Interesting thread on masculinity (and violence) by Michael Ian Black

[fleur-de-lisa]

Link to tweet

Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack 6:32 PM - Feb 14, 2018

Deeper even than the gun problem is this: boys are broken.

Until we fix men, we need to fix the gun problem.

The last 50 years redefined womanhood: women were taught they can be anything. No commensurate movement for men who are still generally locked into the same rigid, outdated model of masculinity and it’s killing us.

If you want to hurt a man, the first thing you do is attack his masculinity. Men don’t have the language to understand masculinity as anything other than some version of a caveman because no language exists.

The language of masculinity is hopelessly entwined with sexuality, and the language of sexuality in hopelessly entwined with power, agency, and self-worth.

So men (and boys before that) don’t have language for modes of expression that don’t readily conform to traditional standards. To step outside those norms is to take a risk most of us are afraid to take. As a result, a lot of guys spend their lives terrified.

We’re terrified of being viewed as something other than men. We know ourselves to be men, but don’t know how to be our whole selves. A lot of us (me included) either shut off or experience deep shame or rage. Or all three. Again: men are terrified.

Even talking about this topic invites ridicule because it’s so scary for most men (and women). Men are adrift and nobody is talking about it and nobody’s doing anything about it and it’s killing us.

[JenniferJuniper]

1. I'm sorry but

this is not why any teenager shoots up a school.

We don't know how to deal with mental illness. The system is broken. And its crazy easy for mentally sick people to get guns.

[Fresh_Start]

3. If the teenager was stalking an old girlfriend...then it was toxic masculinity

because he thought he was entitled to her

[Phoenix61]

2. Men are allowed to show anger but not pain

Women are allowed to show pain but not anger. That's why so many women cry when they are angry. It's why so many men rage instead of cry. Women and men need to be able to express all of their emotions. Until we can we will continue to avoid dealing with the things in our lives that cause us to feel angry and hurt and they will continue to hurt us.

[genxlib]

4. I think this is very insightful

I think it is really too broad of a discussion for just yesterday's shooting. But I do think it is true in a broad sense. I think it can help explain a lot of domestic abuse, sexual harassment, homophobia etc.

I would go farther to add that I think there is an economic component as well. Masculinity is also bound up in a traditional role as "breadwinner". The inability to raise a family on a single income has cut into that mystique. It's not just that Women have the freedom to work. It's that they have to.

Of course I think those gender roles are completely outdated and unnecessary. But I do think they exist and add to the pressures of what Men think they are supposed to be.

[bobbieinok]

5. Outdated roles, YES. But Fundamentalist churches are demading male as leader, female as follower

This has been an extremely strong movement in the last 30 or so years. See the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, an organization based at the main So Bapt seminary in Louisville.

The Fundamentalist-Evangelical patriarchy is fighting back fiercely. Many churches no longer allow women to be choir directors or teach boys in Sunday School.

Wayne Grudem, a prominent SBC theologian, even revised the doctrine of the Trinity. The doctrine states that there are 3 equal persons in God - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Gruden now claims that Jesus didn't just become subordinate to the Father while he was on earth. He was always subordinate to tbe Father from the very beginning. This is known as ESS - the Eternal Subordination of the Son. And, the argument now goes, since Jesus joyfully submits to God the Father, why women must joyfully submit to men. Some even go so far as to claim women remain subordinate even after death.

As many women have pointed out, this doctrine was devised to lock in belief in female subordination as part of a 'divine plan.'

[genxlib]

6. No question

religion is a big part of the problem in reinforcing these old fashion gender roles.

Ultimately, i think that is all part of the same big issue. It is the patriarchy holding more tightly onto the past as times change