So if you are the parent of a teenaged daughter who has a date with Levi

[Cleita]

Johnson or a young man with the same reputation, would you take her to get birth control pills, and buy her some condoms besides before she goes on a date? I would. My friends disagree with me saying it would be encouraging them to have sex. Those of you with teenaged daughters, what do you think?

[rucky]

1. From what I know about teenagers...

maybe the best way to keep them from having sex is for parents to encourage it?

[shraby]

2. As an old saying reminds us...preparation is all.

[Taverner]

3. The pill, condoms and gift certificats for taxi services

[sui generis]

4. well, not JUST for Levi, but for any date.

And condoms, not birth control, because preggers isn't the worst thing you can get from unprotected sex.

Plus a three hour long lecture to her with white board, power point presentation, laser pointer, written exam, and a film camera rolling through the entire episode.

[YOY]

5. My daughter will never date a "Levi".

Intelligent women with self-esteem seldom date dipshits.

As the male role model in her life I will do my utmost to assure that she avoids the "bad boy" dumb-as-rocks jock type.

Just like her mommy did.

Yeah, I know teens don't do what their parents say and strong control only breeds rebellion.

But I'm not a strong controller. I'm a strong influence.

[murielm99]

20. Do your utmost. But some girls date bad boys anyway.

I did. If my parents forbade it, I sneaked out.

I had the sense not to marry a bad boy. I think the rebellion was a phase. Anyway, it wore off by the time I went to college.

I told my girls that when they needed birth control, we would visit the doctor. If they needed condoms, I would buy a box and place it in their upstairs bathroom. No questions asked.

My son was provided with condoms too, if he needed them. My husband talked to him about responsibility, but he had a firsthand experience that helped quite a bit.

One of his friends, who is a good kid and responsible, got a girl pregnant when they were in high school. He supports the child, who is now about ten years old. He is proud of his son, and is a big part of the boy's life. Even if this young man had not wanted to be responsible, his family would have seen to it that he did his part. That is who they are.

But the girl who became pregnant is a stupid, stupid creature. I haven't seen any growth in her over the last ten years, either. I asked my son to think about it. If he was ever tempted to have sex without using birth control, he could end up with an STD. Or, he could end up with someone like this clueless girl as the mother of his child. His friend is now stuck with dealing with this girl for the rest of his life.

[jaxx]

6. I agree with you, I would....and did.

She says today that the openness about birth control is what made a difference for her.

[Donnachaidh]

7. I'd grab HIM and crazyglue a condom on his winkie

Again -- WHY is it always put on the women? Men can't be responsible because a high sperm count shorts out their brains? Is that excusable?

And realistically, I would NOT allow my kid to date a known poonhound. Hell, my kid would turn down the jerk.

[Warpy]

11. Or chloroform him

and have him wake up with a tiny little snip in the pipe leading from his scrotum to the rest of his anatomy. It's not like he hasn't already bred.

[xchrom]

8. Good girls vs bad boys?

My mother -- 100. Years old now - was a divorced woman when she married my dad.

His parents tried bad mouth my mother up and down
Because she was a bad girl and he was a good boy.

I find observations like archaic and useless.

[Cleita]

12. No, it's not.

But since it's the girl who gets pregnant it seems she should be warned and prepared. Teenaged boys should be too, but they often aren't. Actually, I'm not even blaming Levi here. He was brought up by a mother on drugs so probably didn't get the parenting he should have.

[xchrom]

26. how judgmental of you and yes it is a kind of good vs bad with you.

bristol or the possible other girl aren't better than levi -- and my guess is he didn't talk his way into
anybodys pants.
you wouldn't have phrased your comments in your op if you weren't.

i haven't met many girls who weren't just as randy as any boy.
and humans tend to be very fallible in the heat of the moment.

[Cleita]

33. My apologies for not getting to you sooner.

First, I never mentioned Bristol.

Second, my post had to do with parents options, not how randy the teens were.

Third, how dare you!

Fourth, I may know a lot more about the family issues here than you may suspect.

[Warpy]

9. I'd lay in a supply of Plan B

and make sure she knows how to use it.

By the time he asks her out, it's too late for the pill. We know he's too selfish to wear a condom. As for my "permission" to have sex, no teenager has ever asked for that. They just do it. It's our job to make sure they have the knowledge that it doesn't ruin their lives.

Knowing all the messy mechanics of birth control kept me from sex until I was out of high school. I'm convinced it will work that way for other kids, too. Exposure to an infant with colic is also a great disincentive.

However, it's not under our control. All we can do is provide them the tools to survive it.

[Cleita]

14. That's my thoughts too.

Parents can bring all this to the table but it's up to the kid to do it, but if you don't even do the work of getting them protected from pregnancy and STDs because you think it will encourage them to have sex, I believe is not going to lead to a good outcome.

[Warpy]

23. Yeah, it usually leads to a baby

because parents who never talked to a daughter about birth control are likely the type of parents who won't be trusted with the bad news until it's too late for an abortion.

[Ozymanithrax]

10. The talk should happen long before she gets that date with Levi...

Because teenagers do not need encouragement to have sex.
And the preassure to have sex is happening much earlier.

There comes a time when you can no longer protect them,
You can only prepare them.

[USArmyParatrooper]

13. I would have seen his facebook page and said, "no fucking way you're going out with him"

That being said I would have previously talked to her about STD's and condoms.

[nykym]

15. We have repeatedley

used the phrase "NO GLOVE - NO LOVE" with our daughter. It seems to have worked. I know this for obvious reasons while emptying the trash LOL. Seriously, it will happen no matter how hard you try to make it not happen - so it is better to have prepared them than to have not. We cannot control everything our offspring do but we can give them solid advice and hope it makes an impact.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

22. TMI.

WTMI.

[Warren DeMontague]

16. Um, he's an adult. How old is the "teenaged daughter" supposed to be?

If she's an adult, too, then presumably we've already had all our parent-child talks on the matter and she can figure out her own decisions about sexuality. If she's not an adult, what's she doing going on a date with Levi Johnston? :shrug:

[Yavin4]

17. Chastity Belt

and throw away the key.

[Edweird]

18. I'm a fan of the IUD - no hormones nothing to remember.

That being said STD's are a very real concern HPV,HSV and HIV are all forever.

[jaysunb]

19. I don't think it works that way anymore....

Parents don't seem to know what their kids are doing when they leave home, and from what I can tell w/ my grandkids, nobody comes knocking on the door. They just "hookup" at some undisclosed location.

Times have changed...

[Cairycat]

21. My husband and I were always very frank about the need for

contraception for people having sex who didn't want to make babies. All of our kids have heard this message in any conversation about sex we've had. (Good thing, because there is zero discussion of contraception in the schools' sex ed - :mad:.)

I don't agree with her choices 100% but our daughter hasn't gotten pregnant, and has even felt comfortable enough to have me go to Planned Parenthood with her - I'm glad she hasn't felt like she's needed to keep everything hush, hush and secret from us.

It wasn't always easy talking about these things, but I'd rather be embarrassed than be a grandma too soon.

[postulater]

24. My wife is a Certified Nurse Midwife. She sees pregnant teens all the time.

For our daughters we have condoms available, they are welcome to take them to friends also. My wife has made herself available for helping any of our daughters' friends who need counseling and even their parents who need help dealing with the situation.

Our daughters are very responsible we keep them very busy with activities and we have had not had the need to forbid or restrict their activities or friendships. Open discussion has been effective for us.

Still paranoid though.

[JVS]

25. I'd tell her that she's grounded for deciding to date such a horrible fucking loser.

[cynatnite]

27. Teenagers do not need permission to have sex...

They're going to do it whether we like it or not. I raised two daughters and educated them accordingly. They got birth control when they felt they needed it.

I asked my mother for birth control and I got that same speech. It would be giving me permission. I had sex anyways. It did nothing to prevent me.

[beam me up scottie]

28. Don't ask my friend who just left her sexually active/unprotected 15yo by herself for a week.

I am so angry I could spit nails. Friend went to the city for some r&r with her mother, both of whom got pregnant and became lousy teenage mothers. Friend doesn't know who her own father is and constantly complains about her kid's deadbeat drunk of a father.

How do you reason with someone whose daughter (who has been lectured about safe sex for years) had her first sexual encounter last summer, (unprotected), didn't tell her mother about it for three months, but has promised to "be a good girl" even though she has been dating an 18yo who already pressured her into having oral sex?

Friend hasn't put this kid on the pill but says she will when kid asks for it, won't have her vaccinated against HPV because she's heard bad things about it, and won't buy a Plan B kit to keep in the house.

Oh, both friend and her mother have HPV and both underwent complete hysterectomies in their 30's.

And people think I'm selfish because I've never wanted kids?

[Arkansas Granny]

29. I think you are doing sons and daughters both a disservice if you do not

discuss the dangers of unprotected sex. I don't think it's out of line to make contraceptives available to them when they reach the age that you think they may be sexually active. I don't believe that they need any encouragement to have sex, so the more info they have to protect themselves, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

Even then, they may not take your advice or use contraceptives and wind up pregnant anyway (as was the case with my daughter). Just making something available is no guarantee that they will use it.

[cbdo2007]

30. If she was under 18 she wouldn't be going on a date with him.

[Dorian Gray]

31. I'd talk to them

and try to find out why they felt it necessary to date someone like that. Hopefully convince them that it was a bad idea and they should have more respect for themselves than to date a two-bit idiot like Levi.

Can't forbid teenage love, though.

Kids make mistakes no matter how you handle these situations.

[davsand]

32. My 13 year old has better taste than that.

Sometimes I am just staggered by what a cool kid she is. There is a "Levi-like" guy in her class and she can't STAND the kid or any of the guys that hang with him. She says they are all stupid and jerks to boot. She has her guy and gal pals that she hangs out with and frankly they all seem like pretty good kids that have their heads on straight. How do I know this, you might ask? Because I'm there most of the time and I make it a point to be there and to actually TALK to these kids. I want to know them.

As for sex, maybe I've been too open about it, because she says her attitude is that she's quite happy to put that off until she's an adult. I've always been pretty direct about the fact that even IF you use birth control 100% correctly, you still run a chance of getting pregnant with every method except abstinence. We've also talked about STD's and I have been real direct about the fact that it doesn't matter what the guy looks like on the outside--you just never know--EVERYTHING needs to be wrapped in latex.

She may still surprise me one day, but I sure don't intend to just let her run wild with no information at all.




Laura

[Vickers]

34. I'd take him fishing a few times, and those dates would dry right up. n/t

[Hello_Kitty]

35. I would make sure she was prepared regardless of whom she was dating. eom