For those of you to which Suddenly Senior is new, the hosts, Carolyn and Frank Kaiser are both fighting terminal cancer. Their choice to battle the diseases is to keep smiling and laughing as much as they can each day, with the knowledge that each precious day is savored and that there might not be another day beyond it.
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THOUGHTS ON EASTER MORN
My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty,
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
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Q; Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them.
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ORIGINS OF THE EASTER BUNNY
In pagan times, the "Easter hare" was no ordinary animal, but a sacred companion of the old goddess of spring, Eostre.
The Easter bunny has its origin in pre-Christian fertility lore. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the Spring season.
Since long before Jesus Christ was born, parents told their children that the magic hare would bring them presents at the spring festival. The presents were often painted eggs, as these represented the new life starting at this time of year." Hares are animals which look like rabbits, but are larger and in many countries quite rare. In most places, the Easter bunny has replaced the Easter hare completely.
The bunny was first used as a symbol of Easter in 16th century Germany, where it was first mentioned in German writings. The first edible Easter bunnies, made primarily of pastry and sugar, were produced in Germany as well, during the early 1800s.
Also in Germany, children made nests of grass and placed them in their yards. They believed the Easter Bunny would fill these baskets with brightly decorated eggs during the night.
The Easter bunny was introduced to American folklore by the German settlers who arrived in the Pennsylvania Dutch country during the 1700s.
The arrival of the "Oschter Haws" was considered "childhood's greatest pleasure" next to a visit from Christ-Kindel on Christmas Eve. The children believed that if they were good the "Oschter Haws" would lay a nest of colored eggs.
Thus the custom of making nests also spread to America. Children would build their nest in a secluded place in the home, the barn or the garden.
Boys would use their caps and girls their bonnets to make the nests . The use of elaborate Easter baskets would come later as the tradition of the Easter bunny spread through out the country.
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Q: How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
A: He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.
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Q: What would you get if you crossed the
Easter Bunny with Chinese food?
A: Hop suey.
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I WANNA A WABBIT
A precocious little girl missing two front teeth, walks into a pet shop and says to the shopkeeper, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you have widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy
bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit overthere?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a quiet voice,"You know, mithter, I don't think my python will weally give a thyit."
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Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.
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WELL WORTH REMEMBERING
The hour is lost.
Was ever hour so sweet?
Fruitful of blessing,
friends and honeyed words
The sunlight in our faces,
at our feet
The world, bright, beautiful,
its flocks and herds,
Foliage of forests,
choruses of birds.
O happy time,
why did we stand downcast?
We should have leapt for love:
but now, the hour is past.
The hour is lost.
Scarce had we time to mark
The glory of the green,
the sky's soft blue;
It came as silently
as comes the dark,
Our hearts burned
hot within us ere we knew.
Then suddenly we said,
Can it be true
This golden time was ours?
And now downcast
We stand dumb and amazed.
Alas! the hour is past.
(J. Shaw Neilson)
This Australian poet was nearly blind and scraped a living
clearing bushland and mending roads.
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Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot.
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THE CONFESSIONAL
It was Good Friday, Easter was just three days away, and she hadn't been to confession in several years.
Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face in time for Easter Mass."
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Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
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TRULY BEAUTIFUL
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, were spending Easter Sunday at the zoo.
Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
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Q: What's pink, has five toes, and is carried by the Easter Bunny?
A: His lucky people's foot.
--------------------------------------------------------------
EASTER MAKEOVER REALITY
NOTE: Practice these suggestions and be the most beautiful person in the Easter Parade
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your hands
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others
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Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.
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When I'm an Old Lady, I'll Live With My Kids
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness... just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided,
Returning each deed. Oh, they'll be so excited!
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