible with it.

And... he was.

[NashVegas]

88. Okay, Great

He could connect to the internet, but was that in your calling plan, or wasn't it?

[PeaceNikki]

90. Nope.

But this is not a thread about my cell plan and my kid. It's a thread about a stupid father who handed his stupid kid a cell phone without properly guiding her and covering his OWN ass.

[NashVegas]

92. Great. You Were a Step Ahead

Of the above parent on a tech level in knowing what your phone could do in spite of your service plan.

Congratulations!

[havocmom]

49. yep. It should be made CLEAR that privileges are EARNED

Wanna get big people PRIVILEGES? Prove you understand the rules and RESPONSIBILITIES. And that lesson does not kick in when kid is 13. It should be a well established pattern that is completely understood well before then.

Waiting until puberty to start parenting is not smart at all. That age is tough enough for most. Parents damned well better have basic ethics taught well before then.

A little time EVERY DAY, paying attention and lovingly correcting, guiding behavior of small and growing children just seems like too much of a bother to too many people. They don't understand that is probably THE MOST important investment they can make in their children's future. Too many parents don't live up to their responsibilities. Too many do not make that easy investment in their kids by paying attention, teaching, guiding. And it can be done so easily AND affectionately. Kid may pout and rail for a bit at times, but after some years, the kid grows to be productive, competent and appreciative; which makes the kid lovable and able to interact better in the world.

Parents do not have to 'break' a kid. They don't have to abuse or be nazi. They DO have to teach and guide, and that includes making kids understand consequences and responsibility. Failure to do so sets kids up for a lifetime of real failure. For illustration, look to george W. bush. Classic example right there.

Kids are little and impressionable for a VERY short time. Seems like a lot of bother to work with them all the time when they are little, young, growing? Hell no. Time goes by so fast. If people don't want to invest some regular effort in that short span, they should get a gold fish and not have kids.

[havocmom]

94. Parents COULD recognize that thousands of generations survived without cell phones

Parents could 'just say no'
:shrug:

[PeaceNikki]

110. And thousands of generations survived without medicine and computers and on and on and on and on and

...

oh, you get the point.

It's a tool. I didn't get my kid a cell phone for his fun and pleasure. I taught him that it's not a TOY. I got it because I am a single mom and I appreciate it as a TOOL with which I can stay in contact with him - and he in touch with me and grandma/grandpa.

Obviously the kid and parent in the OP treated it as some kind of toy.

[havocmom]

113. We agree, it IS a tool

and so are the people who think that everyone needs one.

[PeaceNikki]

117. Hmm.

I don't know why it's sofa king cool on DU to hurl veiled insults, but hey, if it gets you through the day, more power to ya!

FTR, I never said "everyone needs one", I said I think it's an important tool for me.

[havocmom]

145. Never said you did say everyone needed one

Do you internalize everything :shrug:

[PeaceNikki]

155. Nobody in this thread did. You replied to me. Who were you calling a "tool"?

Actually, I don't even give a fuck.

The ridiculousness of this place and the inability of people to discuss ANY topic without being nasty and throwing veiled and direct insults is mind-boggling.

Have a lovely weekend.

[havocmom]

163. Called those who feel all must have the tool tools

Did not call you a tool.

Reading comprehension.

purple

[PeaceNikki]

164. Ah yes, now imply that I have difficultly with reading comprehension.

I see you read "DU rebuttals for Dummies". :thumbsup:

[havocmom]

166. hey, I started posting replies to you because I was trying to demonstrate discussion

over personal attacks. Seems pointless. And I also conduct experiments with posters who rely on the pesronal attack.

purple.

[EstimatedProphet]

169. When kids don't listen, you do things to make them listen

That argument doesn't hold water. It's too similar to the argument from the 90's that led to Congress trying to monitor the internet for pornography: the kids know the internet better, so there's no point in trying to monitor them; instead, just police the entire thing. It's lazy by nature. The fact is, the parent shirked responsibility by not paying attention to what the kid was doing in the first place. Parents have to be more involved than that. Take the phone away at the first sign of abuse. $4K is far from the first sign.

[ourbluenation]

89. so judgemental. n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

133. I have three kids.

One of the three cannot, literally cannot, exercise good judgment.

... and it's not the one with the disability.

If I gave him a phone and told him what constitutes "misuse" and the ramifications, he'd misuse it anyway. In fact, defining the various forms of misuse would be appreciated because some of them might have not occurred to him. My only recourse is to constrain his environment. His cellphone is prepaid. I put $10 on it when I know I'll need to communicate with him. If I'm lucky, later that day there'll still be some funds on it when I need to contact him.

Some kids are simply born with an excess of stupid. You do the best you can to prevent everyone from suffering from it.

[Reader Rabbit]

15. I wish I could do that to my students' phones.

If they aren't ringing in the middle of class, someone is attempting to text under his or her desk. Teachers can confiscate them, but the parents will usually throw a fit.

[proud2BlibKansan]

22. Let them throw a fit

Good grief. Who is in charge in your classroom? You or the parents?

I am so glad I don't teach older kids. LOL

[Reader Rabbit]

65. I usually hand the phone off to one of the assistant principals.

Let them deal with the fit. That's why they get the big money!

[TexasObserver]

16. For parents, it's the Feel Good story of the day!!

I am so glad my kids were in college before the cell phone texting thing hit the scene. They're all grown and pay their own bills, so they all know how to be smart about it. But if they had been able to have cell phones in middle school, I don't even want to think about it.

[Historic NY]

19. No wonder she was getting "F's" who had time to learn.

[BlooInBloo]

20. Holy Issue Escalation, Batman!

:rofl:

[Kaleva]

21. Good move on the Dad's part.

Now they ought to come up with a plan for her to pay back towards that phone bill.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

23. I blocked texting from my sons' phones after I received a bill that was about $80

over my normal bill. No big deal to them. Most of the texts were received, not sent.

[DevonRex]

91. We never had texting because of stories like yours. Other parents

had told us about their nightmare bills. And even then we checked our bills at least weekly just to make sure the kids were sticking to the rules. Sometimes they weren't and they had to pay the difference.

[ecstatic]

30. Easy to rack up thousands of texts while using the IM services

which now seem to come on every phone. Better to get the unlimited text plans when kids are involved. LOL

[northzax]

35. yeah, it's not like unlimited is that expensive

99 bucks a month at Sprint, for instance for unlimited everything (text, voice, data) I pay a bit more than that for my iPhone, but not that much.

and I still enjoy reading the threads about how mobiles piss people off so much. sheesh folks, it's a thing, don't get all worked up.

as for the teachers, at any level, who are losing students to texting, fbing, etc (yes, fine, you too, twitter) there have always been bored students in class, at least now they aren't bugging others to entertain themselves. if you can't keep their attention, better to not have them be annoying others, right?

[tammywammy]

48. I moved to my dad's family plan a few weeks ago

I told him I don't use hardly any minutes, but have to have the unlimited texting. So, instead of by myself paying $70/month, I'm on his plan for $30. :)

[NashVegas]

50. $1200 a Year Is a Lot of Money For An Unnecessary Service

Most people don't need cell phones.

Doctors need cell phones. Some lawyers. Firefighters. For everyone else, they come in handy for a medical or police emergency. In all other cases, the world will keep turning.

[tammywammy]

51. A lot of people, myself included, don't have landlines at home n/t

[NashVegas]

55. That's The Choice You Make

Other people don't want to spend $1200 a year for services they don't need when $360 will do just fine for what they do need.

Other people aren't don't have their habits financially subsidized by Daddy.

[tabbycat31]

170. I only have a cellphone

and I have the "Sprint Basic" plan with 200 anytime minutes and 300 texts. It comes to a little more than $40/month. My parents pay more than that for their landline.

[nichomachus]

87. Only doctors, lawyers and firefighters? Get real.

I need a cell phone because I'm a free lance worker. Very often, I get assignments at random times that need to be done quickly. I can either sit home all day waiting for the phone to ring -- or I can have a life and actually do other things and respond to my clients when necessary.

My partner manages a small store. He can either be there seven days a week 14 hours a day, or he can have his cell phone with him to respond when there is a problem, which is at least twice a day during hours when he's not there, sometimes more.

Also, in case you haven't noticed, there is a dearth of pay phones around. Try to find one. It used to be there was one every five feet. No more.

[NashVegas]

93. The World Still Turns

For people who don't engage in rapid-fire communications, and really, my experience when it comes to last minute business jobs is they tend to come from people who don't have their shit together in the first place.

[grace0418]

106. Then you don't know the world of a freelancer very well. Many of my jobs come

at the last minute and I get paid because I can get them done. Shit together or not, things happen and assignments come up fast. I could wait for only assignments that had tons of lead time but I wouldn't be paying my mortgage. Maybe the world keeps turning but my personal world would be in the crapper.

[dustbunnie]

197. I'm freelance too now and need my cell more than ever. Similar situation.

It's a business expense at this point, so that's a plus. But yeah, if I want to take advantage of impromptu work, or answer silly questions about a job without being stuck at home all day, having a celly is indispensable. My partner travels a lot, so we get to keep in touch a lot easier than if he had to find the odd moment to get back to the hotel, or I sat around waiting at home. We can know instantly if a flight is delayed, or just say I love you, whenever. :)

Just in general, as far as the texting thing goes, some kids are just not that responsible. Or don't envision the inevitable punishment when they're doing something wrong. I'm sure this kid knew she was going to be in big trouble. The kid of a couple we know, spent close to a $1000 on one of those 1-800- phonesex lines... and figured he'd never get caught. :eyes:

[Lisa0825]

114. A lot of average people people need cell phones for various reasons.

When I first got my cell phone, it was because my mom lived alone and was starting to have more health problems. I wanted her to be able to reach me anywhere, at any time. Since then, I found that I feel much more comfortable driving with a cell phone. Having a mechanical problem with no easy way to call for help is scary. There are plenty of reasons that having a cell phone can be a better choice than having a landline. I think landlines are pretty useless myself. I see no need for a landline when you can have a cell that will fill that purpose and so much more.

BTW, I pay $49.95 a month, and never run out of minutes. It includes up to 500 txt messages, which is plenty for me.

[northzax]

118. why do doctors, lawyers and firefighters need them?

seems those professions survived just fine without them, you don't want a cell phone, that's fine, I don't want a landline. I must admit, it's kind of funny to hear people complaining about instant communication on the interwebs. and just for fun, I just scrolled through the last fifty calls I made or received. with the exception of a couple of businesses, every single one was to or from a mobile number or internet-accessed number (vonage for people overseas) that includes my mom, dad, sister, two cousins, girlfriend, boss, and a bunch of friends and colleagues. oh, and my grandmother, who prefers the mobile because it is more portable and she doesn't move so well anymore. I barely know people with landlines anymore, frankly. and why ever lose a phone number? I've had the same number for ten years in six apartments (I am only kind of sad I gave up my 310 number when I left LA, but it wasn't feasible to keep it back then) I live in DC. my girlfriend has a number from North Carolina, my friends have numbers from Ohio, California, Texas, Oklahoma, New York and New Jersey, as well as 202s (that's the last fifty numbers alone) my sister lives in London, but has a Boston number. My Aunt lives in Singapore but has a New York number. people are mobile, why shouldn't their communications be as well? you don't change emails every time you move, right?

[Selatius]

156. Who defines "unnecessary"? That's the problem.

For you, it may seem unnecessary, but others decide for themselves what they want to spend their money on.

[anigbrowl]

174. Right...I'll be sure to send a memo to myself about that.

I use mine all the time for work, which is not limited to a single location. When I travel, I have better things to do than ask people if I can use their phone or go in search of a working payphone.

[riderinthestorm]

182. Heh. You make the case for cells in your post.

"For everyone else, they come in handy for a medical or police emergency"

My husband and I own and operate a dressage and combined training horse facility. 40 people on any given day jumping, galloping, riding their horses on 180 acres of land. We're not doctors, lawyers, or firefighters. Just horse trainers on a small farm.

BUT when there's been a medical emergency (when someone falls off and lands on their head and is talking nonsense), it's been worth every dime.

We got one for my 10 year old too. Her dad (my husband) was diagnosed with Stage IV, Grade IV lymphoma. Enrolled in a study at the University of Chicago, there were some days that the treatment/exam time exceeded her school day. She knew to always check her text messages for any schedule deviations like "Grandma's coming to pick you up today. Don't take the bus!" since the school secretary was (understandably) less than... cooperative about passing along last minute changes for any of the 500+ kids she was trying to get out the door at the end of any day.

How dare you judge anyone's cell usage? You don't know us. You don't know our individual use. You don't know anyone's history and/or need for them.

It pisses me off to get judged.

Granted the dad in this should have checked his daughter's usage online. Should have been more pro-active about his policy. Should have been better about instructing her about dollars and use. And the girl abused the phone in the worst way. This is example #1 of bad parent/bad kid/bad cell shit.

But... I would never dare to question his decision to get her a phone in the first place!

[Raineyb]

158. Obviously if he wanted texting he wouldn't have tried to disable it in the first place

Unlimited texting plans is an option only if you want the service in the first place.

Regrds

[proud2BlibKansan]

188. So kids text in class because the teacher is boring?

You need to come and do my job for a day. Half a day. See all those bored kids for yourself. LOL

[northzax]

192. at the collegiate level?

yeah. pretty much.

[havocmom]

31. Nice he finally noticed something was wrong.

I hear of parents calling schools to rant because kids come home and complain about new NO CELL PHONE policies. Guess some parents don't parent until the bill arrives. Too bad that is what it takes to get some to pay attention to what their kids are doing.

We were just discussion this texting addiction phenomena and decided it is the babysitter of older kids and young adults that too many parents use like the TV when the kids were little. Heaven forbid parents pay attention and insist on interacting with the kids so the kids will grow up able to communicate face to face, and oh, maybe PAY ATTENTION to what they are supposed to be doing.

We were wondering about the rash of very serious car crashes in our rural area, where kids are texting all the time. Perhaps there need to be some DWT laws enacted?

[LisaL]

34. Well good for him.

Sounds like his kid should have never gotten a cell phone in a first place.

[JerseygirlCT]

36. No more phone for her, for sure

Texting while in class? No way. That's partly why my son didn't get a phone until well into HS - and then was under orders not to abuse it - it was for MY convenience, not his. Call me when you need a ride, always answer so I can check in with you if needed. He learned well, and didn't abuse it.

Too many younger kids have these now, and don't know how to (not) use them. They have no place in class.

[WolverineDG]

52. Good thing he doesn't live in Quebec

He would be accused of being abusive or some stupid thing like that.

dg

[northzax]

121. seems to me there are some anger issues here

he can't just take the phone away, he has to destroy it? with a hammer? hmmm...

[WolverineDG]

125. Oh yeah, another goody two-shoes, parent is abusive because he gets mad

:eyes:

Since he was the one who most likely paid for it, it was his phone to do with as he pleases. I don't know of any parent who wouldn't get pissed off at a $4000+ phone bill.

dg

[northzax]

131. sure, reasonable to get pissed off

and I'd rather have him beat the phone than the kid.

[LeftHander]

53. I encourage texting....but not in school....

Cell in particular are complicated and require the right plan and right phone...

For my partner's niece (13) I set her up with a qwerty keyboard phone and use the parental controls available from my carrier (ATT)

With this combination and using the web site it is easy keeping tabs on texting, phone calls and useage. It is also a very effective discipline item. Taking away the phone and laptop is quite effective
and it is used frequently.

Key is also blocking and allowing numbers as well as setting time schedules when the phone is used. Not only with programmatic plan features but sitting down and setting rules.

Cell phones are very handy things they also can be abused very easily. The cell phone is pretty much ubiquitous for young folks...my college daughter easily maintains communication with her friends unobtrusively via text messages throughout the day. She has learned when it is appropriate to use the phone and not.

My tip to parents...

Do unlimited text...use limits and controls if available....or go unlimited on everything.

"With great power come great responsibility."

Stay engaged with kids and technology, have fun and use it to teach life lessons....

[TwilightGardener]

59. My older son (14) had a cell phone, lost interest in it right away, and gave

it to my younger son (13). Younger son called all his buddies all the time for a few weeks, did some texting for a few weeks, and now he's also lost interest in it and doesn't even keep it charged or take it with him. What's wrong with my boys? Their friends at school text each other CONSTANTLY, you can see them walking around town with their heads bent over, trying to text and walk at the same time. Some kids get addicted, some kids don't.

[Hepburn]

61. Who got the phone???

The girl or the parents? If the company sold the phone and the service to a 13 year old, the parents are off the hook on the bill cuz the company could not contract with the minor child ~~ she does not have the legal capacity to contract.

But...I am betting the parents got the phone for her. Sheesh!

[LisaL]

66. Sure looks to me like the parents got her the phone.

[Hepburn]

69. I agree....

...but I am wondering if the agreement with the phone service provider said anything in writing about "no texting." If it does and the feature was not disabled, maybe the parents will not be on the hook for what happened.

I feel for them ~~ we have all as parents done some stupid, unthinking things, but in this economy the $5K could be better used for other things.

JMHO

[WilliamPitt]

85. Good.

[WI_DEM]

99. I wonder how we managed to go thru a school day without texting or cell phoning?

when we grew up. It's like kids today have to be connected to somebody 24-hours per day. I actually think it's kind of sick.

[no limit]

100. The real crime here is being committed by the cell provider

this type of thing should be illegal. There is no justification for a $4,000+ phone bill, if you go over your text messages by law they should not be allowed to charge you more than what the unlimited texting plan costs.

[tammywammy]

105. I agree, they shouldn't charge more than what the unlimited plan costs. n/t

[aikoaiko]

104. If the texting was enabled, how did she send and receive them?

:shrug:

Either way, good for the dad and daughter.

[proud2BlibKansan]

190. You can't really disable texting

You can still text and if you don't have a plan, it is expensive. Same with internet access on a cell phone. If you don't have a plan you can still access the internet and it costs an arm and a leg.

[blogslut]

111. While the child may have been abusing her cell phone

Does anyone else wonder why Telcos charge ridiculous amounts of money for text messaging? Major carriers raised their txt rates from .10 per to .20 per - for a service that costs virtually nothing to provide.

[Politicalboi]

122. It's both the parents and the girls fault

They should know that to trust a kid with a cell phone you better have a good plan. Especailly a 13 year old. What were they thinking? How come they didn't make sure texting was off? They could have caught this early on. I would have checked a few days after getting the phone. They were lazy and the 13 year old didn't listen to them. By now if you haven't heard horror stories about teens and cell phone charges then they are the dumb ones. I mean this is a 13 year old girl. LOL! First year of JR High what did they think was going to happen?

[anigbrowl]

175. Quite right, in fact I put most of the blame on the parent

Read the terms of the damn plan and learn to operate the phone properly. While I quite agree that the girl was wasting waaaaay too much time texting, as far as the money goes it's the parents' fault. My cellphone allows unlimited nationwide calling and unlimited texting. It costs me $50 per month, flat fee. The tradeoff is that I'm on a network with a limited coverage area outside major cities...but even with AT&T or Verizon or whatever you can get an unlimited flat rate plan for $75 or $100.

Running up thousands of dollars in text surcharges because you didn't examine the billing options properly is just stupid. Smash the phone if you want, but the way to resolve the bill is to call the phone company and ask why they didn't send any advance warning or seek confirmation of teh increasingly huge total. They'll probably waive most of it and just charge a nominal $100 or something if he moves to an appropriate plan, or if he can show that when he bought the phone he asked for texting to be disabled at the store.

[Spike89]

123. Co-opt the technology in the classroom

We're getting lots of blowback for a book we published, From Toys to Tools. It's all about actually putting students cellphones to use in the classroom. The problem is that like 'em or not, cellphones are part of the world outside school and banning them just means that schools have shifted the responsibility for teaching ethical (and productive) use of the technology back on parents who of course are behind the curve and didn't grow up with cell phones.

Bad behavior and distractions aren't actually new and cell phones are just the latest irritants. When students are expected to use their cellphones in the classroom (our book is full of ideas from podcasting, photo stories, etc.) teachers open up teachable moments and real-life opportunities to discuss cell phone ethics, use, costs and most important, they are given responsibility and connections between their "real" lives and school.

[seabeyond]

129. my kids can get one at 18 when they move out along with the tv in their room... n/t

[budkin]

132. Do schools actually let kids bring cell phones?

They didn't even let us chew gum... WTF.

[seabeyond]

139. my kids school and this district work hard (spend a lot of time) trying to get

kids not to have phones in school, or at least shut down. the policy is getting harsher every year as they have little success battling this, mainly cause they lack PARENT support. they have a policy that escalates if phones are used in school and then they take away for rest of school year on third strike. parents become outraged, outraged i tell you that little johnny got in trouble.

do tell what schools should do with parents not helping and actually getting in their way to keep phones out of schools?

[Spike89]

146. An idea...put the phones to work

Banning common technology is difficult, and it does nothing to teach appropriate uses of the technology. Instead, encourage students to use cell pjhones as learning devices. Even the most basic current models have planners, calculators, and other applets. There are lessons about the cellular technology, the billing plans, and the phones themselves that can be applied accross the curriculum while at the same time opening the door to lessons about phone ettiquette, dangers, and disadvantages. Denying/banning cell phones closes those doors.

[seabeyond]

147. so now do you suggest all the kids without phones either cause of cost or parent says NO

should get phones.

kids can learn all this stuff on their own. there is plenty in the schools teaching them current technology. they dont need this added into their cirriculum and all our kids dont need to be outfitted with the damn phones.

the parents can do their jobs and make sure the phones dont interfer with class, academics.

[anigbrowl]

179. Zzzz...I remember similar complaints about kids 'playing' with comptuers in the 1980s

Yep, all those hours fiddling with computers were sure a giant waste of time.

[proud2BlibKansan]

191. So are you proposing we add a cell phone to the school supply list?

Don't we make the parents spend enough money on school supplies as it is? LOL

[yowzayowzayowza]

148. Highway robbery.

If an unltd plan for an entire year costs say $1000, $4000 for a months unltd usage is a racket plain and simple.

[Goblinmonger]

172. $1000???

We have unlimited texting on all 4 of our cell phones on our family plan for $10/month.

[yowzayowzayowza]

173. Indeed, even werce!!!! n/t

[Joanne98]

149. My friend's daughter ran up a 2000$ bill. Playing games.

[rcrush]

153. Guy smashes phone makes the news?

Denver must be boring as hell.

[ima_sinnic]

162. oooh, how did I EVER get along without a cell phone as a teenager?

and how can I possibly manage now, with only a conventional corded landline phone?

freedom from gadgets is a wonderful feeling.

[Bluebear]

165. She wnt wy ovrbrd lol...cu l8r Dena!

[sniffa]

176. CNT TLK POS

[Bluebear]

180. K TELL ME WHN THR GONE.

[davidpdx]

184. I think the dad did the right thing in the end, but the daughter

should have to work off the bill in house chores.

Teaching here in Korea, many of the kids have cell phones as young as 10 or 11. The kids go to school during the day and then to hagwon (maybe one or two) after school before going home. My niece is 14 and got a cell phone a year ago. While I don't know what arrangement she has with her parents in terms of the bill, I'd venture to guess she's pretty responsible (if not, she'd hear it from her father, my Korean brother-in-law, who is VERY strict). Now I teach at a university and I don't take phones away often because most of them have built in dictionaries that they use during class (Korean to English) and I monitor them closely to make sure they aren't using the phones for texting.

[backscatter712]

186. I'd smash the phone too, but I have a question...

How on earth is even 10,000 text messages, or 1.5 megabytes of data in the form of 150 character messages, worth four thousand dollars?

Consider that over the Internet, I can send and receive far more data for nothing, except the base monthly charge I pay my ISP?

Consider that cell phone plans with a data plan handle that amount of data routinely, and that many people have unlimited text messaging on their cell phone plans so they can send and receive 10,000 text messages for nothing more than their monthly fee?

I know what this is (other than a bratty daughter causing trouble...)

PHONE COMPANY PRICE GOUGING.

[Cynical Guy]

189. Total scam.

On top of everything you just said, keep this in mind. There is no "Quality of Service" requirement for a text message. It can arrive when they feel like getting it there, and the compressed text takes so little room, it doesn't have to be put in a correct sequence.

Think about how hard it is to get voice traffic in nearly real-time, in the correct order, and in a high enough quality soundform that it can be understood on the other end.

Text messaging is proof that it's a race to the bottom. It makes them SO much money, that no provider will offer it for free. I just wonder how long it will be before we find out that Company X and Company Y colluded to ensure the price stayed high, and then as soon as the next cash cow is delivered, they can simultaneously make it free and look like heroes.

Total scam.

[HughMoran]

205. I'd smash the phone with a bat if this happened to me

Of course, it wouldn't happen to me as I'd never allow this to happen in the first place. Plus, how can she have 2 months of "F's" if she only did this texting thing during one month billing cycle? One way or the other, the parents should take a bat to each other for their part in this stupidity.