HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Purrfessor » Journal
Page: 1

Purrfessor

Profile Information

Name: Allen
Gender: Male
Hometown: Florida
Home country: USA
Current location: Ohio
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 1,112

Journal Archives

Watching Trump's "Narcissistic Press Conference" today...

Asked whether his initial response to COVID-19 was indeed the response of a wartime president or a very unstable idiot Trump said, ďYou might say both! I consider myself a general first. First and foremost. Thatís a phrase I made up by the way: first and foremost. Iím the greatest general in the history of generals. People donít know this but the word Ďgeneralí was invented because of my swift action on everything I do. Iíve had other generals come up to me and say, ĎSir, Iím a wartime general just like you but compared to you I donít feel like I deserve that title, so Iím giving it up.í And they cry when they say that. Some of them fall on the ground bawling like babies. Little babies. Tiny babies. Distraught. And I have to console them. Tell them itís ok but what did they expect?

Itís also true I made some idiotic decisions. But they werenít my decisions. I listened to the idiots in my administration. I wonít say who but his initials are JK. So in that sense you might say Iím an idiot, unstable or otherwise. But if thatís true, that Iím an idiot, Iím not just any idiot. Iím the best idiot. I had a man come up to me crying. Big burly man. Tattoos everywhere. Even his bald head. He was crying big tears, huge tears. My shoes got wet from the overflow. And he said, ĎSir, some people are calling you an idiot.í And I said thatís ok. Iím only an idiot in the good sense of the word. But remember Iím the Idiot-in-Chief, and the President-in-Chief and the General-in-Chief. Iím the Chief of everything, you might say.

And Melania, you know my wife Melanie? Melania, whatever her name is. She calls me the Sitapea-in-Chief. I donít know what that means. But itís good. Itís great. Sheís speaks thirty-seven languages. Forty languages. Maybe fifty, I donít know. But itís a big number. Very big. Iíve tried to ask her what it means, Sitapea. Sheís from Estonia, or Slovenia, or Hugoslavia, somewhere like that. Itís far away. Very far. Anyway, I go to her room. She keeps the door locked for her own safety. I have a special knock, three quick ones, a pause, then twelve very quick ones, another pause, then I stomp my feet seven times, pause again followed by twenty-one regular ones, regular knocks. You know, knocks? Iím very good at knocking. Better than anybody. Sometimes I lose count though and have to start over. But sheís never there when I knock, sheís very busy. Busier than any First-Woman, First-Bride, whatever you call them, in history. So itís not surprising. Anyway that makes me the greatest Sitapea-in-Chief in the history of the world. In all time, forever. Most people donít know that history means forever, all time. But I know. And now you know.

You know, idiots do great things, too. Very great. Fabulous. But maybe you donít know. But itís true. Someone once said, ĎNothing is more humiliating than to see an idiot succeed in enterprises we have failed in.í In that sense I have humiliated a lot of people. A number bigger than most people think exists. Like that pie number. You know pie? Itís a number that goes from here to wherever. Nobody really knows where it goes. It might still be going. It wouldnít surprise me.

Many people donít know this either but if you do a Google search for worldís top idiot my name comes up first. Thatís an honor. Cryiní Chuck Schumer babbles like a baby when he sees my name at the top of the list. Iím a very stable genius, too. A very stable idiot genius, you might say. How many people can say that? None. Iím the only one. But only in the good sense. The best sense. The greatest sense of all time. History. Forever. So yes. Whatever. You know? Ok. Next question. Yes, you. You over there. The OAN girl. Go ahead.Ē

Shakespearean sonnet on lack of toilet paper...

Such emptiness seems blindness to mine eyes,
Which once reflected wings of Angel Soft.
So light to touch like clouds in distant skies,
Tíwould billow on the breeze if held aloft.
What erstwhile forest floors did resupply.
This thing we rarely gave a second thought,
That lay like lifeless fallen butterflies,
May yet again be prized and highly sought.
But thus with racks devoid their precious prize.
And endless searches bring no chance reward.
Nor goods for which we choose to compromise,
While looking with contempt tíward those who hoard,
Weíve little choice but act without delay.
And jury rig an interim bidet.

My singer-songwriter daughter released her latest song today: "Everyday."

She wrote it about her time dealing with depression.



JayBird: Everyday

Sleep on it
Sleep on it

Oohhh

Every day is different
Every day with a new feelin' or
Dealin' with shit in a new way
I'm different

Than I used to be it's all new to me
But still feeling the same way
A good way a bad day
Ain't no way to figure it out
No way to block that shit out
It's all in my head and
I know it, I know it, I know it, Iím

Not tryna fall back I'm
Not tryna go back to
No control, no control, no control

Tuesdays with blue skies
And your eyes and everything
I Could ever need I've got
Love from you hugs from you
More from you I could never leave
Weíve got no control
Fallin' back no control
And every day is different
Every day itís

Not about you or your love
Or my mind or the time of the day
Nothing else I can say
They say it'll be okay
Just sleep on it, sleep on it
(sleep sleep sleep sleep on it)

Sleep is the devil that keeps me awake
Sleep is the reason I'm going insane
Iíd stay here all day
I'm happy this way
But just not happy today

Every day is different
Every day with a new feelin' or
Dealin' with shit in a new way
I'm different

Than I used to be it's not new to me
But still feeling the same way
A bad day a good way
Ain't no way to figure it out
I gotta figure it out
It's all in my head and
I know it, I know it, I know it

Not tryna fall back I'm
Not tryna go back to
No control no control ohh no control

Days go by like Monday Tuesday
I say I will Wednesday Thursday
Friday this will be my week
Maybe Iíll get off my feet
And fly and fly and fly

Oh oh oh

Days go by like Monday Tuesday
I say I will Wednesday Thursday
Friday maybe this will be my week
Maybe Iíll get off my feet
And fly and fly and fly and fly

Oh oh oh oh itís

Not about you or your love
Or my mind or the time of the day
Nothing else I can say
They say it'll be okay be okay
Just sleep on it

Sleep is the devil that keeps me
awake
Sleep is the reason I'm going insane
Iíd stay here all day
I'm happy this way

Sleep is the devil that keeps me awake
Sleep is the reason I'm going insane
Iíd stay here all day
I'm happy this way

Not tryna fall back I'm
Not tryna go back to
No control no control no control
And everyday is different.

My singer-songwriter daughter has a new music video out...

Trump Campaign Releases Proof of Trump's Charitable Giving...

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

Man Dies After He Tripped On Sidewalk

http://www.sanduskyregister.com/article/1753306

Life is dangerous, even when out walking.

Richard Petrak and friends were visiting South Bass Island on June 4, 2011 and docked at B Dock, part of the DeRivera Park in the village...Early that morning, he tripped on the sidewalk, broke his neck and died..."Yes, he had been drinking," attorney Tom DeBacco said.

Drinking and walking, a double whammy. Two activities to ban for the price of one.

Should we ignore education in this discussion?

There are many kids who drive themselves extremely hard to maintain an 4.0 average, join school sponsored clubs, take on every form of extra credit and do as much community work as time allows in an effort to earn admittance and/or a scholarship to an Ivy League school. For some of them the stress factor is as mentally damaging as football injuries are to high school players.

How do you propose we protect these kids? Surely not by banning education.

I agree with Sotf

People are and should be allowed to make their own decisions. Yesterday I saw a thread complaining about people mowing their lawns and using fertilizer and weed killer and how the noise was so distracting. And why not just let the grass grow? Well maybe some folks like to mow their yards, maybe some folks like the look of a well maintained lawn. But, oh no, if some people don't like a particular thing they want to slap controls on it or prevent it altogether because they feel they know what is best.

It's my guess that many of those complaining about the dangers of playing football, and who want to deny kids the opportunity to decide for themselves whether to participate (with their parents' approval, of course), fervently oppose anyone who wishes to deny a woman's right to make her own medical decisions. Oh, but that is different, they'll say. No it isn't. This is about the right to make one's own decisions in life providing those decisions fall within the boundaries of legality.

Should high school golf also be banned because, aside from placing kids in a "toxic" environment (fertilizers and weed killers and such), it
might also encourage them to grow up and want to have a nice golf-course looking lawn of their own, at which point it will require the use of mowers, weedeaters and blowers, oh my?

If one looks hard enough he can find a reason to ban almost anything. But this is not how we operate in this country. At least not yet.
Go to Page: 1