The Official DU Jerry Falwell Memorial Thread

[Squatch]

Post your fond memories of Jerry Falwell here.

[liberal N proud]

1. .

[Squatch]

6. Somebody tell those damned crickets to keep it down!!

[dogday]

2. I remember when he cried like a baby and ask

forgiveness for having an affair.... Probably my fondest memory....

[karlrschneider]

That was Jimmy Swaggert

...

[dogday]

10. Uh, I guess I don't have any fond memories then

I get my evangelist mixed up, they all look and sound the same :hi:

[karlrschneider]

12. heehee...ain't that de troof

:D

[KansDem]

14. "...they all look (alike) "

You mean, they all took alike!




edited for HTML coding...

[Arugula Latte]

26. ...

:rofl:

[acmavm]

32. I think they have interchangable parts too.

[Birthmark]

3. I think that at this time...

...it would behoove us all to remember the one good thing about Rev. Falwell: He wasn't Pat Robertson.

I tried.

[BattyDem]

4. Fond memories? Hmmm ...

[devilgrrl]

5. We should post all the positive things he's done for humanity. Here! I'll start!

[in_cog_ni_to]

21. I'm second!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

7. My fondest memory of Falwell was about half an hour ago.

[Squatch]

11. SSSSSNAP!!!

:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

[TankLV]

20. WAY GOOD! Mine too!

The only good thing about Fartwell is that he is finally DEAD...

Now to make him GONE...

[DontTreadOnMe]

8. Best Bumper Sticker -- EVER!

Jerry Falwell, dead at 73, founder of the best bumper sticker of all time.
The Moral Majority is Neither!


from Wikipedia:
Moral Majority got its start out of a bitter battle for control of Christian Voice in 1978. In a news conference by Christian Voice's founder, Robert Grant, he claimed that the Religious Right was a "sham... controlled by three Catholics and a Jew." Paul Weyrich, Terry Dolan, Richard Viguerie and Howard Phillips left Christian Voice. In a 1979 meeting, they urged televangelist Jerry Falwell to found Moral Majority. This was also the birth of the New Christian Right.

[melody]

9. I have no memory of him eating any live baby squirrels

At least, I don't think so.

[riverwalker]

31. actually....

no wait, that was rabbits, live baby bunnies, with Tabasco sauce.

[vireo]

33. How about a dead cat?

There were times that Dad's pranks bordered on cruelty. One of his oil company workers, a one-legged man he nicknamed "Crip" Smith, complained about everything. Dad and Crip's co-workers got tired of the old man's bellyaching and decided to take revenge. One morning Crip called in sick and Dad volunteered to send by lunch to his grateful but suspicious employee. Dad and his chums caught Crip's old black tomcat, killed it, skinned it, and cooked it in the kitchen of one of Dad's little restaurants. They called it squirrel meat and delivered it to Crip on a linen-covered tray. When Crip returned to work the next morning, Dad and his co-conspirators asked him how he liked his meal. They knew he would complain even about a free home-cooked lunch, and when Crip called it "the toughest squirrel meat" he had ever eaten, they were glad to tell him why.

More heartwarming reminiscences here: http://lippard.blogspot.com/2006/04/jerry-falwells-cat-killing-story.html

[keithjx]

13. To quote Flogging Molly

When ya get to heaven may the devil be your judge.
KJ

[Flying Dream Blues]

15. Exactly...his journey to truth has just begun! nt

[I_Will]

24. I never imagined seeing a Flogging Molly reference here :)

[Left Is Write]

16. This is what I have to say about Falwell.

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

[Jed Dilligan]

17. Here's mine:

You call yourself the Moral Majority
We call ourselves the people in the real world
Trying to rub us out, but we're going to survive
God must be dead if you're alive

You say, 'God loves you. Come and buy the Good News'
Then you buy the president and swimming pools
If Jesus don't save 'til we're lining your pockets
God must be dead if you're alive

Circus-tent con-men and Southern belle bunnies
Milk your emotions then they steal your money
It's the new dark ages with the fascists toting bibles
Cheap nostalgia for the Salem Witch Trials

Stodgy ayatollahs in their dobble-knit ties
Burn lots of books so they can feed you their lies
Masturbating with a flag and a bible
God must be dead if you're alive

Blow it out your ass, Jerry Falwell
Blow it out your ass, Jesse Helms
Blow it out your ass, Ronald Reagan
What's wrong with a mind of my own?

You don't want abortions, you want battered children
You want to ban the pill as if that solves the problem
Now you wanna force us to pray in school
God must be dead if you're such a fool

You're planning for a war with or without Iran
Building a police state with the Ku Klux Klan
Pissed at your neighbour? Don't bother to nag
Pick up the phone and turn in a fag

Blow it out your ass, Terry Dolan
Blow it out your ass, Phyllis Schlafly
Ram it up your cunt, Anita
Cos God must be dead
If you're alive
God must be dead
If you're alive

-Dead Kennedys, 1986

[in_cog_ni_to]

18. Today is a good day for the human race. The world is now a little bit better.

Good riddance and I hope you pay for all the evil things you did while you were alive.

:bounce::party::woohoo:

[insane_cratic_gal]

19. When he called tinky winky gay

for carrying a purse, being purple and having an antenna on his head. Revealing himself as the biggest idiot on the earth.

Can I mention that? I have little tolerance for those who encourage blanketed hate over one sect of people who just so happen to love another human being, I don't care what equipment they have.

[Scooter24]

22. Falwell on 9-11

JERRY FALWELL: And I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we've been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters -- the Husseins, the Bin Ladens, the Arafats -- what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact -- if, in fact -- God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

PAT ROBERTSON: Jerry, that's my feeling. I think we've just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven't even begun to see what they can do to the major population.
JERRY FALWELL: The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.

PAT ROBERTSON: Well yes.

JERRY FALWELL: And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, I totally concur,

[SoCalDem]

23. a prayer/poem for jerry F

Dear Lord, please accept your child with open arms

We bow our heads in prayer

His job here on earth is done, with all its harms

He piled on the hate,, layer by layer

if only he could be clasping hands with his dear friend Pat, as he greets you

Treat him the same way he treated people here on earth.. with that sharp mouth

in other words.. Say "Howdy", hug him, and send that boy south.

[Arugula Latte]

28. Very nice!

...but your egg disturbed me... :D

[underpants]

29. Author! Author!

:applause:

[Ezlivin]

25. Falwell: Never missed a meal for Jesus

"Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." (Proverbs 23:20-21)

"He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father." (Proverbs 28:7)

"Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony." (Proverbs 23:2)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. he died. making the world that much nicer.

[tishaLA]

30. I Remember When He Accused Pres. Clinton of...

drug smuggling and involvement in the death of Vince Foster. And he interviewed a silhouetted journalist who said he feared for his life because Pres Clinton had been involved in the murders of other journalists who got too close to the truth.

And then I remember that the "journalist" was revealed to be the film's producer, who said that Falwell set up the whole thing for dramatic effect.

[azmouse]

34. I'll remember him spreading hatred and fear.

And based on that, I'll do my best to forget him. He's not worth remembering.

[Labors of Hercules]

35. You will be in heaven, Jerry,

For as long as it takes for every good person you labelled a "Godless sinner" to say goodbye in their own special way... (staplers and pliers will be provided at no cost).

Then, when all the fun is over, you will commence your eternity in a beautiful swimming pool filled to the rim with champagne... and double edged razorblades. Enjoy! :evilgrin: