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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:13 PM
Original message
Do you think the domestic violence shelters in your area
have moved past the notion that domestic violence means spousal abuse with the man as abuser all the time? I'm trying to find serivces for a man who has a mental illness, is unemployed and lives at home with a parent. The parent is often physically abusive. The man finally pushed the parent, who then called the police and had the man jailed. The court convicted him of assault (or battery, not sure), but gave him a very light sentence, and even that was suspended. The judge seemed to see what was going on.

This man is still living at home, with the parent threatening to call police again for all kinds of reasons. There are all kinds of rules and limitations--can't use the computer, can't watch TV, can't close bedroom door, etc. This pushes the man to where he feels like lashing out, but fears going to jail. I told him to talk to the domestic violence shelter. He has, and said they have no services for men, no shelter, no groups, no counselors who will work with him. He's in a very rural area, but surely people in human services know there are a range of family dynamics which might lead to abuse.

Mostly, I'm at my wit's end. Every time I try to hook this man up with services, there's some reason he doesn't qualify. I have real fears as to where this might end up. He's not a parishioner, but someone I've known for a long time and care about.

I'm wondering whether most shelters are able to serve a variety of victims of domestic violence and abuse. Do you think the shelter in your area does?
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annabanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. What a heartbreaking situation.
I hope someone can give you some possibilities...
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wellstone dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. The service would be provided in a different way
i.e. the shelter has a deal with motels for rooms.

Contact your local legal aid office for ideas and referrals and possibly representation if they have the resources.
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Thanks! I'll call Legal Aid. nt
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. Adult Protective Services.
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Maru Kitteh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. What rug just said up there^ Adult Protective Services would be a very good place to start.
Good luck to you. I hope all goes well.


UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE NOW !
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Laelth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. No. Not here in GA, at least.
Generally speaking, if you're poor and have a penis, you can't get help.

:dem:

-Laelth
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. I'm feeling like that here, too.
PS. I love your sig graphic!
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corpseratemedia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
5. maybe there is a group home that can take him


I have a friend who has a sibling with mental illness and he is their legal representative, he makes all "their" decisions and is trying to find a group home/independent living facility in our area.

If he's on disability that may help.

He needs someone to legally represent him in this complex situation. Mentally ill people are at such a disadvantage here.

Best of luck I hope your friend will find someone to take him in.
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. Call...
...call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) - and see what they can suggest?
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. Thanks! I've tried local numbers, but this may have other ideas.
Thank you!
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 09:29 PM
Response to Original message
11. No. Call the NAMI number in his area and find a human being.
That's what I would do. Good luck, good person. :hug:
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-30-09 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. NAMI. There's a good idea. Thanks! nt
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