George Will On Jeans: Entire Column Devoted To Critiquing Your Pants

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

Because Daniel Akst's twenty-five day-old Wall Street Journal screed about denim wasn't going to lazily re-write itself for Fred Hiatt, super-genius George Will has done the world a favor by regurgitating Akst's piece through his own hack prism for the Washington Post. And like, many hack columns, it begins with a metaphorical trip to the airport:

On any American street, or in any airport or mall, you see the same sad tableau: A 10-year-old boy is walking with his father, whose development was evidently arrested when he was that age, judging by his clothes. Father and son are dressed identically -- running shoes, T-shirts. And jeans, always jeans. If mother is there, she, too, is draped in denim.

Exactly! Surely the majesty - the divinity! - of twenty-first century air travel, with its useless TSA goons pawing you for your bottle of nail polish remover and forcing you to remove your shoes like kindergarteners, is a venue that calls upon us all to wear only our finest breeches and spats! "Jeans come prewashed and acid-treated to make them look like what they are not," Will complains, whilst prewashing and acid-treating Akst's idea for your easy consumption, "authentic work clothes for horny-handed sons of toil and the soil."

Trenchant! And it just goes on and on from there! Poll taxes for video game enthusiasts! The "sin of lookism!" "Two and a Half Men!" Paul's letter to the Corinthians! I think Will's main problem with jeans is how much they impede him from pulling strange and ill conceived cultural referents from out of his ass. Like this one:

For men, sartorial good taste can be reduced to one rule: If Fred Astaire would not have worn it, don't wear it. For women, substitute Grace Kelly.

Aye, verily, in today's economy, you can't not afford to look like you're on your way to the Easter Parade. We are just a nation of swells!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/16/george-will-on-jeans-enti_n_187690.html

[RandomKoolzip]

1. George "poindexter" Will is the LAST fuckin' guy who ought to be critiquing fashion.

Dude dresses like the 1930s were the 1960s.

[WhiteTara]

6. is his middle name really Poindexter? n/t

[RandomKoolzip]

11. Uh, figger o' speech.

Ya know, like "nerdlinger," "pencil neck," etc. Will looks and dresses like he got beat up everyday outside the girls' locker room. Obviously not a fellow you ought to take fashion advice from.

[WhiteTara]

33. oh...always the straight man n/t

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

31. look up "george will's sports machine"

a classic snl sketch with dana carvey, phil hartman and jon lovitz that really nailed the ol' nerd

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

2. George Will is as relevant as reruns of Father Knows Best.

Very little of what he says is germaine to our day and age.

[Enrique]

3. everybody looks better in jeans

I hardly even notice women at work except on casual Friday.

And everyone looks worse in a bow tie.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

4. Somewhere there's a picture of Fred Astaire in jean shorts with George Will's name on it.

Most pictures of Fred Astaire, of course, show him wearing dancing costumes cut to look like tuxedoes and business attire.

I hope I don't run into George Will walking around wearing a leotard.

[RandomKoolzip]

7. I can't believe he's using Fred Astaire as his fashion touchstone.

Oh yeah, the right totally has their finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. No wonder young people are flocking to the GOP in thundering herds....:eyes:

[Occam Bandage]

5. Jeans are sexy. That's why people wear them. Seriously, is Will writing this column from 1956? nt

[lukasahero]

12. Actually, some of us wear them because they're comfortable eom

[blondeatlast]

19. Isn't he ALWAYS? nt

[RaleighNCDUer]

22. That does depend on who is wearing them.

The best cut, tailored, $200 pair of jeans will not make me look sexy.

But the $14 jeans I wear 7 days a week ARE comfortable.

[JerseygirlCT]

26. Jeans are comfortable and durable

that's why most wear them, I think. Unfortunately, they're not always sexy. If you've got a great figure and the right cut of jeans, they surely can be. But not always, that's for sure!

[azmouse]

8. He's an idiot.

[madmom]

9. Talk about elitist!

[hfojvt]

10. Yes, as a 'son of toil'

It's a shame that I would not be caught dead wearing a little bow tie. Not even if it meant I never had to do an honest day's work again.

[krabigirl]

13. I thought this was satire. What an idiot! Jeans are fashionable and durable. What's not to like?

I don't get it.
Also, what's so wrong with adults playing video games? I've been playing them since the time of Atari 2600. I guess I shouldn't vote?

[blueworld]

14. Like we need wardrobe advice from Mr. Peepers? Lost for a topic, Georgie?

Summa freakin' contra denim??? I think the Post needs to keep a watch on this guy; he's about to "Glenn Beck", if you know what I mean.

Aha! He never mentioned Wranglers - I think he's being anti-denim-Semitic. Also, it's only bad-taste casual if you don't have a crease, you're not wearing underwear & you show your butt-crack. Otherwise it's summa freakin' casual, cheap, comfortable & matches everything you own.

If you wear a sports jacket or blazer with your denims, it's summa freakin' cool. Suspenders are optional.

Fred & Grace had Hollywood wardrobe departments to outfit them, and made lots more summa freakin' money.

Why does this man still have a column? Good grief. :crazy:

[JohnnyLib2]

15. Sounds like a William F. Buckley wannabe.

Quaint, though.

[Telly Savalas]

37. Yeah, he's a goof, but he's certainly a lot more palatable than assholes like Hannity and Beck.

[Art_from_Ark]

40. I was thinking more along the lines of Andy Rooney

[WI_DEM]

16. Well nobody wants to see George Will in jeans

[Arugula Latte]

17. What's next? Railing against this newfangled Rock and Roll jungle music?

:banghead:

[Arugula Latte]

18. I have an idea. From now on, everyone should wear assless chaps to the airport.

Helps expedite the cavity searches.

[Cabcere]

24. You owe me a new keyboard.

:spray: :applause:

[Cash_thatswhatiwant]

34. I lol'd.

:D

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

39. Now that would make standing in line at the airport

more interesting, if not necessarily more aesthetically appealing. :rofl:

[blondeatlast]

20. From a man with less style than Les Nessman. nt

[bullwinkle428]

30. For the uninitiated...

:rofl:

[olegramps]

21. I have never seen a young Republican that didn't look like a nerd.

They all look like George Will. He is the nerd's nerd.

[Canuckistanian]

23. He must have early "Andy Rooney Syndrome"

Causes older people to obsess on trivial details.

Characterized by the excessive use of the question, "What's up with that?"

[AnnInLa]

25. That column was truly bizarre

Altho I would laugh like hell to see George Will in jeans and a tee-shirt.

I think, tho he did not say so directly, that he was sad to see most people looking very alike everyone else. If everyone dresses casually in jeans, then how will George Will know who the elites are and who the rabble is?

[hatrack]

27. George Will: Born April 7th, 1768, Died ( )

It only seems like he's been around forever . . .

[RB TexLa]

28. Adults should dress as adults.

[PA Democrat]

29. Women should dress like Grace Kelly? She died 27 YEARS AGO!

Loosen your tie, George. It's cut off the blood flow to your brain.

:rofl:

[RadicalTexan]

32. One really cannot tell where the reality ends and parody begins anymore

This is the best piece of humor I have ever read in the Washington Post; it's just filled with priceless gems.

[Gormy Cuss]

35. I see that Jonah Goldberg has some competition.

What a pantload.

[fishwax]

36. wah! I want my 1950s back!

God, what a waste of space.

[Ikonoklast]

38. Coming from a guy that wears stiff white shirts and a bowtie.

I'd rather get fashion tips from someone that actually knows what the word means.

In this case, anyone.