Some of you think several generations living in the same house is a great thing,

[raccoon]

like on the Waltons.

And in some cases, it may be.

But it ain't necessarily so. My parents lived with my paternal grandmother and it was NOT a good situation.

And how many of us would want to live with our in-laws? Maybe some would be OK with it, but I'm sure a great many wouldn't.

[TwilightGardener]

1. I wouldn't mind if my kids had to move back in with me after college--

or if they fell on hard times later on. My parents--eh, things could get a little tense, they do things that drive me crazy. In-laws? Oh god no. They wouldn't, anyway--they don't like me. They'd rather be homeless.

[Lint Head]

2. It's fantasy to think this is normal and that privacy is not compromised.

[xxqqqzme]

3. It is not fantasy if it is the only

way people can afford shelter. It is easy to be dismissive of families pooling resources when you are not one of those families.

[villager]

5. But it *was* normal, for most of human history

In tribes, villages, castles, whatever. People tended to grow up together and live close.

Putting aside the notion of whether people under the same roof can get along, it's only relatively recently we've hatched this idea that everyone must have a separate house (and thus, separate appliances, cars, et al...)

[Warren Stupidity]

10. It was normal and is normal for most of the world's population.

The alienated individual is a product of advanced industrial economies. We are the abnormality.

[uppityperson]

39. Living alone, isolated, moving often. How many people are researching their families' histories

doing genealogy stuff, looking to figure out how they got where they are, how they belong? How many people belong to the
Wanna-be tribe, trying to get some attachments?

[no_hypocrisy]

4. It would be a struggle to move back with my 88 yo father.

He gets mad at me when I try to clean anything. Tells me to leave it alone.

[JuniperLea]

6. My family was just like the Waltons...

Only they were the Waldrons... here are three generations who lived under the same roof.



I grew up with grandparents living in the home, and I loved it. I had the world's best mother-in-law and would have gladly shared my home with her. We lived across the street and practically had to send her an engraved invitation to come visit, and her door was always open to me and my children.

I think it depends on how a person was raised. Some people never knew their grandparents. There have always been at least five living generations in my family, and I had a full set of grand and great-grandparents on both my mother's and father's side of the family.

[raccoon]

7. A thread in Editorials inspired me to start this thread.

Multigenerational Homes Surge in U.S.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=103&topic_id=624238

[FSogol]

8. If the GOP gets their way, we'll all sleep in the same room with the livestock.

:shrug:

[Maine-ah]

43. it's a republican's dream

sleeping with livestock..

[girl gone mad]

46. ..

:spray:

[The2ndWheel]

9. It doesn't really depend on how anyone feels about it

If energy is cheap, then more people can and will do their own thing, since other people aren't needed as much in a direct way.

If energy is expensive, more people will need each other.

[Brickbat]

11. If people make the choice to do it, it can be wonderful. But when it's forced on you and you don't

want to do it, that's where difficulties come in. It doesn't work for everyone, and it's not great for everyone. It's unusual in American culture at this time, of course.

We lived with my in-laws for six months in the middle of a difficult move. It went as well as it could -- we all get along and genuinely like each other. But. It was not ideal, nor what we wanted, and there were tensions.

[LongTomH]

12. Every situation is different!

I'd go crazy living with my RW Republican relatives and their WalMart, Fox News and Glenn Beck lifestyle!

[eilen]

13. So far I like it.

Mom moved in. She is pretty easy going. The dog and cat like it too. The kids come and sit with her and talk. I don't worry so much about her anymore. My son and nephew could stay as long as they like too. I know they are safe here. Plus they are a big help. It's nice working together. We all eat at the dinner table now most nights.

[Romulox]

14. Dig deeper. It's poverty. Some posters aren't bothered by it. nt

[OhioChick]

15. Crime rate would go up n/t

[reggie the dog]

27. more likely go down

due to children having more adult supervision

[OhioChick]

32. My in-laws are Repubs.....

It would NOT work out, trust me. :rofl:

[supernova]

16. My sister lives with her daughter and SiL

and the two grandkids.

They bought a big enough house together that everyone has some space. My sister even has her own in-law apt downstairs with a living room, kitchenette, bedroom and bath. So, it's very cozy for her when the house is too chaotic.

They've been there for about 8 years now. Seems to be working well. My niece never knew the thrill of daycare.

[leeroysphitz]

17. I t isn't about familial interpersonal relationships.

It's about my shrinking income having to be streched to cover my elderly parents until they pass on and my children until they're 30. All to keep thewealthy from having to pay Clinton or Reagan era tax rates.

[elocs]

18. For some it might be, for most it likely would not. Myself, I love living alone.

I'd rather be homeless than have to live with other people.

[reggie the dog]

28. try homelessness for a week and get back to me about that

[elocs]

29. Depends upon how you are homeless. I intend to make myself "homeless", without a "home"

when I retire in a few years from now. More a nomad than anything else but when homelessness is a choice it is different than when it is thrust upon you.

[reggie the dog]

33. what will be your shelter?

if you will live in a camper you are not homeless

[elocs]

41. Ahh, so you want to split hairs. So if you have a roof over your head, you are not homeless.

Then obviously a person who has an EDAR could not be considered homeless:



Hey, I bet they consider themselves to be homeless.

So are the "homeless" who regularly stay in shelters like the Salvation Army not homeless either because they have a roof over their heads even though they have no permanent address? I'm pretty sure they think they are homeless although they might be mistaken.

I know of a woman at my local Salvation Army that has lived in her beaten up little pickup for years having it parked in front of the building, getting meals there and using their bathroom and shower. She considers herself to be homeless even though she sleeps in her truck much of the time. But even in her homelessness she gets to live her life on her terms, as will I.

A lot of people who live in their cars consider themselves to be homeless as well, but maybe that doesn't count either.

I've thought about using this as well to pull behind my bike to use as a roof over my head:



You see I will need to find a way to actually live and get by on what will be a meager SS check, so I will indeed be "homeless", without a permanent address. No, I will not be living in a cardboard box or begging for change, but I will be homeless in all but the narrow definition of the word.

[reggie the dog]

42. if you have a trailer or camper you are not homeless

they have roofs and heat easily, several of my buddies live in such accomidations, a tent and you are homeless as the leaks of water and heat are just too important

[elocs]

30. dupe

[dkf]

19. Personally I love the idea.

My parents are the best. If we could do a 3 story house with one floor each it would be ideal and they are at an age when they will be needing more help anyway. My sister has been thinking of expanding her house if my parents needed to move in.

My grandparents on both sides were housed by their kids.

Family is everything.

[dembotoz]

20. i am really torn on this

i grew up in a household where my mothers parents lived with us.
it was good for me i guess. my grampa and i were very close and he intercepted a number of notes from my teachers in elementary school....
Later--like just a few years ago-- i discovered that there was a fair amount of tension between my father and her parents. It showed up in how my family would go camping every weekend from when
the campgrounds opened til when they closed--to act as a pressure relief valve so everyone would get along--again this was good for me- i loved camping although it did turn me into a loner because i did not interact with neighborhood kids that much--so some good some bad.

i currently live with my 2nd oldest son at my mothers. She is over 90 and it keeps her out of assisted living--and both my son and i have been sort of kicked out of the current family home.
Separation without paperwork--again work.

So it can work and work well, but i would have to think that the circumstances that produce such an event should not be financial alone.

sounds like a reciepie for disaster.

[WingDinger]

21. Being a lefty, living of neccessity with parents, is tough.

Paid my whole life into SS etc. Now, when uncaring employers allow work conditions that caused heart problems, SSI and SS dis is denied. When I talked to the SS gal, she was shocked that I lived alone for three years. Usually, you get sick and have no choice but family or the street. Denial is almost guaranteed.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

22. I am insisting that my parents move in to my house

Their house is all stairs, you can't walk ten feet without going up or down a couple stairs, they can't get from their bed to the master bathroom without hitting stairs. In the dark that terrifies me.

I have never had trouble getting along with my parents, not as a teenager and not now.

Money doesn't come into it. I'm not broke and they sure as hell aren't.

My house was originally built with a recital room for piano lessons or something, it has an outside door and a private half-bath. I am going to turn it into an apartment for them and have an accessible bathroom added.

[supernova]

23. I'm a loner who loves family

I was always a loner, that is, I'm not the most social person in the world, but I do love living with others if the situation is right. I loved my parents and but for my mom's death a little early, we would have been roomies again after my divorce. As sad as the death of our mothers is, it was a little worse for me because I was actually looking forward to being home with her and having the chance to care for her. But it wasn't to bee, I've had the place to myself all these years, instead.

In 2008 I met a wonderful man who is so affectionate and giving and we are just two peas in a pod. :-) While we had decided to marry anyway, we did move in together early for economic reasons. No sense in us both struggling separately. We've been better able to spread our slim finances around that way. And I do feel more financially stable now, something that gnawed at me for years.

[in_cog_ni_to]

24. Well, sometimes the situations warrants generations living together and

compromising. I would have HATED having to live with my parents as an adult, but if it meant surviving, I'd do it and make it work. I think if you all understand there is no other way to have a home, food and pay bills...you would do whatever to make it work. I know I would.

If our son needed to live with us as an adult, our door is always open. Our home will always be his home, no matter what. I'd do whatever it took to make the situation tolerable. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

[DaveJ]

25. McMansions serve that purpose well

People ridicule them but they make sense for large families, ideally with multiple incomes.

But I can see how it would not work out. For instance some house dwellers might not contribute their fair share to chores, expenses, which can create high stress levels among those who carry more burden.

[seabeyond]

26. i am ok with it. even my MIL. and we bat heads, lol. but, i could do it.

i have thought about it, by chance.

[laundry_queen]

31. BTDT

I've lived, as an adult with young children, with both my in-laws and my own parents. I preferred living with my in-laws, LOL. I cannot and refuse to live with my parents again. They are narcissists who are mentally abusive (in an oh-so subtle way, everyone else thinks they are great) so I won't be doing that again. It only works if everyone involved is willing to compromise, give a little and work things out like adults. With my in-laws, there were things I did for them and they reciprocated and were very respectful of my privacy. We worked together and were upfront and honest. With my parents, everything had to be done THEIR way, there was no respect for me as a person - "my way or the highway" kind of thinking. (Why yes, they are conservatives, what gave that away? lol) So it just depends. It doesn't' always work out, especially if there is any kind of mistreatment or unresolved issues from childhood.

[Marrah_G]

34. It's only good if everyone there works together.

[Javaman]

35. It will eventually become the norm.

get used to it.

[county worker]

36. I'm working and if any of my family or my wife's family needed a place to live

rather then be homeless they are welcome to live with us.

I know there could be conflicts but that doesn't trump helping each other out in my book.

I often thought that there are some households that could take in a homeless person. It would not be something every household could do but some could.

The government is not going to take care of our problems and the charities are struggling to stay afloat.

It will take people helping people if we are to survive.

[Romulox]

37. I heard poor people actually LIKE not being able to afford their own place.

They're very resilient, the poor!

[InvisibleTouch]

38. I think it's great for kids, not so great for adults.

I lived in a multi-generational household for a while as a kid, and it was very beneficial for me. Nice to have multiple adults to draw upon for attention, education, and supervision. As an adult, I would hate it. I need to have my own space, and feel in control of my space.

[seaglass]

40. I don't. I am so looking forward to my husband and I living by ourselves. We had

2 months when both of my kids were living at school and it was wonderful. I must be a defective mom - love my kids tons but I was not having a bad feeling about empty nest.

Of course my kids will always be welcome to live here. And if my mom really needed to she would be welcome too.

I would prefer that it was just my husband and I though.

[NNN0LHI]

44. Problem is many of these homes are taxed as single family homes rather than hotels

I have already been told that the county I live in is going to start cracking down on this practice.

Want to have two or three families living in one home? Fine, but you are going to start seeing your property taxes reflect that.

Don

[Lone_Star_Dem]

45. If I had to take in my in-laws, I would.

Do I want to? Not just no, but hell no!

However, if I did I'm sure it would be the end of my relationship before too long. They are some evil, nasty, manipulative people. I couldn't live with them for long without losing my sanity. I also wouldn't want to live with my own father for similar reasons, so it's not as if I'm singling out my in-laws. You don't get to pick your family, and sometimes they just aren't nice people.