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Member since: Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:27 AM
Number of posts: 530

Journal Archives

It's not a choice, it's a child;

It’s not the 2nd amendment, it’s a child!

Not that they care, but the latter is how I feel. If they care about the “child” in the first, it stands to reason they *should* care about the child in the second statement. I know they only care about birth.

This whole thing makes me so sad.
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Wed May 25, 2022, 04:29 PM (5 replies)

Everyone Keeps Saying How Will Laughed At First

Yes, he did, because sometimes, at public events, you pretend everything is great, but handle it afterwards. My theory is Will was trying to laugh and pretend everything was ok, but then he looked at Jada and she was not playing along that it was all good.

In this society, but especially in Hollywood, there are certain things that give an actress value. Heck, even in the regular world those things give a woman value. I cannot give you a top three list of what makes me feel physically valued, because there are only two for me - my breasts and my hair.

Before I got married, I showed my husband a photo of women who had had mastectomies. I asked if I got breast cancer, could he stand to be with me, if I had no breasts.

Is that superficial? Yeah, but if you think the world is not superficial, you have not opened your eyes.

I cannot begin to imagine Jada’s life. Her kids, her husband and her job. With a disease that outwardly affects you, the way her hair loss has, you will lose friends, just because they find it awkward to be around you. All the time, you lie to yourself and others about how strong you are and how you are handling it just fine. You lie to everyone, including your husband. Sometimes it is because you are afraid if you tell someone, you will break down and never recover. Sometimes it is being ashamed you are not as strong as you feel you should be.

I believe what you saw was a guy trying to laugh it off until later. He looked over, and he could see the pain someone he loved so very much and the pain cut through Will. He could see a small bit into what Jada had been experiencing.

I am not going to get into whether what he did was correct. I just kept seeing people saying, “He was laughing until he wasn’t.” That makes me think those people have not fully thought out the moment and all the struggles that came before, as well as he may not even have known.

I do not have what Jada has. I have something much different. Until I started taking my significant other to dr appointments, because I was told I could not drive, my guy had no idea of everything I was going through. I kept it from him, because of many reasons. My guy was dumbstruck by what I had not told him.

I can only guess, but I assume Will had no true idea until that particular moment. Maybe this explains why he laughed but then did not?
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Mon Mar 28, 2022, 06:43 AM (77 replies)

Why the lifting of mask mandates *should* worry you....

We are not the party of I-Got-Mine-So-Fuck-You. Even if you are vaccinated, as I am, this should concern you. Do you have any friends or relatives with any risk factors??? Do you have any?

There are a lot of unvaccinated people out there. I remember a time when there was talk about hospitals being overwhelmed. There are medical people who have killed themselves, because it was that bad.

It is short sighted to say we are vaccinated, so the unvaccinated can take care of themselves. If this were a movie, Peter Parker would be muttering he got his. Later that week Aunt May would be going to the hospital for a heart attack, only to be turned away due to overcrowding and no facilities to help her.

There are enough unvaccinated people, I an truly afraid this is a scenario we will soon be facing. Just because you and your family are vaccinated, don’t feel smug. How will you feel when hospitals cannot handle the load? What happens when a vaccinated person is in dire need of an ER, either from a health problem or maybe a car accident? When will we truly understand, on both sides, we are all interconnected.

Today is two weeks since my second shot. I am fully vaccinated. I am still fearful for our country. This situation is a recipe for our hospitals being overrun. I know I have risk factors. I do not feel smug. I do not feel safe. I have been in more than one car accident where I needed medical care. Do not be mistaken, it will not only be the unvaccinated who suffer.

I hope this does not happen, but I see how many people got sick and died under mandatory masks. I cannot fathom that number will now go down. I fear our medical system could break under the strain. I fear vaccinated people will die, or suffer, even though it will not be a direct result of having COVID.
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Mon May 17, 2021, 12:08 PM (65 replies)

Convince Me To Get The Vaccine

UPDATE: just got my first of two shots. Thank you for the words of wisdom and encouragement. Sitting and waiting for me 15 minutes to be up. I feel good about my decision.

My boyfriend got it yesterday. I know I am at high risk if I get it, but I am so nervous because it did not go through the long trials non-emergency drugs have. I am needle phobic - always have been, do it did not help when my boyfriend said the needle really hurt going in. He said another person commiserated about that with him. My boyfriend also said he got pages about how this was not FDA approved yadda, yadda yadda.

My biggest obstacle is not knowing the long term effects and how safe they really are. Pain and phobia is a close second. It has helped me that other countries are approving some of the same vaccines, but the long term unknown effects.....

I cannot just think, “Just do it.” Too many things are holding me back.

The one thing my boyfriend said that moved the needle (pun intended) for me was people who get the vaccine do not end up in the hospital or dead. I am not looking to argue. I have told you my fears. My kind is open. I know you cannot give me reassurance, as the vaccine has not been put long enough to assure me nothing will go wrong for me. Help me, please. Convince me this is something I should do.
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Fri Mar 12, 2021, 06:47 AM (139 replies)

If You Wete Getting Unemployment Before, Will You Get It Now?

I am an independent contractor. My unemployment gave out in December. I keep certifying for unemployment each week, but so far nothing has shown up on my card. Has the stimulus extension kicked in and I am out of luck??? Thanks!
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Wed Jan 6, 2021, 07:41 PM (2 replies)

Venting: I Tested Positive (cancer, not covid)

A couple of nights ago my doctor called me. I took an at home test, and he had the results. They came back positive. The next step is to make an appointment with the hospital, so the cancer diagnosis can be confirmed. My doctor knows how anxious I am about covid, so he said I could wait a few months. I countered if the vaccines were starting to kick in, everyone who had the hospital tests on hold would swarm the hospitals. He explained with a positive diagnosis I would go to the front of the line for testing. I would be ahead of those not doing a home test and just doing the hospital test. If this really is cancer, I do not know how far along it is, and it is possible every day could count for my survival.

The doctor said it would be 2-3 weeks before I hear from the hospital, so I can make an appointment. With covid and regulations, he was not sure, once I was notified, how long it would be before I would be penciled in. So, I guess I am still probably looking at 3-5 weeks before they can even look at me. Valuable time wasted, but it is what it is.

All of that is not what I wanted to vent about. I want to vent about insurance for healthcare. I just talked to an agent for the ACA. It is enrollment time right now. Up until now, I have pretty much had catastrophic insurance. It was around $130/month. If I end up with cancer, that plan would put me in a position where I might have to declare bankruptcy. Depending on where I am in treatment, I assume they could demand payment up front. I have worked my you-know-what off to get my credit to excellent. Although I suppose my credit would not matter if I was dead, so there is that!

I needed a top tier health insurance. Something that would cover most of my expenses if I ended up needing treatments. If my diagnosis is confirmed, I do not want a mountain of debt. So, here is where I am: My health insurance will cost almost $550/month. That is a huge leap. What does that mean for me? Well, after mortgage, car payments, taxes and insurance, I will have about $100/month to live on. That is for any other bills and food. And I do have some bills I have to pay off. I make just enough not to qualify for food stamps. Tell me how fair our system is. I am floored. And I am not sure if I do not have cancer if I can switch to a lower plan. I do not think so. So, for the next year, at least (depending on the diagnosis and how long treatment may be) I am shafted. WTF?!?!? My only hope is unemployment is extended and perhaps pumped up. If not, I guess I get in long lines for food banks and hope I like what I have been given.

This system is horrible. If you are possibly facing a life threatening illness, or even everyday life, money should not be handing over your head. Fu@k the system! Thank you for letting me rant a little.
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Fri Dec 4, 2020, 01:43 PM (29 replies)

Come And Pledge With Me, Let's Win

A lot of us have given. Some cannot afford to give any more. That is okay. After the Supreme Court debacle, I am pledging money to Joe Biden, Amy McGrath and Jaime Harrison. Let’s keep up the momentum. Let’s win this thing. Even if it is a dollar per each of these, will you join me?
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Tue Oct 27, 2020, 06:32 AM (1 replies)

Advice On Actions Against A Republican Ex-Love Interest

A guy I talked with online for two months kept it from me he was Republican. I met him on a site that is pretty liberal, so it just never came up. Fast forward to me trying to have a discussion with him, when he said he does not belong on the left or right. I actually said I was trying to have a discussion and was telling him, since you do not get intonation in an electronic note. Things escalated and ended. They ended on a rather bad note - him stating not to write him a nasty reply, and me stating I wished him the best and I hope he finds happiness.

I place an ad on the liberal site, looking for another possible love interest. The guy has a friend go on my ad and start talking about how hypocritical I am, wanting everyone to feel the same way I do. That never happened. I wanted to discuss why they guy felt the way he did. The guy kept posting. I reported him to the site, but knew nothing would probably happen. I feel harassed and stalked.

I wrote to the friend, publicly (only way I can, since I have him blocked privately). I gave the number of the guy's address (not the full address- I have never been there, so I felt this could spook him). I said as a woman, I feel vulnerable. I feel stalked and harassed. I said to please reach out to his friend and make sure he wants it all to continue, since now they are on notice of how I take the posting on my ad. I said the next step is to place a complaint with the cops, whether the friend or another friend tries this.

I know who his ex is and could easily reach out to her. I am sure she could possibly renegotiate the custody terms if some of his actions (not just this, but some other things, as well) were known. I am searching for all legal remedies I can get, because I am not sure the cops will take a complaint seriously.

Do I have any legal remedies with something like this?

Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Tue Sep 22, 2020, 07:58 AM (4 replies)

Has Florida Run Out Of Certain Types Of Meds?

I was on a Facebook group and someone posted: Hey ladies I could use some prayers for my godmother. She is in the hospital with covid and double pneumonia, and FL has tan (sic) out of meds.

With FL numbers going up, I assume it would be common sense they have run out of some meds.

With numbers going up, this could be worse than we imagined. 😢
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Mon Jul 20, 2020, 01:41 PM (8 replies)

What Happens If Joe Wins, But There Are....

A fair number of red governors left? Just like it is not up to Trump to close down states, it is not up to Biden. Are we going to have to cordon off states that do not follow correct protocol? The way the red governors are acting now, I am just not sure they will stop rebelling. Joe’s efforts and leadership will be good. I look forward to competency. I can see a certain sect of leaders thumbing their nose. What are your theories on what will happen? This disease is so destructive, this weighed heavily on my mind last night.
Posted by usedtobedemgurl | Wed Jul 8, 2020, 04:51 PM (6 replies)
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