Worthy proposes jail for parents who skip kids' school conferences

[The Northerner]

Prosecutor wants to punish those who skip kids' school conferences

Detroit — Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy is pushing for a law that calls for jail time for parents who skip parent-teacher conferences, a plan some call inspired and others consider the nanny state run amok.

Worthy pitched her plan on Tuesday to the Detroit City Council and is shopping it to the Wayne County Commission and state Legislature. Drawing a link between parental involvement and youth crime, Worthy wants a sponsor to guide the idea to law.

Her plan would require parents to attend at least one conference per year or face three days in jail. Parents of those excelling in school would be exempt, as would those whose health issues make travel difficult and those "actively engaged" with teachers through e-mail, phone calls or letters.

"We have to find any means necessary to get parents involved," Worthy told the council. "We have to start talking about prevention.

"Some children don't have a chance the day they are born."

Worthy staffers said the proposed law would be the first in the nation. She said she prefers a statewide law, but would start with a city or countywide one.

Read more: http://www.detnews.com/article/20101020/METRO/10200350/Worthy-proposes-jail-for-parents-who-skip-kids#ixzz12ueYN9ko

[wtmusic]

1. Better: offer a carrot

One month of free lunches? Persuade local business to supply perks for promotional purposes? :shrug:

[seabeyond]

2. like your childs health and future isnt carrot enough. i know

i know....

it isnt

i think it is so sad. this is what i see in the schools. the desperate of teachers. and it is not only income level... or lack of.

[wtmusic]

4. Word.

The teachers I know claim when parents don't show up for Back-To-School night, they know they'll have problems with that student.

If they're going to evaluate teachers, they should get bonus points for students with uninvolved parents.

[exboyfil]

7. My daughter's friend has parents who

are not engaged in their lives (especially the father). The friend is envious of the time I spend with my daughters on school work. Their family income is quite a bit higher than ours so income has nothing to do with it. It is a willingness to sacrifice for your children. I really don't know how one parent can pull it off.

[seabeyond]

8. now... that is the point. the reality

my rw brother use to criticize other parents so. then he got custody of his daughter. years of trying, he says.... wha... what am i doing wrong.

nothing really, but living the reality of a single parent home and how hard it is.

[SheilaT]

15. I've been saying for years that more

Dads ought to have custody. Not because the moms are necessarily a worse parent, or that the dad is automatically a better one, but more men need to learn the reality of single parenthood.

[seabeyond]

16. yup. to be ultimate in fair though

my other brother always wanted custody adn often had/has custody. the wife is hardly involved. he is VERY empathitic to the single mom and always has been, but then he is the nurturer and would have made a great stay at home.

[sandnsea]

5. Maybe just a big spaghetti feed

Parents can come in, eat, let the kids play while they go to the conference, maybe have a cake walk to raise some money, go home. Great night for everyone.

But still, the communication between teachers and parents has to be on an at least weekly basis. My kids' school sent lots of little projects home to keep parents involved, from minutes we spent reading to family genealogy to weighing things at the grocery store. That's how you get parents involved in their kids' education.

[seabeyond]

6. today parents complain too much homework and having to get kids to do at night.

the first ahndful of years i was telling teachers and adm MORE HOMEWORK. i liked getting homework for kids for different reasons. one was, i was able to see how they were doing in class, and if they needed help. also, allowed me to insist and teach them to go beyond what was expected. and give them one on one is academics.

i was continually told that parents were outraged by the amount of homework given to the kids already.

no, more HOMEWORK. was my answer. lol

[exboyfil]

9. You can have too much homework though

or the wrong kind of homework. The most useless exercise my oldest daughter did was look for vocabulary words in a novel and say what page number they were on. Some of the art work in core subjects like Social Studies also comes close.

I don't mind homework for a purpose, but seeing my daughter up until 11:00 at night finishing 2+ hours of math homework is a bit much.

[seabeyond]

11. yes. you are right. i like seeing the daily math homework. kids weakness and repetitive

is good.

but there have been times when i have felt a bet of empathy. not often though, lol. life. suck it up, do it without gripe, reality of college. doesnt get any easier.

what bothers me is a school event taking up the evening and kid bringing home homework in every class. teachers should think that one thru. seemed an inevitable there for a while with kids.

[exboyfil]

18. Agree totally on Math

You get better with more practice, and for many more practice is the only way to get better grades. I and both of my daughters are this way. When they are preparing for tests (especially major ones) I have them redo every problem in the section plus additional problems if necessary. It gets frustrating when some teachers keep worksheets after grading. At some point you are beating a dead horse though.

Both my daughters have the same math teacher (the oldest is in Geometry and the youngest is in Pre-Algebra). They both have the same homework to this point when it comes to the Diagnostic Review (mostly arithmetic operations). I would expect to see a divergence at some point with the older one picking up Algebra I reviews while the younger one starts focussing on symbol manipulation and the Rules of Algebra. Right now the youngest is doing, in addition to the DRs, Geometry "enrichment" type of activities. I would actually prefer to have her doing the more traditional Pre-Algebra activities. Some of the work is more like intelligent tests than traditional math (such as finding repeating tiles "rep-tiles") - not a skill you are going to need going forward. My younger daughter's teacher doubled up on assignment last night (a DR and a regular assignment). I really wish she would not do that.

I find it amazing the kids that do varsity sports and still maintain good grades. With one day turnaround times on homework, there is literally no time to do it unless you are staying up very late. In addition to the evenings being filled with activities, many activities require the student miss class (gifted enrichment and music lessons being two examples but traveling for sports, speech, or music can also cause you to miss class time). My youngest was missing 40% of her class time in math last year without me knowing about it. I put a stop to it. That is one class she cannot miss.

[seabeyond]

20. this is sons challenge. soph yr, he made varsity cross country, all AP or preAP

courses. and they have no qualms leaving in a school day or having meet they dont get home from until after 12 on a school night. i still insist kids get a good night sleep before school, lol.

i have another in 7th taking preap pre alg.

i have hired tutors for both. no way in hell i am learning this stuff to help them. not gonna happen. lol. all you say... ok. clueless. and dont want to try.

it is hard. my oldest is so tired. tough. lol. not making him do cc. there were various options i gave him. and he is choosing to work hard at all. varsity. AP. i was in competitive swimming, morning and afternoon practice.... year around. very serious. i know what he experiences. i tell him, i would think... all i do is work. then on other hand, i was so proud of my successes and hard work adn what i accomplished. taught me a lot.

but, on the other hand, we have skyward. i see what they are going to need to do and what they havent done and how they are progressing in class. and i have accessable email to all teachers. those are lifesavers. been using a lot last couple weeks.

[Mariana]

39. I had to teach my stepdaughter to prioritize homework

in high school because she was getting WAY too much of it. She was getting physically sick from lack of sleep.

"First, do stuff that you need to do in order to learn or better understand the material. Second, do stuff that counts heavily toward your grades. Third, IF you're not tired and you feel like doing it, do the bullshit busywork that is an utter waste of your time. We expect you, as a high school student, to be able to figure out the difference, but if you're not sure how to classify a particular assignment, come ask one of us and we'll help you decide.

It rattled her cage a bit to hear her dad and me tell her that we really didn't care much about what letters or numbers got printed on the report card (although we expected her to pass), and that what we wanted was that she learn the material and learn it well.

My younger daughter is in high school now, in a different district. So far I've been pleased with the homework she's had. The vast majority of it has been relevant and useful, and she has plenty of free time left over when it's done.

[sandnsea]

37. Yeah well, I don't live in the south for a reason n/t

[Neurotica]

3. One conference does not make an involved parent

An involved parent is by definition engaged with their child on a continual basis. I just don't think threats will work...

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. First they need to go after the ones who don't provide contact info

That's a more serious problem, IMO. I had one student who had 2 addresses and 5 phone numbers on file at school. None were accurate. She got sick one day and the school had to call 911.

[Dappleganger]

12. As always, punishing the poor.

That's right, throw them in jail--that'll teach 'em!

:sarcasm:

[GreenPartyVoter]

22. Yep. How dare they have kids they can't afford to take time off of work for?

Seriously, this is not the way to get parents involved. :(

[FiveGoodMen]

13. Ya Vol, Mein fuhrer!

Which country and what decade are we living in, again?

[MineralMan]

14. Now there's a really, really bad idea.

Some sort of positive reinforcement would be a much better way to getting people to the meetings, I'd think. What good would throwing a poor parent in jail do, anyhow? Maybe providing some transportation to the meetings, or turning those mass conference sessions into a potluck would work out better. While mentoring a 14 year old kid through Big Brother/Big Sister, my wife and I realized that his mother could not go to such a conference, because she had no transportation to it. Her son's school was about 5 miles from the place she lived.

We helped by offering to take her to any conference at any time. We could do that because we're self-employed. She eagerly accepted, and over the two years we mentored that boy, we took her to every conference. Between that and our direct encouragement with the kid, the boy's grades began to go up. Sadly, they moved out of the area, so we lost that contact.

Transportation, health issues, work schedules, child care, and other factors play a large role in keeping parents away from conferences, which aren't necessarily scheduled for the convenience of the parents. Single parents have the hardest time, because they often have other children who must be cared for and have no resources to have someone else do it.

Some, of course, are apathetic, but I suspect most are not, but are simply unable to participate.

[exboyfil]

21. On the childcare side

At the elementary level we provide childcare during the conference. Won't do a lot of good for those with elementary and junior/senior high kids though.

We talk about single parents, but there are really very few single parent children (children who have had one parent pass away). Where is the other parent?

I wonder if any surveys have been done to determine causes for failure of parents to participate. Freakonomics had an interesting discussion about two different approaches to child rearing. One (those parents most likely to be involved in conferences) programs their childrens' time. I am most like this group. The other group has a more organic approach (my parents).

An interesting question is when you disagree with the teacher's approach. I disagreed so much I pulled my younger daughter out and Homeschooled her in that subject. My teacher sister-in-law refers to my type as a helicopter parent. I am happy to inform her that my older daughter (9th grade) needs to spend little time with me anymore on her studies. It is her life - she can practice the violin if she wants to or doesn't want to. I don't care. I still ask her if she needs help in math and science, but she needs little of either anymore.

[mitchum]

17. One school district saw a huge upsurge in parent conferences when they...

offered Wal Mart gift cards to those who attended.
Hmmmm....priorities...
Just another shiny Band-Aid to cover a very serious wound.

[exboyfil]

19. The follow up question

Did the kids do any better in school?

[Xithras]

23. You can't legislate good parenting.

My wife has a kindergartener this year who's mother refers to her as "my little pain in the ass" or "missy". When my wife asked the girl where her "missy" nickname came from, the FIVE YEAR OLD told her that "it's short for mistake. My mommy doesn't like me".

The world is full of assholes who have no business being parents :mad:

[seabeyond]

24. yes. and the teachers are paying dearly for it.

my niece was named winter, cause she was born in winter and dark, cold and gloomy. mother has no issue at all telling that story.

[October]

25. Ever listen to teachers in their lounge?

I get tired of the bashing of parents by teachers around here.

Before you flame me, I have to (favorite) relatives who are professional teachers.

My husband and I were floored by the way teachers talked about the kids and their families. They "forgot" he was a visitor because he'd been there all day as a guest conducting a writing lesson. He enjoyed it so much, he stayed for the after school writers' group. No fee was paid to him or anything like that -- he was just a guest who had something to share with the students.

These broad-brush paintings of parents is unnerving. How would you like for me to say, "The world is full of assholes who have no business being teachers"?

[seabeyond]

26. there are teachers i have stood strongly in front of.... and probably dont think much of me

probably saying all kinds of things in the teachers lounge.

i. dont. care.

my priority is my kids education, not if a teacher likes me.

that is a huge, .... so what.

[exboyfil]

30. My biggest go around was with my younger daughter's

6th grade elementary teacher. My older daughter had her as well. My older daughter was not placed in Pre-Algebra (called 8th grade Honors), and she had to skip into Algebra by passing a test in 7th. I started the year with my youngest daughter telling the teacher my one goal for my daughter was to get into Pre-Algebra in 7th grade. Fastforward 2/3s of the year - I find that she is out of math instruction 40% of the time for music/speech/etc. I felt betrayed, and when I told the teacher she said well she is doing fine. The teacher then proceeded to not give a recommendation for Pre-Algebra. Lots of activity after that, but she did get into Pre-Algebra and has a B+ right now.

I also continue to go around with the administrator who handles acceleration. Four times now I have had different levels of resistance, and one more to go. It is incredible how much power these individuals have to shape the future of our children without accountability.

You stand up for your kids. The system will not. Their goal is to develop drones for the future.

As students graduate from the XXX Schools they will be:

Competent in essential skills
Complex thinkers
Effective communicators
Competent users of technology
Contributing citizens
Lifelong learners
Collaborative workers

Nothing about being entrepreneurs, risk takers, and critical thinkers. I am not sure I know what a complex thinker is.

[Xithras]

28. I would say "You're entirely correct".

I know tons of people who should never, ever consider a teaching career. They don't have the personalities or temperance for the job, and would end up with miserable and poorly educated students. Luckily, they all chose careers in other fields.

I also have known many people who should have never became parents, and for the same reasons. They have priorities, personalities, and temperances that are unsuited for parenting. Heck, I have people in my own FAMILY who have no business being parents. One of my sisters regularly tells her 13 year old daughter, "Only 5 more years until I can throw your ass out of the house and get my freedom back!" She's never liked being a parent and has generally foisted my neice off on anyone who would watch her while she went clubbing, or to concerts, or to hang out with her various boyfriends.

I'm not quite sure what you see as offensive about that. Some people shouldn't be parents. Some people shouldn't be teachers. Some people shouldn't be firefighters. Some people shouldn't be fishermen. It's silly to assume that all people are suited for all roles in life.

[exboyfil]

31. Yes but when you have a child you have an obligation

that is when self sacrifice enters into it. I feel so sorry for your niece - what an awful situation, and I hate to say it, your sister is an awful person for doing that to her daughter. I have a 13 and 14 year old, and I would die for them in a heartbeat. What could be so wrong in your sister's wiring that she cannot also see that?

[Xithras]

33. Sure, we all have obligations. Most of these people fulfull theirs.

My sister, despite her faults, provides my neice with food, shelter, and clothing. She doesn't physically abuse her, and meets all of the perfunctory obligations of parenthood.

That doesn't mean she has to be happy about it. My sister got pregnant by a one night stand a week after she turned 18, and she's never been thrilled about the whole parenthood thing. When she was younger, she'd regularly say that she didn't want kids. She once confessed to me that she only HAD her because my stepmom found out about the pregnancy and announced it to the family before she could have an abortion. Once that happened, she didn't want to deal with the humiliation of admitting that she'd aborted it (fwiw, we suspect that was the entire point of our stepmom announcing it).

There is no requirement that you love your child, or that you enjoy parenthood. As for maternal bonds, there have been plenty of studies showing that a substantial percentage of mothers do not EVER develop those bonds with their children. There are biological reasons for this (related to problems with oxytocin uptake), and psychological reasons for this (look up 'maternal narcissism'). Whatever the reason, some mothers simply aren't "maternal", and no laws are going to change that.

[exboyfil]

34. A far cry from being maternal

and telling your child that he/she is not loved. I cannot even imagine the psychological impact of doing that. Granted its better than physically abusing a child, but it will leave lasting scars all the same.

Sorry to be on a soapbox, but I really think we are more than a collection of chemicals programmed to behave in a certain fashion.

[Xithras]

36. To be fair, it's not just towards my niece.

My sister is now 32 years old has has never had a serious relationship in her life. She's never dated a guy longer than a few months before kicking him to the curb. She was having dinner at my house once, and said to me and my wife, "Guys are sappy. You sleep with them for a couple of months and they suddenly get into all of that foo foo love shit, wanting to talk about babies and marriage and crap." That's apparently the point where she walks away.

People with poor maternal instincts generally have trouble establishing close and personal relationships with ANYONE. I used to think that my dad and I were the only ones she was close to, but I sometimes question whether even that is true. Now and then, I get the impression that she just puts up with us because we're useful to her.

A kid born to a parent with a personality like that is doomed to an unhappy childhood. Sadly, lots of kids are born to parents just like her.

[seabeyond]

35. absolutely. i have examples in my life where father is the nurturer

and last decade have seen a couple mothers that are totally void of it. was beyond experience, but interesting in learning.

[treestar]

27. How much jail space do they have?

Ridiculous proposal.

[Posteritatis]

29. Imagine - a person whose job it is to prosecute people wanting more people to prosecute. (nt)

[liberalhistorian]

32. When you're a hammer, or given the power of a hammer,

everything starts to look like a nail. Wonder if the prosecutor is in cahoots with a private "corrections" corporation, like the two PA judges last year?

[Hannah Bell]

38. yeah, the threat of jail time will really get them "involved". what a stupid idea.

[maryf]

40. We already have 25% of the world's incarcerated people

let's make that higher, sheesh, many parents can't make meetings because they are working multiple jobs...or can't afford child care...

[DailyGrind51]

41. YES! Because those parents who don't attend are usually the first ones to gripe about their kids'

teachers!

[Mariana]

42. The kids will go into foster care while the parents are locked up

I suppose. That'll improve their school performance for sure.

[Sabriel]

43. Another brilliant idea from a middle-class person

I'm assuming Ms. Worthy has always had reliable transportation, enough to eat, and adequate health care.

And I'm guessing that the education system worked pretty well for her and her family.

Not so for other folks, so it's no wonder some people are disengaged from "education."