No birth certificate? No problem, your penis will serve as an acceptable alternative.

[Scuba]

http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/truth-stranger-fiction-az-birther-law

<snip>

Arizona Senate formally passed the "Birther Bill" today, but not in its original version.

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona -- despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president -- was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack (of) foreskin will suffice.

<end snip>


No birth certificate and no penis? Well, women should be home in the kitchen rattlin' those pots and pans, anyway.

[BlueIris]

1. Freakazoids.

I'm surprised they didn't throw in a request for DNA.

[Dennis Donovan]

2. Oh yeah, like I'm going to show up at DMV and whip it out for ID...

Does ITS photo also go on my driver's license?:rofl:

[WatsonT]

7. My first thought went to biometric scanners

like they ones they have in every sci-fi movie for your eyes, sometimes a panel you place your hands on.

[badtoworse]

9. Sounds like something out of Porkys

[SoCalDem]

11. Maybe if your name is Brett Favre

:)

[MilesColtrane]

12. "Does ITS photo also go on my driver's license?"

They don't have a big enough wide-angle lens.

[SkyDaddy7]

13. YOU OWE FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!!!

I literally spit coffee when I read your comment! :rofl:

[mikeytherat]

16. "Wow. How did they get that anaconda up against the glass?"

mikey_the_rat

[jemelanson]

3. WTF

I think the desert heat has cooked the poor little brains...Bless their hearts and their little pointed heads.

[LiberalFighter]

4. Now that I think about it. That law is unconstitutional two different ways.

[quaker bill]

5. Not that it is a problem for me

but what if you are among the 50+ percent that does not have one?

[lunatica]

6. What if you forge a document to describe lack of foreskin?

Oh the mess created by the simple minded.

[JoePhilly]

8. hahaha .... you said ... "end snip" .... hahahaha.

[ehrnst]

10. Because women won't be running for office, due to all the kids they will have

After contraception gets banned.

[gkhouston]

14. Has anyone followed the links and checked out the certificate?

There's a link to a circumcision certificate--clearly a Jewish document with Hebrew on the right and (presumably) the English translation on the left. At the bottom is a Biblical quote from Luke. How reformed does a Jewish congregation have to be to use a form including a quote from the New Testament, attributed to a Greek?

[Javaman]

15. Wanted: RNC/GOP pecker checker.

I would have never thought in a million years that I would write a title to a reply such as that.

[mikeytherat]

17. Why I am I reminded of Gregory Hines' scene from "History of the World: Part 1"?

GH: "You can't kill me! I'm not a slave, I'm jewish!"

A Centurion looks down the front of GH's loincloth and says, "Jewish, eh?"

GH: "He missed. Look, he was very nervous that day. But I have an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday. 10 minutes tops. Give me a local, blip, and I'm out."

mikey_the_rat

[sinkingfeeling]

18. Guess my son, born in 1970, can never run for President. No 'long form' or ceremonial form from the

OSU hospital, no baptism, and neither a circumcision record nor any postpartum doctor's record.

[mikeytherat]

19. If he's not circumcised, he's already got the "long form."

Thanks! I'm here all week. And remember to tip the waitstaff, they're working hard for you!

mikey_the_rat

[woodsprite]

20. I think the GOP should be retitled HOB

for 'horny old bastards'. All they can think about is sex: having it themselves (usually in some taboo fashion), controlling what goes on in other peoples bedrooms and uteri, preventing teens from having sex (unless it's with one of them). Maybe they'd get more work done in DC if they all quit jacking off in their offices.