Bullied to death

[Forkboy]

RELENTLESS BULLYING, including anti-gay slurs, by students at the New Leadership Charter School in Springfield pushed sixth-grader Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover to take his own life, according to his mother. The quality of interventions by school officials is unclear. But an act so desperate by one so young is a clear reminder of how schools can become torture chambers for students perceived as different.

Massachusetts led the nation in 1993 by crafting an anti-discrimination law for gay and lesbian students. But the law is only as effective as the educators who implement it. And the stakes can be higher in poor, urban districts like Springfield, where nonconformity too often draws aggressive attention. Teachers or administrators who ignore even a single degrading comment in that environment can open the door to a world of pain.

Any sentient school official knows that gay students, or those perceived to be gay, are teased and bullied disproportionately. One remedy is the use of student handbooks that outline the specific consequences of discriminating against gay students. At New Leadership, students in the middle and high school grades sign a Golden Rule contract pledging not to "laugh, tease or poke fun at others." But there is no specific mention in the student handbook of discrimination based on race, religion, or sexual orientation. The school's written anti-harassment policies need to reflect the reality that students who are different actually face.
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A case such as this requires education officials to consider what policies and practices may have been overlooked. Focusing solely on bullies and victims is rarely enough. How can schools build a critical mass of students who are willing to come to the aid of a targeted student and stand against their peers? The family of a dead 11-year-old boy deserves to know.

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2009/04/22/bullied_to_death/

[marshall]

1. Add weight to the list of things kids get bullied for

And now that they are reputedly contributing to global warming that just gives the bullies more ammunition.

[SmokingJacket]

2. Oh, God. My 6th-grade son is

"gayish."

How can I tell if he's being teased? We have a good relationship but I don't think he would tell me -- he doesn't like me interfering in his school life. He's very private.

Stories like this just kill me.

[comtec]

4. Just tell him you love him

that no matter what, you will love him, that there is N O T H I N G in the universe that will change your boundless love for him.
That you will defend him, and stand up for him.
Just... be yourself :)
IMHO as long as he knows there's nothing WRONG with being gay, or "different", he should be ok.
He may never open up to you, kids are just like that, i remember being like that.
But knowing that my parents both loved me, I thin kept me from crossing the line a few times.
that and my cat =]
If I was gone, who'd take care of my beloved cat.

[SmokingJacket]

5. Thank you.

My son LOVES cats, too!

[Forkboy]

6. "If I was gone, who'd take care of my beloved cat."

I can't tell you how many times that thought has stopped some of my own suicidal thoughts. Friends and family will survive and deal, but who will take care of Mister Frisco? :)

[comtec]

14. I had the most loving, wonderful cat growing up.

I got her when i was 10, she died a several years ago when i was 26.
She was my precious little girl, and was so affectionate to me.
She was rescued from my friends' farm, who has feral cats.
We got her as a kitten, and she had the loudest purr i've ever heard from a cat.
I miss her terribly still, and she definitely saved my life on many occasions as the only "person" who seemed to love me at times.

I have a cat and a dog, and I love them both. They may be the only children my wife and I can have. Adoption isn't really an option because she has diabetes, and the adoption agencies here are .

But pets are so important to a young psyche i dont know if it can ever be measured.

Love may not overcome all, but it sure helps :)

[ShortnFiery]

3. My best friend in First Grade threw himself in front of a bus in London ... suicide.

Children can be cruel because they often reflect the prejudices of their parents. In my friend's case he was half Japanese and half British. The other American Schools (English/American) kids in Singapore would ostracize and tease him about his oriental "slant eyes" etc. - because many older adults were NOT OVER the horrific events of WWII. I wish that we were not separated in 1964 after there was Martial Law declared and all civilian contractors were sent back to their place of origin. Part of me wishes and wants to believe that I could have made a difference. :cry:

[Forkboy]

9. I'd say that situation was well out of your hands.

Maybe you could have made a difference, but you weren't given that option. Sometimes events are bigger than we are, rendering us pretty useless in many ways, through no fault of our own. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it.

[ShortnFiery]

12. Thanks for your thoughtful advice.

I have regrets albeit I did not have any control over his situation. I'm just human and a sensitive soul. :shrug:

[dugaresa]

7. my school has a no tolerance for bullies rule

my child and others were being teased by one child in particular. that kid was pulled into the guidance office and told that if he did not cease he would lose bus privileges.

bullying ended.

[Forkboy]

8. Good to see them nip it in the bud.

It's not really an answer for the bully himself, who needs more than just punishment of some kind, but it's a good short term answer for the ones being bullied, and maybe, just maybe, the bully will learn something about his actions in the meantime.

[EOTE]

13. Why can't more schools do that?

That seems like an incredibly simple and effective way of stopping bullying. Are schools now so lame they can't even make a minor effort like that?

[LeftinOH]

10. The bullying is more "gay-baiting" than anti-gay. Although those who do the

bullying leave no question as to their feelings about "fags", their targets tend to include anyone & everyone who falls outside of their tiny universe - and **every** one of their unfortunate targets is going to get the "faggot" label hurled at them- whether gay or not. After all, according to bullies, being a "faggot" is the Absolute. Worst. Thing. Ever.

[QC]

11. IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE A TWO MINUTE PRAYER!1!!!!1

[joeybee12]

15. This really sucks...it's tough enough to be a kid...

...what really struck me was that there needs to be something so that other kids come to the aid of the kid who is being bullied. Again, though, it's the school that needs to ensure that the policy is enforced.