grieving a suicide death of my son

July the 11th we found my son. He actually died on the 10th. He was an electrician, but he had mental illness. 25 yes I've been working to keep him with us yet now I feel guilty as I know his thoughts were always dark. He
had bi-polar, with intermittent explosive disorder and schizo effects.
I'm am dysfunctional, depressed and grieving. Trying to do anything is just hard. Knowing this should be normal I still don't know how to handle this.
Living in Texas he was very upset with all the crazy politics worried about his children. The only thing that I think will get up and moving again is to jump in to defeat Abbott and Paxton.
Is it too soon? I'm not sure I can be productive but it's the only thing I find any passion to do.
One day at a time. Beto will be in our town next Thurs so no matter what anyone thinks I'm going.
I think doing something that benefits my daughter and grandchildren is important.
I've never posted before but this social site is the only place I'm a member. Can't handle all the others. Thanks for listening I feel a bit better for being expressive.