Hey, how about another thread on weight?

[Hello_Kitty]

I'm in sort of an argument on a private forum regarding weight. There was a recent story about a female patient complaining that her eye doctor told her that her she was fat, while poking her in the thigh. The woman I'm arguing with thinks he was a little too blunt but that he shouldn't be disciplined. I think he's a sexist fuckwit (anyone here think he'd poke a fat male patient anywhere?) and think he should get in some trouble. So we've been going back and forth about doctors and others discussing peoples' weight with them with her being of the opinion that fat people need to be made aware of the dangers to their health and me saying that people need to keep their rude observations to themselves (or be a hell of a lot more tactful if they are medical professionals) and that very often discussions of women's weight and "health" are often thinly disguised looksism.

At any rate, I am reminded of an Ann Landers' column I read probably 30 years ago from a woman who was worried about her daughter's weight. The girl was, IIRC, described as being 5'6" and 140 lbs. Landers responded that those proportions didn't sound heavy at all and that - and I'll never forget these words - "no mother ever nagged an ounce of weight off her daughter".

Really. Has anyone ever lost weight because someone badgered them about it? Seems like it tends to have the opposite effect. And with MSM constantly banging on about the OMG OBESITY EPIDEMIC!!1!, is it really possible that there are large numbers of people who are unaware that obesity is considered a health risk and that it's linked with things like diabetes? Seriously, if you really aren't aware of it you have far bigger problems than any lecture from a doctor is going to solve.

I'm 41 and I've been hearing about how fat Americans are and how bad it is and yada yada for at least 25 years now. And it doesn't look like they've managed to nag an ounce of weight off of us, on average.

[flvegan]

1. IMO, most doctors don't know shit about treating obesity.

Unless recommending someone to a specialist about a perceived problem, don't diagnose something you can't properly treat.

I'd like to see a lot more mandatory nutrition training in med school. Matter of fact, I'd like to see a lot more doctors that are also nutritionists.

An eye doctor of all things. :eyes:

[daninthemoon]

2. Much better if the DOCTOR let the woman go without mentioning

that she might have a health problem. He should keep his eyes on the eyes and let the rest of the body rot. Much more professional to stick to his specialty and ignore the rest.

[Hello_Kitty]

3. Poking a female patient in her thighs when you are an eye doctor is so professional.

Here's the story: http://www.handelonthelaw.com/home/news_details.aspx?News=7571

You really want to defend this guy?

[readmoreoften]

48. Hey, you know what? I'm sure she knows she's fat!

What about people with Ph.D.s? They're doctors. Should any "doctor" be able to poke you in the thigh? What about hearing specialists?

[Kali]

4. that doc sounds like an ass, BUT...

I think it is fine for health professionals to discuss potential health issues related to weight with patients. That isn't what I would call nagging.

[Hello_Kitty]

7. Actually, it can be.

Even if you're "right" about something someone should do, you can't badger them into doing it. Especially where weight is concerned.

[Dinger]

43. An Eye Doctor Poking Her In The Thigh?

What about sexual harassment?

[dkf]

5. I'm on south beach phase one and I dropped a pound a day and reached my goal

But I'm pooped and thirsty as heck. And I think I'm supposed to do this for two weeks but I've only been on it for 6 days. Do I stop early? Push it lower than my goal because I've only lost water? Where is the guidance on this stuff?

[woodsprite]

13. I've done that successfully in the past.

Somehow, after I had cancer surgery, I just haven't been able to climb back on the SBD wagon. It did work for me. I lost 35 lbs with that and exercise (walking and doing something called T-tapp). They usually say that if you're unusually tired and thirsty, you should make sure you drink your water and pep up your intake of Phase I beans/chick peas, etc. They have a forum on Prevention mags forums that has advice and tips. It doesn't cost anything, but you do have to register.

Now, over the holidays, I'll see if I can get started back on it. I won't have that horrendous distraction known as work during the 2 wks of phase 1. Maybe I can concentrate on it. :)

I've had docs treat me with lack of respect due to being heavy. I haven't done anything except to let my friends know they are not the best choice, and I take my business elsewhere. Like I taught my daughter when she was 7yo and the damned dentist held his hand over her mouth because she was crying - you're the consumer and they are selling you their product. If you don't like their bedside manner, walk out and hit 'em where it counts - in the pocketbook. We did on that one, but my hubby continued to go to their office since it was close to work. So much for making a point. He could have lost 3 accounts, instead, he only lost 2. The dentist did say that they wouldn't transfer files. Luckily, I didn't have anything that important done there and neither had my daughter.

[FarCenter]

19. Losing a pound a day is impractical or unhealthy for almost all people

OK, if you are a world class bicyclist, triathlete, football player in camp, lumberjack, etc,. you can do it.

But a pound of fat is about 3500 calories, so to burn 3500 more calories than you take in would require metabolising above 4000 calories / day. Which is a LOT of physical exercise.

A pound a week, which is a deficit of 500 calories per day can be done with moderate exercise while eating a healthy, nutrient-filled diet.

[Hello_Kitty]

24. It's mostly water weight and it will come back the minute you eat normally again. eom

[dkf]

40. Is it water weight that expands my fat?

I swear i am drinking more water than ever before and the fat around my stomach and under my arms is a lot smaller

[Skittles]

38. don't do diets, that is my advice

they suck

[dustbunnie]

6. That doctor is over the age of 70. Perhaps that has something to do with his crankiness.

The fat poking wasn't the whole story. He also berated her for being unemployed and pregnant again within less than a year. It was wrong for him to tell this woman the truth that her poor eyesight could be greatly exacerbated by the diabetes caused by overweight but he's basically said he doesn't care if they take away his license, so maybe he's just had it altogether with people and should move on to something else. And from some of the observations given by a journalist who interviewed him, he does sound like he'd have no probs laying into a man either.

Those PSAs about weight do get people to do something about their health, and since we are no longer taught about our bodies in school, the only places to get this info is off the teevee or mags and books. Particularly young people. Maybe after 25 years you're blase about it, but some young people may save themselves a lifetime of unhealthy living.

[Hello_Kitty]

8. The article doesn't say she has diabetes.

The doctor used the diabetes/eyesight link later to justify his behavior toward her.

You think all the PSA's and news stories about obesity the past 25 years are doing good? How so? Has the obesity rate gone down or up?

[daninthemoon]

9. My obesity rate has generally gone up.

[dustbunnie]

12. The doctor was quoted as having told her this:

"He admitted he told the patient that thick eyeglasses would not cause her to go blind 'but her thick thighs and diabetes would.'

"I poked her thigh to emphasize that diabetes is the leading cause of blindness," he said Thursday. "People have got to accept criticism without getting their bowels in an uproar."

Doesn't sound like he put any kind of spin on it.

As far as the PSAs and studies I don't think I'll go so far as to google a bunch of stuff. But I'll say that they helped me. And I now own a portion of a health club. Most of the people who come through our doors are concerned about their health/weight based on what they've read or heard. Particularly in the last few years with the obesity explosion. Either that, or their doctors have put the fear of God into them.

Obesity is on the rise, and we all know why... but at least people know what they can do to change that, if they wish. When it comes to health, ignorance is not bliss.

[Hello_Kitty]

21. The article does not state the woman has diabetes

The comment the doctor made could be interpreted to mean she has diabetes but it's too ambiguous. "Her thick thighs and diabetes" is not the same as "her thick thighs and her diabetes".

While we're on the topic of thighs, it's pretty well known that the weight we women tend to accumulate on our hips and thighs poses very little risk to our health. It's abdominal fat that causes the danger in both men and women. And the doctor is an idiot if he doesn't know that.

[dustbunnie]

29. I agree the doctor was out of bounds with his comment.

But as I said, a possible excuse might be his age. Maybe he needs to retire.

I didn't take his comments to mean he knew she had diabetes. Possibly she asked a question about "thick glasses" or maybe it was a spontaneous outburst. But there is a correlation between overweight and diabetes, and diabetes does cause blindness. There's nothing wrong with letting a patient know this.

Yeah, the thigh and tush fat is the best kind health wise, but we have no idea whether that's the only place she had it. She may have a big tummy as well, but he thought better of poking her there. Usually when I have an eye exam, there's one portion of it where my doc is sitting close, opposite me. It would be nothing for him to lean forward and poke me in the thigh.

[nickinSTL]

10. completely agree

this was abusive, IMO.

IF the doc thought it was necessary to say something, as an eye doctor, he should have limited his comments to an observation on her weight/diabetes/eye health.

My dad was on me my entire childhood/teen years about my weight.

My experience was that my weight was partly due to self-esteem problems, and "nagging" about it had the opposite of the desired effect - as the nagging just made the self-esteem issues worse.

I know now that my weight problem was probably exacerbated by a medical problem, as well.

The doc went outside what should be acceptable behavior. Period.

[Hello_Kitty]

14. Giving a kid a complex about his/her weight is almost a guarantee of later problems.

And yet I still see parents and grandparents shaming and humiliating kids.

[daninthemoon]

44. OK, there are kids with weight that is absolutely not a problem, is even

a healthy part of growth. There are other kids and even more adults with weight problems that are directly health problems. I was a skinny kid, but am now2 a technichally obese adult. I thing the number guidelines are too stiff, but I know I feel incredbly better when I manage to get rid of ten to twenty pounds. Weight is a serious health indicator and causes great harm. A doctor, however ill-mannered he may have been (and I do agree he didn't handle this quite right), is 100% correct and doing exactly the right thingto call attention to weight as a health issue. It feels like nagging and condescension, but fat is fat.

[endless october]

11. my successful weight loss started with a doctor's visit.

my doctor was really cool about it. he basically just said, "we might want to look at your weight here." he took my blood sugar and informed me i was pre-diabetic. at that point, i said screw this and lost a little over 100 pounds in the years after.

so nobody was a jerk about it, but my doctor and a couple other people made comments, so i was done being overweight.

[Hello_Kitty]

15. Really? You were a hundred pounds overweight and people had to alert you to it?

I can see you not knowing about the pre-diabetes but the 100 excess pounds? Not trying to be a dick or anything but, really?

[bobbolink]

17. "Not trying to be a dick or anything "

:rofl:

That's why you started the whole thread, isn't it?

To get your weekly bashing fix?

[Hello_Kitty]

18. Did you even read my OP?

Where was the bashing in there, other than of the rude eye doctor who poked a female patient in her thigh to tell her she was too fat? And seriously, if you weighed 100lbs more than what was "normal" for your height, you wouldn't be aware of it? That's not a judgment on the weight. It's a statement on your awareness.

[bobbolink]

20. Yup, sure did. I thought it was a pretty good setup.

Sure enough, I wasn't disappointed.

Do have fun.

[Hello_Kitty]

22. For what?

I'm saying people know how much they weigh and don't need busybodies lecturing them about it.

You're the one who never disappoints because you find a way to get outraged over just about anything. It's getting really tired, bobbolink. Put me on ignore, please.

[bobbolink]

23. "and don't need busybodies lecturing them about it. "

And yet.... you went right ahead.

Like I said, nice setup.

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[endless october]

26. i was actually 90 pounds overweight.

yeah, i knew it, but the doctor's visit is what woke me up to the fact that i had really let myself go.

sometimes you need someone to kick you into action. especially if you're in denial enough to be 90 pounds overweight and still getting bags of doritos every night.

i weigh every morning now and keep a food diary. will not go back to being overweight. it sucked.

*edit for spelling error

[Hello_Kitty]

30. Never say never.

I have to admit you are right that a person's comment can spur you to make changes, though not necessarily good ones. Back in 1999 I went on a date with a guy from work I had a major crush on. During our lunch he made a comment about how I was "thick". I was probably about 155lbs at the time at 5'7" and worked out quite a bit. I don't even know if he meant it in a bad way but I decided he meant that I was fat and since I really liked him I threw myself even more into working out and limiting my food intake. It worked. I got down to about 130lbs (very slim for me since I have a stocky muscular build) and looked fantastic. I maintained it for about a year or so by following a vigorous workout schedule that was essentially a part-time job and watching every morsel of food that entered my mouth.

Today, I'm 178lbs and hardly ever go to the gym. I realize I'm fortunate in that I'm only about 30lbs overweight, which is a far cry from 100lbs. I want to get back into working out as soon as I can afford a gym membership again but I'm not going to overdo it.

[dustbunnie]

33. BTW... being called "thick" is mostly a compliment.

When a guy says a woman is thick he usually means she's got a nice booty and is you-know-what-able.

If you don't believe me... here you go.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=thick

[Hello_Kitty]

34. Yeah, I know, but you had to be there.

This particular guy, who I made the mistake of getting into a horrible relationship with for two years (though we've made peace and are friends now) was a master at the "backhanded compliment". And he liked me more after I lost the weight.

[dustbunnie]

37. Ahhh... I get it!

I've known one or two guys like that... it's almost passive aggressive. At least he's been shooed away to the friend level... :)

[readmoreoften]

46. Was he your eye doctor? How about your ear piercer? Can she call you fat?

If my eye doctor poked me--he should not be TOUCHING my thighs by the way--I'd leave and never come back. And mention it in the waiting room.

[MichaelHarris]

16. I'm fat but loosing weight

I can't wait til I get thin enough to make fun of fat people.

[Brickbat]

27. The thigh poke is beyond.

He'd never to do that to a man.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

28. Geez do we have to pound this again?? n/t

[Hello_Kitty]

31. Yes.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

39. "Pound this again" get it? pound this?? heh! n/t

[L0oniX]

32. ...---...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/04/obese-man-on-american-air_n_379979.html



How would you like to have your seat encroached? Do you think the people could get out of the aircraft in an emergency as quickly with this guy in the aisle? How is a steward supposed to move a food and drink cart down the aisle?

[Hello_Kitty]

36. Your point?

Do you think he doesn't know he's fat? Do you think his eye doctor poking him in his thigh or belly will do the trick?

[L0oniX]

45. Do you enjoy mind reading?

[TexasObserver]

35. The eye doctor was out of line. He was hired to examine her eyes.

Of course, there may be more to the story than meets the eye. Could there be any reason he would bring up her weight because of its potential impact on her vision? I'd want to know that.

Assuming the story is factually accurate, however, and not simply being twisted by one who is trying to make a case for civil damages, the doctor was out of line. Should he be disciplined for it? I don't think so. It was rude, and his exposure for rudeness is his penalty.

[laughingliberal]

41. Unsolicited advice is rarely effective even from a doctor

I was at a doctor's visit with my husband's cardiologist some years back. He was talking to my husband about quitting smoking. Then, he looked at me and said, "and you need to quit, too." I was not a patient of his and I am an RN. So, I said, "Well, as long as we're passing around medical advice to people not under our care, you could lose a few, Bud."

[donheld]

42. The Weight

I pulled into Nazareth
I was feelin' bout a half past dead (dead)
I just need some place
Where I can lay my head (head)
Hey mister can you tell me where a girl might find a bed??
(Can ya tell me?)
He just grinned and shook my hand
And 'no' was all he said

Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fannie
Then hey-yea-yea
Put the weight on me!

I picked up my bag
I went lookin' for a place to hide
When I saw Carmen and the devil
Walkin' side by side
I said hey Carmen
Come on let's go down town?
She said 'I gotta go but my friend can stick around!

Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fannie
Then hey, an yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
(Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo)

Go down Moses
There's nothin' that-a you can say
(Ooo-ooo)
It's just like old Luke waitin'
Waitin' for the judgement day
(Woo-ooo)
Well Luke my friend
What about Annalee?
(Doo-ooo-ooo)
He said 'Do me a favor'
'Stay and keep Annalee some company'

(Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fannie)
Well-ell yeah
Put the weight on me

(Yeah-yeah-yeah)
Catch me a cannonball
And now take me on down the line
(Yeah)
My bag is sinking low
I believe that it's about time
(You said it girl)
To get in touch with Fannie
You know she's the one
(Yeah)
Who sent me here
with her regards for everyone
Yeah!

(Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
FADES-
Take a load off Fannie
Take a load...

[readmoreoften]

47. Yeah. An eye doctor would poke a MAN's thigh. Likely story.

And, yeah, treating grown women like children is sexist. Because that's what poking someone in the thigh is doing: displaying dominance.

[Kitty Herder]

49. Shame is a poor motivator.

Unless we're talking about the motivation to drown our sorrows in Ben and Jerry's. Then it works great.

An eye-doctor has NO business poking a patient in the thigh. I hope word gets out about that asshole and he loses business as a result.