Rate Of Uninformed Conversations About Navy SEALs Skyrockets

[Keith Bee]

WASHINGTON — The frequency and detail of uninformed conversations about the required strength, agility, and killing abilities of the Navy SEALs has increased exponentially since the SEAL-led operation to kill Osama bin Laden, Pentagon officials told reporters Thursday.

“Since last week, the number of people who have incorrectly stated that all SEAL members must do 300 pull-ups in a minute, earn advanced calculus degrees from MIT, and be able to hold their breath underwater for an hour, has been extraordinarily high,” said Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell, adding that the comment, “I heard you need to be able shoot a quarter from a mile away after running for four hours straight,” has been idiotically uttered in more than 65 percent of discussions related to the military operation.

“Just to set the record straight: Navy SEALs are allowed to talk to their families. Ninety percent of them do not die during training. And members of SEAL Team Six did not have to fight and kill a tiger shark in order to be admitted.” Morrell added that current enlistment numbers couldn’t possibly account for the number of Americans claiming they have an uncle in the Navy SEALs.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rate-of-uninformed-conversations-about-navy-seals,20371/

:rofl:

[sharp_stick]

1. I read an article

about someone that works to unmask people pretending to have earned medals and such as well as people pretending to be Seals or Green Berets. He said that there were about 500 Seals participating during the Vietnam war and he had met all 20,000 of them.

I do love the Onion.

[arbusto_baboso]

2. A high percentage of them ARE injured in training, though.

The Navy apparently has no compunction against ruining perfectly good sailors in its SEAL training.

US Army Special Forces has a much more sensible, yet no less rigorous training regimen. And quite frankly, if our JCS Chairmen wre not an Admiral, SF would have - and SHOULD HAVE - been picked for the job, since it is more within their mission description.

The Onion aside, I get sick of the crap uninformed civvies spout about SEALS. Especially since their mission record is not a terribly successful one overall.

[lapfog_1]

3. OTOH, I learned SCUBA diving from a ex Navy Seal

and while I consider myself to be one of the safest divers in the ocean after that training, I wouldn't recommend it to the casual sport diver (about 70 percent of my class dropped out).

One example of the training was being taken down to about 20 feet underwater, blindfolded, and having him or his assistants do things to your equipment. To pass you had to figure out what they did and fix it, all while blindfolded, usually while running out of air.

I have a lot of respect for Navy Seals. Not Supermen, but damn well trained.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

4. But, they missed the most important part of training. "Never, ever, volunteer."

Something I quickly learned in boot camp.

[Keith Bee]

5. Kick

;P

[damntexdem]

6. But they do have to be faster than a speeding bullet, ...

be more powerful than a locomotive, and leap tall buildings in a single bound, right?

[DenverDad]

7. Sarah Palin is critical of the President for using the SEALS

She thinks that otters would have been more appropriate.

[pinboy3niner]

8. LOL! But I'd have thought she'd prefer manatees...

...because they just sound so MACHO!1!!

[Keith Bee]

9. Half-Gov Youbetcha.....

...thinks a seal is something you beat to death with a club.

[Keith Bee]

10. Bluebear needs us!

And, no, I haven't a goddam clue who s/he is, but genius needs to be recognized. Here's the link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1087761