Girlfriend (Dem) voting for Whitman

[vercetti2021]

WTF!? Am i seriously dreaming, my girlfriend of 4 years who voted for Obama in '08 is about to vote for the nutmeg?! I seriously went on a rant about meg telling her what i think and why the hell is she voting for her and not Jerry Brown, she gives me the response, "I vote who i want no one tells me who to vote for" I'm like um so your a democrat about to vote for a crazy power hungry repuke? Wow you have no common sense i said, now i'm in the dog house, wtf is she thinking.

But it won't matter anyway Jerry Brown is going to win anyway. Good Job CA love that state.

[tammywammy]

1. Did you ask her why?

Or just go into a rant against Meg?

[vercetti2021]

6. both

I went on a rant against meg and asked why the hell she would vote for her, and her response was she isn't that bad as the other guy.

[tammywammy]

10. Well honestly once you started ranting why would your gf want to continue to conversation?

Maybe tomorrow you could calmly ask her why and discuss it with her?

[vercetti2021]

12. Yeah

I will just was shocking to hear that made me pissed off, since i just voted today i was happy.

[boston bean]

42. Let me guess you started off with, "are you fucking crazy!!!!!!" LOL

[pgodbold]

47. Time to say... Buh-bye (and mean it) cause she don't have walkin' around smarts. nt

seriously dude cut your loses.

[JDPriestly]

33. Here is how you talk to voters, any voter.

First you calmly ask them who they are going to vote for or what their issues are. Then you ask them calmly why they have decided to vote for the candidate they have chosen. Listen carefully and calmly. Do not interrupt no matter how long they go on until they definitely have finished or ask you a question.

Respect their opinion. Remember, no matter what you think of it, their opinion is their opinion and therefore it is just as valid as yours.

When you respond, respond in the first person. Oh, I'm voting for Jerry Brown, and here is why. Concede the points that the other person has raised if they are true. For example, "Well, the Whitman ads accuse Brown of ......"

Then calmly say, and remember - calmly, and use the first person, "I have read ....(a fact that proves that Whitman's fact is either false or unimportant), so in spite of that ad, I decided to vote for Brown." Say something you think is really key for you. Explain the real reason you prefer Brown.

Always let the other person talk and vent first and really listen while they speak no matter how much you disagree. You will learn a lot and only when you understand what their decision is based on, can you respond in a helpful way.

Don't put the other person on the defensive by making them feel you think they are stupid because they want to vote for a candidate you don't like. Be patient.

Above all, remain calm at all times. You make your candidate look bad if you get angry. You can lose friends that way.

Really read up on the platforms and backgrounds of the candidates before talking about them. Never, never put the other person down. Always be calm. Be a good listener.

Remember, people identify with the political ideas and personalities they support. And becoming politically smart, getting an education about the choices in elections, takes a lot of time, more time than most people have. You want to be helpful to the other person, your girlfriend, your mother. You want to be a patient educator. So the first rule is to listen carefully before you react or berate the other person.

I'm not writing this very coherently because it is so late. But I hear so many people say, "Oh, the folks in my office or my family or my neighbors don't want to discuss politics."

That is not true. It never is. What people don't want is to hear your opinions. What they do want is to talk about their opinions. And when they have finished, that's when you get your chance. You have to be patient and listen. I can't repeat that enough.

You can educate people, but only if you show them a lot of respect.

[BlueDemKev]

59. Is she at least voting for Boxer???

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. That is shocking...

I expect you're in the doghouse more for the way you said what you said. If you'd been calmer.....but I know that's really difficult!

Yeah, Jerry's winning...

I wonder too what your gf is thinking? Whitman would make a terrible governor. She would make Ahnold look like a genius...

[jezebel]

3. Time to break up with her.

Just kidding.

[Ramulux]

4. Does she give any reason why?

At this point I dont think that there is literally a single reason to vote for her. I cant think of any valid reason to vote for her that cant be taken apart in like a minute. Either way, that sucks.

[lolly]

56. Republicans push the gender button here

A certain wing of the Republican party has been pushing hard to convince women voters that, if they're REAL feminists, they'll vote for the Republican woman.

There's someone who posts regularly on Huffpost--can't remember her name--but she's obviously a hired shill trying desperately to convince women that any criticism of Republican women candidates is a sexist outrage, and they should stand up for women by voting for all those candidates (Palin, Brewer, O'Donnell, Whitman, etc.) She went to town with the "whore" non-issue.

I'm guessing only about 20 or 30 women have actually fallen for this. Maybe your gf is one of them!

[flamingdem]

5. sorry to hear that, ouch! nt

[gateley]

7. What are her reasons? nt

[vercetti2021]

8. lol

The only reason she gave me was shes not as bad as the other guy.

[gateley]

20. Boy, is she wrong! I wonder what made her come to that conclusion? nt

[JDPriestly]

34. If that is the only reason she gave, you did not listen carefully or

patiently enough.

[Bluenorthwest]

40. So you date a box of rocks?

To each his own.

[HughMoran]

49. I guess some people do fall for those sleazy right-wing commercials

:mad:

[MilesColtrane]

51. Do you think the candidate's gender plays into her decision?

[cynatnite]

9. Time for some flowers...

Telling her she had no common sense is a good reason for you to be in the dog house :)

Let her vote for who she wants and leave it at that. Whitman's not going to win so voting for her isn't that big of a deal. Keeping peace in the house and your relationship intact is.

I don't blame your frustration. My husband of 21 years still gets some repub ideas that drive me batshit crazy.

[vercetti2021]

11. Yeah...

I regret saying that but yeah, i see your point.

[madmax]

16. Misread your post the first time

Ok, this is your 'girlfriend'. If you love her, it's time for groveling and flowers. You were a little snarky to her. Good luck, hope it all works out for the best.

[vercetti2021]

17. Amen

Its going to be one hell of a christmas when shes here, i'll never hear the end of it.

[madmax]

18. Goveling - lots of it ;)

[scarletwoman]

13. Long distance relationships are tough. Is she originally from Texas?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm wondering if she's just more used to the idea of voting for Republicans because of her background.

[vercetti2021]

15. Nope

Sadly shes a native californian but her mom is a republican which i think has a lot to do with it, meh just was shocking to hear it i felt a cringe up my spine when she said it, also shes mexican american.

[madmax]

14. Lost a friend of 20 years because she would not

listen to facts or reason. She voted for McCain/The shiller from Wasilla. :wow:

[crim son]

19. I know what you mean.

My exbf and I went through a lot of shit before we broke and most of it is forgettable; the one thing that stands out in my mind, that was truly horrible, is the time when he told me he thought Glenn Beck was worth listening to. Until he said that, I thought he was a bright fellow; afterward, I never really thought that again and it was downhill from then on.

[vercetti2021]

21. Ouch

Thats harsh.

[Nye Bevan]

50. Wow. You broke a 20 year friendship over how she voted?

Here's a better solution: don't talk about politics. There is a lot of other stuff to talk about. I have absolutely no idea how some of my long-term friends vote.

[Drunken Irishman]

22. Dump her.

[pinboy3niner]

23. Big mistake: trying to control her

She has as much right as you do to her feelings, opinions and decisions.

Even if the result had been the same AFTER you'd had a civil political discussion about the candidates and their pros and cons, you each have the right to arrive at your own conclusions, opinions and decisions. If you disagree, it doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong. It just means you have different opinions.

Interesting that, from your account, she doesn't seem to display the same intolerance for your political opinion as you do for hers. That's something you might do some self-exploration about (while putting the politics aside entirely).

We may be focused intensely on politics right now, but what you're raising is really a relationship issue, not a political issue. For both males and females and everything in between, it's a matter of respecting your partner--even when you think your partner is wrong.

Just something to think about...

BTW, politically I'm with you 100 percent--your partner is NUTS! :)

[BlueCheese]

24. Generally, I think it's not a good idea to lose friendships over politics.

People's politics change. Yours might even change. Of course there are some positions you could never accommodate--maybe you just can't date someone who thinks Bush was a good president--but by and large, friendships and partners are worth saving, in my humble opinion.

Personally, and I know this will be an unpopular opinion here, Meg Whitman doesn't seem so bad to me, at least as Republicans go. If every Republican were more like her, and less like the socially conservative fundamentalists and anti-government absolutists who seem to control the GOP these days, the country would be in a lot better shape. There's always going to be another party, so it helps if the people in charge of it are at least halfway sane. I think I'd take her and Fiorina over at least 38 of the 41 current GOP senators, for example.

[Trocadero]

25. it's over

[Angry Dragon]

26. Time for a new girlfriend

She will just disappoint you more down the road.

[vercetti2021]

30. na

Not going to let politics ruin it.

[Luminous Animal]

27. Your girlfriend is not a Democrat. And that is that.

[Beacool]

28. You told her that she had no common sense?

I don't blame her for being mad.

:(

[vercetti2021]

29. I know

I regret saying that but i said it out of frustration.

[Beacool]

53. Politics is not all in life.

If you love the girl and politics is affecting your relationship, just skip talking too much about it. There are plenty of "mixed" marriages out there, politically speaking, they just agree to disagree. It preserves the peace at home.

:D

PS, it beats sleeping on the couch.

}(

[cascadiance]

31. After approaching her more calmly ask her who she voted for the senate, Boxer or Fiorina?

If she voted for Fiorina, I think she's a lost cause, and perhaps what the other poster said about breaking up might be in order. Just kidding, though then you would have a more serious job on your hands.

But if she voted for Boxer, then ask her why she voted for Boxer over Fiorina. Then use her own logic from that discussion in analyzing the race for governor and poke into her logic there if it is inconsistent. If you think it is a "vote for the woman" thing, that might come out here. But perhaps by getting her to get back to her Democratic roots in how she voted for other races like the Senate race, you can get her to think rationally again and realize she made a terrible mistake.

[vercetti2021]

32. Yeah

Breaking up over this isn't going to happen, but she likes meg because she started ebay....What she told me awhile ago. I'll ask her tomorrow if she voted for Fiorina (god forbid she didn't i hope) If she did then i'll just say your republican then.

[pinboy3niner]

36. NO!

You're only asking for more trouble if you question her on her other political choices.

The point is that she has a right to her choices, even if they're stupid and you don't agree.

What I think you ought to talk to her about is respecting each other's choices.

It's to your credit that you're willing to stick with a partner despite political differences. More power to you!

But, at the same time, you should take a hard look at your own intolerance of her choices. Does she have a right to form her own opinions, or doesn't she? Even if ill-informed and stupid?

As I said above, this is a relationship question, not a political one. I think you're on he right track. You may be on the verge of an AHA moment...

[Bluenorthwest]

41. Meg did not found ebay.

She worked there.

[hfojvt]

44. it seems to me

that she may be voting for the female candidate over the male one, even though she may not want to admit that her choice is based on gender more than anything else. With Boxer vs. Fiorina, the contest is female vs. female so a gender preference is neutralized.

[cascadiance]

46. And that's why if she picked the Democrat, she might have used better reasons in that race...

... and therefore if he lets her tell him the logic, then he lets her tell him that she's a good Democrat in that race, which he can agree with and say something like "you did well there!" in an effort to let her think out loud to herself how her oversimplifying the reasons to vote for Meg might have been wrong, and not have him telling her that outright which would put her on the defensive.

If she gets really defensive about not talking about who she voted for, then back off and don't press the point, but perhaps remind her in closing why she voted for all of the other Democrats and to think hard how that applies to how she voted for the governor's race, or perhaps drop it altogether and just let her think about things... Ultimately she should know that he is pretty passionate about getting Democrats in power too, and should realize that he's not voting for Brown just because he's a man over a woman too.

It seems like the parties are testing us now if we oversimplify our voting process by putting forth minority and different gender choices that have us focus on whether someone is a woman or a minority in who we vote for rather than what they are actually wanting to do. I think the Democrats had that last election with their presidential nomination process too and it heavily divided us.

The day that a huge number of Republican women won primaries, I made a thread on this note and got criticized as if I was doing something more misogynist, which wasn't my goal. Even Laura Flanders on her show was making the same point, and she's far from being a misogynist. I'm guessing that theme plays out a lot in this election, and hopefully people will step back and vote based on the fundamental issues and not just on people's gender, racial identity, or other personal attributes of candidates.

It was kind of weird in the election many years back when my sister voted for Arnold Scharzenneger and I voted for Bustamante. I realized then that we both voted more on issues and that she was less of a Democrat/progressive than I was, as had we voted on how we felt about him as an actor, we might have both voted opposite of what we did, as I was a big fan of the movies he was in, and she wasn't. But then again, I'm not married to her, she's just my sister, so I have to deal with her political perspective being different than mine. I think this time around she's voted for Brown, but am not too sure. I sincerely hope that she voted for Boxer though. Having worked in the online music business that got directly affected negatively by Fiorina's stupid decision to OEM Apple's Ipod, I have personal reasons as well as political reasons to want to keep her out of office.

[JDPriestly]

35. I would also suggest that you read the book, Non-Violent Communication

by Marshall Rosenberg. It gives tips on how to communicate with people with whom you have conflicts or with whom you disagree.

[housewolf]

37. Ask her

just how does she think Meg Whitman will be able to do any better job than Arnold as Gov of Calif. How does she think Meg Whitman will be any more able to work with the Dem state legislature...

Seems to me Calif has already tried 6 years of having a non-politician trying to run the state and it hasn't been a pretty picture.

[WVRICK13]

38. That Would End The Relationship

for me. I couldn't share my life with an idiot.

[scheming daemons]

39. Sounds like you acted like a dick.

Not the best way to get her to change her mind.

[Stevenmarc]

43. Dump her

[givemebackmycountry]

45. Indeed, dump her.

It's like you are a Red Sox fan (and she knows it) and comes home one day in a Yankees T-shirt.
Baby, this just ain't going to work out.

LOL- just being silly.

[mitchum]

48. Throw her back...there are plenty of much smarter fish in the sea

[madmax]

52. Ah, but Love, love, amore - will over come. :) nt

[madmax]

54. Wow, you 'dump her' crowd

are ruthless. Just sayin ;) I've dumped guys for less. For instance one had the ugliest toe nails. Must have been some sort of fungus but, I didn't know that at the time and they just creeped me out to no freggin end! So who am I to talk. :evilgrin:

[AnArmyVeteran]

55. It should be titled 'EX-girlfriend'.

I believe you could have approached the subject with a bit more tact, but I understand how frustrating it must have been to find out your girlfriend has one foot on the dark side. It's like that scene in the original 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' when the boyfriend realizes his girlfriend has become a pod person. It must have been a traumatic moment.

Doesn't she see the cruelty exhibited by Whitman or how that arrogant billionaire discarded her long time house cleanser like used trash? I don't understand how any woman could vote for someone who exhibits so many sociopathic tendencies.

I wish you luck with your girlfriend. I've always been attracted to women with a heart and a good mind, and anything else (like being hot) I considered a bonus. Your girlfriend either doesn't fully understand Whitman or she agrees with her positions and her hateful behavior. That's a very revealing insite into her mind and heart if she finds it acceptable for a billionaire to treat a female house cleaner like a piece of garbage.

Please don't make any decisions based on what me or others post about your girlfriend. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not trying to suggest you end your relationship or anything. I hope she sees the light before next Tuesday and realizes how she would be voting for someone who is her enemy.

All the best...

[TexasObserver]

57. She's not a Democrat if she's voting for Whitman.

And if her mother is Hispanic and she's voting for Whitman, she's one of the few Hispanics in California to do so.

Do you really want to have a relationship with someone who can rationalize voting for Whitman? At a minimum, you know that her brain doesn't work very well.

[beac]

58. Show her these articles:

At eBay, Whitman Was Known for Fierce Temper
Former employees say her angry outbursts and imperious management style raise questions about how she’d govern
“She makes up her mind on as little information as possible to get to the conclusion she wants,” said Brad Handler, eBay’s associate general counsel and director of law and public policy from 1997 until 2001. “She does not move off her position once she has staked it out. She does not tolerate dissent. She had no interest in government while I was there. She operates like one of the boys in an old boys’ network. She gets people who are extremely loyal to her, surrounds herself with that bubble, and that is the only information she wants to hear.”
http://www.baycitizen.org/governors-race/story/ebay-whitman-was-known-fierce-temper/


How Meg Whitman Failed Her Way to the Top at eBay, Collecting Billions While Nearly Destroying the Company
Former CEO Whitman's record of gross incompetence, massive waste and personal enrichment is breathtaking. That the media isn't talking about it is incredible.
Meg Whitman's record in the corporate world reads like a laundry list of failure: it's a resume marked by fraud, gross incompetence, wasteful spending and gross disregard for anyone's interests but her own.
http://www.alternet.org/news/148629/how_meg_whitman_failed_her_way_to_the_top_at_ebay%2C_collecting_billions_while_nearly_destroying_the_company/


California candidate for governor disses Detroit
It takes quite a bit of gall for Whitman to bemoan conditions in Detroit when she played a role in helping to create similar conditions in other parts of America.
During her time on the board of Goldman Sachs, the firm invested $140 billion in mortgage-backed securities – the investments at the heart of the housing market collapse and the financial meltdown. If you live in Detroit chances are that you or someone you know has lost a job or home as a result of the economic turmoil caused by folks like Whitman.
http://www.freep.com/article/20100923/BLOG24/100923002


And then this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSLoTJySZmg&feature=related

[BlueDemKev]

60. Is she at least voting for Boxer???

If she's also voting for Fiorna, it may be a sign that she's not quite the right fit for you.

[JNelson6563]

61. Sorry but you're girlfriend's an idiot.

But some like 'em dumb.

Julie