Panicked Billy Graham Realizes He Took Wrong Turn Into Heavens Largest Gay Neighborhood

[underpants]

Too soon?

THE HEAVENS—As he entered the Pearly Gates and walked the gold-paved streets of God’s Eternal Kingdom, the late Rev. Billy Graham was reportedly so overwhelmed Wednesday by the great majesty before him that he did not at first notice he had taken a turn leading him down the main thoroughfare of heaven’s largest gay enclave. “Oh no, oh—Where am I, exactly?” ....can't post entire content....who witnessed numerous same-sex couples making out upon Heaven’s lush green pastures and became disoriented when a crowd of shirtless, muscular homosexual men poured out of a nearby nightclub and streamed past him on every side. “This can’t possibly be right. I am in Heaven, aren’t I?” According to heavenly sources, Graham, who during his life referred to homosexuality as “a sinister form of perversion,” shrugged, smiled, and continued walking straight into the neighborhood’s largest bath house.

https://www.theonion.com/panicked-billy-graham-realizes-he-took-wrong-turn-into-1823199623?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

[kimbutgar]

1. Somehow I imagined it would be a guy dressed in red with horns, a pitch fork and webbed tail

Greeting him in.

[Wednesdays]

4. Yeah, but

then he wouldn't have encountered the gays or the bathhouse.

[longship]

2. Always, The Onion!

[msongs]

3. he was a wealthy man, a group which does not go to heaven (camel, needle, etc) nt

[TheBlackAdder]

5. He got in the cab, when asked where he would like to go, he didn't enunciate Heaven's GATE clearly.