Nobel Prize Awarded To Man Who Helped Humans Have More Fucking Babies

[joeybee12]

STOCKHOLM—The Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded Monday to Robert Edwards, the British in vitro fertilization pioneer who made it possible for shitloads more babies to be born on top of the half million or so daily births already dangerously stressing the planet's dwindling resources. "The long-term impact of Edwards' work is absolutely staggering," read a statement from the Nobel Assembly describing the technology that allows infertile couples to not only give birth but choose the gender and eye color of their child instead of, say, adopting one of the thousands of tsunami-orphaned children in need of a home. "We congratulate him on finding a way for rich limpdicks to achieve what nearly a million poor couples do by complete fucking accident every day." Nobel officials also awarded the Prize in Chemistry to the inventor of Pepcid antacids, which allow people to eat twice as much goddamn food as anybody needs, and the Prize in Literature to Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, "because fuck it."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nobel-prize-awarded-to-man-who-helped-humans-have,18219/

:rofl:

[BlueIris]

1. "(B)ecause fuck it."

No kidding.

[n2doc]

2. Do you feel the same about prizes for those that helped eliminate diseases that killed millions

of "fucking babies"?

[madinmaryland]

5. ...

Look at the link (The Onion).

:)

[BlancheSplanchnik]

8. now now, there's no equivalence between babies never being conceived

in the first place and people who are already born dying of preventable diseases.

:)

[tinrobot]

10. Actually, there is a big difference

I know the article is from the Onion, but there is a grain of truth to it. The big difference is the difference between birth and death.

Eliminating disease prevents death. It only affects those who are already alive, including babies.

In-vitro fertilization enables birth. It doesn't "cure" anything. It simply creates more people - on a planet that is already being overpopulated. Overpopulation can be as unhealthy as any disease we cure.

[formercia]

3. More, mostly white, well to do babies.

Look at Italy, mostly girlie boys that live with their mommas, No wonder the Pope is scared shitless.

[madinmaryland]

4. Good one, Joey!!

Almost got me!!

[joeybee12]

7. Yeah, and i see did get one person on this!

:o

[The Uncola]

It's a kick..

.. how many people go ballistic over Onion pieces, isn't it?

[Hydra]

13. The scary part is how true some of them are

more satire than comedy :evilgrin:

[Sanity Claws]

6. He invented a way to have babies without fucking

so you really can't call them fucking babies

[unblock]

12. give them a few years.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

14. !

:spray:
:rofl:

[progressoid]

9. Fuck it indeed.

k/r

[snooper2]

11. greatness

:)

[joeybee12]

15. Vanity kick because it's hee-larious!