Man Already Knows Everything He Needs to Know About Muslims

[joeybee12]

SALINA, KS—Local man Scott Gentries told reporters Wednesday that his deliberately limited grasp of Islamic history and culture was still more than sufficient to shape his views of the entire Muslim world.

Gentries, 48, said he had absolutely no interest in exposing himself to further knowledge of Islamic civilization or putting his sweeping opinions into a broader context of any kind, and confirmed he was "perfectly happy" to make a handful of emotionally charged words the basis of his mistrust toward all members of the world's second-largest religion.

"I learned all that really matters about the Muslim faith on 9/11," Gentries said in reference to the terrorist attacks on the United States undertaken by 19 of Islam's approximately 1.6 billion practitioners. "What more do I need to know to stigmatize Muslims everywhere as inherently violent radicals?"

"And now they want to build a mosque at Ground Zero," continued Gentries, eliminating any distinction between the 9/11 hijackers and Muslims in general. "No, I won't examine the accuracy of that statement, but yes, I will allow myself to be outraged by it and use it as evidence of these people's universal callousness toward Americans who lost loved ones when the Twin Towers fell."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou,17990/

Sadly, the Onion is no longer about parody, but reports real news it seems!

[Angry Dragon]

1. I read your post and did not realize

it was the Onion until I got to the end.

How sad satire meshes so well with the truth

[FSogol]

2. The Onion has reported real news since 1/17/2001 when they published this gem

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

January 17, 2001 | ISSUE 43•01 ISSUE 37•01

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."


http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros,464/

[joeybee12]

3. I'd forgotten that...it was way too true...

...they saw what was coming with the Squatter's reign of terror.

[joeybee12]

4. Vanity kick!

:kick:

[Turborama]

5. "I learned all that I need to know about Islam on 9/11" I heard a loon actually say this just now

In New Left Media's latest video, from 9 minutes 30 seconds in: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x500210