The Nation: Glenn Beck Faces Down General Tso's Sleeper Cells

[marmar]

Glenn Beck Faces Down General Tso's Sleeper Cells
posted by Leslie Savan on 04/09/2009 @ 2:35pm


On Wednesday, Fox News talk-show host Glenn Beck and one of his guests, Nehru-jacketed, retired Marine colonel William V. Cowan, were chatting about how inadequately Semper Fi Obama's response has been to the pirates off the Somali coast. Suddenly the conversation veered into the (apparently real) news that Russian and Chinese spies have hacked into the U.S. electrical grid--Commies in the wall sockets! Perhaps encouraged by how Beck seemed to appreciate his cheerful, neo-Paranoid Style, Cowan (a Fox military analyst, who FNC calls an "internationally acknowledged expert" in terrorism and military special ops) shared some related intel: "every Chinese restaurant out there across the United States, every one is a sleeper cell."

Oh-kay. Beck--who's been trying to fend off charges that he encouraged alleged cop-killer Richard Poplawski with crazy talk about FEMA concentration camps and Obama coming to take your guns--laughed nervously and cut off the Strangelovian Cowan.

However, questions remain: Does this mean there'll be no Chinese tea at the April 15, anti-tax Tea Parties that Fox has been heavily promoting? (Beck will be "reporting" live from...the Alamo.) What does this episode tell us about the quality of the "experts" Beck invites on his show? Exactly how did a conservative blogger know ahead of time that "the liberal left" will try to "destroy" Beck over Cowan's comment? Hmmm.

Lastly, why does Beck's website include video that helps introduce the former Marine but not a second of footage with the wingnut himself? Hmmm. (And if you have such video, please send!)

UPDATE: This piece has been updated with the colonel's actual name, but we're still looking for the hilarious video.


http://www.thenation.com/blogs/state_of_change/425664?rel=hp_picks

[LostInAnomie]

1. Get ready for a bunch of Chinese restaurants to be shot up.

[annabanana]

2. Chinese restaurants = sleeper cells??

O.M.G.

[TahitiNut]

3. "every Chinese restaurant out there ... is a sleeper cell."

:rofl: :rofl:

So ... does that mean excess government spending is now regarded as "Sweet & Sour Pork"??

Does Glenn Beck have rice whine with his Mongolian Beefs?

Are Beck and Limbaugh Almond Boneless Chickenhawks??

:rofl: :rofl:

[marmar]

4. 'excess government spending is now regarded as "Sweet & Sour Pork"??'

:spray:

[gratuitous]

5. Is Colonel Mustard still safe?

Or should he move from the Conservatory to the Kitchen?

[SpiralHawk]

6. The peckish Beck Boy - yet another Republicon Chickenhawk - has ODed on the WanTons

And the CheatOs. Again. As usual.

Wide-stance Republicon Chickenhawk propagandists and their FEAR thingy are so, um, unMANLY

[Dr.Phool]

7. I told him he better send General Tso's Chicken back.

He's really pissed that someone took it!

[DCKit]

8. I watched about five minutes of GB yesterday, 'cause I've never seen the show...

The S.O. came out of the kitchen and said "WTF are you watching? Is that Fox?"

Even from a different room, the crazy is apparent to someone only half-listening.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

9. Wow. When your brand of Yikes is too creepy for Blech

You're breaking new ground.

[chollybocker]

10. Can't wait for Beck to start infiltrating Chinese restaurants...

"Did you know that the Chinese eat their food with sticks? Uh-huh! Real live sticks!"
and
"You know what these people call Chinese food? Food!! I'm outraged by this!"

Beck's screw gets a little looser every day.

[zbdent]

11. if they dropped "super warrior" Glenn Beck behind enemy lines to infiltrate the enemy,

they'd find him by the scent of his soiled bvds ...

[Historic NY]

12. What my garlic chicken is Un-American?....

Chinese food here isn't what the Chinese eat. Its what they think Americans like.