Tampons. Be afraid, be very afraid.

[sufrommich]

GOP Representative Louie Gohmert,(R-TX) warned of a nefarious plot to sneak explosives on board airplanes using women's tampons. Gohmert learned of the plot, he explained to Fox News' Fox and Friends host Gretchen Carlson, while flying from Texas to DC. "Two 20ish Muslims sitting next to me were speaking in a foreign language and pointing at an attractive woman woman across the aisle from us (we were on SouthWest). It was then that I noticed what appeared to a be fuse between her legs." A mortified Carlson probed for further information asking "Well did you alert the proper authorities?" Gohmert sheepishly admitted he did not saying "No, through the rest of the flight I became increasingly concerned as my stares only seemed to make the woman more nervous and the two Muslims, obviously seeing that I was about to ruin their plot became more and more agitated. Luckily I had them arrested on the spot when we landed."



A flustered Gretchen Carlson agreed with Gohmert and pointed out that today's "over sexed youth" use tampons instead of sanitary napkins because of the feeling.



Gohmert acknowledged that the FBI was not yet examining the case, but assured Carlson that American public need not worry saying: "Gretchen I'm over at the TSA everyday screaming bloody murder over these tampon bombs and I'm going to give them a monthly visit until TSA has put in appropriate procedures to counter this growing tampon threat."


http://www.redesign.rumormiller.com/story.php?title=gops-gohmert-warns-tsa-about-tampon-bombers



I haven't been able to find another source,so take this as a maybe true story,maybe not.


* I'm pretty sure this is satire. Although it's so hard to tell these days.

[JVS]

1. Tampons: the devil's little cotton fingers

[madmax]

20. lol nt

[Ian David]

22. TAMPONS: "Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!"

TAMPONS:
"Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!"
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html

[rox63]

2. WTF?

Here's what really got me: "over sexed youth use tampons instead of sanitary napkins because of the feeling"

What kinda wierdo gets off on tampons? :crazy:

[seabeyond]

3. it is fox's way of treating women/girls with any story they can.... nt

[sufrommich]

4. Someone who has never used one. nt

[truth2power]

30. Thank you. What nonsense. You can't feel a tampon if it's inserted properly. eom

[dflprincess]

53. And I can't think of many things more uncomfortable than

a tampon that has not been inserted properly. I don't recall living with that sensation more than a second or two.

[Jamastiene]

66. OMG, that's horrible.

Hate it when that happens.

[woo me with science]

5. Prince Charles? nt

[sufrommich]

9. lol. Forgot about that one. nt

[HughBeaumont]

10. FTW!

And with Camilla Parker Bowles as the . . . docking station . . . :puke:

[blondeatlast]

35. Eeeeuuuuuuwwwww.... nt

[lapislzi]

26. Please send new monitor by return post n/t

[RavensChick]

56. n/t

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[myrna minx]

11. .

[Coventina]

14. While no one can definitively state for every woman who has ever used a tampon

I would be SHOCKED if even as many as one percent of women would state that they use tampons because they feel sexy!

Good grief! When properly used, you can't feel them at all! When they're improperly positioned they HURT!

I'm hoping this is a bogus story!

I join you with the :crazy:
and I'll add :eyes:

[uncommon]

42. Who the fuck said that? That is insane.

Ugh. How about they use them because it's 100x less uncomfortable and disgusting?

[CTyankee]

52. That tells me a LOT about Gretchen's sex life!

I wonder if her hubby measures up...

[RavensChick]

55. Wow.

All the more reason why I'm in my 40's and pads are the way to go!

Just the thought of a tampon used that way is beyond sick!

[HughBeaumont]

6. Um . . .

. . . a story so amazingly fear-mongering and paranoid on so many levels . . . I . . . really don't know what to do but stare and blink. A lot.

[sadbear]

7. You know how you can tell this is satire?

When you click on the link, the first sentence of the first paragraph starts "Moderate GOP Representative Louie Gohmert,(R-TX)..." Louie Gohmert "Pyle" is no moderate.

[TwilightGardener]

8. OK, the last quote--gotta be a joke.

[sufrommich]

13. Yeah, that's why I put the disclaimer at the bottom. The whole

thing seems a little over the top to me, even for teabaggers.

[Gormy Cuss]

12. I wish that I could laugh at this wonderful piece of satire but... n/t

[Canuckistanian]

15. How long before Gohmert is declared insane?

I say sometime before March, he'll be found in a fetal position under his desk, whimpering something about "Terror McNuggets".

[RavensChick]

57. My money is on February!

Place your bets! :-)

[a la izquierda]

16. yep, i get aroused every time i use tampons

what the fuck is wrong with these old fart men constantly thinking about women's body parts? jesus, that's all they live for. i don't sit around all day thinking about old men's penises. hell, i don't even think about my husband's parts all that much.

[Arkansas Granny]

17. Good grief. How long was that "fuse" or how short the woman's skirt if

it could be spotted across the aisle?

[truth2power]

28. My first thought, too. I can't even visualize that. n/t

[blondeatlast]

36. No kidding. WTF? nt

[uppityperson]

46. Its the New Improved Tampon with the 3 ft long string!

That way you can tie it to your belt so in case it drops out you won't lose it and be able to reinsert it!!!!111

[gkhouston]

67. It's a security string to keep thieves from stealing your tampon! n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

69. UGGH

that was funny, but bad.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

18. This smelled "Onion-y" from the start

But when I got to the part about "a fuse," I spit-taked some coffee on the monitor screen.

C'mon! It's not like the string's three feet long! :silly:

[dawg]

19. Gotta be satire, but ..

what a sad reflection it is on how far we have fallen as a country that shit such as this is now readily believable.

[lapislzi]

21. This is the Onion, right? Right?

Help me out here.

The growing tampon threat. They're in my dresser right now, nefariously plotting away. Super Plus is the ringleader. Super and Regular take their orders from her. Slender Regular is the backup reinforcement.

Sanitary napkins, led by Overnight, are launching a brave counteroffensive. Legions of panty liners are lining up for battle.

It's expected to be a bloody conflict.

[sufrommich]

23. lol. nt

[drmeow]

47. LOL!

[polmaven]

24. This HAS to be a joke!!

It was then that I noticed what appeared to a be fuse between her legs."

Umm...was she nekkid and sitting with her legs wide open? Of course this is a joke! ....Isn't it?

[lapislzi]

25. Killer tampons of doom

Hide your wives! Hide your daughters! Hide your husbands, too, cause, you know, ain't no safe orifice.

[Hubert Flottz]

27. Well my toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon

Joe the Plumber Sez never flush a tampoon
This great information cost me half a week's pay
Any my toilet blew up later on the next day
yay yay yay blew up the next day yay yay yay

Flakes Flakes

Blew up the next day yay yay yay blew up the next day

[MineralMan]

29. This is complete bullshit.

[LynneSin]

31. I actually snuck home Cuban Cigars in a Tampon box but that was back in 2000

I figured Customs wouldn't open up the box to assure they were tampons and I was right. A friend asked if I could bring some home from Costa Rica (where they do sell Cuban Cigars).

[Catherine Vincent]

49. LOL!

That was pretty clever!

[LynneSin]

51. they just about fit in the wrapper of extra-supers tampex

mind you the cigars were longer but we opened the box at the one end so you'd only see the tops. Make sure you get scented tampex so it helps mask some of the odor of the cigars. Actually the guy didn't even bother opening the box.

[w8liftinglady]

32. Dear lord...as a texan and tampon-wearer,I apologize.

This is typical of the male repub...

"horrific"..and yet,he probably gets his private jollies from this

....must look at pretty picture....remove thought...

[LynneSin]

33. I've used tampons since I was 14 because THEY AREN'T MESSY

I hated the other stuff because well, it felt like I was wearing a diaper.

I can't believe I was oversexed at age 14??!!!

:grr:

[LynneSin]

34. Louie Gohmert is probably jealous that a regular tampon is bigger than his dick

:grr:

[RavensChick]

59. That's a good one!

Think of a vienna sausage and you have his teeny weeny soldier!

[NoNothing]

37. Hey guys, you know what's weird?

I checked just now and "gullible" isn't in the dictionary!

[MorningGlow]

38. A joke certainly, but wait...

will that sort of thing show up on body scans? And if so, what would a more lunk-headed TSA worker think of a sighting? :shrug:

[bvar22]

39. Ah-HAAAAA!!!! I KNEW it!!!@!

The whole Monthly Cycle thing is just a BIG LIE so that women can pleasure themselves!!!!

[lapislzi]

40. Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "who lit the fuse on your tampon?" n/t

[MadHound]

41. Sorry, but just from this article Louie Gohmert appears to be one strange, sick puppy

I mean really, what is the dude doing so in order that he could see "a fuse between her legs"? Methinks some upskirt peeping.

And his fascination with how women "feel" with a tampon. I'm a guy, and yet even I know that at best a tampon gives women no feeling, and at worst hurts(actually at worst it can kill a woman, but that's a whole other thread).

This dude is just another obsessed perv, sadly he is an obsessed perv with a modicum of political power, always a dangerous thing. Should we start a pool on how long before Louie is caught in a compromising position with a "fuse" hanging out his ass?

[RavensChick]

61. Not long.

Then again, have someone make a cake shaped like a tampon and bet on how long he either eats it, shoot at it, or strip naked and slosh it all over his body to get off!

[Xenotime]

43. This is a product of our oversexed masculine society.

[hedgehog]

44. Please, please, please, someone tell me this is a joke!

[dixiegrrrrl]

45. "Luckily I had them arrested on the spot when we landed."

Ok, so 2 "muslims" of undescribed sex were 'pointing" to ...their "terra-ist" accomplice?
then

"the two Muslims, obviously seeing that I was about to ruin their plot became more and more agitated."

so our brave congress moron "had them arrested" but the FBI has not looked into it, even tho there was a "fuse' sticking out of a woman's private area????

and then he is going to give TSA '"a monthly visit " until TSA has put in appropriate procedures to counter this growing tampon threat."

Goemert, he of the "terrorists babies"...remember them?


My sides are killing me here!!!!!!!!

[arbusto_baboso]

48. Gohmert. Dude. it's not a fuse. It's the string.

The clueless fuckbasket knows so little about women, I wonder if he's ever been laid.

[Joanne98]

50. LOL

[Withywindle]

54. Wow, a lot of people fell into the sarchasm here.

Although, I guess after the "Great Balls of Fire" underwear bomber, I can see how some people--already inclined to think that lady parts are scary and dangerous--might think eventually a female suicide bomber might be willing to blow up her hooha if it would take some Great Western Sataners out...oh hell, no, I don't want to unpack the thought process here.




I do have to admit, though...They do make great cat toys. And everyone who has a cat knows they're all terrorists.

[WinkyDink]

58. Wow. You're only "pretty" sure????? Impaired-Humor Alert!

YOU CAN'T SEE THE STRING, FOR GOD'S SAKE. SHE'D HAVE TO BE ON A GYNECOLOGIST'S EXAMINATION TABLE.

[RavensChick]

60. He's a repuke!

They're getting loonier and loonier every single minute of every day!

They're the gift that keeps on giving!

[political_Dem]

62. Now that has truly crossed the line.

But knowing how easy it is to scare Americans into adjusting for privacy-breaking manueovers, it won't be long before the already horrible pat down will be a little more intimate for women. :(

It's already rotten enough what we have to go through in the name of security. :(

[Renew Deal]

63. Being a TSA screener is about to get a lot more interesting

:wow:

[Jamastiene]

64. There was a time when I would have immediately thought this was satire...

but since the Patriot Act, ANYTHING, no matter how paranoid it sounds, seems possible coming from the "security" minded types.

So, I take it this is satire? I hope...

[Renew Deal]

65. Another South Park inspired bomb plot

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155539/snuke-found

[nadinbrzezinski]

68. While you could do something with almost anything

I'll leave it at that... I'd say the Congressman had a bad case of Furiegner speaking furiegner language and an active imagination...

Oh and kiddies you are SUPPOSED to report something like that if you are truly afraid BEFORE you board the aircraft... so I'd say that is a pile of stinking bullshit.

No, I won't ask what is wrong with this country anymore.