Father digs his son's grave

[CatWoman]

BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) - After cancer took the life of a 15-year-old boy, his family dug the teen's grave themselves to save on funeral costs and also received assistance from complete strangers to give him a proper burial.

Melvin Critney lost his battle with cancer last week. His father, Melvin Stewart, said his son was sent into the world with a mission, which he did well. He said Melvin left an impression on everyone he came across. Even Melvin's nurses said he had a special kind of energy. They said he was always grateful and grown-up. His mother, Rosland Critney, said most of all he wanted to see his parents not have to work so hard to live like other people.

Melvin's parents said they make just enough money to get by. When their son had to undergo several rounds of chemo therapy, they relied on St. Jude for funding. However, when Melvin died, his parents were on their own to pay for the funeral. Stewart said everything was about the money. A local funeral director told the family it would cost $5,000 to bury their son. Funeral Director Hall Davis, IV told them they could save $300 if they dug their own grave. He said it is a common practice.

Melvin's father, cousin, and two uncles started digging. Stewart said digging the hole he knew his son was going to be placed in as his final resting place was not a pretty picture. Even after digging into the depths of despair, this family still owed the funeral director more money. Davis said the funeral home always gets paid in full before the funeral.

http://www.wafb.com/global/story.asp?s=10733339

[Blue_Tires]

1. very sad...

rec'd

[CatWoman]

2. however

at least there was a happy(?) ending............

[BlooInBloo]

4. Nevertheless - the additional stress added onto the pain... Sigh.

[CatWoman]

9. i know

i just couldn't imagine.....

[BlooInBloo]

3. Ah jeez. :((((((

[TahitiNut]

5. Strong people. The pain is etched on them.

:cry: :cry:

[roguevalley]

18. This was on tv this morning. The peace officer association of the

state and other people stepped in and helped them pay all of it off. This had a bittersweet twist that way. Very sad. This should be the story in every congressman's inbox TODAY.

[babylonsister]

6. Heartbreaking. nt

[formercia]

7. Another funeral scam.

People should check their state laws to see what the minimum requirements for a burial are. Crooked funeral directors take advantage of relatives when they are most vulnerable.

[Peacetrain]

8. So very heartbreaking..

[Gwendolyn]

10. Many people find themselves in that predicament.

Can't afford to live, and can't afford to die.

Lots of people opt for cremation as it's cheaper, and funeral homes allow people to "rent" caskets for the viewing.

[ejpoeta]

12. yeah, we found that out when we went in to set up my dad's funeral. we went the same day

he died up to the funeral home. the idea of renting a casket gives me the creeps!! we were going to bury him in a casket at a cost with the flowers and everything of like $10k... but my aunt, after finding out about it, told us that their family tradition had always been cremation. and that is what dad would have wanted. We had no idea since he never left instructions or anything... we were guessing from my mom's funeral and she was buried in a casket. so we changed the arrangements for cremation and knocked $5k off the price. Thank god he had some life insurance to pay for the funeral, that's all i know. It was bad enough as it was without trying to figure out how to pay for it.

[Gwendolyn]

14. That's incredibly similar to our story.

We also went to the funeral home the same day my mom passed, and the person assigned to us went through the options. I had never heard of renting a casket either, and it definitely gave me the creeps too. It was bad enough "shopping" the day our mom died. I always remembered that as it kind of shocked me at the time. The lowest end caskets were I think around $1800, so for some, I guess it's not an option to consider. Like you, we realized that the cremation was much less of an expense. These were our mother's wishes, but for some it's the only way to afford a dignified farewell.

[ejpoeta]

22. sorry you had to go through that. it's like you are in a bad dream or something.

at least they did the easy stuff first... flowers days prayer cards.... casket was last, and they were in the basement. I was amazed at how opulent some of them were.... for something that would be in the ground and no one would ever see. At least we didn't have to pay for a plot... my dad had had 4 of them from after my sister died long long ago. my mom was buried in one, and then my dad gave away the other two. but luckily he could be buried with margie (my sister) and be next to my mom. just like he wanted. that whole experience just made me want to make sure my husband or anyone else had to go through the decisions we had to go through and not knowing what was what....

[csziggy]

31. $5000 for a cremation? That is pretty outrageous

A few years ago a very close friend died. All his widow could spend was the $300 she would get from his veteran's benefits. She negotiated with a crematorium for that price, provided a container she already had (that they had purchased together) to hold the ashes, declined the use of a funeral parlor's "viewing room" and all his family and friends met at their farm for a memorial.

I found a picture that I had taken of him, framed it and it was put at the front, friends stood up in turn and told stories about Jerry. We all cried, laughed and cried together. After, we tucked into the massive amounts of food that had been brought by everyone and continued to remember Jerry.

When my bother-in-law passed, my sister did a similar thing. No "ceremony" or viewing. Cremation and a gathering of family and friends to share our memories. I am not sure how she handled the financial end, but I know since his death was expected, she and her husband had made all the decisions and arrangements ahead of time.

For me, both those gatherings said much more about the deceased and their impact on the world than all the fancy boxes, elaborate headstones, or contrived rituals could have.

[ejpoeta]

33. it was $5000 for everything... including the servie, the flowers... sorry for the confusion.

[csziggy]

35. OK, I guess if people want the full deal, they have to pay for it

My two examples were about people that couldn't pay for all of that or were not willing to pay for it and chose other routes to save money. The point being that we have been brainwashed into thinking we need all those trappings just to say goodbye to a loved one while simpler can sometimes reach our hearts more effectively than the pomp and ceremony would. And the families did not go into debt to say their goodbyes.

[ejpoeta]

36. we were lucky we had an insurance policy to cover the costs. otherwise i imagine

we would have been a lot more frugal. even with the cremation we had to buy a box to put it in and because it was being buried some kind of enclosure. not sure. i agree it is a racket. you can't just make a pine box anymore to put someone in... you HAVE to go through a mortuary.

[liberal N proud]

11. These stories pain me

Why?

Those who are lucky enough to have don't understand what it is like for those who don't.




:cry:

[Liberal_in_LA]

13. Sad story. Glad they got help with the expense.

[Catherine Vincent]

15. That is so sad!

A few years ago my niece had a young friend that died the day after she gave childbirth. She had no family because she was from a foster home. She was living with her boyfriend and his parents and they were low income. Her boyfriend was nothing but a baby making machine, he had no job but always managed to find a woman that was willing to sleep with him. He had 3 or 4 kids from other women before this one. Anyways, the girl that died (she was only 20) had no immediate family to pay for her burial. So they (city services) kept her in a refrigerator for about a month until the city could bury her at a gravesite for homeless. I was surprised that the family she was living with didn't do anything to help bury her. But that's another story.

[madmom]

16. I told my family to cremate me and do NOT spend good money on a funeral because I will not

know. Use the money for something for the living who will know.

[Libertyfirst]

17. Ive already sign the papers and paid for my cremation. My family agreed.

[csziggy]

32. That's the instructions I have written.

Cremation and if my husband, family and friends want to get together and have a party, wake or memorial, fine - it is up to them since I won't be there.

Actually, if I didn't think my husband would have problems with the law, I'd have just told him to wrap me in a sheet and put my body out in the woods for the critters to take care of. Second choice would be a Tibetan Sky Funeral. But authorities in this country would not be happy with either choice.

So cremation and bury my ashes somewhere inconspicuous. I don't want anyone carrying around my ashes or making some big deal about disposing of them. I think burying them under a nice tree would be good.

[OhioChick]

19. Simply Heartbreaking. n/t

[WI_DEM]

20. I think the funeral industry needs more regulating, too. If people can't afford to pay upfront for

a funeral then something must be worked out.

[rug]

21. His father's right. Melvin Critney will be with me for a long time.

"Funeral Director Hall Davis, IV told them they could save $300 if they dug their own grave."

To see your son die, and to dig his grave because you don't have the $300 . . . .

[Wednesdays]

23. K&R

:kick:

[Arugula Latte]

24. The funeral "industry" needs to be put in its place.

I hope green burials and cremation become ever more popular, and embalming and the casket go the way of the dodo.

[givemebackmycountry]

27. Not anymore...

I heard recently that the largest Health Care company in the US had just bought the largest Funeral Home Chain in the United States.

That's scary like BIG TIME.

[Arugula Latte]

28. Holy sheee-ite...

:wow:

[chatnoir]

29. Whoa... Now that's some creepy x,y,z

Does that not strike everyone as a completely TWISTED conflict of interest?? :scared:

[X_Digger]

25. That's not uncommon in rural areas..

When I got big enough to handle a shovel and pick (and old enough to understand the gravity of the situation) I became part of the circle of guys who would help dig graves for friends and family members in Southwest Virginia.

It wasn't a 'party' per se, but alcohol was present and tall tales were told. Part wake, part somber ceremony, lots of work. One guy with a tape measure, one guy with a broadhead axe to chop roots and smooth the walls of the grave, and a whole crew of pick & shovel boys. Eventually someone's wife or girlfriend would show up with multiple thermoses filled with coffee and a plate of sandwiches. If you ran into rock and had to pull out the feathers and wedges, there'd be shifts of guys working to bust up the rocks.

The only good thing about it was that you knew that when your time came, there'd be a bunch of folks to help your family do the same.

[sammytko]

26. No funeral home required in Texas

You can do it yourself at home - no embalming etc. I do think there is some sort of requirement about how much land has to be around the burial area. I'm having myself cremated and scattered somewhere. Can't decide yet.

[ChromeFoundry]

30. This is so sad...

I cannot imagine losing a child and then having to choose between digging a grave or starving. I'm sure the funeral director poured on the guilt while trying to get him to upgrade to a better quality casket as well.

I've already told my family to cremate my remains or pitch them over a cliff if that costs too much.

[MadMaddie]

34. Folks this is what is happening in America

We have regressed and no one really is talking about it.

We look at the news of the television of 3rd world countries poor digging the graves for their family members and now it is happening here.

Why are burials so expensive? Why must we have insurance to be able to bury someone one?

We have to figure out a better way to do this.

How sad for the family.

A big thank you for the police association that helped them cover the cost of the greedy bastard and the funeral graveyard.