When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay' - 11 Year Old Suicide

[RamboLiberal]

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover was only 11-- hardly old enough to know his sexuality and yet distraught enough to hang himself last week after school bullies repeatedly called him "gay."

The Springfield, Mass., football player and Boy Scout was ruthlessly teased, despite his mother's pleas to the New Leadership Charter School to address the problem.

Sirdeaner L. Walker, 43, found Carl hanging by an extension cord on the second floor of their home on April 6, just minutes before she was going to a meeting to confront school authorities again.

"I am broken hearted," she told ABCNews.com. "We worry about the economy and about Iraq, but we need to be worried about our schools."

Walker, who works as a director of homeless programs, said Carl -- a slight child who loved his school work -- had endured endless taunts since he had started sixth grade in September.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=7328091&page=1

What a shame that bullies are still allowed to torment kids like this.

[DrDan]

1. I don't know how we can ever make progress with the young bullies when

we have a governor who refers to his fellow-legislators as "girlie-men" and when we have wannabes hosting radio and television shows boasting of how macho they are.

Our heroes wear uniforms and kill.

We look down on and make fun of "tree huggers", intellectuals, those that are sensitive and introspective.

Our emphasis on testosterone (or lack thereof) will only lead to more of this.

How sad.

[WinkyDink]

3. We love thugs. It shows in our popular music; in our TV shows AND commercials; in our competitions;

in our vehicles (a Hummer STRETCH LIMOUSINE ?!); and, of course, in our war-waging.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Will the bullies be punished now?

Will they be shown that their actions caused a death? Or will they be proud and brag about it? If I were a parent of one of them, I would be so ashamed.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

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[whathehell]

5. Horribly tragic....I can't imagine what this poor little boy felt

or what his broken-hearted mom must feel now.:cry:

[JoDog]

8. I can imagine how he felt

because I felt it. From the day I entered kindergarten to the day I graduated high school, I was subjected to almost daily taunts, threats and harassment. The bullies' "justifications" for this were several: I was nerdy, too smart for a girl. I had buck teeth. My parents were poor, and it showed in my clothes. I was the first girl in my year to develop. I wore glasses. The list goes on. The truth is they did it because they could. The teachers did little to stop it, and don't get me started on the parents. Eventually, I stopped reporting it because it was pointless and sometimes made things worse.

By about 4th grade I thought about suicide. Why I didn't do it, I'll never know. I will light a candle for this boy tonight.

[ejpoeta]

13. i'm sorry you went through that. so did i. and it doesn't matter.... if they want to pick on you

they will find a reason. It was awful, but as I recall, it was just a part of life. just ignore them. How can you when you see them all the time!!! I admit now that I want to go down to the school and throw a fit every time my daughter has a problem with other kids. To a certain extent, I know that I can't fix it for her. I can tell her to ignore them all I want, but I know how hollow that is coming from a parent. Teachers don't tend to do a whole heckuva lot about much. When i was a kid my brother got beat up by the older kids on the bus and the bus driver did NOTHING. if i remember correctly, he laughed. the kids tried to take my brothers shoes off and throw them out the window. My parents complained and the driver was gone, but then was back again. and i'm sure nothing happened to the kids.

[carlyhippy]

6. Is there anything legally that can be done here?

Can the school be sued, or the parents of the brats who teased this poor young man? I think parents should just bypass involving the schools and invovle the police and the bullying kids' parents.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. There has to be more to this story.

It's not normal for an 11-yr old to kill themself, and certainly not merely because he was beaten up and harassed.

That said, the school should be culpable for the incident if they did nothing to stop the bullying. It should have its charter revoked.

[LWolf]

9. That's a tragedy.

I will point out that "what we need to worry about," in this case, is not schools, who do not create bullies, but a culture that does.

Schools also don't "allow" that kind of torment. They do what they can, which is not enough.

Until the nation is willing to do away with overcrowding, understaffing, and the factory school system, it's going to be that way.

In my small, rural, homophobic corner of the world, I got to talk to my students about homophobia and bullying recently. One of them did a book talk for the class on James Howe's new book, "Totally Joe."

About a 7th grader who comes out. The story includes the bullying he's experienced from peers. It also includes a look at how bullies become what they are.

No 7th grader in his right mind would come out at my school, or at many schools across the nation. While we could keep him physically safe, we don't have the capacity to shield him from all of the social bullying he would experience.

We ARE proactive in teaching our kids how to stand up to social bullying, and in paying close attention and stepping in ASAP. We do a decent job of containing it, anyway. We can, because we are a small school. We have fewer students for longer, we get to know them better, and, since there is not that many of them, we can do a better job of monitoring the environment than in bigger schools.

The bullying, though, comes from a home environment and a culture that encourages it. Not from our incompetence or neglect.

[carlyhippy]

11. good for your school being proactive on bullying

now if more schools would step up it may help.

[LWolf]

14. Restructure more schools

to make it humanly possible, and I'm betting they will.

Change the infrastructure, then fully fund and support that new infrastructure, and school staff will be able to do much more to address the problem:

1. Small schools. No more big factory schools.
2. Small class sizes. No more factory classrooms.
3. More adult staff: increase the ratio of adults to students. Fully fund staffing counselors, nurses, and playground, field, hallway, bathroom, and cafeteria supervision. I routinely wander through the halls and bathroom near my room during my duty-free lunch and planning period, just to make sure there is an adult visible in the areas most likely to be abused during lunch, recess, and passing periods. I shouldn't have to. I should be dealing with the unending piles of work on my desk, planning and evaluating units of instruction, contacting parents, and all those other tasks that require my time. We should have the funding to staff supervision of those areas without pulling others from their contractual duties.

4. Loop students with the same teacher or group of teachers for secondary for more than one year. It allows adults to build relationships and use what they learn about students to move further forward.
5. Add the proactive, explicit teaching of social skills, and enforcement of the "respect" rule that exists in some form on every campus across the nation.

[JerseygirlCT]

10. It's horrible

And horrible that adults can stand by while this is happening.

[Odin2005]

12. And often the people in authority are bullies themselves.

I swear I have something like PTSD from teachers and supervisors treating me like shit because my Asperger's Syndrome is dismissed as "laziness" and "making excuses".

[TexasObserver]

15. Bullying is not being properly handled in our public schools.

Too often, it's being ignored.