Man Breaks Into Sex Shop, 'Attempting Sexual Relations' With Blow-Up Doll

[Renew Deal]

Police in Virginia say a sex shop burglar couldn't even wait to get home before he started enjoying his pillaged booty.

Investigators in Woodbridge claim Justin Dale Little Jim, a 28-year-old U.S. Army officer, broke into an adult novelty store at around 2:45 a.m. on July 5.

When officers arrived on the scene, a police dog lead them to a closet, where they allegedly found the suspect "attempting sexual relations" with a blow-up doll, prosecutors told Inside Nova.

"It's sad ... our stuff is reasonably priced. Anyone can come in here and purchase it," Jerry Poe, the manager of MVC Late Night sex shop, told WJLA.

Little Jim has been charged with burglary, grand larceny, and destruction of property for the incident
<snip>

http://weirdnews.aol.com/2011/07/07/justin-dale-little-jim-ar_n_892464.html#s304691&title=Justin_Dale_Little

My favorite part of this story is the plug about "reasonable prices" by the owner.

[flamingdem]

1. Did the doll look like Michelle Bachman? nt

[Electric Monk]

2. Couldn't even succeed with a blow up doll? He was merely attempting?

:rofl:

[WingDinger]

5. Fool didnt buy her dinner first.

[originalpckelly]

6. "Sweetie, you couldn't even get laid with a sex toy."

:rofl:

That really does make a good joke. The whole story is full of them. From the guy being named Little Jim...to the explanation by the shop-keeper.

[originalpckelly]

3. "Anyone can come in here and purchase it..." "Little Jim"

Sounds like the burglar only listened to the first part.

And whose name is Little Jim, the burglar or his man parts?

[Solly Mack]

4. Little Jim

LMAO

[originalpckelly]

7. There must be a computer program that sifts through police reports...

just looking for these kind of stories that are fucking hilarious for all kinds of reasons.

[Solly Mack]

11. I wouldn't doubt it.

[Enrique]

8. i like the plug too

:rofl:

[Renew Deal]

18. TMI

:rofl:

[MrScorpio]

9. This guy can't get a date in DC at all?

WTF?

Shit, the ONLY thing that a military guy has to do to meet girls in DC is have a freaking pulse.

And he's an Army OFFICER to boot.

Well his career is in the toilet for sure.

[Aerows]

20. He can't even get it on with a blow up doll

His entire life is in the toilet :rofl: He might as well flush.

[Rex]

10. Wow, desperate times call for desperate measures!

I so hope he wasn't married!!!

[Renew Deal]

15. All you think about is him?

What about the doll he violated? This is a sexist world! :D

[Rex]

17. DAM!

:spray: Got me!

[rug]

12. Maybe Little Jim has trouble with women.

[Fuddnik]

13. Uncle Sam Wants You!

[woo me with science]

14. Does that mean it goes on the bargain table now? nt

[Electric Monk]

16. Almost used

[MilesColtrane]

19. "enjoying his pillaged booty"?

Oh, those AOL article-writing wags...!

[Aerows]

22. LOL

:spray: I missed that the first time around.

[Springer9]

21. "Lifelike vinyl" my ass.

n/t

[kestrel91316]

23. I am thinking SOMEBODY in this picture was a bit drunk.

[tishaLA]

24. so there are places that have sex shops that close? really?

I guess I'm 'spoiled" or something, but in urban America, I'm unaware of the things closing at all. Seems to me that 2 AM and later would be booming business time for drunken horny men.

[ZombieHorde]

25. Seems like strange behavior. I wonder if he has PTSD.

I don't know anything about this guy, but when I think about myself fighting in a war, I wonder if I would loose myself.

[mysuzuki2]

26. I strongly suspect that

alcohol was involved.

[kenny blankenship]

27. He's an Officer and a Gentleman -if he wants to fuck your doll, LET him fuck it by God!

Support Our Troops, you goddamn money grubbing chum scrubbing smut merchant. How DARE you have him arrested! You're not fit to lick the jizz off his boots. Get down on your knees and apologize! Apologize to the Army. Now apologize to the flag.

[joshcryer]

28. How long did he spend trying to blow up the doll? Geez.

[seabeyond]

30. ha ha. that is what i was thinking. he was all blowed out. lol. nt

[hifiguy]

29. Another Freeper heard from

it seems. :rofl: