Huckabee Sanders Warns Stormy Daniels' Disclosures Just Steamy, Sexy Distraction From Real Issues

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—Urging journalists not to fixate on specious rumors and instead pursue topics of real importance, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders warned reporters assembled for the press briefing Thursday that allegations of President Trump’s affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels were a steamy, sexy distraction from the real issues.

“Look, I know how easy it is to get all hot and bothered while reading these tantalizing stories about the president, but Americans need to focus on the concrete problems affecting our nation,” said a sweaty, visibly aroused Huckabee Sanders, who flushed noticeably and bit her bottom lip as she encouraged reporters to concentrate on the issues concerning everyday citizens instead of whatever filthy, animalistic sexual acts may or may not have occurred during a hedonistic weekend in Beverly Hills.

“Journalists should be reporting on the decreasing unemployment rate and the return of manufacturing jobs, not the president’s engorged genitals or the intoxicating idea of two people in a five-star Lake Tahoe hotel room tonguing honey from each other’s secret places during an illicit tryst. However titillating they might be, these rumors are just a diversion from the hard, sweaty work of helping the American worker onto his back. Back on his feet.”

Huckabee Sanders then apologized for emptying a pitcher of ice water over her head during her presentation, excused herself, and staggered moaning from the briefing room.

https://politics.theonion.com/huckabee-sanders-warns-stormy-daniels-disclosures-just-1823620557

[PJMcK]

1. A question to be asked of Ms. Sanders

For a couple of decades, Donald Trump has publicly bragged about his sexual affairs with many different women. Do you, Ms. Sanders, believe that Trump did not have an affair with the president?

By the way, before you answer that question, if it comes to light that there are irrefutable facts that prove he did, what will you do?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. This is The Onion.

Serious comments might get more consideration in serious threads.

[PJMcK]

10. Well, I feel silly

That's what happens when I don't read the entire post!

On the other hand, this rabbit hole that Trump has led us down has made satire almost indistinguishable from reality.

It must be Obama's fault!

[Chipper Chat]

2. the real issues being.......

.......the peepee tape.

[Leghorn21]

3. Haw haw!!

”Look, I know how easy it is to get all hot and bothered while reading these tantalizing stories about the president, but Americans need to focus on the concrete problems affecting our nation,” said a sweaty, visibly aroused Huckabee Sanders, who flushed noticeably and bit her bottom lip as she encouraged reporters to concentrate on the issues concerning everyday citizens instead of whatever filthy, animalistic sexual acts may or may not have occurred during a hedonistic weekend in Beverly Hills.

[machoneman]

5. Now THAT'S funny! n/m

n/m

[myraphilips]

6. The Onion

That was on the Onion and is actually fake news. In sad news this is a Womans day and this is what we have to deal with.

[Zorro]

7. The Onion is actually fake news?

It's getting harder and harder to tell these days.

[radical noodle]

9. The poor Onion can't make up stuff

as silly as real politics these days, but yes... The Onion is always satire.

[Ilsa]

8. Oh my! It sounds as if Sarah has a crush on Donald!

Yes, its The Onion. But they imply Sarah has the hots for him!