Borowitz: Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S.

[Contrary1]

:rofl:

So-called ‘Balders’ Movement Gathers Steam



NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – A threat to the fledgling presidential campaign of Donald Trump emerged today, as a group of activists charged that Mr. Trump is not eligible to hold the nation’s highest office because his hair does not originate from the U.S.

The group, who call themselves “Balders,” claim that the hair-like substance that crowns Mr. Trump’s head is from a foreign country, which would mean that the candidate is less than one hundred percent American.

“Time and time again, Donald Trump has refused to produce a certificate of authenticity for his hair,” said Leeann Selwyn, a leading Balder. “This is tantamount to a comb-over of the truth.”

But if in fact Mr. Trump’s distinctive mane turns out to be of foreign origin, such a revelation need not be fatal to his presidential hopes, says Professor Davis Logsdon, who has studied the history of presidential hair at the University of Minnesota.

“Remember, several of our greatest early presidents, like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, had hair that originated elsewhere,” Mr. Logsdon says. “The only thing that could kill Trump politically is if his hair turns out to be from France.”

More: http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[notesdev]

1. Where's the hairline???

Why won't Donald show his hairline? What's he got to hide? A lobotomy...?

[buddysmellgood]

2. Excellent. You know, I heard that the parent company of the hair manufacturer

had the piece on his head implanted here in the U.S. just so they could get a foothold in the American market.

[BillStein]

3. I still think his hair

is from a litter that was born in a chimney in Vermont.

[Donnachaidh]

4. a litter of what?

Opossums?