Were you ever bullied in school?

[cynatnite]

When I was in grade school there was a boy named Randy. He used to go after my cousin and I regularly. He was a big kid and we were both very afraid of him. One time, he had his hands around my cousin's neck. I pushed him off of her. I don't recall much of him after that, but I'll never forget the fear we both had of him. We still talk about it sometimes and this happened during the 70s.

Do you have a story?

[Liberal_in_LA]

1. Yes, Pushed around, literally, by a larger girl. One day I pushed back

based on instructions from my mom. Teacher happened to be looking and I got scolded.

[bluestateguy]

2. Yes. But plenty of other kids had it worse than me

I noticed that the bullying tapered off after I started growing some muscle after hitting the gym in 7th/8th grade.

[hlthe2b]

3. As a pre-teen there was (believe it or not) a FEMALE bully...

very tall for her age and athletic. She had her group of sycophantic, much smaller boys who packed with her to go after nearly everyone else. She was unconscionable.

I fortunately was in a position to largely ignore and avoid her... So, bullying is not simply a male pursuit, lest anyone holds that notion.

[virgogal]

4. I was verbally abused but this was way, way back. I was just told

to ignore it yet here it is 65 years later and I still remember it.

After middle school I never laid eyes on that jerk again.

[whathehell]

5. Hell, yeah.

Story at 11.

[BootinUp]

6. does being tossed in a dumpster

by 4 or 5 guys count?

I think it was after that I started fighting back with much more intensity. It seemed to help.

[MineralMan]

Only once. When I was a freshman in HS, the school bully

sucker-punched me in the back of the head. I countered with the heel of my hand to the point of his jaw, starting from a crouching position. He was laughing at me and not guarding himself. His jaw got wired shut. Never got bullied again by anyone.

[Rebubula]

134. Yup...

...usually all it takes.

[tinrobot]

7. Bullied by half the kids in my class

I was seriously harassed and bullied all through junior high. When I walked down the halls, every other boy would punch my arm as hard as he could. It was like walking through a gauntlet. My arms were literally purple with bruises from all the physical abuse. There were lots of other forms bullying directed at me as well.

How does one kid fight against half the school? Not sure, but I learned how to become anonymous and invisible after that. I'm sure it also contributed to the depression I suffered for the first two decades of my adult life.

[RainDog]

8. yes. in elementary school

4, 5, 6th grades. two girls who tried to recruit other girls to follow me around and harass me, which some did. they asked the classroom, more than one year (we were in a g/t program that allowed a lot of freedoms) to divide into who liked and who hated me. they wrote and called me to say mean things... for three years and for part of a fourth year, when I was no longer at the same school.

I hate them to this day.

I didn't fight back and wish I had. But I thought I was being "good" to not fight back.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. Yes, constantly from toddlerhood through graduating high school. Mostly it

was just verbal taunting, but there were times people through rocks. The three worst times were: 1) getting thrown on the ground and being spit in the face, 2) being forced to drop my drawers and getting whipped with blackberry brambles, and 3) getting chased down by an ATV.

I realized that although it was mainly the fault of the kids who were doing it (even ones who were younger than me!) it took until college to realize that I was wearing a "victimize me" sign over my head, because people were starting to give me a hard time there too. I developed my sense of humor as a defense and that helped some. It wasn't until I got diagnosed as bipolar 2 a couple of years ago that I realized a lot of my odd behavior was chemically driven.

[Caliman73]

90. that is harsh. sorry about your treatment.

I remember this kid, he was young but very smart. He was l2 or 13 and in my sophomore class. He was nerdy and wore clothing that could get you picked on in high school. He would get picked on pretty regularly by this one person in our class. One day this guy was picking on him and he came back with a very witty comeback. I was laughing as were others in the class, but the bully didn't like it and pushed him over some desks and spit on him a couple of times. That was the worst thing I had seen and I couldn't take that kind of abuse. I grabbed the bully and threw him against the wall. I picked him up and was ready to punch the crap out of him but other people stepped in and separated us. I was so mad tears were streaming down my face. I got detention for about a week. I told the guy if I ever saw him giving the kid grief again I would finish what I started. I can't stand people who bully others.

[GreenPartyVoter]

111. Thank you for standing up for him. I wish every victim had someone who was

willing to step in like that. :hug:

[Caliman73]

127. I couldn't help it.

My dad taught me never to bully anyone. He taught me to fight but warned me that if I ever used it to bully, there would be heck to pay. I did the same for my eldest son. He can box pretty well, but he is a very gentle soul.

[Saphire]

10. not physically... verbal bullies.

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. Yes, oh yes

by class mates... who once hid my crutches in the boy's bathroom... of course I was the problem.

Or the thumbtack on my seat, I still remember the pain of the damn thing going into my knee. but hey, I was the problem.

I could even name names. To this day if I see them on the street, I will cross to the other side, and in Mexico City I just avoid them.

OF course there is the kid who started pushing me around on the buss line, and I defended myself... of course I had to go see the principal.

Want me to go on?

And yes in the ironic or karma department, one of the kids that did that became my patient years later. I was professional, treated her to the best of my ability and top standards. Once I got the signature from the docs, I even helped them understand why we could not transport to the US... and why she needed to have an emergency C Section. Fun Times I tell you.

Yes baby and mom survived... not that they understood because we gave top of the line care...

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. Yes.

We had some real bad actors (so many most teachers turned a blind eye) and most of them quit school the minute they turned 16.

I often wondered where they wound up. Most were destined to be life's losers. One did become a career police officer with a good reputation, much to my surprise.

[MinneapolisMatt]

13. Yes.

n/t

[treestar]

14. In a minor fashion, occasionally

I remember one little asshole kicking me from a seat behind mine. In Junior high, "mean girls" making fun of my clothes. That type of thing.

[Drale]

15. I was bullied constantly

first for stupid little things, then for being a "geek". But I've had the last laugh, the two people who bullied me the most are in prison, one for armed robbery and one for murder.

[Shell Beau]

16. No, I wasn't, but I am proud to say that my parents always told

me to stand up to bullies. Even if it wasn't directed at me. And I did. I never cared if the kid wasn't cool, or if everyone picked on them, I was friendly to everyone (unless they were ugly to me). And I am not bragging, but that is something I will instill as best I can in my child. Be kind to everyone. EVERYONE.

[SocialistLez]

17. Who hasn't been bullied?

I'll never forget when this guy screamed "DYKE" at me a few times in gym class and the teachers didn't do a damn thing about it.

[Initech]

18. From middle school through high school. Hated every second of it.

[MotorCityMan]

123. Same here. Six HORRIBLE years.

Middle school was the worst. For various reasons; I was seen as queer because of the people I hung around with (they were right about that), I was in band so I was a "band fag"; the biggest reason, though, that still shocks me, was that I was a good student and got good grades. I was never a show-off or bragged about it, either. I regularly kept my mouth shut in class to not be seen as a know-it-all teacher's pet. I was regularly told how much I was hated by some for that reason. Hell of a thing to hear when you're 13.

I've had rocks thrown at me, eggs thrown at me, pushed of my bike (with 20 pounds of newspapers slung over my neck), lots of verbal abuse, and shoved into lockers.

I was so happy graduate it was ridiculous.

[Initech]

145. If I ever ran into the people who bullied me in high school I don't know what I'd do.

I like seriously dread that day. But they say the best revenge is living well. And that is what I'm trying to do.

[Mefistofeles]

19. Yes. Bullies should be given harsh punishment

I was a skinny good boy so it was easy to pick on me. I think bullies should be punished and sometimes, if they physically hurt other kids without provocation, they should go to some kind of juvenile jail for 6 months or so.

Jail time should be considered for bullies 13 and up. A 13 year old kid is old enough to realize you don't fuck with other people for no reason.

[mediaman007]

20. Just as bad: Worrying about being bullied!

[jimlup]

21. Yes, I guy named Doug Collard

He eventually dropped out of school at 16.

[seabeyond]

22. no. in middle school a couple days an older girl was. my brother beat up her younger brother

i didnt know for years.... i liked the brother and felt so so so bad. but my brother didnt believe in hitting girls and no one was allowed to bully me...

i dont consider it being bullied in school, just one b long the way

[Luciferous]

63. My brother was bullied a lot in junior high. He was very small for

his age and there was a group of kids who used to attack him on the bus. The bus driver never did anything about it, so one day I told them to leave him alone and one of the boys called me a whore. I stood up and beat his ass with my science book. I then looked at the rest of them and told them that if they had anything else to say, they could take it up with me when we got off the bus. After that they left both of us alone, but my brother was pretty pissed off about it. I guess he didn't like me fighting his battles for him :shrug:

[seabeyond]

64. ya know... dont mess with a sibling.

funny story though.

[ixion]

23. Everyday up until 9th grade

At the beginning of that year, I stood up to 3 of the biggest bullies in the school. Never had a problem after that.

[Odin2005]

24. Lots of verbal bullying, very little physical bullying.

[raccoon]

100. Same here.

A better question would be, Who WASN'T bullied in school?

DOn't know whether to LOL or :cry:

[X_Digger]

25. Bullied, no.. but my mouth got me in trouble a lot. n/t

[alcibiades_mystery]

26. I don't even think I understand what many of you describe as bullying

Where I grew up, basically all the boys had to fight at times, from probably third grade through high school. I guess some guys didn't, or ran away or whatever, but that was just the way it was. I think so many people were "trained" early to fight that something like constant bullying either didn't exist, or it was off my radar, since people didn't really want to be associated with those who didn't fight. The way it was, sometimes you fought and won, sometimes you fought and lost, sometimes you backed down and had to live with that, until the next fight came up. I can count at least 11 fights I was in during junior high school - and that was just 7th and 8th grade. In high school the fights were more serious, and people banded together to form what I guess the NYPD called "gangs." It was mostly just neighborhood guys sticking up for each other. But by that point we're talking about bats, razors, getting jumped by a crew, and shit like that. Crazy years.

I guess I remember a couple of kids in elementary school who were really quiet or introverted, and generally seemed physically weak, but I don't really remember people fucking with them. They were just off radar. I also remember one guy who was obviously gay - as early as sixth grade it was clear. I later went to college with him, and he was out by then. I don't really remember him being physically bullied, and we were in 6th, 7th, 8th grade together, often in the same classes. As far as the school hierarchy went, he was just a non-entity; I'm sure he was teased (though I never bothered the guy, and I don't recall any specifics), but I don't recall any physical violence.

This is Queens, mid-80's through early 90's. If you know anything about that time in NYC, you know it was basically a running race war, especially in the outer boroughs (think Howard Beach), and much of what is described above is indexed to race, especially in the mixed-neighborhood junior high schools and high schools (elementary schools were still largely de facto segregated).

[blogslut]

27. Yes

Verbally/Socially. And I wore it like a badge of honor. I was "different" and proud and stood my ground. I also defended the shy kids that got picked on. More than one time I told a bully to leave some kid alone and take me on. Those more the mean kids taunted me, the more I did to piss them off.

[Tesha]

28. A few tried...

but nobody got very far. I'm not a very good target for bullies, never was.

Though they tried, and tried...

and I'll bet anything those a-holes are Teabaggers today.

[Lorien]

29. Nonstop, nearly every waking hour

I was a very shy kid and very nearsighted, so I wore thick glasses from first grade on. My mother didn't like spending money on my clothes, so I usually only had three shirts, two pairs of pants and a dress during any given year. Often the pants and shirts had patches on them before I outgrew them. To make matters worse, my upper jaw was too long and narrow, giving me buck teeth, and my lower jaw stooped growing around age eight, so it was very recessed. I looked as awful as one can imagine, plus I was speech impaired because of it. My best friend's brothers and their gang harassed me nonstop daily; from the moment I stepped on the school bus in the morning to the moment I stepped off in the evening. They knocked me around, they stole from me, they made sure that no one would sit with me at lunch or play with me at recess. I went to a small private school and the principle always said "they only tease you because they LIKE you." Nothing could have been further from the truth.

It didn't stop there. My mom and younger sister continued the bullying at home. I was her terrible "mistake" that was conceived out of wedlock, pre-Roe V. Wade. My sister was wanted so she was exempt from my mom's contempt, but she joined in with my mother whenever possible. My mother would say to my sister "doesn't she remind you of a retarded ape?" That's a more extreme example. Most of their bullying was much more subtle. I didn't see my dad often (divorced). He was really into photography, but I hated it when he'd take my photo because he'd always bring out the older photos to show to his friends to laugh about what an ugly kid he had.

I went to school with the same kids all the way through High School. The taunts continued even then. I had been chubby, but in my teens I lost weight until I was down to 97 pounds at nearly 5'8". I just wanted to disappear. At age 19 I had surgery on my jaws; both were removed, reconstructed and replaced. I look much more "normal" now but I'll always feel hideous. My mother still never invites me to family reunions. She's too embarrassed by the fact that I exist. (Just another reason why I'm strongly pro-choice; unwanted embryos end up being unwanted children, which isn't fair to anyone).

[alcibiades_mystery]

31. Holy

fuck.

:grouphug:

[RainDog]

51. hugs to you, Lorien

how horrible.

I am so sorry you had to endure such treatment - especially from your own family.

You did not deserve this treatment. You are such a wonderful person. I always enjoy reading your posts here - you bring something wonderful to this place.

You are one of my favorite people on this site, tho I never took the time to say it.

In spite of what you have endured - you have demonstrated that you are better than those who were so bad to you. I hope you have an intentional family - we don't have to keep the family we started with, especially when they are so toxic.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Lorien]

58. Aw, thanks RainDog

:loveya:

I have some kitties and some good friends, so that's kind of like a family.

I think that many of us who have been bullied become politically active later in life, fighting for those who are mistreated and taken advantage of by the people in power. That's why we get frustrated with our own party at times; we know all to well that NOT standing up to bullies will only make the situation worse, and that's been the case for far too long in this Country.

[pacalo]

65. Lorien,

I read your post several hours ago on an iPhone when I was checking the latest posts & couldn't respond to you then.

I'd love to be able to give you the biggest, longest hug. It breaks my heart that you went through that type of abuse with your own family. I hope you won't measure your personal worth by their treatment of you. Too many psychologically damaged people have children of their own & pass on the hurt to them.

Surround yourself with uplifting people who make you feel good about yourself. Accept nothing less.

I love you.

:hug:

[renate]

76. oh my god

You are so courageous to have become the wonderful, compassionate person you are despite having no role models to learn those qualities from. You went through so much and despite the suffering and emotional scars, which would have made it perfectly understandable for you to become absolutely consumed by bitterness, you chose to rise above the people who surrounded you and became a strong and beautiful person.

:hug:

[Lorien]

89. Thanks so much renate

I didn't mean to give the impression that my family was never kind-they tried. Both of my parents were horribly abused as kids, so I'm sure they were doing their best. But both felt robbed by being forced into a marriage by an unwanted pregnancy, which is why we should NEVER go back to those times. They bullied when they were stressed, or in my dad's case because his father bullied him nonstop and that's all he knew. I understand why they did it. My best friend's brothers had no excuse. They came a very loving and supportive home-too supportive; mom and dad felt that that their angelic little boys were "just being boys" and that I should have just gotten over it.

[Godhumor]

82. self delete: accidentally posted to a subthread

[raccoon]

102. Sorry to hear that. I always felt like a "throwaway child" too.

:hug: :pals:

[KurtNYC]

119. how horrible they all were

but your resilience is inspiring :hug:

[lovemyblackberry]

30. a little bit because I wore black and had a mohawk..

[11 Bravo]

32. No, but I had friends who were.

I was the captain of the basketball team and an all conference wrestler. I eventually told one punk (back then we called him a "greaser"), that if he ever called my friend a "faggot" again, I would kick his ass so hard he would wear it for a hat. (Glad it never came to that. To this day I'm not sure if I could have taken him. The sonuvabitch outweighed me by at least 75 pounds; but like most bullies, he was a candy-ass at heart.)

[sakabatou]

33. Yes.

[Freetradesucks]

34. A guy did for a few weeks,

until I beat the shit out of him.

He was much bigger than me and on the football team, so it took me a while to get up the gumption to stand up to him. One day I decided that I had had enough, and the next time (pretty much everyday) he gave me a hard time I was going to deck him. The next day I wore clothes to school that I didn't care if they got ripped or wrecked, and running shoes. Sure enough that day I was coming into the locker bay and he was coming out. We were face to face in an instant, and he started belittling me again.

I punched him in the nose and jumped on him, and didn't stop hitting his face until a teacher pulled me off.

I never even saw him again, in the same school.

[Scuba]

35. I was puny and mouthy. What do you think?

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. Of course - I was smart. I liked reading. I thought knowing stuff was important.

I knew that love of sports was ignorant and a waste of life.

My bullying wasn't real severe compared to what others went through, but it was a pain in the ass. Until I stood up to one of the Most Treasured And Precious Could-Never-Do-Wrong Sports Heroes Of The Town (because of course the only kids that fucking mattered were the male ones who played basketball or football!) one day, and then another, and another - then he and others stopped harassing me. Then after I started nailing them in the hallway whenever they got close to me, they started walking around me. It was actually pretty funny by my senior year, the way they'd avoid me.

"Stay away from that Rabrrrrrr; he's smaller than us, but he really fucking hates us and isn't afraid to channel his rage to take a shot at us."

I'm sure they weren't thinking anything that nuanced or elegant, probably just more like a dog, "That object hurt me last time. No go near that object."

[Bitwit1234]

37. I can honestly say no. I was a little shrimp

even in the seventh grade I looked like I belonged in the third of fourth. But there were two guys in the seventh grade who wouldn't let any body get near me. I don't know why but they were always hovering and I guess every one took the hint.

[stray cat]

38. Easier to ask who wasn't

[woodsprite]

39. When I was in elementary school, I was in 'special gym'

For people with coordination issues or people who were overweight.
This boy insisted on tormenting me, including taking my jacket and
putting it in the school incinerator. My parents complained but the
Principal and teacher did nothing. He finally stopped when I whacked
the crap out of him with a loaded bookbag for putting my hat in a locked
postal box. A crossing guard looked on. When the kid complained to her,
she said "well what did you expect. Seems like she got you back."

[stray cat]

40. Did anyone here ever make fun of or ostracize someone in school?

[nadinbrzezinski]

43. No, I was too busy trying to survive and

hanging out at the library with a few good friends. That is BOOKS, in case you need a translation. Only safe place in the damn school.

[seabeyond]

48. i did. i will remember it always. had never done it. wasnt me. and i did it really really bad.

stayed with me always.

she couldnt be a more unattractive girl... and i say it with love now (because of what she gave me), but a reality. and she had a limp and brace. everyone teased her. i never did.

what was i, like, 5th grade. she walked into bathroom and i said something mean. cant even remember. we were the only ones in there. just remember her eyes, looking at me. and all it said. it shamed me.

i was particularly nice to her afterwards, though never friends, and it was never enough. but decades later, i never forgot either. i am always on the other side, with the mouth, sticking up for those that cant/dont/wont speak for themselves.

but there was that one and only. a lesson for a lifetime.

[RobinA]

114. I Did Too

It was in kindergarten. I never did it before or since. There was this girl one year younger. NOTHING about her was different or in the least noteworthy. I used to say mean things to her whenever she came into sight. I didn't know why I was doing it at the time and I knew it was wrong, but I kept doing it. It was like a compulsion when I saw her. At the end of the year we had this parents day thing. I was petrified that she would tell her parents, who would tell my parents. I was beside myself with shame the entire day. She didn't tell anybody. I never had the urge to bully anybody again. To this day I have no idea what the whole thing was all about.

[seabeyond]

138. hm...

isnt it something, how they stay with you ... forever. yup

[ScreamingMeemie]

54. Did you?

[Raine]

62. No i was the one who was being made fun and ostracized

and even if I hadn't been I was too small and skinny and geeky to be able to have done that to others and been taken seriously, they would've just laughed.

[alcibiades_mystery]

66. I think you're looking for honesty, and I don't think you're getting a whole lot of it

Or maybe people "remember" their school years, well, let's just say other than they were. It's not possible that everyone here was the bullied and the ostracized, rather than the teaser and ostracizer. I suspect the vast majority of people have been on both sides of that divide at various points, though it's of course impossible to say so in this environment.

[ScreamingMeemie]

67. I think the OP asked for those who had been bullied to tell their story.

The responses here are, by no means, the entirety of DU, but they are an answer to the original post.

Did I ever bully anyone? No. Because I know what it feels like. I also know there is a good cross section of my own child's school that do not bully.

Not everyone is a bully...just as not everyone is bullied.

Thank you.

[Lilith Velkor]

94. Yup.

[ejpoeta]

107. when i lived in AZ there was one kid. he was annoying and one could say

did it to himself. I lived on an air force base and we all got picked up at a bus stop. This one kid became a target. I started to laugh at first, but realized that I did not want to be a part of that. I refused to participate in it, even if the kid was annoying. Some kids make themselves a target. I was in a place in my life, having come from a place where i was a target most of my life, where I felt free to be my own person. I felt free enough to tell my friends that it was wrong to do and that I wouldn't be any part of it. I think they stopped after that.

[Diclotican]

41. cynatnite

cynatnite

Yes, have been bullied all the way, from 1 grade, to 9th grade.... After that it got somewhat more easy, as I got to another school, far away from where I was in grade school.. And not to many "Know" me there...

I guess, most of my problems, specially when it came to pepole around me, is from that age... It was a tuff time I rather do not want to thing to mutch about.. In fact I have not even been to anyone of the "reunions" I have been invited to, becouse of what I have "eksperienced".. And I am a grown man in my 30s now.. But I still do not want to go to this reunions, becouse it can rapture old wounds... Wounds who was painfully enough when they was fresh, and I would guess no less painfull today.

But, at leat at same ocasion I was fighting back... In 3th grade I broke a 5th grades arm, he was out for months I rembember.. That was I got into a special eds class, to try to learn how to manage my temper.. The fact was he had bullied me, since 1 grade, and he and a couple of others allmoust burn most of my hear off.. If it was not for the fact, that the principal was walking by, I would have been maimed for life,, as I had quiet a hear then (it was popular with a lot of hair in the 1980) Not to say, in 1 grade when I got suspended, when I trow a stone after a bully - and hit him really good in the back of the head... Got suspended for a week, but after my parent was talking to the "victims" parents, and the truth was out, I got just 3 days suspentions, but was out for a week... I would say, it was the best week I had in 1 grade... (And it was not going anything more easy as the years passed)..

Wel, for some reason I survive to, today, even tho I still is builled, by others... Wel thats maybe just part of life I guess,something I just have to live with, to something better comes along... Oh, why I started here, wel its 3 in the morning I guess, more feeling is open then than in awaking hours....

Diclotican

[Cleita]

42. Yes, there was one girl who used to get her

friends to gang up and beat me up. I learned to fight back though and eventually my family moved away. Years later when we were in our twenties and I hadn't seen her for a decade, she got my phone number from a mutual acquaintance and wanted to get together with me. I declined. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but I just didn't want to see her again and be reminded of the hurt.

[no_hypocrisy]

44. Yes. Really started to heat up in Seventh Grade.

I was relieved to learn I could talk them down in high school.

[Dash87]

45. This guy threatened to slit my throat.

But looking back, we were all little kids, and I don't really think he was serious.

Other than that, I never really had a problem with anyone. A couple of people were jerks, but that's a given anywhere. I really can't remember much about High School, to be honest, and I'm in my fifth year of college now.

♥

[TriMera]

46. I came from a very small town.

It's in Southern California, but it might as well be in the middle of Georgia (a lot of rednecks!). It started with some of the boys in 2nd grade. They would hit me and push me. I finally kicked the crap out of one of them and the boys left me alone.

As I got older, the girls started verbally abusing me. I was quiet and bookish and I made a great target. They knew that if they didn't touch me, I wouldn't fight back. In junior high school I started playing softball and basketball and they started calling me Dyke and Lezzie. I ignored them. I had it so hard at home that the hell at school was still better than the hell at home. Let's put it this way, I don't pine for my school years. Kids are mean and they're getting meaner.

[foxfeet]

47. Yes. In junior high school.

Vile, anti-gay stuff from a group of "greaser hoods," as we referred to them in those days. I was a skinny, bookish kid who did well in school. They were all considerably bigger than I was and every last one of them had been held back more than once from advancing to high school, so they were all older than I, as well. Fighting back wasn't a realistic option against a group. Some of the bullying went on in study hall, right under the nose of the school librarian, who did nothing to stop it. My parents went to the principal and laid down the law. Turns out I wasn't the only target and other parents also raised hell. The bullying stopped, but AFAIK there were no particular consequences for these thugs. If any of 'em are still alive, I hope they works at some menial job they hate (and that's one hope that almost certainly would be true).

[shirlden]

49. Was I ever bullied in school??

Yeh.....sure.....but only once. I just picked the biggest and baddest in the bullygang and put him in the dirt...hard.
They never bothered this little girl again.

Truth
:evilgrin:

[scorpiogirl]

50. Yes, in elementary and junior high school.

I am extremely sensitive to that happening to my children. My oldest child's teacher told us that he has no tolerance for it both in his class and on the playground. I was happy to hear that.

My first instinct is to scare the crap out of the bully, I guess since I didn't protect myself enough back then, I feel I have to protect my children more. I am definitely fierce about it now.

[protect our future]

52. No, and I often think how fortunate I was to escape the torment.

I was very quiet, sensitive and self-conscious way back then, and mostly I was ignored rather than bullied. If I'd had to endure the torture some of you have posted about, I think I'd be scarred for life or maybe even a suicide victim.

[Raine]

53. Mostly females have a way of putting other girls down

without having to physically abuse them, they treat you like an outcast and put you down for your clothes, your looks etc ... years later it still hurts. :-(

[raccoon]

103. And they do it as adults too, though they aren't usually quite as blatant about it. nt

[JerseygirlCT]

55. Not physically

But there was a trio of boys that made every day hell with their teasing in 7th and 8th grade. They were relentless - making fun of me, encouraging the class to join in.

I later (much later) realized that every one of them was particularly short. I think they were using me to distract other would-be bullies from picking on them.

[quaker bill]

56. Sure,

until I allowed a couple of rather large guys make use of my homework and sit behind me to look over my shoulder during tests... I suddenly became very much safer. It was the first time either of them got an "a" on their report cards in years. It was probably the last time as well.

[cbdo2007]

57. Yes - I got beat up a handful of times in high school because of my race

[femmocrat]

59. Not that I can remember.

It seems like we all just "got along". There was a 6th grade boy who used to chase me on the playground and pull off my hair band, but I think it was more like a crush.

My mom always told me that anyone who talked about me was "just jealous", so that is how I always considered anyone who said nasty things about me. I guess times were different in the 1960s.

[apocalypsehow]

60. Only once.

When I got back from my week-long suspension, I never had that problem again.

[bbdad]

153. I know this is off topic, but I must apologize to apocalypsehow

for a PM that I wrote to him. I was confrontational and rude.

[ScreamingMeemie]

61. We moved a lot when I was a girl.

Couple that with my mom not letting me wear jeans to school (these were Jordache years) and the Trax shoes I wore daily, and it was bound to happen. The first few, school aged, moves were okay. After the usual,staring at the new kid, making fun of the accent, days I could get by.

8th grade was different. We had moved to MI and everyone was into the jeans, makeup and hair. I was more than just out of place. I was disliked. I had met a girl who had become my "friend". It was only after everything had happened that I would find out she was the one who let the boys in to jeer at me when I was changing at winter camp, she was the one who talked everyone into telling me I wasn't "welcome" to sit with them. She was the one who wrote "you're ugly" on each and every page of my textbooks (we shared an assigned locker) with Sharpie. To this day the smell of white out turns my stomach because that is what the teacher used to return my books to "brand new!" condition.

It got worse, and I was weak. I begged my parents to let me switch schools. I don't blame them, they thought they were "building character". Some of you may laugh at this next part but, to a 13 year old girl, it is deadly serious. I would shower every day and leave the house with my hair wet, hoping to get sick and stay home. Better yet...to die from pneumonia. Dying from pneumonia isn't a sin, for a Catholic girl. As months went by sin went out the window. I am only lucky that I am a coward. Afraid of blood, not old enough to drive, afraid of pain. For a quick moment I thought about downing a bottle of Tylenol. How lucky I am that I didn't think it would "work". I got through it. I remember laying in bed on Sunday nights praying to die of natural causes before the first bell rang.

I started hiding out in the library during lunch, to keep away from the bullies. When that became risky, I hid in the locker pits. Our lockers were in a square shaped step down in the middle of the school. One day, and I will never forget this day, the choir teacher caught me. She dragged me by the arm into the office yelling about how I had skipped lunch and should be suspended. Here is where I should mention that I was a straight A student, never in trouble, sort of even a teacher's pet. She just would not let up on how shameful MY behavior was. A call was put in to my father to come and get me. As this was happening, my 8th grade teacher happened to walk by. She did a double take and came in to ask what was going on. The screaming harpy...er...choir teacher launched into a tirade about me, the troublemaker and how an example would be made this time. I will never forget Mrs. O'Connor (my beloved 8th grade history teacher) for launching into an equally loud tirade about the brats at the school, about my record... she stood up for me.

She took task against the class that afternoon. I had gone home with my father. The next day it was she who walked with me into the lunch room and up to a table. At that table sat Maureen and Sandy. Two labeled "sluts". They graciously shared their table with me and became great friends of mine. I will never forget those two either.

I survived it, but only because I didn't have the means or the will not to. I tell my own middle school aged son, because middle school kids are perhaps (in my own opinion) the most horrid of bullies, that, whenever he thinks about putting someone down he should picture that someone as me, 27 years ago. I hope he does.

[csziggy]

68. Verbal abuse, enough to make me not want to go to school

And I had loved school before that. I pretty much shut down and stopped trying to be friends with the kids in my small school. The bad part was that it was a small town without a lot of turnover in population so I had gone to kindergarten and most of elementary school with those kids before the abuse started. Then I had to go through junior and senior high with them after.

It started when our science/math teacher was teaching about bell curves and showed how he was grading on the curve. When he got to the part where he showed how most of the other students' grades were lower than they might have been because of my high scores, I could feel the anger from the other students. Maybe he was just trying to complement me, but what he did was make my classmates hate me. They harassed me horribly for the res of that year, ostracized me the next year, so by the time I went to junior high, I did not expect or try to have friends.

Good thing my personality was always suited to being a loner. I just learned to deal with it younger than I might have done otherwise.

[dsc]

69. I thought my name was faggot in middle school I was called it so often

I also got humiliated in middle school quite a bit. Things like getting spat on, tripped in the hall, even peed on once. By high school it had died down to the occasional name calling but I still often felt like total crap.

[Liquorice]

70. Yes, when I was the new kid at an elementary school. It was awful beyond words! nt

[donheld]

71. Mercilessly

[Marr]

72. Occasionally. But far more painful are the memories of seeing other kids bullied,

and doing nothing when I could've stopped it. Or even worse, actually contributing to it.

Remembering the times I was bullied only gives me a very vague sense of anger. Remembering having stood by, or made someone else's life more miserable because I was afraid to stand out still makes me feel as small and ashamed as it did then.

[laughingliberal]

73. Yes. Grew up in a conservative area with parents who were civil rights' activists.

Endless harassment & bullying.

[dsc]

74. that had to be rough

I bet your parents felt like crap too.

[laughingliberal]

80. Pretty brutal, it was. Parents were focused on keeping us alive. No easy job, that.

I think it was a long time before they realized how much we were enduring at school from the children of the people who were trying to kill us. As hard as it was, I am glad they were not dissuaded from the cause. I learned the values I hold to this day.

[dsc]

97. you were a brave kid to keep that in

[alfredo]

75. I was bullied, but I was a hot head and fought back.

Got my ass kicked on many occasions, but always got my licks in.

[proteus_lives]

78. Pretty much my story.

I was always of the opinion that it was better to go down swinging.

[alfredo]

81. I didn't play well with others.

[proteus_lives]

77. Yeah. Usual suspects.

Got beat-up and I fought back.

I lost more often then I won but they stopped bothering after freshman year. I wasn't worth the trouble.

[FreeState]

79. Yes

Every single day of junior high and highschool - it never stopped until I moved away after highschool.

[Godhumor]

83. My wife was bullied (and assaulted) by her cross-country coach in junior high school

Just for background she grew up in Japan.

I won't get into it too much, but the story that still angers me to this day occurred before practice. The coach noticed the girls on the cross-country team chatting too informally for his liking while stretching, lined them all up in a row and, one by one, slapped every one of them across the side of the face to teach them discipline.

Actually, still makes me upset just typing it.

[Greyhound]

84. Until I stood up and got my ass kicked, bad.

He got expelled, I learned a painful but invaluable life-long lesson.

You stand for something even when it hurts.

[Behind the Aegis]

85. Hell yes!

I got bullied for being Jewish, not only by students, but by teachers (which my mother handled). I was bullied from 4th grade to senior year for "being gay." though for much of the time I had no idea what it meant. Also mistreated by teachers, usually coaches, but didn't tell anyone about it. In my first HS, I was bullied for being gay, Jewish, and white (predominately black school in GA). Tenth grade was an all white school in the North (they didn't use buses and therefore kept out black students) and I was harassed for being gay, small for my size, smart, and being Southern (Jewish wasn't an issue as most of the school was Jewish and even closed for Jewish holidays, a first for me). My last two years were in VA and I got it for being gay, smart, odd clique I hung with, and being small. However, I had some very good friends across the board, so some of the harassment was stopped by them, not the homophobia though.

[MilesColtrane]

86. Yes, but I don't care to elaborate.

[eridani]

87. Verbal harassment only

But since I could effectively defend myself verbally, it usually never happened more than a couple of times.

[devilgrrl]

88. Yes. Incessantly. At home too!

But don't feel the need to rehash those awful memories anymore, it took 25+ years to put it behind me.

[outerSanctum]

91. Yep....

It's just a fact of life - kids bully kids.

[MrScorpio]

92. Yep... But only up to the point when I decided that it was a good idea to strangle bullies

The looks on their faces when I was getting pulled off of them was very priceless indeed.

[political_Dem]

93. Yes.

[LiberalEsto]

95. Hell yes

It started in 3rd grade with a nasty teacher, and continued through high school. Even now, I hate sitting in the middle of a restaurant, because of memories of torment in school cafeterias. Phys ed was a nightmare.

Sometimes I used to fantasize about going back to a reunion with a machine gun.

(Not that I would ever do such a thing -- I can't even bear the idea of touching a gun.)

[Dash87]

98. I had the "nasty teacher" too.

Fourth grade. lol

She made sure to belittle everything I did, and often made fun of my writings (of a fourth grader, which of course were imaginative) in front of the class. That was in the 90's, and I'm not sure if she's still teaching or not. Of course, though, everybody else loved her, and failed to see what the problem was.

♥

[LiberalEsto]

122. Too many nasty teachers

Sorry to hear that it happened to you too. I can't fathom why teachers feel the need to pick on certain kids and practically ruin their lives.

In 1959, when I was in 3rd grade, my class had an ignorant moron of a teacher who concluded that, because my parents were immigrants from Soviet-occupied Estonia, we must be Communists. This was during the Cold War when Communist was a particularly dirty word.

She proceeded to trash me in front of the entire class every chance she got, even though I was one of the brightest and best-behaved kids in her class. I was also the youngest, having skipped a grade. By the time 3rd grade ended, I was a "cootie," shunned by nearly everybody. It didn't help that my sweet old 4th grade teacher felt sorry for the way I was picked on, and favored me a bit, because it made the others resent me even more.

The 3rd grade teacher also made fun of my writing, but at least this spurred me on. I ended up becoming a newspaper reporter, and wrote a lot of poetry in my 20s. Even got a poem published in Cosmopolitan once.

[lightningandsnow]

96. Frequently, from Junior Kindergarten to high school.

I wasn't targeted for anything in particular - everything I did was a target. My looks, my social awkwardness, and later, my sexuality. I was placed in a gifted program from grade 5 to high school and was frequently called a "retard" and "stupid" by the other "gifted" students. I had a significant learning disability which wasn't diagnosed until I was 16.

I'm now studying at the University of Toronto, something the people who called me "retard" said I would always be too stupid to do.

[AngryAmish]

99. Sure. Until we formed a gang.

Then it stopped. We really shouldn't have put that kid in the hospital...but we were all kinda sick of him. Saw him a few years ago. He still limps.

[uncommon]

101. A few times in elementary school, once in middle school, major issue in college.

The early stuff was normal kid teasing, nothing serious.

In college I somehow ended up the object of a really nasty girl's hatred and that caused me some unpleasant problems for the better part of freshman year. It died a natural death though.

[TuxedoKat]

104. Verbal bullying

in 6th and 7th grades. It was so upsetting to me that when I saw my daughter being bullied at the same age two years ago we sent her to a private school the next year. This year she is back in public school and doing fine. The former bullies are too ashamed (guess they matured somewhat) or too afraid to bully her now (other kids have her back now). As unpleasant as the bullying was, it was a growth experience for her and the year in private school was absolutely the best thing we could have done for her as she came back even stronger and more self-confident than before.

[ejpoeta]

105. when i was in school it was a group effort. in fact my brother was bullied also.

in fact, i remember the boces kids in the back of the bus took my book that was my mom's 1st grade reader from when she was in school and were ripping out the pages and throwing them out the window. when my brother (we were in grade school catholic school students) they held him down and tried to rip his shoes off and throw them out the window. the bus driver did NOTHING about it. not only did he do nothing about it, he was LAUGHING. he thought it was funny.

when we were in the public school it was no better. i was spit on. i had kids knocking my stuff out of my hands. on a regular basis. this was our life in a small town. i had a friend from this school that i recently reconnected with and we had a discussion about that. she was surprised at how i wasn't still upset about how badly i had been treated. what would it do? what good would it do. I wish I had my mentality now when I was a kid. but back then this was my life. I had no choice I had to deal with these people. Private school wasn't much better. They didn't spit on me. But they looked down their nose at me. I didn't know who all those designers were. Uniforms don't matter... they'll still find a way.

I know that I went to Notre Dame High School where it was a little better. There were still kids that were jerks, but it was tolerable. When my dad tried to send me back to the local school I refused!! I didn't want to go back there for anything!!!

To this day I hate that school. IT wasn't just a few kids...it was was systemic. And it is amazing to me that none of us kids live anywhere near that town. And none of us would send our kids to that school either. Supposedly they have done well on tests. But I wouldn't risk my kids having to go through what I went through. I know my oldest has problems at school. Some of it is self inflicted because she has ADHD and acts out in school. But it is not the WHOLE SCHOOL like the school where I went. I also know things have changed as far as what schools supposedly tolerate with regard to bullying.

[Mudoria]

106. No

I was always one of the bigger kids in school. Also helped that I was from an extended family known for more than a few incidents with the law and several of whom enjoyed room and board from the state for periods of time. Guess most of the other kids weren't interested in finding out whether I was a psycho like some other members of my family.

[ehrnst]

108. Yes.

It was horrible, and parents and teachers at that time (early to mid 70's) didn't deal with it at all - it was considered just part of growing up. If I got pushed down or hit by a boy, it was because "That's how boys show you they like you." If a girl did it, they said, "Don't tattle. Just ignore them."

I wound up having some success by hitting back and "going Ralphie" on them, then later humor worked. I think part of the mentality of bullying is that as long as what they get by bullying is outweighed by what they lose by it, bullies continue the behavior. Ignoring them encourages them.

However, fighting back has its dangers, too. I was not gay, nor percieved to be, so I didn't have that to defend or justify. Some kids bully out of rage about how they are treated at home. If getting them in trouble makes things worse for them at home, they could well percieve that neutralizing the tattler would be worth it.

[ensho]

109. thankfully my mother taught me how to handle a bully

thank you mamma

[AngryOldDem]

110. Sometimes.

Until the bullies needed my help with schoolwork.

[City Lights]

112. Yes, when I was in first grade. A fifth grader used to kick me in the ankle.

And the boy that did the kicking was not wearing sneakers. He wore shoes with hard soles, so it really hurt.

[ieoeja]

113. Not until college.

Then one night I snapped. Never had a problem after that.

Last day of that freshman year while walking to the train station, a graduating senior from the dorm pulled over and offered me a ride. He wanted to discuss how I picked that particular college for graduate school!

When he found out I had just finished my freshman year, he apologized for not doing something about the bullying. For some reason the entire dorm thought I was a grad student.

[NoGOPZone]

115. Not bullied but ostracized

I was a nonconformist but also a wiseass. When people criticized my habits and dress, I had my own remarks to make. Eventually they gave up, but never quite forgave me for not yielding to their expectations.

[ThatsMyBarack]

116. ....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9176571

[Xenotime]

117. Yes. Major psychological was done.

[Iggo]

118. Yep.

[HughBeaumont]

120. You could say that.

Vermilion High School was loaded to the rim with dickheaded and constantly threatening athletes, Bocephus rednecks, asshole stoners (dispelling the myth of Marijuana = "mellow". Bullies who smoke weed are still bullies), rich douchebags, really superficial, mean and downright bitchy females and revered popular kids who just plain sucked.

Some assholes think "bullying builds character". Yeah, by "building character", they must mean suicidal/homicidal thoughts (not me, specifically, but many, many others), rage and frustration, paranoia, a disdain for learning and school, destroyed self-esteem, misanthropy, misogyny and depression.

I guess in that sense, a sub-human assplow continuing the sensible act of threatening, teasing and assaulting someone smaller than them only because they can . . . builds a whole FUCKload of "character". Sons of bitches.

The solutions counselors offer to deal with bullies are laughable ("Use your words") at best and dangerous at worst. I mean, adults, parents: do you HONESTLY think a sociopathic fuckhead who has no care in the world and thinks he's invincible (because after all, the way a school deals with a bully is to punish the asshole AND the victim) is going to all of a sudden stop bullying a kid if said victim tells bully "you're hurting my feelings"? What the hell planet are you living in? In this one, that's pretty much giving the asshole carte blanche to ramp up his assholiness and have his asshole friends join in on the fun.

Oh, and all the self-defense in the world (short of a .22) isn't going to help at all when you're 5'8" and weigh 140 at best going against a 6 foot short-fused asshole with even a slight modicum of fighting skills. In case you get furiously lucky and DO triumph and not get suspended/expelled for fighting . . . the 6 footer's got backup. You have nothing but scared friends who are getting it just as bad.

Senior year, I was so infuriated at the world and paranoid of everyone, I took a box cutter and a knife to school daily. Bullying reduced me to an animal; I was ready to break legs and stab. Later on in the year, I calmed down because of the fact that it was finally over.

I, for real, could not be in the same proximity as someone who bullied me. It'd be a massacre on some pasty, doughy, out-of-shape bastards. I still have PTSD from it. Their idea of "building character" was my reality of getting a life ruined. I couldn't concentrate, I hated and was frightened of school, I hated authority figures for not helping me, my grades plummeted, I almost didn't get into college and I couldn't get a career path because I was academically atrocious in everything.

I had to settle on what I hated the least instead of doing something I loved for a living. All because of constant dick-dodging.

Oh yeah, the teachers that were bestowed upon me sucked almost as much . . .

[justiceischeap]

121. Yep, until I beat up someone bigger

My nickname was she-man (I was bullied because I'm a lesbian). They went so far as to do the whole get on the knees behind me and push. Then during a softball game I'd had enough (the bullies were on the opposing team) and I beat up a girl bigger than me. They left me alone after that. I don't advocate violence but sometimes it helps to put an end to bullying.

[KansDem]

124. Made fun of, but not so much bullied.

That was some 40-45 years ago. To this day, however, there were a couple of fuckwads I'd liked to have coldcocked...

[laundry_queen]

125. I have been on all sides of this .

I was lucky in that I was a pretty girl when I was younger, so in general I did well and had many friends. I was unfortunately a follower with low self-esteem so I sometimes watched bullying happen. There were also times when I stepped in and stood up for someone against bullies. I would sometimes bully other kids, but not physically, just in that awful teenage girl way of tearing someone down with words. Usually behind their back. At home I was bullied by my parents, who were very authoritarian and controlling and had nothing nice to say about anyone (although they were all rainbows and sunshine in front of people, no one could believe, not even my friends believed, how my parents REALLY were). To make myself feel better, I suppose, I put other people down in return. There were times, however, when the tables would turn on me (again, in that teenage girl way) and I'd go through being totally ostracized and bullied for a week until I apologized to my 'friends' and made it all better.

Gawd, am I ever glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I feel so bad for my daughter who has to deal with the whole facebook thing, although she's not been bullied, she has had a fight with other girls that turned into a facebook fight. It's so much easier to be nasty through the computer screen. *sigh*

[BoneDaddy]

126. It is part of life

that continues through adulthood, albeit not in the same exact fashion. hell, my grandmother was an incredible bully and quite possibly one of the nastiest people I have ever known.

What the real question is is how do we counter it? We need to move from this "wrap people in cotton" approach and into the realm of teaching resiliency skills. Life is tough and we cannot control every nuance. If we can teach inner strength (not to be confused with exterior machismo) and how to protect oneself, verbally, physically, legally etc..then people can be armed with the ability to withstand life's tougher periods.

On the flipside the "bullies" need to be identified, and addressed with both a firm consequence and a level of compassion. Most child bullies I have run into were raised by adult bullies.

One of the worst things we can do is sit for years in the role of victim and never move to the realm of the survivor.

[cynatnite]

128. The kids who are being bullied aren't at fault...

and they shouldn't be told that it's a part of life. :puke:

I agree that bullies should be identified and properly disciplined, but not every kid can handle the abuse as well as others. The 13 year old boy who was bullied killed himself after he was shoved down a flight of stairs. Cemetaries are being filled by children who were bullied.

Inner strength comes from maturity and can't necessarily be taught to children. That sort of thing takes time and must be tailored to each individual. This is the kind of nuance you say we can't control.

We can do far more good by going after the bullies and the parents of bullies. We can teach tolerance and acceptance.

The last thing we should do is accept this as a part of life.

[JuniperLea]

132. Amen!

Murder, rape, and bigotry would be part of life by that definition.

[BoneDaddy]

139. No offense but wake up

It is great to attempt to live in a utopia but dealing with POWER issues is a lifelong struggle. I did not, nor will I EVER say that it is acceptable to allow someone to treat you with disrespect or trod upon your boundaries, but, whether you like it or not it is a fact of life and it must be dealt with.

The difference is I do not coddle people but teach them how to respond appropriately. You, on the other hand, would rather wallow in self pity and powerlessness...Time to grow up into reality.

[cynatnite]

148. It is not a normal part of life to be shoved down a flight of stairs...

It's not a normal part of life to be choked as my cousin was by a bully. These incidents, and the many others that people opened up about in this thread is not a normal part of life. We're talking physical assault and verbal abuse of the worst kind.

It should NOT be accepted as normal behavior by anyone. People say shit all the time. That is a fact of life, but the horror stories are not normal.

You want to blame the victims for not being "tough" enough to handle this abuse.

Rather than deal with the bullies and their parents appropriately, you still think that the problem with bullying lies with the ones being bullied.

Kids should not be afraid to go to school. Kids should not be subjected to this kind of crap.

We're supposed to help our children and protect them. Sure, we can teach our children to stand up for themselves, but it doesn't do a damn bit of good if they're expected to suck it up and hope they can be tough enough to fight off the bully...which doesn't always work.

Not all kids are the same. Not all kids can be the tough little adults you think they should be.

Bullying can be so damn frightening and paralyzing for kids. If it wasn't so traumatic for some children, they wouldn't be killing themselves.

I'd rather make sure my child can go to school without fear. I'll take the issue to the school and fight like hell for my child. I'll make sure the bully is appropriately punished. I'll help my child deal with it, but my child will know that no one will fuck with him.

Call me whatever you like...I don't give a damn. It's better than the alternative.

[BoneDaddy]

140. No offense but wake up

It is great to attempt to live in a utopia but dealing with POWER issues is a lifelong struggle. I did not, nor will I EVER say that it is acceptable to allow someone to treat you with disrespect or trod upon your boundaries, but, whether you like it or not it is a fact of life and it must be dealt with.

The difference is I do not coddle people but teach them how to respond appropriately. You, on the other hand, would rather wallow in self pity and powerlessness...Time to grow up.

[JuniperLea]

130. 'puter hiccup!

Excuse me!

[JuniperLea]

131. I think bullies have their own self-esteem issues...

And they pass them on.

[BoneDaddy]

141. Agreed

no argument there.

[JuniperLea]

129. Bullied to the point I rarely went...

And I suffered very low self-esteem well into adulthood.

I grew up in a very small So Cal town, and went to elementary school, junior high, and high school, with the same cast of characters... so it followed me.

Oh, look at June, she always raises her hand... she always has the answer... oh, look at June, she's in the brain club... la dee da... look at her go to her special egghead class...

When it got to the playground, it got physical... how smart are you now? How smart does this feel?

In sixth grade I was dragged to the girls restroom (underground; it doubled as a civil defense shelter, so it was out of earshot of most of the school) and had my blouse and bra ripped off... they were expecting tissues or "falsies." I sat there until the end of the school day... they came looking for me when my mom called the school because I didn't come home. She had to bring me a blouse to wear home.

When my kids were young, I became Cubmaster... I had zero tolerance for bullies, and I was St. June to many a young boy and his family because I was very tough on bullies, as tough as allowed. One Scout in particular was bullied very badly. He had multiple birth defects and had scars on his head, face, and arms because of surgeries. He got teased a lot, but not around me. I'm convinced bullies have self-esteem issues of their own, and that was the crux of the discussions I had with parents.

[MrSlayer]

133. Yes but not for long.

I have a low tolerance for people fucking with me. After dragging the bully's face down a stucco wall it ended. I got in trouble at school for it but my dad didn't punish me. One of the very few times I didn't get punished for getting in trouble at school.

[yella_dawg]

135. My dad was the most hated teacher in school.

Forty odd years later, I still wear a beard to cover the scars.

[mmonk]

136. I was until I stood up and fought back. Then it was over.

[Zax2me]

150. Isn't that common among bullies.....

I just replied that once you stand your ground, they left me alone.
Not to side with bullies or anything (!) but I think many are abused at home themselves. Or, at least, have disruptive home lives and being children as well, act out in negative ways.

[mmonk]

154. Yep.

And they are looking and probing weakness. Once you prove that, they move on.

[Sugarcoated]

137. Yes, quite a bit in 5th and 6th grade

We moved a lot and I was the new kid, shy and not knowing how to make friends, didn't wear the coolest clothes and had a last name that was easy to make fun of. It stopped, for the most part, from middle school on, but I had some self esteem issues that took years to conquer. At home, however, my dad was frequently bullying and was a functioning alcoholic. I had some abusive beatings over the years, and we had about a half dozen episodes where he would go into a rage and completely total a room, or several rooms in our house(s). My brothers and sister were stronger personality types, but I was introverted and very sensitive . . . I eventually had to leave and live with my grandmother to get out of the environment, and I still ended up not being able to graduate from high school. Looking back on it now, I know I was having anxiety attacks, trouble breathing, terrible stomach aches, I would be sitting in class and for no reason, just out of the blue, I would start shaking and couldn't move. I did get my GED and ended up graduating from art school, have a great husband and kids,have a great life. My dad mellowed out and was a pretty good grandpop to my kids before he passed away ten years ago.

My younger brother was actually the one who got the most bullying, from school, and my dad via physical stuff. He had ADHD, was a target. He said some kid almost killed him, held him under water till he almost drowned at the swim club we went to. I stood up for him a bit, but I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I was not able to be there for him, plus he was four years younger, so we didn't hang around with the same people.

I have a thing now with bullies, or if I see someone getting bullied, where I have to stand up to them. I do think a majority of Republican's, at least the ones elected to office or represent the party, are bullies. I'm in the party that stands up for the little guy . . . it's the way it is for me.

[high density]

142. Of course, and the school did nothing about it

The principal, et al said was something I was supposed to somehow deal with. 7th through 11th grades were hell. By my senior year I'd finally learned to simply not care anymore.

And the most hilarious part are the assholes from those days who now want to "friend" me on Facebook. Give me a break! Then there are the ones that I see being arrested and thrown in jail. Hah.

[Urban Prairie]

143. Yep throughout parochial elementary/high school through 9th grade.

Almost all were second/third generation Italians, and although I was bigger than most of them, they inevitably would gang up on me when I would fight back against one or two. Could not defend myself vs three or more. Even a couple of nuns (who, IMO, should have "known" better) and one fourth grade lay teacher in particular, had humiliated me in front of my classmates a few times. But both of my seventh grade teachers talked to me after class one day, and told me that I was one of the most emotionally mature in my class, although I was also one of the youngest, having begun first grade at age 4. They both really helped me feel a lot better about myself.

It all finally came to an end when I finished high school grades 10-12, with my decision to transfer to a public high school. Made many, many friends there, and am now happy that my entire school experience wasn't all bad memories.

[Swamp Rat]

144. Yes

A kid about a foot taller and a couple years older than I tried to kill me by choking me and throwing me out of a 3rd story window. The teacher stopped him just in time, and I was allowed to leave school early.

So, I went straight to a neighbor's house to tell another bully (who was the same size), told him all about it, and we went back to school and waited for the kid.

Then I stood by and watched my attacker get the living shit beat out of him.

I rarely got mad, but I did often get even.

[Urban Prairie]

146. "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

Uttered by Khan in Star Trek II...heh!!

When I was in my mid-twenties, I was shooting pool one night at my neighborhood bar. In walked two twin brothers whom I never forgot about, and had not seen in years, but I instantly recognized them, not only because they were identical twins, but mostly because one of them had grabbed my hat in the grade school parking lot years and years ago, and they played keep away with it for a while. They were three or so grades ahead of me, and after they tired of playing that game, one then spit heavily in my hat and gave it back to me.

They both put their quarters on the rail of the pool table to take their turn playing vs whoever won the games before them. I then determinedly won the next several games, and then proceeded beat both of them, one at a time, and in nearly running the table fashion. Neither one got to take more than a couple of shots. There were quite a few people in the bar that night and many watched and laughed at them as they got beat so badly!! I was soooo happy to get even with them that way, although obviously they would never have remembered what they had done to me so long ago.

But I sure did!!

[Swede]

147. Yes,I was.

It continued until I got big enough to fight back.

[Zax2me]

149. Constantly.

Smaller than average kid with a hyper personality, I was ripe pickings for big kids that look for trouble.
Story? Absorbed most of it, fought the ones who would not go away until you did. Won some, lost some, but they all stopped.
Funny how there was never a second fight with the same guy. Once I stood my ground, they looked elsewhere for trouble.

[Le Taz Hot]

151. Not really.

There was this one girl who for some completely unknown reason (I didn't even know her), RAN up from behind me and pushed me full force. I and my books went sprawling in the hallway. Once I got up, well, let's just say I'm pretty sure she still has that combination lock imprinted on her face. I never EVER bullied anyone but was a street kid and most people were smart enough not to fuck with me.

[GoCubsGo]

152. All the time.

I was the fat kid. 'Nuff said.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

155. Yes, pretty regularly. It was really bad in middle school.

I distinctly remember some little shit on the school bus telling me I was "Hitler's experiment." (I'm Jewish). I'm fairly certain a lot of my anxiety issues and some depression sprouted from me being tormented by my classmates in school. All I can say is thank G-d for therapy.